Just over 19 weeks so far...

I listened to the babies heartbeats a little while ago on the Doppler.  So cute, they are!  They’re moving up, and I can tell they’re bigger just from how much more pronounced their heart beats are.  It’s so funny hearing them moving around when I listen on the Doppler.  It’s like they’re swiping at it or kicking it madly.  Right now I can feel a lot of movement and what feels like little kicks. 

After I wrote that paragraph, Andrew ran into the bedroom to get me.  He likes our routine of me getting him ready for bed and reading him stories.  (He had just finished about an hour of laughing hysterically playing games with his Daddy!)  Once I got him settled and sleeping soundly, I went back to lie down on our bed, and could really feel the babies moving around again.  James put his ear up to my belly but didn’t feel anything, so I told him to not be so gentle and put a bit of weight down on my belly.  A few seconds later, he felt an unmistakable hard jab.  I don’t know which baby it was, but somebody didn’t like being squished by Daddy!!  It was a sweet moment, because I’ll never ever forget the first time Andrew kicked James’ ear from in the womb.  It was like a drum beat to his head and I still think it was absolutely adorable.  (The only time being kicked in the head could seem ‘adorable’!)

Our next ultrasound is fast approaching – less than 2 weeks away.  I’m really excited about it, but also nervous.  We’ll (hopefully) be finding out the sexes.  Anyone want to bet what they’ll be?!  I’ve never understood it when some women say they just ‘know’ and their intuition proves to be correct.  Ultimately, I have no idea if I’ve got girls, boys, or one of each in there!  Yes, I’m hoping for one of each, but I know that doesn’t actually mean that’s what I’ve got!  We’ll just have to wait and see what the ultrasound tells us.  I’m just nervous about it…I’m not regretting finding out because I DO want to know – with twins, I feel like the more prepared, the better.  I loved the surprise element of NOT knowing with Andrew till he was born, but I feel like it’s different when there’s more than one.  I also will always regret not knowing what our Baby#2 was, so I just like the idea of finding out as soon as possible with these ones.  At the same time, for some reason telling everyone is causing me a lot of anxiety.  I can’t quite pinpoint why that is.  James said we don’t have to tell everyone right away if I don’t want to, but I know our families especially are going to be expecting to know ASAP.  And I understand their curiosity and excitement, too!  I also can’t imagine how we’d hide it once we know – we’d end up slipping up while talking to people and they’d know.  It makes sense to just tell people…Maybe I’ll just want a little bit of time to process it before we spill the beans?!  Who knows, it could be that as soon as I find out I’ll want to yell it out to the world!  I just don’t know.

In the meantime, as much as I still worry about the possibility of things going wrong, or having complications, I’m trying to just relax and feel happy and confident that everything is going well.  Being able to hear two strong heartbeats and movements helps a lot.  I still feel bouts of ‘overwhelmed’ but I’m so excited at the same time.

Today I showed Andrew a calendar so I could help him better conceptualize how much time is left before the babies will be here.  I know he’s young and so he can’t totally understand it, and there’s NO WAY he can truly understand what it’s going to mean to suddenly be a big brother to two baby siblings.  But we want to work on him understanding it as much as possible before they’re here, so it’s not as much of a shock to him (although it’s still going to be a major shock, for all of us, but especially for him).  He’s pretty excited about being a big brother I think.  He has the Mercer Mayer book ‘The New Baby’ where they introduce a baby sister to the little boy, and the last few pages explain that the little boy’s friends think he’s so lucky to have a little sister.  Tonight we read it together (Andrew can practically ‘read’ the whole thing himself!)  After we read the last page he said, ‘I’m going to be EXTRA lucky when the babies come!’ and I asked him why.  He replied, ‘Because I get TWO babies, not just ONE!’  Awww, how sweet is that =)


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