Sleeping is overrated...or at least that's what I keep trying to tell myself
I’ve been terrible about getting enough sleep…pretty much my whole life. I’ve always felt like I’m missing out on TIME that could be spent doing other things when I’m asleep. I remember being 5 and feeling this way. I remember staying up way past my bedtime once as a kid, I was probably 5 or 6, and I was feeling creative so I made a snowman or something out of plasticine and I was so pleased with the results that I ‘fessed up to my parents that I was up in order to show them my creation!
Ever since Andrew came along and I can’t catch extra zzz’s when I really need to, I realize the value in getting a proper night’s sleep. I really do, deep down, understand the benefits of sleeping! I just can’t seem to get myself to the point of getting enough of it, even with the knowledge of how magical it is.
Lately Andrew gets up at his usual time (anytime, generally, between 8-9am – sometimes earlier but not usually later), doesn’t nap at all through the day, and now has taken to not wanting to go to bed till around 10pm. He used to stay up that late or later if he DID nap, but with no nap he’s go go go all day non-stop till later in the evening. It’s frustrating in the sense that I am getting less and less time to myself, unless, of course, I stay up later. Which I’ve been doing, and lo and behold I am paying for it. I just get so tired through the day and lack the energy that I really want (and truly NEED) to keep up with my highly energetic boy!
Some days are easier than others, some days a coffee does the trick and other days I swear if I had an IV drip of caffeine it would have no effect. But all I know is, I really should sleep more. But the conundrum is also wanting that time to myself!
At least I haven’t felt like I’ve wasted a lot of my time when I’ve stayed up late lately. Sometimes in the past I’ve just surfed the web or zoned out on tv or something, and even though I had great intentions for being productive during that time I’d find myself having frittered it away by the end of it. Lately, though, I’ve been reading. Since Andrew doesn’t take too kindly to me reading (unless, of course, it’s to him, and not a book I’d be reading for myself!) it’s something I can only do when he’s asleep or spending time with his dad. So I do a lot of late night reading. I finished Sophie Kinsella’s Twenties Girl several days ago (I loved it) and now I’m on to a book called The Help by Kathryn Stockett. I just looked it up and discovered its been made into a movie – and this makes me so happy! I’m half way through and I’ve thought several times that it would make an amazing film, so I can’t wait to see it in theatre (once I’ve finished the book). I highly recommend reading it!
I think I’ll go read a few pages (while my boy cuddles up to me as he woke up a few minutes ago…after a little ‘midnight snack’ of yogurt (he’s ALWAYS hungry these days and eats a LOT!), he said, ‘Mommy cuddles!’ and burrowed into me. I sang him ‘You are my sunshine’ and then when it was finished he opened his eyes to say, ‘More songs.’ That just melts my heart, I love that he loves it when I sing to him, especially since in reality I know my singing voice sounds kind of horrendous!! But it soothes him, and that’s all that matters.
Then I’d better get some shut eye…After all this talk about not getting enough sleep, it would probably make sense for me to try to get SOME!