Tuesday, October 09, 2012

It can officially be fall now (but let's keep the sunny weather a while longer!)



Today we drove out to our source for firewood and loaded up the back of the van.  We didn’t really load up all that much, just enough to fill the smallish ‘trunk’ space of the van, but it’s all we can squeeze into our storage unit at a time.  Even though the weather isn’t cold enough for fires yet (although we had one tonight anyway because we just couldn’t resist, and oooh how I love the smell and comfort of it, I feel OK about it being fall now!), we wanted to get the wood before the babies arrive since we’ll be busy once they get here and getting firewood might not be a priority for a while!

Then we took Andrew to Queens Park for a little play time and picnic (thanks, Subway, I was ravenous!)  From there we stopped in on some friends in the neighbourhood and met their new little baby.  She’s about 6 weeks old now.  I was quite thrilled to hold her, even though holding a baby over my giant belly isn’t actually all that easy to do!  It made me long for our two girls to be on the outside.  I can hardly wait to hold them and give them kisses and cuddles.  Just a few more weeks, tops!!

Andrew was SO good with the baby, and it made me think how great he’s bound to be with his sisters.  Yes, I fully expect him to have a transition phase and inevitably some anger/sadness at how things are going to suddenly change, because the world isn’t going to revolve solely around him anymore, and I expect that to take some adjusting to.  But I don’t think it will take long for him to adjust.  He asked to hold the baby, and was so gentle and sweet with her, patting her head and kissing her fingers.  He grinned at her at one point and she immediately grinned right back!  It was SO cute.  He said to me, ‘She’s SOOO little!’ and I said, ‘Well, imagine 2 of her, and each one being half the size!’ because that’s what his sisters will be when they’re born!  I think the big ‘issue’ is going to be him getting used to how ‘boring’ babies are – he’s expecting they’ll want to play and do fun stuff and he commented a few times about the baby, ‘Why is she just sitting there moving around like that?!  Why is she just making those little noises?!  Why does she only have gums and no teeth?!’  LOL  I see Andrew as having been a baby himself only 2 seconds ago and yet he looks at a new little human as if he was never that small!

When we got home I was pretty exhausted – even though I hadn’t actually DONE much, outings tend to do me in (although it was SO nice to be out, I have to say!  And in such sunny weather, too).  So James and Andrew dealt with getting the firewood from the van to the storage (and apparently Andrew was super helpful, which is awesome) while I had a nap.  Then they went to the park…while I continued to nap.  I took Andrew over to my parents’ for a bit after dinner so James could have some quiet time since he really hasn’t had time to himself at all for a while, and I figured he could use a little bit of a break, too.  Luckily so far (knock on wood, I don’t want to jinx it) he doesn’t have the cold, so I’m hoping he’s not going to get it.  I’m ALMOST over it, probably another day or two and it will be completely gone, thank goodness.  Fingers crossed everyone around us stays healthy till waaay after the babies are born – no colds allowed!!

It was a ‘different’ Thanksgiving weekend, in that we didn’t actually celebrate Thanksgiving in the traditional sense at all.  But I preferred it that way.  It’s hard to believe that it was Thanksgiving Day last year when I went to the hospital because I’d started bleeding quite badly…and then the following day I lost our Baby#2.  I just didn’t want to celebrate the holiday this year, it felt like too much.  But I didn’t dwell on that at all this weekend, we did a lot of fun stuff and had good family visits that didn’t have to signify ‘Thanksgiving.’  I do have plenty to be thankful for, of course, but the lack of celebrating the holiday was healthiest for me this year.  It’s the 11th that I have to get through, because that’s the one year mark from the day of the loss.  We’re not quite there yet – I’ll deal with it the day of.  But I already know that as much as I WILL feel the sadness of the loss on that day, and will feel the need to reflect on what happened, the fact is I have 2 precious babies ready to be born at any time, so I can’t help but put the majority of the focus there.  And I couldn’t be more thankful for that!

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