Can't I get a break?!

Did I say the main challenge with twins right now is the fact that James and I rarely have time just the two of us?!  Yesterday must have been more of a smooth-sailing sort of day around here.  I can’t totally remember, because of course I still have baby brain (and likely will for many, many years…ok, probably forever!) but yeah…today?  I’m thinking the main challenge with twins is the obvious fact that THERE ARE TWO OF THEM!

Love them to pieces, totally not that I wish I only had one baby.  I just wish I had an extra pair of hands maybe?!  Or another set of eyes?!  How about 3 nannies – one for each child?!  LOL!!!!!!!!!  I’m joking.  (Maybe?) =P

The logistics make things difficult.  I have a 4 year old who wants me to play hide and seek with him in the backyard.  But I also have two 9 month olds in the kiddie pool splashing around.  I can’t play hide and seek and properly watch 2 babies in water.  So I have a disappointed 4 year old (though he’s somewhat easily swayed to do something else…Today he was content to hose off some outdoor  toys we found in a bin that he’d forgot he even had).  But then one baby wants out of the pool, but as soon as I pick her up, the other baby wants out, too.  I’d say I can’t pick up 2 babies at once, but I do it somehow.  It’s just that it’s not easy, especially when combined they are over 40 pounds.  I have one towel sorta, kinda, not completely wrapped around 2 babies, and I still need to open the screen door and lift the superyard panels that we have propped against the door on the inside to keep the babies from falling through the door when they’re in the living room.  Not an easy task with all that baby in my arms!!  I do it, it’s just hard, and then they inevitably knock heads as I try to put them on the floor as gently as I can, hoping neither of them pees on the carpet as I run to get fresh diapers.  It’s tiring, and while it’s ‘only’ one extra baby, it seems WAY more complicated than if it was a singleton.

At bath time the babies get really upset because no sooner have I got a baby into the water to be washed, I’ve got to get them out and dried off so I can get the next one in.  They just don’t get to enjoy things for the same length of time as one baby, and neither do I for that matter.  Sometimes I take that stuff in stride, knowing it’s just the way it is and reminding myself of the all the benefits of two babies.  But sometimes I can’t help but feel sad at what we’re all missing out on.  I will start to cuddle one baby and feel good about the fact that we’re having a bonding moment, but it’s always cut short because the other baby needs me, too.  I will just get one down for a nap and breathe a sigh of relief for a moment of peace, and then curse the fact that it truly IS just ONE MOMENT because the other baby wakes up the instant her sister falls asleep.  Obviously not every time – at the moment ALL 3 KIDS ARE ASLEEP…But the sad thing about that is it’s nearly 6pm and they fell asleep at about 5:30.  Meaning there’s a good chance at least 2 of the 3 of them won’t want to go to bed till super late.  And so continues the reality of James and I spending no time together, because he’ll likely have to go to bed before they do!

Sigh.  I’m happy mostly.  I have other stressors in my life right now that are pretty seriously affecting how I feel, which makes any little issue seem like something huge.  I’m exhausted, have 40 million things on my to do list, no time to accomplish anything more than half-assed…I just need to breathe.

To add insult to injury, I just sneezed (which obviously couldn’t be avoided) and woke Margaret up.  SIGH!  I think I know the answer to the title of this post…


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