Thursday, September 27, 2012

I wish I knew when and how this will all play out...



Every now and then the past several days at least I’ll get these ever so slight period-type cramps, but they only last for a few seconds.  It’s barely uncomfortable, but noticeable.  It freaks me out because I don’t want labour to be TOO imminent.  I reeeeally want to bake these babies a little while yet! 

It’s so hard to say what it is when I experience certain twitches and pains.  I usually figure it has got to be the stretching that’s taking place.  In the past 2 weeks tops I have ‘finally’ started to get new stretch marks, which means the belly is definitely stretching beyond its means now!  Before I just had my ‘old’ battle wounds from my pregnancy with Andrew, and those stretch marks are much lighter…I knew I was getting new ones when I was getting dressed recently and Andrew came up and started counting lines on my belly!  LOL  NICE.

I guess in part I’m paranoid – the OB said ‘these babies could ultimately come any time now!’ and I’ve taken that to heart.  However, I’m also trying to remind myself that she also said it’s quite likely they’ll stay in a while yet…The not knowing is just too much suspense for this person who isn’t the most spontaneous in the world!!

I’m also wondering if my water will break on its own this time.  With Andrew, it wasn’t till I was in active labour that my midwife eventually asked if I wanted it broken or if I wanted to just wait till it happened on its own.  Waiting meant a longer labour so I said go ahead and break em!  10 minutes later, Andrew was born, it totally led me to the pushing stage IMMEDIATELY.  So it seems weird to me that my waters could break before I even go into labour.  I wish labours were the same or very similar each time so I’d know ahead of time what to expect!  I know the intensity of the pain I can expect, but I don’t have a clue how it’s all going to start or really what the experience will be like.  I’m scared of how medicalized a twin birth experience tends to be, too.  And how far away we are from the hospital.  I’m trying not to be too worried because what will be will be, and ultimately the babies will be born one way or another!  It’s just hard not to let my mind go there, knowing the labour is looming close by…

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