Thursday, October 31, 2013

I survived the first year with twins!

I wrote this just before the babies turned one (October 14th was their birthday) and just realized I never got around to posting it (blargh!)  So here it is...better late than never!

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On Monday Margaret and Emily will be one year old.  ONE!  Already!  This past year has really flown by.  It’s such a whirlwind being a twin mom – there are days that feel as if they are dragging on into eternity, never to end.  But as I sit here and reflect on the past year, I have to wonder where it went. 

I swear it was just yesterday that James and my mom rushed me to BC Women’s as my labour got stronger and stronger.  I remember Baby A (Margaret) coming out first and being handed to me right away, her skinny little 5lb7.5oz self just as cute as can be, followed by my ‘Baby B Bonus Baby’ as I like to call Emily sometimes, all 5lb11.5oz of her, FEET FIRST might I add.  My babies!  I had no idea who they would be and yet the minute I laid eyes on them it was as if I’d never lived without them.

It’s hard to believe that a year ago at this time, Andrew was still my ‘baby.’  He was almost 4, but he seemed like such a little boy to me.  When my water broke in the middle of the night and we had to rush to get him dropped off to my dad, he looked so little in his navy blue housecoat, sleepy and unknowing of truly how much his life was about to change from Only Child to Big Brother Of Two Baby Sisters.  When I saw him again in the hospital later that day, he was so grown up and so big-boyish.  I couldn’t believe it!  And with such amazing Big Brother Instinct – he has been amazing (for the most part!) with his sisters since day one.

It’s not easy being a parent of twins.  It’s not ‘easy’ being the parent of any number of children, but multiple children of the exact same age is a challenge.  Infancy is particularly trying at times.  You have two helpless little beings that deserve and require all the love and care in the world and it’s your job to somehow juggle that.  You never get a break because someone is always in need of something, and while in a perfect world napping would always be on the same schedule, in this one it’s an occasional treat…(except that having another child, too, means nap time doesn’t equal break time ever, anyway!) 

It’s extremely difficult, for example, to grocery shop with twin babies because they can’t sit in a grocery cart in the beginning, so there are lots of trips to the grocery store where a stroller is pushed and a cart is pulled behind you.  It also takes about 2 hours to do a shop that would take about 30 minutes under normal circumstances, but lasts a lifetime because you’re stopped so often for having twins.  ‘Are they two boys?’ (No, girls…they’re both wearing pink!), ‘Did you have a c-section?’  (Not that it matters, but no, they were born the old-fashioned way, with help from an epidural in the last few hours THANK GAWD).  ‘Did you use IVF?’  (So what if I did, but no, thanks for asking, I did not).  ‘Do twins run in your family?’  (Yup, both sides.  Who knew I’d be one of the ‘lucky ones’?!)  ‘Are they identical?’ (No).  ‘Yes they are!’  (Why did you ask if you’re so sure, but no, honestly, as far as I know they’re not!)  ‘AND you have an older child, you’re brave!’  (Umm, I didn’t exactly ‘plan’ on having twins, I don’t see how bravery factors in?)  ‘You’ve sure got your hands full!’  (You’re telling me!!)  So many questions like this…EVERY.TIME.I.LEFT.THE.HOUSE.  I notice it’s calming down now…I still get a lot of questions, but not quite as invasive as the beginning months.  (Although I just got asked the other day how many minutes apart they were born...which is ridiculous, who cares?!!  They're one, does a 6 minute age difference really matter to you?!)  Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate the smiles the babies give to people when we’re out in public, it’s just tough sometimes…You tell me how full my hands are and yet you’re making it take so much longer for me to get the job done…I have felt like a circus freak show on more than a number of occasions with the way people react to the fact that I have twins!  And, heaven forbid, have ventured out in public with!!

I could go on and on and on…and on…and on…But you know what?  While I never really imagined myself with twins, and while I still feel overwhelmed sometimes with the challenges involved with having multiples, I WOULDN’T CHANGE IT FOR ANYTHING.  I LOVE my girls, and I LOVE being a twin mom.  I got not one but TWO amazingly perfect newborn babies - yes, within 6 minutes of each other!  I get twice the cuddles, twice the smiles, twice the giggles, and twice the every single adorable thing babies do.  Twice the LOVE!!  I also get to enjoy my babies interacting with each other, and witness the strong, unexplainable bond that twins share, that no one else can fully understand.  That even I can’t understand, because I’m not a twin myself, but witnessing it in my two daughters gives me goosebumps sometimes, and I love knowing that they will always have each other (and their big brother) to count on.  (Just the other day, I was tickling Margaret's little feet...and instead of Margaret giggling as I thought she would, Emily started giggling...Coincidence?  Maybe...But it seemed like more than that to me, like Emily was feeling the tickles, not Margaret.  I can't explain it but I do believe it!)

Sometimes people ‘pity’ me for having twins – I have actually had perfect strangers say so right to my face!  I take complete offence to that, because I don’t need, nor want, anyone’s pity.  I never in a million years would have had 3 kids if twins hadn’t happened to me, but guess what –  I was given a whole extra person to love just by fate, and if you ask me that’s pretty darn incredible.  My life is chaos, yes, but it’s a good kind of chaos.  I’m the mother of twins, and I couldn’t be more proud!

2 comments:

Sophie Liebe said...

Congratulations on surviving a year with your twins! I was just looking at some of my old blog posts, including my birth story with the twins, and I do not think I actually replied to your question. I am so sorry!! I had meant to write you back. You had asked a breastfeeding question. . . I breastfed both at the same time and still do. Let me know how you're fairing when you have a chance.

Best wishes,
Lily

Lily of the Valley said...

Argh, I just realized I was signed into a different account (Sophie Liebe) in the comment I just left. You had left a comment on my post: http://pregnantwomenandbabies.blogspot.com/2012/03/my-birth-story-with-twins.html

Best wishes,
Lily



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