Saturday, June 25, 2016

Being a mommy

A few days ago when the girls and I were driving somewhere, Margaret said, ‘I want to be a Mommy someday, Mommy.’  

I said, ‘I look forward to that, it means I get to be a grandma!’

After agreeing with me, Margaret asked, ‘Do you know why I want to be a Mommy, Mommy?’

I said, ‘Why?’ and she replied, ‘Because I really want to be able to make dinner!  And to run tubbies!’

I said, ‘Margaret, you know you don’t have to wait till you’re a Mommy to do those things, right?!  When you’re a little older, you can make dinner and run tubbies for me!’

She thought about that for a second and then said, ‘Really?!  Are you kidding me?!’

LOL!  I don’t want my kids to be ‘all growed up yet’ so I’m still very happy to do the ‘mothering’...but I look forward to the day I get dinner made for me AND a bath run afterwards!!!  

I’m sure I’ll have to remind Margaret of how badly she wanted this to be her reality, because I have a strong feeling she won’t be as keen as she thinks she’ll be to do these things for me :D

Saturday, June 04, 2016

My 'me day' didn't quite work out as planned

Today I had plans to go to the states with a couple of girl friends, which I was really looking forward to for many reasons.  I knew what I wanted to shop for, was excited to see what I might find at the stores we fell in love with when we went a few months ago, and it meant an entire day to myself, with my friends, no chores and no kid-related responsibilities.

I was pretty sad when the plans fell through and I realized that the day James had added to our calendar as ‘Liz’s Day to Herself’ would become ‘A regular Saturday for Liz.’  But these things happen.

I’ve been in a funk this past week in general, and I was beginning to feel myself slipping into an even deeper one.  But this morning I woke up feeling more positive, and while Andrew was having a sleepover at Nana’s, James and I decided to take the girls to De Dutch for breakfast.

We don’t take the kids out to eat at restaurants very often, in part because it’s crazy expensive for a family of 5 and the kids never eat much of what we order for them but of course they always want to order their own food.  As well, it can feel like more work for us than it’s worth because we have to come up with things to constantly entertain the kids.  As much as I enjoy eating out because it means I don’t have to cook or clean up, the pros don’t always outweigh the cons!

But Margaret and Emily were SO excited to be going to a restaurant today that they were on their best behaviour.  They were so good the entire time we were there!  They checked out their kids’ menus, coloured on them, and while they didn’t eat much of their food (surprisingly Margaret did better than Emily for eating, which is generally not the case) they did have some fruit and eggs.  I had a delicious Edam and spinach benny.  The girls wanted to get up and move around after a while but it was pretty much just as we’d finished up and were ready to go, anyway.  All in all a great experience and definitely we would do it again (although I think next time we’ll have to convince them to just share something teensy tiny and if they want more food they can have some of ours).

It was nice to break up the day by getting out in the morning, doing something we don’t normally do.  When we got home the girls and I went into the backyard, where I caught some rays while they put some water in the little kiddie pool.  I cooled off by dipping my feet in the pool, and Margaret got right in and was splashing around.  They were so well-behaved so for a little while I could actually just sit and relax and enjoy the sunshine (it was HOT today, and supposed to be even hotter tomorrow!)  

I got James to put a thing with 3 hooks up in my bedroom closet, which I’ve slooooowly but surely been getting more organized.  I don’t think it will ever ‘be organized’ but I’m content with having it be ‘more organized’!!  Once that little hook thing was up (I don’t know what to actually call it, but I'm using it to display my necklaces) I put up a picture a little ways above it of Andrew’s first year, with a picture for each month of his first year of life, and between the picture and the hooks I put up a decal that says, ‘Dream.’  I love the way it looks.  I want to be able to go into my closet (it’s a decent-sized walk-in) and feel relaxed and happy with it, not get keyed-up because it’s a disaster and I’m reminded of the work I need to do on it every time I open the door!  So I’m happy with the way it’s finally coming together.

While the girls were in their room refusing to nap, James and I had the chance to sit outside together and chat for a while, which is a major rarity on the weekends, or any day of the week for that matter it seems.  Then when it was too late for the girls to sleep even if they’d wanted to, we said they could come down and I got them dressed and off James took them to his mom’s for a visit.  He had to go pick Andrew up, and she wanted to see the girls as she’s been travelling the world for the past 7 weeks (she and I still don’t speak so I obviously wasn’t joining in the visit).  So I have had several hours to myself, it’s just that by the time I got it I’ve been feeling tired and lazy and haven’t managed to accomplish nearly as much as I had imagined I would have.  

Still, it’s nice to be sitting out in this beautiful weather, where the backyard is now in the shade but it’s still very warm and summery.  I’m going to read for a while, and just relax, and enjoy the calm before everyone is home again.

Wednesday, June 01, 2016

Cloudy with a chance of new shoes

It’s clouded over and is definitely a cooler day than yesterday, but it’s still warm enough that I can sit outside to write this.  I’m in our little front yard space, sitting on the swinging bench, listening to what I wish was the sweet sound of birds chirping but it’s more like the insane sound of crows cawing.  You can’t win ‘em all!!

Yesterday I just couldn’t even deal with trying to get the girls to nap so I made a deal with them that they could stay up if they let me have just a few minutes of quiet time to myself.  They didn’t really hold up their end of the bargain all that well, and were a nightmare by dinner time AND had a huge meltdown when it was time for bed, so today I insisted on them taking a proper nap.  It actually worked, too, they didn’t fuss longer than a few minutes today.  

They were probably tired after shoe shopping this morning!  I don’t know where my girls get their love of all things girly and in particular of all things SHOES because it’s certainly not from me!  I was a tomboy as a little girl and only wore dresses if I had to.  I hated shoes unless they were clunky and boyish.  Boots were always my preference.  (And today I live in flip flops, and will always hate shoe shopping for myself!) Now I have two girly girls, and in all honesty I think it’s pretty darn cute!  I like that they also enjoy wearing their brother’s hand me downs at times, like yesterday when they were wearing Darth Vader shirts that Andrew wore at their age!  But for the most part they’ll pick frilly dresses and fancy shoes any day.

Today it was all about finding new croc type shoes, which makes me cringe to write because in reality I am not a fan of crocs.  But they get cute patterned kid knock off ones that serve their purpose well!  They just need something easy they can slip on, nothing fancy (they already have several pairs of fancy shoes!!)  Of course most of what they have is the same as each other (to avoid them fighting over who gets to wear what) but I let them pick out whichever ones they wanted and Emily picked My Little Pony and Margaret picked Frozen.  I also got them each a pair of flip flops for a steal at $5 each.  They both had several other pairs of shoes they wanted me to buy for them but my gawd it can get pricey when buying for several kids!  So they had to get only what we needed today.  Andrew needs a new pair of shoes for his upcoming Hip Hop dance recital so I had to factor that in as well!

I can’t believe the school year is winding down and it’s basically summer.  I think it’s still technically spring, but the weather tends to be so warm that I think of it as being summer already.  There are several events to get through at Andrew’s school, including a week of swim lessons and his dance recital (which is separate from school, but will be a pretty big deal!) - June is a very busy month!  I feel like in the blink of an eye it’ll be over and we’ll be officially on summer holidays.  Which isn’t a holiday per se...I will be in a DAZE so I guess we could call it summer holidaze!  LOL  I think it will have its challenges but will also be great, and I look SO forward to not having to do the whole school drop off and pick up.  I also love that having made more friends of my own this year, with kids in the same or similar ages to my own, I know we’ll have plenty of opportunity for playdates throughout the summer as well.

Kind of off topic but last weekend my grandma came to visit.  On Monday I was supposed to go to a friend’s birthday breakfast, and then was having another friend and her kids over for a playdate/lunch.  My friend was going to be bringing the entire lunch, too, she insisted on it.  I ended up getting violently ill on Sunday night and literally threw up every 15 minutes or more for HOURS.  I was sicker than I remember being in YEARS.  Needless to say, all of Monday’s plans had to be cancelled, and I felt particularly bad for my friend who had prepared to bring us lunch that day.  But I was crazy sick, and when I finally stopped throwing up I was left with a migraine headache and waves of lingering nausea.  It was a tough couple of days!  Luckily James was able to work from home on Monday (which he hasn’t been able to do much at all recently as he took on a new team lead role at work that makes it more challenging for him to work from home).  I don’t know what I would have done if he hadn’t been able to be home.  I had to go back to bed before lunch time, and felt like I was dragging myself around most of the day.  Luckily the girls were fairly well-behaved for me, knowing I wasn’t feeling well.  But I felt pretty desperate there for a while.

Yesterday I discovered that my shoulders and ribs and most of my muscles used for barfing were SO SORE because I’d been heaving into the porcelain bowl for so long.  I guess it was more of a workout than I’ve been used to lately!  LOL  I’m finally feeling better today, although still maybe a bit more tired than usual.    I have to get better in time for the weekend because I have a really fun day planned with two of my girl friends on Saturday!

It feels now more than ever that time just goes by so fast, and there’s never enough time for everything I hope to get done, but it is what it is.  I hope I can find better balance this summer and not get to the point where I’m burnt out so badly that I wind up sick, which I kind of think is partly why I ended up so ill the other night.  I could feel myself getting really run-down but I didn’t listen to my body until I had no other choice.  Does life ever slow down enough for a person to feel like they’re caught up, or would that just be totally boring?!