Monday, June 11, 2012

18 weeks and totally exhausted?!!


I’m starting to worry about my already-inability to do much, knowing it’s only going to get more and more severe as the weeks go by.  I feel like I didn’t do that much today, not compared to what I’m used to, but I was so pooped by mid-afternoon that I started feeling sick.  And not just normal pregnancy nausea, but sick as in I’m-soooo-tired-I’m-going-to-collapse kind of sick.  Unfortunately, I can’t just sleep when I’m tired like I could when I was pregnant with Andrew!

This morning I took the van back to the dealership to FINALLY get a new stereo installed.  The stereo stopped working within a few hours of us purchasing the van, so we were told they’d replace it without charge since obviously it wasn’t something we’d done.  Well, it has been well over a month and it was like pulling teeth trying to organize a time with them to do it.  I would show up when they’d tell me to, but no one would be there who could fix it, then our phone calls weren’t returned for days and days, and so on.  It was getting pretty annoying, but I think our persistence led them to finally just get it over with!  I think they may have hoped we’d just forget about it, but that wasn’t going to happen!

After that I picked Andrew up from my mom’s (I didn’t think he’d do well waiting at the dealership with me) and we came home, got a few snacks and things prepared, and went to Hume Park.  We only ran around at the park for about 20-30 minutes before Andrew was ready to leave.  He associates going to Hume Park with getting ice cream, and I realized today that as much as he does love the playground, I think he gets extra excited about that park because of the ice cream, not the park itself!  The thing is, DQ is expensive, and it didn’t sit well with me, the idea that EVERY TIME we go there we have to stop off at DQ on the way home (and it’s not even really ‘on the way’ home either!)

We needed some things from the grocery store so I told Andrew instead of DQ, we’d compromise and get ice cream – of his choice – at Safeway instead.  He was fine with that, and it made me happy because it was the same price as if we got one thing to share at DQ, for a huge tub of ice cream!  Still, we can’t be doing THAT every time we go to Hume Park either!!

So we did a Safeway shop, then came home, and I was able to load all the bags of groceries on Andrew’s stroller, which was in the back of the van luckily.  I can’t do any heavy lifting – even carrying Andrew, I find I can really only carry him a VERY short distance but I don’t even think I should really be doing that.

By the time I got everything put away, and turned over the laundry I’d started in the morning, and got Andrew settled with his ice cream  and a drink, I was totally wiped.  The problem is, he was wanting to nap too, but it was too late in the day by then to let him unless I wanted him to be up till super late at night.  It’s a catch 22!  So I suffered through doing everything I could to prevent him from falling asleep, even though all I wanted to do was fall asleep, too!  Finally James came home for dinner and as soon as we’d eaten, I went to bed.  I even had to take a Tylenol because I’d started getting a headache and just felt wretched in general.  James kindly took Andrew on a bike ride to the park so I slept for a solid hour before they came home and it was time to get the boy ready for bed.  Our usual routine is that once he’s ready for bed, I lay down with him on the couch till he falls asleep.  Sometimes we’ll read books or I’ll make up stories, other times (when I’m too zonked to do those things, or we’ve already done them), I just lay there with him and he plays with my hair (still his security blanket!) till he falls asleep.  I warned him a while back that eventually there would come a time when Mommy wouldn’t be able to lay beside him on the couch because my belly would be too big and uncomfortable.  Well, the time seems to have come.  Last night he actually asked me to MOVE because I was ‘taking up too much space that was his’ LOL…and tonight I leaned toward him when he was laying down and said, ‘How about I just do this instead of lay beside you?’ and he said, ‘Well I can’t fall asleep with you laying on me!’  LOL  It was absolutely PRICELESS the way he said it, James and I were laughing for a while after that one!

I guess I’m just shocked by how early on I’ve become incapable of doing much.  It’s true I don’t tend to include household stuff in things that could be making me tired – yes, we  ‘only’ went to the park for half an hour, and did a relatively quick grocery shop, but I also did 3 loads of laundry, vacuumed the house, cleaned the kitchen, etc in the morning.  I guess I have to remember that those things are physically exerting.  Still, though!  It’s crazy, I’m only 18 weeks along!  One telltale sign that things have progressed waaaay faster this time along, though, is that I was borderline struggling to paint my toenails the other day.  When I was pregnant with Andrew, it wasn’t even a week till he was born and I was painting my toenails with relative ease.  I remember being surprised at how easily I could still reach my toes, despite already being over due.  Now I’m at the half way mark for twins, and I’m already struggling!

My concern is with how little I’m going to be able to do.  I honestly don’t think I can do the park AND a grocery shop, let alone any chores whatsoever, all in the same day.  I feel like I’m 90 and I can only do one thing a day!  I need to do things now while I still can, but then there’s part of me that’s whispering, ‘Face it, you already can’t!’  I’m already bored of being cooped up in the house all the time, I want to get out and get fresh air and do things and have adventures with the boy, since this is our last summer ever as just us.  But what will I even be able to do?  It’s a bit frustrating, but I know I can’t push myself too hard.  I sort of did today, and now I’m paying for it.

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