Life with 3...
I’m really excited about having twins. Now that I’m pregnant with two, I can’t imagine it any other way. When I read pregnancy stuff online and it’s geared toward a singleton, I feel sort of confused – where is the 2nd baby?! Like it just wouldn’t make sense to have only one, even though that’s the only experience I’ve ever had before!
There are so many things I love when I think about having twins. For a few, how close they’ll be, how cute it will be to take pictures of them together, how amazing it will be in the long run to have had 3 children even though I never in a million years would have chosen to.
But I also worry sometimes. I try not to let myself think about it too much because I know that nothing in the world can prepare you for having a second child, let alone a second and third within minutes of each other. So I try to take the approach of, ‘why sweat it when there’s nothing I can do but just wait and live it.’ Most of the time I’m able to achieve that. Which is probably why it bugs me, the comments people have when they hear we’re having twins.
Most people are very supportive. ‘How exciting, I’m so happy for you!’ But some people…not so much. ‘It’s going to be the worst first 3 years of your life, but after that it SHOULD get better, HAHAHAHAHAHA!’ (That was my mill – awesome). Or, ‘Twins? Ooh…well….umm…congratulations?’ There’s definitely an ‘I’m glad it’s you and not me’ vibe, and I get that, to an extent. I probably would have been that way too before I became pregnant with twins. Like I’ve said before, I never imagined having 3 kids, so having 2 at once to make it 3 just seems ever so slightly insane! BUT it IS my reality, so it makes sense to make the most of it, right? Not to mention, I’ve already bonded with the 2 babes growing in there. I did the second I saw them on the screen at 6 wks 2 days!
I’d be lying, though, if I said I never felt the least bit overwhelmed. I worry about how I’m going to manage. How am I going to breastfeed 2 babies around the clock AND spend time with Andrew? How am I going to have a proper amount of time to spend with Andrew, regardless of how much the babies are feeding? How am I going to carry around 2 babies at once? How will I manage taking 2 babies and a 3-4 year old out places on my own? Will I be able to cope emotionally? What if they’re terrible sleepers, I can’t imagine functioning on no sleep whatsoever and properly caring for 3 children. It was hard enough going through all those sleepless nights with just ONE!
I know it’s normal to worry about these things. Even if I was only having one more, I’d have similar concerns. But 2 makes it so much more complicated. The logistics of 3 kids to one parent (since James is at work most of the week)…it seems very overwhelming to me. There will be so many sweet moments, and those are the things I want to focus on, but it’s not going to be easy, and every now and then my mind drifts to those places where I worry about how I’m going to manage everything. Hopefully I’ll just be too busy to worry about thinking about it by the time I’m living it, so it won’t matter as much. I know I’ll make it work somehow, and we’ll get into a routine just like everyone does. It’s going to be exciting and wonderful, despite the challenges, and I know I need to just focus my energy on the good stuff.