Taking charge of my life, once and for all

Assuming that this stupid virus is truly, finally gone, which I’m unanimous that it HAS to be this week (I mostly feel better, just the flu-like feeling lingers here and there) I VOW that next Saturday I am going to check out a particular gym that I’ve been considering joining for a while, and FINALLY take the plunge and get a membership. (Edit: Even if the virus appears to be lingering, I AM DOING THIS. No more excuses!)

I’ve put it off and put it off...and put it off some more...for so many reasons.  A lot of them valid ones, which I will list.  For example, every time I think it would be a good time to join, another virus hits our household.  I hate the idea of missing a couple of weeks of going to the gym due to an illness (which honestly, the last few viruses I’ve had have wiped me out so badly that I literally would not have been well enough to go, for my own sake as well as the health of others as I wouldn’t want to spread the germs).  I can’t in all good conscience pay for a gym membership when the money could be spent elsewhere (or, ideally, saved for the future) if I’m not going to make it several times a week to make it worthwhile.  Secondly, my periods are SEVERE and I honestly doubt I will make it to the gym more than once, if at all, during the week-long event that is my period each month.  So that kind of ‘puts a cramp’ in it...Pun intended!!  I’m working on finding out if there’s something actually wrong/what I can do to make my periods not so severe, but in the meantime...yeah.  Ovulation is also severe, to the point I have cramps that are very much like early labour contractions (which is a major reason why I’ve been to the doctor/had an ultrasound to try to figure out what’s going on) and that can be so debilitating, it feels like my uterus is going to explode so I can’t see myself going to a gym on the days when that happens.  But my other excuses are a bit poorer, in that I’ll say, ‘I’m too tired, by the time I have the time to do something like that, I haven’t got the energy to do it.’  It’s TRUE, but I also know that if I force myself, I could manage it, would be better for it, and would get into a routine where I just have more energy to begin with so...there’s that.  I also say, ‘I don’t have time, period.’  (Not relating back to my actual period, but as in, ain’t nobody got time for THAT, as if exercising properly in a gym setting is out.of.the.question)!

The truth is, no, I don’t have a lot of time, but I know the amount of time needed to get to the gym even 2-3 times a week (much preferably 3 times) IS doable.  It might be frustrating at times and yes, there may be weeks when I get there more than others, but maybe some weeks I could go 4 times and another go only once or twice.  The point is, I NEED THIS.  I can’t just exercise at home, because in all honesty, I don’t do near enough of it to actually make a difference in my overall health and appearance.  Yes, I do use my exercise bike, but not religiously (although I’m thinking of moving it downstairs where it’s more visible, and then I might feel compelled to use it more because, after all, it’s right there.  I do do some ab exercises and stretches, but not as regular a basis as I want to be doing.  Which is ridiculous because if I want to be doing it, why am I not?!  But then, maybe that’s the clincher, because I ‘want’ a more toned body but realistically I don’t ACTUALLY want to do the work to get it!  Which is so gross to say, I feel like the biggest slug ever.  I am so LAZY!  But it’s just the cold hard truth.

I have to do it though, I have to, I have to, I HAVE TO!  There can be no more excuses.  I remember there used to be a TV show (I can’t remember the name of it) where it showed what you’d look like if you kept up with the habits you have currently over a number of years, and when it showed people’s bodies after, say, 5-10 years it was astounding how much weight people would gain if they didn’t change their habits.  I feel like I am on that path, and it’s not so much because I just sit around the kitchen table with mounds of food and pig out, but because I’ve had so many children (or at least a twin pregnancy that really did a number on my body) and the reality is that I’m not getting any younger, so it’s not as easy as it used to be to keep weight off.  I haven’t gained any weight in the past couple of years but I haven’t been losing it either, and I REALLY want to lose 30lbs.  That’s my initial goal, more would actually be better in my opinion but I also don’t want to turn this into an unhealthy obsession.  If I lost 30lbs I would be pleased with the results and decide from there what is best for me.  But until I actually accomplish this, I’m just going to keep hearing that nagging voice telling me I should be doing it and then feel the guilt when I don’t do anything to get there.

So I’m putting it out there that this coming Saturday is the day (only waiting till the weekend because realistically I can't take my 3 kids with me to the appointment to get started!), in fact I am going to call the gym early this week to see if I should make an appointment to chat with them about the membership and take it from there.  This has to happen, it’s going to, no more putting it off another day, week, month, YEAR.  This is getting beyond a joke, and I want to see results by this summer, so I’ve got some serious work to do!


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