Thursday, March 15, 2012

It's time for a change


I feel like my blog isn’t going where I want it to anymore. 

The problem is, I’m not entirely sure which direction to take it. 

I don’t want to stop using it for all the things I currently use it for.  I like keeping track of cute Andrew-isms, and records of some of our daily activities.  I want to document this pregnancy so I can look back on it the same way I can look back on my pregnancy with Andrew.  I’m glad I wrote so in-depth about my miscarriage, even though that stuff is hard to go back and read about, because I know people have looked at some of those posts as a resource when seeking information about miscarriage, and if I can help anyone through their own experience, well that helps me, too.  I don’t regret any of the things I’ve written about on here, because I’ve needed a place to write down those thoughts, and this was always the best place.  I find blog archives to be an invaluable resource when it comes to looking back on where you might have been or what you were thinking at a given time.  Yes, I could just keep my journal totally private, and I’ve thought of privatizing my blog and only allowing a few select people to read it.  But I like leaving it open because, like I said, some posts are there in the hopes that others might benefit from reading them.  Or, and I know this might sound morbid but, what if something were to happen to me?  I’d rather be gone knowing that my words were at least out there, and not just lost on my computer somewhere.  It might as well be here on the blog!

That being said, I feel like some changes need to take place.  I think I want there to be more structure to it maybe, have more focus.  I need to still do my chaotic journal posts about something yet nothing, but I’d also like to have some regular ‘other things’ that I post about.  That could include recipes that tend to be on repeat in our household, or crafts I’ve been working on, or ideas I have about things I want to accomplish in the near-ish future.  Ultimately I think it’d be cool to have my blog in sections (Family in general, Andrew, Pregnancy, Random Thoughts, Recipes, etc etc) – but how easy/hard would it be to get it to that state?  James could totally help me with it, but is it worth restructuring my whole blog for that?  I don’t even know at this point.  I just don’t know!!

Part of my problem is extreme exhaustion, in part from the pregnancy itself but I think largely because of the Diclectin I’m now taking at the full dose of 4 pills per day.  I know from experience that within a few weeks tops, my body will adjust and I won’t feel the level of tired from it that I’m feeling now.   I’m just waiting for that to happen.  For the time being, I’m zombiefied.  And nauseous, pretty much all the time.  With vomiting intermixed.  And now I feel a headache coming on.  Fun!!  It tells me my pregnancy is going just as it should, but it’s challenging when it comes to properly looking after Andrew, getting every day chores done, and, well, basically just functioning to what I’d consider even a semi-normal level!

I know it won’t last forever, and I am definitely keeping focused on the prize at the end of all of this.  I’m excited, and am wishing away the next several weeks so we’ll be past the 11 week mark that scares me so much after what happened last time.  I can’t wait till we can tell Andrew, and really start telling everyone!  I think we might tell my brother and sil and aunt and uncle this weekend, since we’re having a birthday party for my dad, who turned 60 yesterday.  I need to tell people!  Plus I’m sick and lethargic and bloated…AND won’t be able to drink alcohol…so people will probably be able to figure it out without me having to tell them!

Anyway…I’m working on inspiration for blog changes.  As soon as I’ve got some energy back…


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