Having had so little sleep last night, I feel like I’ve been run over by a truck and then dragged several blocks behind it. I HAVE to get more sleep tonight! James is going to pick up some over-the-counter sleep aids for me to get me through, at least for a couple more nights. I don’t like those things because ultimately they cause grogginess and you end up not really feeling rested as a result, but I can’t be up all night crying either.
I’ve been reading through and writing on some pregnancy loss forums and I’ve been finding it helpful having more people to talk to/feel supported by. Based on what I’ve been reading, everything I’m feeling is perfectly normal. Not that that helps me feel better, but at least I know I’m not totally crazy to be taking this so harshly.
I’ve noticed my blog readership has gone WAY up in the past week. If there’s anyone reading this who has gone through something similar as me and you want to talk about it, please leave me a comment. It can always be through email if you don’t want to be sharing your story publicly. I really find it helps a lot to just constantly ‘talk’ about what I’m feeling and going through. I find when I don’t, when I try to resist going on about it, I start feeling a lot more anxious and sad.
Today has been going by soooo slooooow. Mostly because I was totally exhausted from the minute I got up this morning. Three hours sleep doesn’t cut it! Luckily Andrew has been SUCH a good boy today. He’s content to watch his shows (Super Why!, Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, and a movie I downloaded him called Monster House, although I think it’s a bit scary for him so we only watched the first part of it). He’s also been loving doing ‘opposites.’ He has these puzzle type pieces that you have to find their opposite match of, such as Happy, Sad, or Fast, Slow, etc. He loves them, and it’s amazing how he just picks them up, finds their match, and matter-of-factly says what the words are. He’s a smart little cookie, that’s for sure!
He has taken to mentioning things to me, either that we’ve seen on a show or that we’ve done or someone said, and he’ll say, ‘Let’s talk about that!’ It’s so cute when he says that. The other night when we had my parents and grandma over for a visit, I had got some Nanaimo Bars for the occasion and Andrew tried it and said, ‘Ooooh, I really LIKE that!’ The way he says things is so funny. He has also taken to saying, ‘Mmhmm’ a lot instead of ‘yes’, although when he’s looking for something and I tell him where it is, he’ll say, ‘Ooooh, yes!’ He really does make me smile and laugh. I know I’m so very lucky to have my boy.