I can't think of a title for this one...that's how tired I am!
Tonight we had pancakes (and veggie sausage and hash browns) for dinner. James was skeptical when I told him, ‘We’re having pancakes for dinner!’ when he was on his way home (I did it for Shrove Tuesday…well, actually because it sounded easy to make pancakes and I know Andrew loves them!) but because there was veg sausage and hash browns, he was happy. It’s kind of fun having breakfast for dinner once in a while, I usually don’t think to do that.
Life continues to be chaotic here, I know that’s just the way it’s going to be for a while. I loved having James home from work yesterday, though, for Family Day – BC’s new stat holiday. Woot, woot!! It was such a relief to have him home for an extra day, and for this to be a short week. I’m SO FREAKING TIRED ALL THE TIME that it means so much to have James’ help.
He’s been so awesome, too – like tonight for instance. After dinner he said he was going to get changed and then ‘the night was mine.’ Obviously not the whole night, since he has to go to bed by 9pm, BUT it means I get a break, and I didn’t ask for it, so I feel less guilty taking it! I’m exhausted so it’s needed – I’m writing this quickly, then I’m going to have the world’s quickest bath and then perhaps sleep for 20 minutes if I can fit it all in before my time is up!! It’s all a rush – I’d love to just leisurely hang out and do whatever I feel like without a time limit, but hey, I’m not going to look a gift horse in the mouth, either, so this time is mine and it’s soooo needed.
I think because James does (on the weekends in particular) spend several hours at a time on his own with all 3 kids, he has really come to appreciate what I do and says regularly, ‘I don’t know how you do this every day!’ It’s not that he doesn’t love Andrew and the babies because he does more than anything, and he is an amazing father, the best possible! But it truly is exhausting having these 3! And I appreciate that he appreciates what I go through in a day. It’s not easy! I’m not looking for praise here, it’s just the way it is. I love my kids and I love being a stay at home mom and I WANT this life, but the tiredness is killer, and it’s a big transition to go from one kid to 3. The girls will be 4 months old on Valentine’s Day (Thursday) and I am still adjusting!
Still getting settled into the new house, but we got a fair chunk of stuff done this weekend that I’m happy about. I really want to post some pictures of everything but it’s not quite how I want it yet so it will have to wait – likely several more weeks – till I have everything how I want it.
One thing I wish for that I will perhaps get within the next several weekends (maybe, possibly) is to be able to spend a few hours AT HOME ALONE. Seems like such a simple thing, right, to hang out at your own house by yourself?! But for me, well it hasn’t happened once since the babies were born. And arguably for 8 months before that, too, because they were always with me even when I was ‘alone’, right?! And trust me, they made their presence very well known even when they were on the inside! So a little time to myself would be glorious. I’d love to just relax and hang out (read: SLEEP) but I’d likely spend that time organizing things in the house, because it’s SO HARD to get anything done properly with all the kids requiring my attention left, right and center. I get started on something and then someone’s crying for me, so I do a half-assed job of putting things away thinking I’ll go back to it ‘when I get a chance’ but do you think that chance will ever come? It hasn’t yet! So I might be getting a ton done on the surface but there is still SO much to do…
Still, I have to say, it totally feels like home here already, and I LOVE it. I thought I’d miss our last place and sure there are things I loved about it, but I’m getting used to our new digs already, and I would definitely choose this place over that one any day. I just wish we had this place with the landlord we had there…but more on that topic later.
Did I mention that Margaret is in full rolling mode now? This past week, she has mastered the art of rolling and she’s loving it. She gets upset sometimes because she gets onto her belly from her back, and struggles to get to her back again, but she does it, because I find her waaay off the blanket I start her off on if I put her down and leave the room for a minute. Whereas Miss Emily likes to lay in one spot and flail her chubby little arms and legs around. I love those girls so much! They’re smiling so much and are starting to show signs of wanting to laugh. Margaret a little more so than Emily, but they’re both working on it. So darn cute. Of course, Andrew is adorable, too! My kids might drive me nuts at times, and oh boy (and girls!) do they ever (!!!) and I DO wish I had more time to myself, but it’s not possible to have 3 more precious, smart, sweet, and perfect children than mine, if I do say so myself. And the perfect husband. I DO know how very lucky I am!