No further ahead
When I saw the doctor’s number come up on call display this morning, I thought, OK, this is GOOD, they are getting in touch about my appointments!
After my doctor’s appointment 2 weeks ago, I was expecting 3 things: a follow-up appointment with the doc to go over my ultrasound results from when I lost the baby, an appointment with a gynaecologist, and an appointment with a counsellor.
The receptionist (who is new, and I’m hoping temporary since I like the regular one better – just sayin’) said that she was calling with regards to the gynaecologist appointment I need. She said she was specifically looking for me to go to someone in New West. I asked why, because I live in Burnaby…I said, New West is fine, it just seems weird you’re specifically looking there – what’s the reason?! She said it was written down by the doctor to look in New West. Okkkaaaaay. That should have been my first red flag. Although the red flag was definitely raised when she said, ‘You’re looking at a 6-7 month waiting list, will that work for you?’
WHAT THE FUCK???!!!
I said, ‘No, actually that WON’T work for me! I was told I should get checked out as soon as possible?!’
For Chrissakes, the doctor gave us the go ahead to start trying to get pregnant again basically RIGHT AWAY – if I wait 6-7 months to even SEE the gyno, what’s the point of even bothering?! I don’t get it…
Anyway, she said, Oh, OK, I’ll look elsewhere then. I said several times to get the point across that I am fine with Vancouver or any surrounding area, I can get to a clinic regardless of the city it’s in if it’s in the lower mainland!
From there I figured she’d go into the other appointments, but she was actually about to hang up. I said I had a few other questions…Did my ultrasound results come in yet? She paused for a minute to look I guess, and then said, ‘Was it pelvic?’
‘Yes, it was.’
She said, ‘Yes, it’s here.’
Okkkkaaaaay. ‘Could I please make an appointment to go over the results with the doctor?’
Well the soonest I can get in is a week from this Thursday, on the 17th. That seems a long time to wait given it has already been a month (tomorrow) since my miscarriage. But OK, I’ll take it – what else can I do, right?
Then I said, ‘And what about the counselling appointment?’
At this point I gather she wasn’t even listening to me, because she said, ‘Yes, OK, see you next week then!’
‘Yes, but what about the counselling appointment? The doctor was supposed to be referring me to see a counsellor?’
‘I don’t see anything about that here at all.’
Then she said, ‘Why don’t you call back next week some time and we can try to figure that out?’
I said, ‘Well, I had a miscarriage a few weeks ago and I’ve been really depressed ever since…The doctor said I should talk to someone right away and said he would refer me to a counsellor…so…I’d really prefer to deal with it right away rather than wait another week to even discuss it.’
‘Oh…Well, I’ll ask the doctor about it.’
I didn’t actually hear an, ‘I’ll call you back about that’ or anything along those lines….That was pretty much just the end of the conversation.
You can probably gather that I am NOT IMPRESSED with the total lack of care happening here, to say the very least. My doctor is down a few notches for me now, because it just goes to show that he’s awesome at talking the talk, but walking the walk? Yeah, not so much. I felt SO SAD after I got off the phone because I felt like I’d been totally forgotten and left to just fend for myself when I thought I was being cared for in some way. I thought the doctor actually WANTED me to get help, but after this phone call I felt like an idiot for believing that for even a second.
For the past two weeks I’ve been a ball of stress, traumatized constantly by the image of my dead baby, not able to move away from the pain of the loss. My doctor KNEW THIS 2 weeks ago, and then let me fall between the cracks of the system. That angers me and makes me feel sad and insignificant. And MAD.
My plan was to call back tomorrow to get some answers as to when the appointment will be – obviously I have to hound them in order to get anything to actually HAPPEN. (I did ask if I could find someone myself and then get the doctor to refer me if that would be faster and easier for them, but she ‘didn’t know’ so I got nowhere with that idea). But I have since decided that I don’t feel up to dealing with the stress of it, so James is going to call on my behalf and hopefully get things sorted out. He wasn’t impressed either with how I’ve been treated. It’s just not good enough!
So I feel like I’m back at square one. I know! - If I go to the gynaecologist in half a year, maybe they’d be able to fit me in for a counselling session in a year?! Yeah, there we go, on the one year anniversary of losing the baby, I’ll get to talk to someone about it. That’s how totally awesome our health care system is.