Thursday, November 29, 2012

Never a dull moment...

I feel like I have so little time to myself these days.  Probably because I truly don’t!  When I have a spare moment that’s really just ‘mine’ I’m either bathing or sleeping.  Sad, but true – only the absolute essentials get attended to these days.

I have a really bad cold that I think is partly a flu bug as well.  I’m starting to feel a bit better, but it’s been a rough week.  The exhaustion has been to the max, to the point that at times I get a dizzy feeling, as if I’m standing over top a parking lot or something – you know how sometimes in a store it will feel like you’re shaking a bit, and it’s because there’s a parking lot underneath?  Only whenever it has happened I’m at home, and while technically there IS a parking lot underneath us, come to think of it (LOL, seriously!), I KNOW it doesn’t make anything feel shaky.  It’s literally the exhaustion causing it.

Other than that, life is just peachy!!  I really am enjoying the girls, despite how tiring they are (even though they don’t really do anything yet, so they shouldn’t seem as exhausting as they do!)  They are just so cute and chubby and sweet and loveable.  Today Andrew was dancing to some music and the girls took turns on my lap bobbing to some songs.  They particularly seemed to enjoy Kid Cudi and Missy Elliott.  Train (Drive By) was another favourite!  So cute. 

I’ve been loving dressing them up in all their cute outfits, but my gawd are they outgrowing things quickly.  It’s CRAZY actually, how big they’re getting so fast.  I put them in some onesies today for 3-6 months, and they were a perfect fit.  I put Emily in a 0-3 month onesie after she did some business that soiled her bigger onesie, and it took some effort to force the snaps over her diaper, that’s how tight it was!  They will be 7 weeks old this Sunday.  Taking after their brother, obviously, as I remember he was wearing 9 month outfits at 9 weeks old!!  My big babies!

It’s taking some getting used to, but I’m getting a bit better at major multi-tasking.  I still have to get stuff done around here, not to the extent that I would normally have things, but I do have to ‘keep house’, especially considering how often we have guests these days, since everyone wants to visit the babies.  So I have to do everything I did when I only had one child, and I thought I was tired then!  HA!!  I also have to put the effort in to spend proper quality time with Andrew throughout the day when the babies are sleeping, because I find as soon as I make him a lesser priority, he starts to act out.  Which makes sense, but it’s also very frustrating and something I want to avoid.  Also, of course, I do WANT to spend quality time with Andrew, so it’s not just about ‘making an effort’ for his sake, it just takes effort in the sense that there is so much to do and so little time, and I’m finding myself working on ways to better prioritize things so that everything gets done.  Some days it makes me feel like I’m going to collapse by 8 in the morning, but today it seemed to go much smoother, despite the way I’m feeling with the bug I’ve got.

Andrew’s current obsession is playing the board game Sorry!  He LOVES it.  Wants to play it every chance he gets.  Usually we’ll oblige (when we can) and do a  round of 3 games throughout the day as a sort of ‘tournament’ and he’s happy with that.  He’s not too keen on losing at this point…we’re working on teaching him to be a good sport and play ‘for fun’ not just to win!  But it’s a lot of fun playing games as a family – the other night the babies were both asleep so James and Andrew asked me to join them for a round, and it took me back to growing up and having Friday night game nights with my family.  We had so much fun on those nights, and I loved thinking how now I’m doing that with MY family, and when the girls are older how fun will it be for us to have family game nights together?!  I love it.

TGIF (just about).  Or, rather – TGITW – thank gawd it’s the weekend!!!!!  We can take longer sleep shifts, or at least more of them, and maybe not be quite as zombie-fied.  Wouldn’t that be nice?!  My grandma’s coming over for the weekend, and we’re going to be visiting my bro and sil, so everyone will be holding babies and marvelling at how much they’ve grown in the past few weeks!

It’s challenging with two babies, because a lot of times they both need things at the same time – to be fed, to be burped, to be held.  But they’re such good babies, and relatively patient, I think!  And it hasn’t taken as much getting used to as I thought, figuring out who to help first or how to give them both ‘equal’ attention.  You just sort of do it, somehow, and it works!  They probably spit up more than they should because the tandem burping isn’t going so well now that they’re getting so much bigger!  But these are things I can work on!  It’s a lot of hard work but I already see the pay off of having twins.  I love them both so much.  And Andrew, while he has his moments these days for sure, is such a great big brother.  Today he was really helpful, and kept wanting to give his sisters kisses and just pat their heads or touch their cute little fingers.  I love watching him with them!  He wanted to hold them today so I put them on his lap for a picture and he said, ‘Ewwww, hurry up Mommy, get them off me, GET THEM OFF ME, THEY STIIIIIINK!’  Sure enough, someone needed a diaper change (I won’t mention names!)  LOL  One thing’s for sure, there is never a dull moment in this household these days!

Sunday, November 25, 2012

Getting with the times

Today I got a new phone – the iPhone 4S.  Yay, finally I’m getting with modern times!  My old cell phone served me well, but let’s put it this way – it could only store about 50 pictures at a time!  And extremely poor quality at that.  I’m excited to use a lot of the iPhone features, and just be up on more modern technology. 

It’s sooo expensive compared to my old phone plan though, WOW.  Because of that, we’ve decided to get rid of our land line.  Which I know will sound silly, but I’m kind of sad about.  It was James’ phone number when we lived in residence at SFU, so before we were even a couple.  When we decided to move in together, James let me choose whether we went with his phone number or mine for our new place.  I chose his because it had a better ring to it (no pun intended, Ha!)  It feels weird for some reason, to get rid of that number now.  At the same time, it’s $20 a month that we don’t really need to be spending for the sake of sentimentality.  It’s weird that we’ll have separate numbers only now, but obviously I need to get more with the times, because that’s the way of it!

I’ve suddenly realized that Christmas is looming…and I say ‘looming’ because it feels sort of like that.  On the one hand I’m excited about it – it’s the girls’ first Christmas, and Andrew is going to be more excited than ever this Christmas given his age.  But I’m tired enough as it is, and now I’m supposed to redecorate our place for the holidays, and go Christmas shopping?!  Aaaahhhh!!

To make things a little simpler, I plan to decorate a little more minimally than we usually would.  And we won’t be going crazy with Christmas presents this year, in part because I don’t have much time to shop given how awkward it is to shop with the kids, and because it’s crazy to spend money we don’t really have on gifts people don’t really want or need.  We’re not going Grinch or anything, but we’ve got to be more mindful, which I think is a better approach anyway.  Not quite so consumerist!  That being said, I’m excited about what we’ve decided to get Andrew for Xmas and birthday. 

It’s just hard to believe we’re a month away from Christmas, and 6 days later Andrew will turn 4.  Where does the time go?! 

Nursing vs pumping and other stories...

I wrote this yesterday...never really finished it, but I'll never have time to, so here it is anyway!

Right now Margaret and Emily are sleeping on Daddy’s chest (and he’s sleeping too, with Fifi sleeping on his feet!)  Andrew is watching a Curious George Christmas show…and I’m drinking some tea that’s meant to help boost breast milk production…Fun!  I don’t ‘need’ my supply to go up, but I figure it can’t hurt to drink the stuff anyway, just in case!

The nursing vs. pumping and bottle feeding is my only real ongoing ‘issue’ (sleep deprivation aside, since ultimately there’s nothing that can be done about that one!)  I’m nursing a lot more, so when I pump I’m not getting as much most of the time.  Which is fine…but isn’t when it comes time that I want someone else to feed the babies for me.  I need a stock of milk so other people can help me out, particularly James at night time…or if I want to go out anywhere to run errands, etc.  It’s so complicated, and I wish it didn’t have to be.  I think sometimes I’m just over-worrying, and it’s probably because I’m so tired – I can’t think as clearly as I would otherwise.  But I’m thinking of trying a new approach, where I only pump maybe 4 times in a 24 hr period, and see how that goes.  First thing in the morning, in between nursing around lunch time-ish, before bed, and maybe once through the night.  I normally pump more like 8-10 times per day, so I really want to scale that right back and see how it goes.  Of course, that means nursing a lot more, too, to make up for when I’d normally pump and bottle feed.  See – complicated!!!  But we’ll get there…I have to remind myself that I WANT to be nursing the babies, and the fact that they’re taking so well to it now is a good thing.  They are more and more turning up their noses at the bottle and latching on to me, which I notice calms them right down.  I tried pumping this morning at one point, and I was getting NOTHING from one side, but about 15 minutes later latched one of the babies onto that side (I already can’t remember which baby it was – LOL) and immediately could tell the baby was getting a ton of milk.  So I wonder if my body is telling me something – that pumping is artificial and I should be nursing the babies the natural way instead!

Today we took Andrew for a walk to the park, so the babies went for their first visit to this particular neighbourhood playground.  It felt so good to get out for some fresh air and exercise.  It feels like such a process to get everyone ready to go out, so sometimes I just don’t bother because I’m too tired to go through it all.  But when I do, and we’re out there, it feels great to be out of the house and getting a little change of scenery.

Which reminds me, James and I went and looked at a townhouse for rent the other night.  I had somewhat high hopes, it was available in January so a month before we actually want to move, but we could have done it anyway.  But we got there and the only way to the suite was by taking about 10 stairs, which obviously won’t work for me with the double stroller!  I also didn’t like the suite very much, so it all worked out for the best in that sense (it would have sucked if I’d fallen in love with the place but knew we couldn’t live there because of the lack of a ramp to get to it).  It actually made me stressed a bit looking at the place, because it made me realize how much I really do love our current place.  There’s so much about it that I don’t want to give up.  How private the yard area is, how quiet the surroundings are, the fireplace, the updated kitchen…I love it here so much.  We’re just outgrowing it, and fast.  The girls are going to be out of the bassinet in a matter of days, they’re too big to be in it together.  We will need a second crib in a couple of months for sure because they won’t fit in that together either for long!  We HAVE to move, I just feel so much pressure to find the right place because I want to stay in our next place for a long time.  I REALLY hope we can find a multi-level townhome with at least 3 bedrooms, a fireplace, and an enclosed yard space.  Is that so much to ask??!!!

James and I are both coming down with colds so that kind of sucks…But otherwise things are going well.  I’ve had lots of visitors the past little while, and though it can be tiring having people over sometimes, it’s been really nice having the company and people to chat with.

Monday, November 19, 2012

Loving our baby girls...and our boy, too!

 I wrote this yesterday but didn't get a chance to post it till now...

There are so many things I’m forgetting to document because by the time I get a chance to do anything, I don’t have the energy to write.  I need to work on that…I really want to keep a good record of everything like I did when Andrew was a newborn.  It’s so much more complicated with 3 kids, who knew?!!

Last night Andrew slept over at his Nana’s, which made the night a little easier for us.  We still worked in shifts, but since the girls were in sleep mode when Andrew would normally have us up in the morning, we were both able to get some sleep at that time.  James lucked out and ended up getting a better solid chunk of sleep than the usual these days, I more so got my new ‘normal’ totally broken sleep, but part of that is because of the logistics – mainly the fact that I have to pump milk even when the babies are asleep.

I’m VERY happy to say that tandem nursing is happening on a daily basis now, and several times a day!  Both Margaret AND Emily have a strong latch, I am officially DONE with the nipple shields, thank goodness.  I feel so good about our progress.  What it comes down to is the fact that the babies are getting so much bigger and stronger, so their latches are better.  I’m SO happy to be tandem nursing, even though it’s complicated, and I wonder how it will work when they’re bigger than they are now.  It’s just nice to be nursing them – sometimes I nurse one if just one is fussing for food.  I feel so much better about giving them ‘the boob’ rather than bottles, I can’t quite explain it.  It’s breast milk in the bottles too, but it just feels more natural, and what I was used to with Andrew.  I really feel like we’re making good progress.  Still a ways to go, no doubt about it, but the more I think about it…we’re only 5 weeks in (as of today!) so I’d say we’re doing pretty darn well, all considered!

This afternoon I was just marvelling at our little girls.  James had gone out to get a few things from the store and go for a bit of a bike ride, so it was just me and the little ladies.  I did a photo shoot of them in these ridiculous hats that my mil’s sister sent for them (they look very Dr. Seuss-eque!) and then I got them into little outfits and gave them some tummy time.  Then I was holding Margaret because she was a bit fussy, whereas Emily was happy to just lounge on her belly for a while, so I put some music on and had Margaret ‘dancing’ to the tunes.  She was actually pushing with her legs really hard as if to practice standing, which is ridiculous at 5 weeks old (one week adjusted age, although truthfully I don’t really want to do the whole ‘adjusted age’ thing, because I think it’s somewhat silly, personally).  I got a little video of her bobbing her head to a Missy Elliot song – LOL.  I’m having so much fun with our girls!

It helps that my sleep was slightly better last night, and not having to cater to the boy as well this morning (as much as I DO adore him and in some ways missed having him here!) meant more time to relax – so I was in better spirits.  I enjoyed just sitting on a blanket with the babies, watching them, singing to them, and enjoying cuddling them.  It’s so amazing having two little babies, I don’t know when I’ll ever stop thinking, ‘WOW, I have TWO babies!’ Well, I guess when they’re not babies anymore I’ll stop saying that, but really, they will always wow me…then again, so does Andrew, I can’t leave him out because I still marvel at his greatness on a daily basis, too =)

Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Amazing what a little sleep can do...

I can’t believe how fast our baby girls are growing!  I’m going to look into taking them to a clinic to get them weighed, because I’m really curious where they’re at.  I’m going to guess that Emily is upwards of 8lbs already, although I could be wrong…and I’d say Margaret is over 7, although she’s definitely not nearly as pudgy as her little sister!  Her cheeks have filled out, and they’re looking more alike with how chubby their faces are, but Margaret is definitely smaller (and has been since before birth!)

Last night I was feeling so positive and happy, and I’m glad to say that it stuck with me and I had a really good day today because of it.  Unfortunately Andrew decided to max out his trying of my patience, and things got a little hairy there for a while, but we went over to my mom’s and I found it helpful to have an extra pair of hands for baby holding, and different entertainment for the boy.  I ended up having a good nap while we were there – I took Margaret into the bed with me since she’s the quiet sleeper of the two, and when she fussed a little bit, I was easily able to latch her on for nursies and then we’d both go back to sleep.  It worked perfectly, and I think I slept for almost 2 whole hours!  It totally rejuvenated me, which was so good because in the early afternoon I was already so tired that I got the feeling I can only describe as my nervous system shutting down – that’s seriously what it feels like!  Not good at all. 

We picked James up at the skytrain after work and came home together, which was nice, and I quickly made some spaghetti, we ate, James and Andrew played a few games while James also fed the babies their bottles, and I had a shower.  Then we got Andrew ready for bed, I read him a few stories and tucked him in, and after getting the babies somewhat sorted, James went to bed at 9.  It totally SUCKS how early he has to go to bed in order for our sleep ‘shifts’ to even somewhat work for both of us.  I HATE IT.  I miss us spending time together in the evenings, I feel like some days we barely even get to talk much about our days.  We do make an effort to, but it just feels rushed and I wish we could have more quality time together.  BUT, it will happen with time, and I know our ‘routines’ will change as the babies decide to mix things up anyway!

I had energy tonight, so I got some laundry folded (oh gawd, the laundry, I am FOREVER doing laundry now it seems!), did a really good clean of the kitchen and rearranged things a bit to make better sense of where the bottles and accessories for bottles are kept, which I thought would make more sense closer to the sterilizer that I use 10,000 per day.  I also tidied up a couple of the kitchen drawers that were getting out of control messy.  I’ve been pretty good at keeping on top of most of the chore stuff around here despite the chaos of all the children we have now, but at the same time I make sure that the kids come first and not the chores, so I do let some things go that I would have been fairly uptight about before.  I remember my midwife with Andrew saying that he won’t stay a small baby for very long, so hold him and enjoy him and the other stuff won’t matter in the long run anyway.  I totally agree – while obviously stuff still has to get done, it’s not the top priority.  That said, it felt good to get some cleaning ‘therapy’ in tonight!

Emily is SO alert now, more today than ever.  She spent hours at my parents’ house alert this afternoon, and only slept for the ride home but then was awake again for several hours.  She loves to look around at everything.  Margaret does, too, you can tell she’s taking it all in when she chooses to, but she definitely sleeps more (and sleeps better) than her sister.

Tonight I had both girls propped up on the boomerang pillow, feeding Margaret a bottle and Emily was sleeping cuddled up beside her.  Margaret needed a burp, so I lifted her up and was holding her to my chest to burp her, and literally as soon as I’d moved her, Emily made this really upset face (while seemingly still asleep) and threw herself sideways to cuddle up to her sister again!  I swear it was on purpose, she knew what she was doing.  It didn’t make sense for her to be laying sideways to be close to Margaret’s legs, so I picked her up and put her beside her sister on my chest, and Emily put her arm around Margaret and held onto her, and instantly they were both asleep and seemed so content together.  I LOVE moments like that.  It’s absolutely incredible watching our twins together, I don’t think I’ll ever get over how amazing their bond has been since day one.

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