I wrote this yesterday (I think?!  LOL) and of course one thing led to another and I never got back on the computer to post it...

I can’t believe Christmas is just 5 days away.  How did that happen?!

I’m finding it really stressful being able to get out to do the last minute shopping I need to do.  Probably because I’m used to having my Xmas shopping FINISHED at the absolute latest by the first week of December.  Of course, things are different this year for obvious reasons. 

Transitioning from having one child to 3 hasn’t been easy, but it hasn’t been super difficult either.  I feel like we’re coping really well, and while the lack of sleep causes some problems, beyond that it’s so far been a fairly smooth transition (ask me again at midnight when I’m totally beyond crashing, lol)  However one thing is majorly challenging to me, and it’s getting me down a little bit.  It’s the fact that it is NOT AT ALL EASY to go out with all 3 kids at once.  I’ve basically been completely on my own with all 3 kids the past 3 weeks, with the exception of Andrew going downtown once or twice a week in those weeks, in which case it was ‘just’ me and the babies.  So if I need to go out somewhere, whether it be to run what normally would be a simple errand, or what have you, I have to corral all 3 kids into the van, out of the van, back in, and out again.  And hope the babies sleep through, or have milk on the ready in bottles, pump right before we leave so my breasts don’t leak, and make sure we’re back before I’d need to pump or nurse again.  It’s a bit of a ‘procedure’ and everything takes WAY longer than it used to.  It can take literally 2-3 HOURS just to get everyone ready to the point that we are out the door and on our way, and then our outing is maybe half an hour to an hour tops.  It’s ridiculous.

The main issue isn’t the corralling of the children, though.  I can get used to the corralling.  What I’m not sure I can get used to is how inefficient I am when I’m out with all 3.  Or even just the babies, basically Andrew isn’t really an issue (unless he's in one of his moods...or pees his pants...but usually he's pretty good!), since he walks beside me anyway.  It’s the fact that with the stroller, I can’t really get much when I’m out.  I can’t grocery shop with the babies.  I can’t go to the mall and get more than a few things, because I can only get what I can carry.  Yes, there is the basket thing under the stroller, but I can’t stuff everything in there while I’m continuing to shop because of the way it’s sort of jammed underneath the infant car seats when they’re locked in place.  So basically I have to prioritize what I HAVE to get, and hope I can carry it, and get NOTHING else.  Which means sometimes not getting what I really need to get, because not everything will fit or work.  It’s all very exhausting and frustrating.  Especially, too, when I don't know when I'll be able to get back out again, so it's annoying feeling like I didn't complete what I needed to and don't know when I'll be able to...

I just want to go to a couple of stores and get the last minute stuff I need before Xmas, but it would take literally HOURS to get everyone ready to get to the mall, and then it’s pouring rain so I’d get drenched getting the stroller ready and the babies into it in the parking lot.  I’m also REALLY not in the mood  to deal with people asking me if my babies are twins and who the older one is and whether they’re girls or boys and oh my gaaaaaawd how full my hands are.  They’re so full I can’t even get any effing groceries when I need them, so please don’t constantly remind me how goddam full my hands are!!!!!!!!!!!

I’m particularly overtired today.  The sleep deprivation has caught up to me in a really bad way, and it’s not got for my mood…


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