Writing it all down

First of all, I can’t BELIEVE it is already October 1st.  Time goes by at a scarily fast pace.  It actually DOES freak me out just a little bit how quickly time goes by.

Anyway, Andrew just woke up ‘for the first time of the night’ – it’d be an awesome night if I could go to bed now and not be woken at least one, probably 2 more times before telling James it’s his turn!  (Essentially when it’s morning and he’d be getting up for the day).  But that’s not likely to happen…it’s more likely to be one of the latter scenarios (up one or two, hopefully not three, more times…) (all the more reason for why I should be going to bed RIGHT NOW, not writing this, I know, I know)…

Anyway, it just so happened that when he got up, I was looking back on some of my archives from when I was about the same amount pregnant with him as I am now with his little brother or sister.  Oh yeah, I’m not saying this name is going to stick because it’s a tad ridiculous, but because the baby has been growing at a crazy fast rate inside me these past few weeks, I’ve been referring to him or her as ‘Biggie Smalls.’  LOL

Anyhoo, I happened to be staring at Andrew’s first ultrasound photo at the moment he got up on the couch beside me.  Since he was ‘hungy,’ I went to get him some mandarin slices and a bit of yogurt, and so I talked to him a little bit while he ate.  I showed him the picture and said that in about a week’s time, that is what his little brother or sister will look like in my belly.  Well, sort of like that, not exactly the same, since of course they are two different people.  He thought it was pretty neat, I think he really was able to conceptualize that there is a baby in my belly that looks about like what that picture of him did at that time.  I love coming up with new ways to get him excited about the baby, to make it more real for him, so I kept talking about it.

I told him that in a couple of weeks we’re scheduled to go for an ultrasound to see the baby that’s growing in my belly now, and we’ll get a picture of him or her at that appointment.  His eyes lit up for a moment, and I said, ‘Maybe you could have a picture of your brother or sister up in your bedroom!’ and he really liked that idea!  How cute.  I am loving getting him on board with the idea of a sibling being a good thing.  And helping him understand more what ‘pregnancy’ means – although he obviously doesn’t TOTALLY get it because he got REALLY upset with me the other day when he was adamant that HE was going to have a baby in HIS belly one day and I told him that’s not possible…LOL 

I am definitely BIG TIME feeling the crazy tiredness I felt in the first trimester of my last pregnancy.  So tired I almost feel winded at times just getting up to go from one room to the other.  It’s ridiculous.  I have to keep on plugging along since obviously I have Andrew to tend to, but wow, it’s pretty exhausting being me right now, and I’m not even necessarily doing anything!  That’s the really annoying part.  Even with the extra sleep through the days I’ve been getting for most of the days this week, it hasn’t made me feel the least bit rested.  The tiredness is killer.  But I am less sick at this point than I was in my first pregnancy.  I still feel nauseous here and there and have definitely thrown up, but by this point I had been throwing up 5-6 times PER DAY already on a regular basis my first time around.  Mind you, I started the Diclectin about 4 weeks or so later than I did this time (although there are days here and there were I take none, or just one or two of the 4 I can take per day).  So I think that probably does factor into it.  Still, even with the pills the first time around I would still throw up 1-2 times per day for much of my pregnancy, having days here and there where I was ‘fine’ with no actual sickness.  Whereas right now I find I do go longer stretches without getting sick, and the nausea I feel is often quite slight.  I don’t know if it’s because of the pills, or because I HAVE to focus on Andrew maybe it helps sometimes to take my mind of the sick I would otherwise feel if I had time to dwell, or if truly one pregnancy can be really different from the next.

I have to be honest, so far I really feel like MOST things have felt relatively the same.  While I forgot, over time, a lot of the ‘feelings’ I’m getting now, such as uterine cramping just from getting up from sitting sometimes, or slight twingy pains at times, or just general uncomfortableness due to the uterus stretching.  Not necessarily painful or awful or anything, just noticeable things that are going on!  Like I said, the tiredness is the same (I can’t wait for it to taper, at least for a while!) 

Pregnancy is a wild ride, it’s quite interesting because while parts of it can be painful or uncomfortable, there’s also this ‘magical’ aspect to it, the excitement of knowing you’re growing a baby.  When you’re just ‘sick’ but not pregnant, it sucks because you don’t feel well but you’re just hoping to start feeling better…Whereas with pregnancy you might not always feel well, but you’ve got this amazing prize that you’re working toward, so it seems more OK.  That being said, I did hear myself saying aloud to James tonight, ‘I feel sorry for myself!’  I think sometimes it’s easy to get caught up in the uncomfortableness, or the moments where because of hormones you might feel slightly down in the dumps, even though ultimately nothing should really be wrong.  It passes, it’s not that big a deal, but sometimes you’re just like, ‘Dang, I’m uncomfortable now, and I KNOW what’s to come in the later months…I shouldn’t be complaining already!’  It IS a lot to take on, but it’s also so amazing and wonderful.  And knowing that I plan on never doing this again, I want to enjoy as much of it all as possible, since I won’t have these moments again in the future where I think, ‘Oh yeah, I’d forgotten what that felt like’ or what have you.

I’ve been feeling lately like maybe my blog is boring for people to read.  I tend to go on about so many little details about Andrew or our days and just our lives in general – which are great to us, but certainly not too high on the ‘excitement’ meter for others.  Sometimes I feel like I’m being too open, because I’m actually a very private person who probably wouldn’t share quite like this if I were face to face with everyone who reads my blog!  Not that I wouldn’t share anything, but I tend not to be a person who talks a lot about myself ‘in real life.’  But I’m not going to apologize for the things I choose to write about, because going back on entries tonight from 3+ years ago made me really happy to have written all that I have.  For me more than anyone else, although of course if you’re a regular reader I’m really happy to capture your attention with the ‘little life I lead’!  I just find it’s so important to me to have the little things that matter to me, or happen to be on my mind at a given time, recorded for the future.  It’s so nice when I wonder what happened at such n’ such a time, I can look back and reflect, rather than not have a clue because of course over time even the stuff we’re positive we’ll always remember we tend to get hazy with.  So I can look back and have my memory twigged.  It’s a pretty cool thing, and I’m glad I’ve kept it up.


Lojo said…
Biggie Small! LOL. LOVE IT. By far my favorite bun-in-the-oven name I've heard thus far!

I'm glad this pregnancy is going a little easier on you in regards to the physical effects. And I always enjoy reading the daily happenings in your world. I've become emotionally invested in your blog ;) As you pointed out, it's also a great method of personal documentation in regards to this stage of your life and your family's life.
Smelly Danielly said…
I had a conversation with a friend last night that writing something personal on a blog is a lot easier than sharing that personal thing face to face with someone.

I love reading you blog and I love that you write such personal things about your family. I learn from your blog and that's probably one of the things I love the most! As someone who will one day be a Mom it's great to read a blog by a Mom!
Elizabeth said…
Thanks Lojo, I appreciate that you enjoy my blog, just as I love yours! XOXO
Elizabeth said…
Hey Smelly, we posted comments at the exact same minute! lol weird!

I'm glad you enjoy my blog and feel you're learning stuff from it! I don't often think about how my little daily rants might actually have some useful information hidden in there :D

And you know I love your blog too!

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