Monday, August 18, 2014

My baby boy starts Kindergarten soon..

Andrew has really taken to math and writing lately.  He will actually request a piece of paper and his felts so he can ‘just sit and do math’ and he’ll write out problems such as 1+1 or 2x2 and solve them.  He’s pretty quick, too, when he’s asked something like, ‘What’s 10x3?’  He knows without even having to think about it!  Even things like, ‘What’s 5x10, +2?’  He enjoys figuring it out.

He’s taken to watching an Animal ABC show on Netflix and he’ll sit with his paper and felt marker, writing down the words as the show spells them out.  I love his interest in learning and seeing how well he’s doing with his writing.  He’s always so proud of himself when he spells out a new word.

He also loves playing with play dough, and will sit for a decent stretch of time as of late and just create things on his own.  He always prefers if someone’s with him while he works, and someone usually is, but I like that he’s finally showing more ability to just work away on his own for a while and be independent about his play.  He LOVES to draw and paint and do any crafts whatsoever.  He enjoys making collages on James’ computer, and recently became somewhat addicted to composing his own music through Garage Band.  He loves to read books, of course, and particularly likes to have Mommy tuck him into bed at night because he knows I’m an easy mark and will read a couple more books than what I tell him I will.

It’s hard to believe that my ‘baby’ boy is going to be starting Kindergarten IN TWO WEEKS.  I am actually a bit of a wreck over it.  I’ve always been sentimental about his milestones, of course, but it has always seemed that we’d hit a milestone and then we’d be onto the next one so quickly that I wouldn’t have time to dwell on the one he’d just had.  This one feels monumental.  It feels like it’s going to change everything, and in some ways it will.

Andrew has basically been my sidekick since the day he was born.  He’s never been away from me longer than 2 nights, and he’s usually with me every day, all day.  We do everything together, and on the days he goes to his nana’s every few weeks or so, I may have a few more quiet moments during the day, but I do miss his energy.

It’s going to be a huge adjustment having him in school.  Selfishly, I’m REALLY dreading the drop off and pick up every day, because it means getting up earlier and I already feel like the wind’s been knocked out of me, I’m so tired every morning.  I’ll have to not only get up earlier but be presentable myself AND have all 3 kids dressed and out the door by a certain time.  If we walk it means two hours of walking per day, and if we take the van it means a lot of rigmarole because I have to get the kids into the van, take out the stroller for the babies to get Andrew to his classroom, get the babies back into the van and stroller too, back home, and repeat it all in the afternoon.  If it’s raining I don’t love the idea of 2 hours of walking each day, but we’ll also get drenched just in the process of me getting the girls into their stroller and back into the van at the school.  There is no good way of looking at it!  This is coming from a person who, for the past 5+ years, other than a few days here and there with appointments has pretty much had the ‘luxury’ of seeing a dreary day and just not bothering to venture out in it.  I have to get used to a whole new scenario, and it includes twin toddlers who I know will get into the groove of it just as I will...I’m just not looking forward to it, and I doubt they would be either if they knew what was coming!!

I’m excited for Andrew learning new things and meeting new people and having proper friends that he can see on a regular basis.  But I worry about how much he’s going to change, not because I don’t want him to become his own person more and more but because up till now he’s been just under our influence and it’s obviously a lot easier that way!  I can recall COUNTLESS people, even perfect strangers, telling us when he was an infant that, ‘you should enjoy the next 5 years and cherish them, because once he starts school EVERYTHING will change and it will never be the same again.’  Here we are, 5 years later, and those words have obviously scarred me, because I feel really REALLY overwhelmed about him starting this next chapter.  It’s not like, oh, ok, we’ll enroll in a class and see how it goes and if we enjoy going we’ll do so but we’re not locked in.  This is major, this is the next 13 years of his life and then he’s an adult!  I feel like something really big and really important is coming to an end, which might seem silly, it’s just the way this is affecting me.  I’m not ready to let go.

I know it’s ‘only’ Kindergarten and we’ll ease into it just like everyone else does.  I know there are a lot of exciting things ahead for Andrew and for us as a family, and I realize that just because he’ll have more outside influences it doesn’t mean he won’t also take with him the morals and values he’s learned at home.  I just feel really sentimental, and I wonder where the last five and a half years have gone.  Life was so much simpler when Andrew was just a baby and everything but our time spent cuddling seemed so far off in the distance.  It’s just hard to believe that he’ll be having his First Day of Kindergarten photo taken in a couple of weeks.

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