Friday, October 21, 2011

Pictures from before

 I just unloaded some pictures from my camera.  I haven't really used my camera at all since 'it' happened.  I found it a little difficult to look through my pictures from about a week before my miscarriage, because it made me think about how differently I feel about so many things now, things I had no idea about when these pictures were taken.  As well, I discovered I'd taken a few pictures of myself with my pregnant belly that I'd forgotten about.  It made me sad looking at them, but strangely comforted too.

First, some pictures from our outing to Hume Park in New West on the Saturday of Thanksgiving long weekend. 



And our Halloween cookie making project that was meant for closer to Halloween, but of course as soon as Andrew saw the kit he wanted to open it!
Holding up his first decorated pumpkin cookie...
And I thought I might as well include them...Pictures of me taken a few days before my miscarriage.  Little did I know what was about to happen...Here I am, so happy and excited about my babe.  I wish I could go back in time and be in this place again, only with a much different outcome from where I'm at now...

Look how big I was already!  My little baby was in there, no mistaking it...

So hard to believe that it's over, when it feels like it had just begun.  I miss that belly now.  But even though it's a weird thing to see these pictures after the fact, I'm comforted by the fact that this is proof - forever - of my sweet little baby's existence.  Unfortunately it's all I've got, but at least it's something.

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