Wednesday, September 02, 2015

The good ol' days...

(I wrote this on the evening of Friday, August 28th)...

We got our first family computer when I was about 10-11 years old, so around 1990/91.  It was a huge clunker of a desktop that literally took up the entire desk top, and had zero programs on it other than a word processor, but it was brand new and state of the art for the time.  The screen was black with yellow writing, and when I wasn’t whiling away my time writing stories (I remember writing a lot about the Fraser Gold Rush as it was what I was learning about in Social Studies at the time) I would play the tutorial for the word processor as if it were a game.  There was literally nothing else I could do with the machine, so I got creative with it, and particularly enjoyed writing stories and printing off little letters to send to penpals and family.  I would also print out big banners in cool fonts with our trusty old Dot Matrix printer, which could take literally an hour to print depending on how many letter there were, and then I’d sit there and perforate the edges (people younger than me probably have no idea what I’m talking about, ha!), and colour in the bubble print because, of course, the printer only had the capacity for black ink.


Oh, those were the good ol’ days!


The thing is, I kind of believe that they were.


Yes, things were simpler, and no, there wasn’t near the selection nor ability to do even close to what we can do now with just the click of a button or two. But the thing is, I personally feel that it’s easier to think less the more that’s placed in front of us.  Everything is already done and out there, or so it seems, and it’s incredibly disturbing how quickly HOURS can go by before a person realizes that they just wasted their time frittering it away on perusing the internet, when they could have been doing something creative to better themselves.  


Not that one can’t better themselves with the information obtained via the interwebs, I’m just saying, it can have the opposite effect as well.  I think of such things as Pinterest and while I LOVE pinning and spending time looking at amazing crafts and DIYs that in my mind I’d love to do, but seriously...It also REALLY grates on my nerves how many videos pop up in my newsfeed on Facebook suggesting I make pancakes that look like a spitting image of Albert Einstein, for example.  It can all seem like too much after a while.  On the one hand I love it, but on the other, way to make me feel bad about myself for not doing all the things that apparently everyone else with internet access is doing daily!  Fack!

I love technology and feel like I can’t live without it, but that’s because I’ve gotten used to having it at my fingertips at all times.  But sometimes I can’t help but wonder what it would be like if I’d never known it.  

We got our first family computer when I was about 10 years old, so around 1990.  It was a huge clunker of a desktop that literally took up the entire desk top, and had zero programs on it other than a word processor, but it was brand new and state of the art for the time.  The screen was black with yellow writing, and when I wasn’t whiling away my time writing stories (I remember writing a lot about the Fraser Gold Rush as it was what I was learning about in Social Studies at the time) I would play the tutorial for the word processor as if it were a game.  There was literally nothing else I could do with the machine, so I got creative with it, and particularly enjoyed writing stories and printing off little letters to send to penpals and family.  I would also print out big banners in cool fonts with our trusty old Dot Matrix printer, which could take literally an hour to print depending on how many letter there were, and then I’d sit there and perforate the edges (people younger than me probably have no idea what I’m talking about, ha!), and colour in the bubble print because, of course, the printer only had the capacity for black ink.

Oh, those were the good ol’ days!

The thing is, I kind of believe that they were.

Yes, things were simpler, and no, there wasn’t near the selection nor ability to do even close to what we can do now with just the click of a button or two. But the thing is, I personally feel that it’s easier to think less the more that’s placed in front of us.  Everything is already done and out there, or so it seems, and it’s incredibly disturbing how quickly HOURS can go by before a person realizes that they just wasted their time frittering it away on perusing the internet, when they could have been doing something creative to better themselves.  

Not that one can’t better themselves with the information obtained via the interwebs, I’m just saying, it can have the opposite effect as well.  I think of such things as Pinterest and while I LOVE pinning and spending time looking at amazing crafts and DIYs that in my mind I’d love to do, but seriously...It also REALLY grates on my nerves how many videos pop up in my newsfeed on Facebook suggesting I make pancakes that look like a spitting image of Albert Einstein, for example.  It can all seem like too much after a while.  On the one hand I love it, but on the other, way to make me feel bad about myself for not doing all the things that apparently everyone else with internet access is doing daily!  Fack!

I love technology and feel like I can’t live without it, but that’s because I’ve gotten used to having it at my fingertips at all times.  But sometimes I can’t help but wonder what it would be like if I’d never known it.  

….

It’s after 1 in the morning (so, Saturday now), I got up to get some water and try to collect my thoughts enough to feel like I can shut my brain off and sleep.  Only I came downstairs to find a cluster of newborn baby spiders hanging from the stove vent in the kitchen, and starting to disperse themselves.  So I had that to contend with, and considering I hate spiders more than pretty much anything, it has left me feeling somewhat scarred and even less at a point of feeling sleep-ready.  Which is frustrating given that I only got about 4 hours sleep last night, I’ve been nursing a bad headache for nearly 2 weeks now on and off (mostly on), and the curse is starting to take over as only it can this fateful time each month.  I’m so tired I’m starting to wonder if I’m coming down with a cold, but then I remind myself that it’s normal to feel those symptoms when completely run down from lack of sleep...and then I start to panic that because I’m making it worse by still not sleeping, I WILL end up getting sick after all.  It’s a vicious circle!  I’m so tired I can’t sleep….or...haven’t slept in years….(song references, in case you didn’t know.  Fancy thing about the internet, you can look those up and instantly know the song names/artists...which in tune with my last post (the good ol’ days), was another impossibility ‘back when I was a girl’...!!!  If it wasn’t in the dictionary or an encyclopedia, you weren’t going to find an answer unless someone already knew it to tell you!)

Netflix is another MAJOR time waster, and while on some levels I LOVE Netflix, I’m also starting to view it as the enemy.  As of tonight I’m taking a break from it.  I’ll watch a show on there with James, but I’m not allowing myself to get suckered into binge watching another series when it’s late at night and I finally have my quiet time to do something productive.  It’s ok to want to veg sometimes, and no one could blame me for feeling tired and lazy by 10 or 11 at night after being on my own with the kids for 11 hours or more throughout the day!  But honestly...I know if I’m more productive, even if it means for gawd’s sake picking up an actual BOOK and just reading, I’ll feel so much better about myself and what I’m doing for my mind.  (I do have a book on the go currently, as it happens, but I tend to choose Netflix type time wasters over books more often than not, which is incredibly sad).

Recent series I’ve enjoyed lately include Switched at Birth, and The Fosters.  Both had lengthy seasons, which was great because I loved both the shows, but omg what a lot of time spent watching them when I could have been doing other things.  Not that I regret watching them, it’s just...there’s a reason I feel in need of a break from it.

It’s so hard to stay away from technology, there’s such a strong pull toward it.  Feeling the need to have our phones practically strapped to us at all times, it’s ridiculous.  How did we ever manage without them?!  And yet we did, didn’t we?!  I feel like life was so much simpler back before all of this social media stuff, and part of me wishes it didn’t exist so we could see what it’s like to live differently.  

I’m bummed that my gym closed for good officially as of today.  I barely got there this month, in part because we were busy but I think mostly because once I knew they were ending it, I felt no motivation to keep up with it.  I knew I’d lose everything I’d worked hard for there because if I don’t keep up with similar machines, how can I expect to keep the muscle and fitness level?  I now am faced with being back at square one, trying to figure out what to do to keep in shape.  I HAVE to do it, because I already don’t feel nearly as well as I did when I was working out at least 3 times per week.  I felt stronger, happier, healthier, even if I didn’t actually look like I’d lost weight.  I could feel the difference, not necessarily in my weight but in my fitness and strength.  And it did wonders for me.  I need to keep that up, but without access to a gym, how?  Nothing else is affordable.  It’s not just an excuse.  I have to come up with a whole new plan and make it work.

I want to focus on reading and writing and being creative.  I want to somehow figure out a way to do all of those things AND get more sleep so that I’m more present and able-bodied/able-minded for the kids.  I hate feeling so sluggish and tired all the time and feeling like half the time I’m just a zombie on auto-pilot because it takes literally all my strength just to do what I absolutely have to.  I want to feel happier, clearer-minded, and more balanced and centered within myself.  I need to do all these things and I want to do them, so hopefully that will be the motivation I need to actually work at making the necessary changes in my life to achieve these goals.  Less technology and more getting back to my roots!

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