Friday, February 17, 2012

It's time :(

I knew we couldn’t leave Moorka at the shelter the moment James picked her up in his arms.  She turned into this ball of fluff when he held her and I just knew she belonged with us.  When James put her down, she ran up a ramp into a little loft area, and just sat there staring at us, her beautiful green eyes burning into mine.  We were told she was borderline feral, and hadn’t lasted a week in her last foster home.  We knew it was a risk taking her in, given she was high needs, so we weren’t sure if we should be taking that on or not.  James found Fiona (at the time her name was ‘Benzie, because of her bent tail) and we both agreed she seemed very affectionate, which was what we were hoping for in a cat.  So we decided to adopt her instead…but I kept going back to Moorka, and I said I didn’t want to leave without her.  We couldn’t afford to buy two cats (they were $100 each) so it was suggested we foster her, and decide later on if she was a right fit.  I knew in my heart the moment we took her home that she was never going back to that shelter.

Over the past 7 years since we brought them home, Fifi’s personality has stayed the same, as I believe she was always an outgoing, happy-go-lucky sort of girl.  Moorka, on the other hand, changed in so many ways.  For a while she was apprehensive, and sometimes swiped at us.  She’d had a tough life before she came to be ours.  She was found in an empty storage unit with a litter of kittens.  She went to several houses before she found her way to us.  But we were patient with her, and we did our best to provide her with love, care, and we made sure she never felt abandoned by us.  In the past several years, she became so at ease with us that she began coming up to us for love and attention on a regular basis.  After a trip to the groomer to get the Lion’s Cut, she discovered her love of water, and from there on in always sat in the bathroom with whoever was in the bathtub, hoping to get some water poured over her head and back. 

Moorka was – and is – such a special cat.  She just has this charm about her.  And the softest, most beautiful coat I’ve ever seen.  She was always a good girl, never did anything to get into mischief.  She was quiet, but with a large presence.  I’ve enjoyed just knowing she’s there, and with being a stay-at-home mom I’ve gotten so used to her little routines each day.

It’s hard to believe that Moorka will no longer be with us as of this afternoon.  I still feel like this isn’t really happening.  I want to stay in denial as long as I can.  She started on a rapid decline last night, and is having trouble breathing, can’t eat or drink or use the litter box.  She has finally ventured off Andrew’s bed after peeing all over it, and has moved from one blanket to another in the living room, struggling to get comfortable.  She let’s out a little noise every now and then that makes my heart hurt.  I know it’s time, and I know we’re making the right decision, but I just don’t know how it’s going to be around here without our Big Russian Girl (one of her nicknames, since ‘Moorka’ is Russian for ‘mother’).

This is so hard, but it’s time for us to say our goodbyes.

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