More ultrasound stress stuff...

My upcoming Nuchal Translucency u/s is stressing me out so badly that I’m seriously considering not doing it.  I did a lot more research on it just now, and the risks of false positives are too much for me.  I’ve read too many stories of people being told their risk was relatively HIGH, even, and then when the baby was born, they were completely healthy.  The level of stress it would give me to think one or both babies might have something wrong is too much for me, just the thought is too much.  And ultimately I would NOT, no way, no how, be willing to do an amniocentesis to be sure if the risks were higher, because there’s a risk of miscarriage associated with that.  There is NO WAY I would do ANYTHING that would put me at risk of miscarriage.  NO WAY.  So what’s the point of getting some information that I wouldn’t be able to confirm till the birth anyway?

I’ve also found mixed results on the blood tests involved in testing for Down’s Syndrome, Trisomy 18, and open neural tube defects (all of which the blood work, combined with the NT u/s, are meant to predict the outcome of).  According to much of the literature, the blood work doesn’t work in cases of multiples.  Yet my OB’s office is suggesting I have it done.  I feel weirded out by the conflicting information.

I just wish I had someone who could advocate FOR me, because I think I’m feeling sort of abused by the system after what happened with my miscarriage last fall.  The way I was treated, the way everything was handled – when I wrote the complaint to the hospital, I heard from 2 separate people at Fraser Health who both said that I should have been given different treatment, that it shouldn’t have happened the way it did.  I had other health care practitioners confirm those thoughts.  So it’s not just me being paranoid that it’s easy to get lost in the system, or mistreated.  I’m not paranoid in the sense of thinking they’re out to get me, or doing it on purpose, I just mean this in the sense that it’s how it is.  As it was, when I was talking to the receptionist at the OB’s office the other day, she said to me, ‘This is your first pregnancy, right?’  That right there tells me she’s not reeeally looking at my file.  Because if she was, she’d know the only time I’ve EVER had an appointment with them before was following a miscarriage.

I’m going to call back on Monday and request no NT ultrasound, but beg if I have to to get a general ultrasound just to check if the babies are growing as they’re meant to, for peace of mind sake.  I’ve asked on multiples message boards how often women tend to be getting u/s’s done with their twin pregnancies, and EVERYONE who responded said more times than I have already!  So why shouldn’t I be able to request one after having had a loss not that long ago??  I just don’t understand why this is happening to me, why it is feeling so difficult to get my point across.  Maybe I need to be more firm, and remind the receptionist that I suffered a loss, and NEED this reassurance, because as calm as I am trying to remain, this is really stressing me out, and I KNOW stress isn’t good for the babies.  I’m even starting to have dreams where I’m worried that something’s going wrong, because I need to see those babies so badly!  And it’s not like there’s the argument that it’s costing for me to have an u/s, when I would have been having one anyway, just one that tests for a particular thing.  So why should it matter?

I just wish I already had a midwife, or SOMEONE who could speak out for me so I didn’t have to keep going through this, making those calls that feel so hard for me to do.  I don’t WANT to have to explain myself and why I feel it’s necessary not to do one test, but TO do another…


tristadawn said…
would you guys consider a doula? there ought to be some awesome ones in your area! especially familiar with twin pregnancies etc. check it out. I can do some searching too if you would like!
Elizabeth said…
I'm definitely thinking about it. I'll probably decide after meeting with the midwife, because I think it depends on how much I feel they'll be able to do for me, and whether or not I feel the extra support is necessary. I'd rather not have to pay if possible, which is why a midwife appeals to me over a doula...but on the other hand, if it's the case that my OB won't allow the midwife to be by my side during delivery, it might be more beneficial to have a doula, since I think they would be allowed there? I'm not sure how it all works. It's a bit nerve-wracking with a twin pregnancy, because I feel like doctors REALLY want to push medical interventions, when I don't think it's actually necessary...I definitely need someone advocating for me in that situation, because I'd hate to be pushed into doing something invasive that really doesn't need to go that route. We'll see, I think I'll have a bit clearer idea of what I want/need after I've met with everyone in a few weeks! Will definitely keep you posted!

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