Thursday, September 27, 2012

I miss this kid, can you really blame me?!




I’ve officially been away from Andrew longer than I ever have in his entire life.  And I’m not liking it one bit!

On Tuesday he went to his Nana’s for the day.  He was meant to come home that night with James after work, but he suddenly came down with a bad cold by early in the afternoon.  My mil suggested he spend the night at her place in hopes it would be a short bug and he’d be feeling better on Wednesday.  The idea being that I should avoid the germs, since getting a cold is really one of the last things I need right now.  I was a bit upset because as soon as I knew he wasn’t coming home I was missing him like crazy, but I agreed that it would probably be for the best.

Well, he still had the cold on Wednesday and it wasn’t really showing much sign of improvement.  He’s been in good spirits the whole time – he’s never really let a cold bother him in terms of energy level or his mood.  He breezes through, although generally speaking he does tend to infect those around him, particularly me!  I think he MAY have had one cold in his life that I didn’t end up getting, but otherwise I’ve always got what he gets (and it DOES affect my energy level and mood!!) because I can’t not continue being close to him when he’s sick, which means still giving him cuddles and kisses.

I was very reluctant about it, but I was urged by James and my mil to let him stay again last night because he might be better by today and therefore I’d be avoiding the germs.  I wanted him to come home last night, but I ok’d him staying on because of the logistics of today.  If he’d come home, I’d have been really run-down today, because I would have had him all on my own the whole day and evening, as James had a dinner obligation tonight, and my mom had an appointment this afternoon, so I would have had no help.  Sadly, it’s quite challenging for me at this point to not have any help whatsoever for the entire day, or at the very least if I’m on my own all day James tries to get home before 6:30 so I can have a rest if I need to after dinner.  So it made sense to let him stay again last night, even though I was missing him so much I wanted to cry.

The thing is, I’ve never been away from him longer than 2 nights in a row.  And while perhaps you might be thinking I’m too attached, given he’s over 3 ½ now, that’s just the way it is and I personally wouldn’t have it any other way!  The other thing is, I WOULD be ok with being away from him for longer than two nights IF IT WAS PLANNED OUT THAT WAY IN ADVANCE because then I’d have had the time to wrap my head around the fact that I wouldn’t be seeing him.  If, say, James and I were going on a vacation somewhere for a week and had planned for him to be with someone, well okay then, yes I’d DEFINITELY miss his presence, but it would be an easier adjustment because it had been planned.  This not being planned is killing me.

Because now it looks like I won’t be seeing my boy till SATURDAY.  Which means 4 nights, double the amount I’ve ever been apart from him before!  AND he’s had a cold the whole time, and as his mother I feel like I should be the one doting on him and making him feel cozy and loved and better.  I feel so bad not being there for him, even if he IS breezing through the cold, and really it’s just me missing him, I can’t help but feel like I’m the one who should be with him!

But again the logistics…the original plan had been for him to sleep over at the mil’s tomorrow night because James and I got tickets for a show that can’t be refunded, and that we REALLY want to go to because let’s face it, when will we have the opportunity again for quite some time once the twins arrive?!  So it didn’t make a whole lot of sense for him to come home tonight, and then go back to her place tomorrow for another sleepover.  It would probably confuse him and he’d be upset as to why he had to go back when he just got home, whereas this way, if he just stays on he’s not as fussy about it.

He seems to be OK with staying there, because the way the mil explained it to him was that we have to keep Mommy healthy for the babies’ sake, and he is such an empathetic little boy that he actually GETS that, and WANTS to do his part to keep Mommy and the babies well.  Which tears at my heart strings, because how sweet is that?!  I, on the other hand, feel like risking getting the cold even though I obviously don’t want one, because I want to see him that desperately.

I just talked to him and he sounded plugged up but happy enough…although he wants to come home tomorrow, so we’ll see what ends up happening.  It’s crazy how hard it is to be apart like this – it’s just the timing of it, I guess.  We don’t have much longer till the babies arrive, so my time with ‘just Andrew’ is so limited to begin with, and I’m spending all this time apart from him?!  It just doesn’t seem right.  Truthfully, at this point, Saturday morning when he comes home just can’t come soon enough!

No comments:



blogger template by lovebird