Baby, baby, baby
Yesterday I had my first midwife appointment and it went really well. Maybe even better than expected? I didn’t really find myself ‘comparing’ the ‘new’ midwife to my old one, so much as I just felt comfortable because I had a pretty good idea already how the appointment was going to go having been through it all before. I am with a team of 4 midwives who I’ll meet and get to know at least somewhat throughout my pregnancy, so I am pretty much guaranteed that one of them will be with me during my labour. I really liked the one I met yesterday, and I think one of the other ones used to work at the clinic I went to when I was pregnant with Andrew and she actually came to our house once for one of the post natal visits, so that’s awesome that I may already know one of them! I felt so good about the place. I would never go any other route than with a midwife during a pregnancy – I totally recommend it. Even if you love your doctor – I couldn’t imagine having a better family doctor than the one we have, seriously – I would still (and did!) choose a midwife for during pregnancy.
I had thought I would deliver at Royal Columbian Hospital in New West but it turns out the midwives at this group don’t work through that hospital as it’s out of their range. So it would be either St. Paul’s in Vancouver or Burnaby General in (obviously) Burnaby. I’ve decided I will register at both just in case, but my preference would be St. Paul’s even though we live in Burnaby. Unless it was rush hour traffic, I honestly don’t think it would take that much longer to drive downtown, and besides that I KNOW I love St. Paul’s maternity ward. I had such an amazing experience there with Andrew, whereas I know nothing about Burnaby General. (If anyone knows anything about BG, let me know, I’d love to know if it’s considered a good hospital, in particular the mat ward). So we’ll see what happens. I’m a little nervous about the drive, either way, but yes to St. Paul’s…I remember the drive there like it happened 5 minutes ago when I was preggers with the boy. I thought I was going.to.DIE. – and the drive was seriously MAYBE 10 minutes, probably less?! We lived pretty close to there before. So yeah…It’s just so hard to be sitting upright during contractions, I could barely handle it. But we’ll see what happens. The midwife I met with said since my labour was considered ‘short’ at 8 hrs the first time around, there’s a good chance my next one will be much quicker, and I might have to have a home birth if it comes down to it. Not the end of the world, I know, but I made it clear that I would reeeeally like to give birth in hospital if at all possible! FINGERS ARE CROSSED!
I asked if it was too early to hear a heartbeat and she said most likely but we could give it a try if it wouldn’t upset me too much to not hear it. Because she said she wouldn’t be at all worried if we couldn’t hear it, since I’m only just over 10 weeks. We didn’t hear it =( I was a little disappointed, just because it would have reassured me that everything is OK. Especially with the spotting I’ve had, which has been minimal but still has happened every now and then. She assured me it’s TOTALLY normal and happens to tons of women and especially in first trimester, so here’s hoping it will stop altogether very soon since I will be in second trimester in a couple of weeks (wow, I can’t believe how fast time is going, though some days it feels so slow!)
I don’t know why I worry, must be natural hormonal worry or something. I shouldn’t have anything to worry about, right? I’ve never had a miscarriage, my only other pregnancy went beautifully, my son came out healthy as can be and then some. I should have no worries, and yet…I think maybe it’s because I tend to put all my eggs in one basket (no pun intended, hahahahahahahahaha). What I mean is, I honestly feel that if I were to lose this pregnancy, I would never want to try again. I’d be so heartbroken because I do want 2 kids, but to go through all this again and be a total worry-wart more than I already am because of a miscarriage? I just couldn’t handle it, being the person that I am. I’d be a wreck, and that’s not fair to Andrew. So I worry because I NEED THIS TO GO AWESOMELY. It must! Or else! So it will, right?! I really don’t have any actual reason to think it won’t, I just…worry.
I think, too, it’s because my symptoms are seeming kind of ‘easier’ this time around. Tiredness sucks, but the sick doesn’t seem so bad at all. Still taking Diclectin once a day if that, as of several days ago. I occasionally might feel ever-so-slight as in barely-there nausea, or sometimes a smell might seem nasty to me when it normally wouldn’t. But for the most part, no sick. My midwife said yesterday I’m lucky because USUALLY second pregnancies are actually WORSE that way than with firsts. And that was true for my mom, she was very sick with my brother but even sicker with me. So maybe I worry because I was told last time around that being really sick means the hormones are doing awesome things for the baby, it’s just ME that suffers! Maybe I feel like if I was suffering more, I’d know my baby was doing better. Which is ridiculous, and I know lots of babies are born perfectly healthy when mom wasn’t desperately ill throughout the pregnancy. I just know what I was used to before and figured it’d be the same so even though in that sense right now it’s ‘better’, I worry as to why it’s NOT the same, or ‘worse’ as the midwife put it. Although honestly, I was so sick I don’t see how it could get WORSE sick-wise! So maybe that’s why I’m being given a break here this time around?!
Anyway…I’m partway through my 11th week now. Here’s what’s happening with baby (Biggie Smalls) right now:
Baby measures 4 centimetres from crown to rump, and is considered a fetus rather than an embryo (since week 10 I believe that’s the case). He or she has all his or her parts, from tooth buds to toenails (omg, how CUTE would his or her toenails be!) Baby is kicking and stretching, movements so fluid they look like water ballet. Fingers and toes have fully separated. Now the fetus's main task during the next six months will be to grow larger and stronger until it can survive on its own outside the womb.
We see Biggie Smalls on ultrasound in about a week – I CAN HARDLY WAIT TO WITNESS ALL THOSE CUTE LITTLE BABY PARTS IN MOTION!!!!!