I'm siiiiiiiiiiiiiiick.

OK, the sickness is really getting to me.  I’m pretty sure it WAS like this when I was pregnant with Andrew…but I don’t remember feeling nauseous literally 24/7, I’m pretty sure there were at least some hours in the day where it went away??!  Or am I just forgetting how truly bad it was?  I should look back on my archives to find out if I wrote about it.

I just wish I could know when/if it will ease up.  It’s soooo debilitating.  When I was pregnant with Andrew, maybe it didn’t seem AS severe because I could just get into bed whenever I needed to.  I was working full time from home, so I had the ‘luxury’ of working when I could, as long as I got my 8 hours in per day it didn’t matter when it happened.  I remember staying up through the night quite a bit because I tended to not feel as bad in the wee hours.  Whereas this time around…Morning – sick…Afternoon – sick…Evening – sick…Through the night – sick.  Any time in between?  Probably sick then, too.

Late last night, just to add insult to injury, I came down with a really bad headache that I hoped I could sleep off but when I woke up in the morning it was still there.  So there I am, getting Andrew settled with his shows and him telling me, ‘I have a good e-dea (idea)!  You can make me pancakes for breakfast!  I’m hungy!’  I’d already told him I had a splitting headache, and he added, ‘Ooooh, Mommy, I’ve got a headache.  But pancakes will help!’  LOL  He’s a little hypochondriac!  So I agreed to make the pancakes on the condition that I could go throw up a few times first.  It’s our usual morning banter these days.  Whatever he needs, I’ll do it, but I should probably hurl first and get that out of the way.

I somehow managed to make the pancakes despite the headache, fed him and forced myself to eat a pancake just to have something on my stomach.  Because I knew the inevitable had to happen – I had to take a Tylenol =(  My doctor said it’s OK to take if I get a bad headache, because ultimately I’m doing worse stress-wise to my body if I just tough out a headache all day, than to just take a Tylenol and hopefully cure it.  But at the same time, his advice was best to avoid taking anything in the first trimester where possible.  Well, I weighed the pros and cons and decided to take the pill.  Which ended up being a good thing, because the headache was gone within a few hours tops. 

I was so desperate between the headache and the sickness that I told Andrew I HAD to go back to bed.  He was pretty understanding, I told him I just had to take care of my head for a while because I wasn’t feeling well at all.  Usually he won’t let me get into bed once he’s decided we’re supposed to be up for the day.  But he just came in every so often to tell me funny things that were happening on his shows, and I would reply something that satisfied him, and off he’d go again.  I slept off and on for close to 2 hours.

I’m not sure what people think of leaving a 3 year old to their own devices like that, but I guess this is a time where living in such a small space has its advantages.  And Andrew is pretty trustworthy – he doesn’t tend to go into cupboards, drawers, or the fridge on his own (yet!) and is fairly predictable in what he gets up to, so I wasn’t really worried.  It’s not something I’d do as a habit, but man oh man was I ever out of it and in desperate need of more rest.  So thankfully my boy was supportive today and it definitely did help.  I was still very sick all day (I didn’t stop throwing up till dinner time, and probably will again before going to bed) but at least the headache went away.

It’s just so hard to be productive.  It’s all I can do just to empty the dishwasher, let alone do other cleaning that needs done.  Making dinner is the worst part of the day.  I feel like I should be making meals because it’s what I’m used to doing, and I don’t like James working all day and coming home and having to cook and clean and take care of Andrew because I’m too poorly.  I managed to make supper, but couldn’t eat it, and after James and Andrew finished eating I ended up going to bed till after Andrew was already out for the night.  It was great to get that rest, but I of course woke up feeling violently ill.

I have the day to rest tomorrow – thank goodness for people helping out or I don’t know what I’d do.  I just want Andrew to be getting more activities in during the day, and not being cooped up at home with sickie me.  We read some books, and made some cookies together in the afternoon, and we obviously chatted a lot throughout the day.  We interact – he’s not JUST watching tv.  But with how sick I’ve been, he’s been watching more than I’d like him to, and I wish I knew when that will change, because I’m not enjoying the pattern.  It’s just so hard to find the get up and go that I need when all I want to do is crawl under the covers…or to the toilet!

Please, please, please let things ease up soon.  I love thinking that the babies must really be thriving for me to be this sick, but seriously, does it have to be THIS bad?!


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