Thursday, September 29, 2011

Counting down till my boys are home


I wasn’t expecting Andrew to go to his Nana’s today because he went there on Tuesday this week.  He was SUPPOSED to go today, but when she took him Tuesday due to both James and I not feeling well, I figured today he’d be with me.  James and I hadn’t discussed it last night so I didn’t at all have it in my head that I’d be on my own today.

I woke up at 8:30, saw what time it was on my alarm clock, and immediately thought, ‘This is weird.’  Usually when James leaves for work, Andrew runs to get me, or at the very least gets into bed with me, has a little morning snack, (yogurt or ‘Hulk food’) and if I’m really lucky, goes back to sleep with me for an hour or so.  This usually happens around 7am or just after.  So 8:30?!  I didn’t think at first that he might have gone downtown, so I was thinking, WOW, OK, so the boy had me up twice through the night…but at least he’s sleeping in his own bed till this time of the morning!

Then reality sunk in because there’s NO WAY my boy would do such a thing!  LOL  He has proven otherwise – I know ONE DAY he’ll sleep properly in his own bed, but I can’t see myself being lucky enough to have him do so till 8:30 in the morning, not till he’s a pre-teen or teenager most likely!

So it hit me that he must have gone downtown, and while part of me thought YAY, I CAN GET MORE SLEEEEEP! I also found myself feeling a little sad and disappointed.  I haven’t spent a lot of time with him the past few days, because yesterday afternoon my mom took him, so essentially the last 3 days I’ve been without him a lot of the time.  I’m not used to that at all!  He’s my little sidekick!  We’re practically attached at the hip.

I’ve been SO tired these past few weeks that sometimes it’s a struggle to get through an entire day with him.  Not because I don’t enjoy his company, he’s usually (yesterday morning not included) an absolute delight, and I love him to bits.  He’s so fun, and funny, and smart, and cuddly, and cute, and entertaining.  It’s true, lately I have a hard time keeping up with his energy levels, but I can still plug through, and we have fun together.  I hate having been apart from him for these 3 days.  I sort of feel guilty about it in a way, since it’s not like I have a job outside the home so I actually HAVE been given all this time to rest and relax.

But on the other hand, it’s not a terrible thing to have that time, and I know I SHOULDN’T feel guilty for it, because I’m also growing another baby and that in itself is a lot of work!  Today I ‘did the right thing’ and went back to bed after I realized Andrew wasn’t here, and I slept for 3 straight hours.  Which for me is amazing.  I felt really tired and groggy when I got up and don’t have a ton of energy still even though I didn’t do too much today, just a quick trip to the store and some cooking.  BUT I know that ultimately the sleep I had was good for me, and something I really need more of.  Especially NOW since once baby#2 arrives I’m likely to sink into complete insanity due to zero sleep, especially if Andrew is still proving himself incapable of sleeping through the night.  SIGH!!!!  I so don’t want to think about how the little sleep I get now is going to seem like a ton of sleep compared to what I’ll be getting by early next year…

An awesome thing about today is that so far I haven’t felt nauseous once so I haven’t taken any Diclectin, yay me! 

My boys should be home soon.  I can’t wait to give them both hugs and kisses today!

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