Sunday, October 31, 2010

My real life horror story

I’ve been putting off writing about this because, well, it just feels like a waste of energy. But at the same time I feel like it’s important to get it off my chest.

So my m-i-l is indeed moving to Vancouver. I knew it was going to be happening soon-ish. Her original plan was to get here in mid-December, but then because we won’t be around at Xmas she was thinking of going to Europe to visit family there for the holidays. (Yeah I know, must be nice to be able to do that AND make a major move all within weeks of each other – I have no idea how she manages to do things that way, but whatever!) She IS going to Europe for the holidays…except – SURPRISE! – just the other day she sends James an email in the morning to let him know she’s set to arrive in Vancouver on December 31st.

New Year’s Eve, yes. But more importantly, Andrew’s 2nd birthday.

To most people, it would seem like an obvious thing: a grandmother wants to see her grandchild on his special day. Only this isn’t a normal circumstance.

Let’s not forget that on the day of his actual birth, she was MIA. We found out later that she’d been at a hotel lounge getting drunk with strangers, bragging to them about her first grandchild being born…Only by that point she could have (and SHOULD have) been at the hospital MEETING him, rather than drinking up with strangers acting as if it was the most amazing thing in the world to be a grandma. My family had brought champagne to toast his arrival and we waited and waited for K to show up to celebrate with us, only she never did and finally the bottle was opened without her there. She showed up at 8pm, just as a voice sounded over the loudspeaker that visiting hours were over. Which felt about right, because after birthing Andrew at 3:50 in the afternoon, by 8 I was feeling pretty darn tired.

Her visit consisted of telling us how his young years would flash before our very eyes. Basically, that my little bundle would be leaving me to move off to college somewhere before I could blink my eyes and he wouldn’t be MINE anymore. Thanks, K. Just what I was wanting to hear the day I give birth! So unnecessary. Yes, babes grow waaay too fast but for crying out loud it’ll be a few years yet before he ‘leaves’ me!

Then she had the gall the next day to throw a hissy fit because she wasn’t the first person we called when it was time to check out of the hospital (even though she KNEW we had to call my parents first because they were the ones with the car that had the car seat in it that we legally HAD to take Andrew home in!) (Not to mention her secondary complaint - that I apparently had not done 'enough' for her when she visited us in the hospital! ARE YOU KIDDING ME??! She wasn't).

And all went downhill from there, to the point she left the next day and other than a stupid email not even worth mentioning (except to say she tried to blame me for everything), I didn’t hear from her again for over 10 months.

Not to mention the days leading up to his birth (starting Christmas day) where she blew up and had her usual tantrum, only x about a million – making our last few days sans child about as stressful as they possibly could have been. Thanks again, K, you’re so totally awesome!

So it probably goes without saying (but I’ll say it anyway) that I’m not thrilled (not in the least) that she chose ANDREW’S BIRTHDAY as the day she would MOVE here.

I mean think about it: How dramatic can she be?

Let’s back up a bit. To July 27, 2007, to be precise.

James and my wedding day.

Even though we had breakfast with her (and her soon-to-be ex-husband) and made it CLEAR she should be at the boat NO LATER THAN 5pm (we were set to sail at 5:30), she showed up at about 5:35. Why did she show up late to her own son’s wedding? I’ll tell you EXACTLY why!

It was so she could be (aside from the bride) the VERY last person to walk down the isle. She went to the upper deck of the yacht and waltzed down the isle in a manner so as to be DAMN SURE all eyes were on her – the grand entrance of the most dramatic person in the universe. LOOK AT ME! LOOK AT ME!!

If she can show up to her son’s wedding LATE when there was no excuse whatsoever for doing so, OF COURSE she would move here ON Andrew’s birthday, because then it would become all about HER and the fact that SHE LIVES HERE NOW AND…HERE I AM! LOOK AT ME!! LOOK AT ME!!!

It was VERY evident to me around the time of Andrew’s birth, from shortly before to a while after, that it pissed her off that WE were getting all the attention and not her. I swear to gawd she’d have ripped that pregnancy belly right off me and plunked it onto herself if she could have because she would have been able to steal the show!

Which it wasn’t (a show, I mean) at all. Not to us. But to her, it seemed to be something along those lines. All I know is, she’s only really happy when it’s ALL ABOUT HER.

Andrew’s birthday is the most important day in the world to me. The way she treated us when he was being born IS unforgivable, but even if it WERE forgivable, it’s hard to forgive someone who doesn’t apologize nor take accountability for their part in ANYTHING. At least not without turning it all back around in your face and making it about YOU and what YOU DID WRONG. Which, to me, is not taking responsibility at all for one’s self.

So it’s a sore spot for me. Why should she celebrate Andrew’s birthday with us when she never even apologized for what she did? It feels to me like it sends the wrong message to her. She seriously seems to think that forever and always the rotten things she does will be swept under the rug, always for her to get away with. Time and time again.

Well, it’s not going to work that way.

Luckily she doesn’t arrive till later afternoon anyway, and Andrew’s party is going to be in the early afternoon. But apparently we have to do dinner with her, which, OK, I can give, although obviously I’d prefer not to. But what she’s going to have to realize is that dinner is one thing – but bringing the new year in WITH HER is NOT GOING TO HAPPEN. I can’t in all good conscience toast the new year (which is also my baby’s birthday and a celebration of HIM and HIS new year beginning) WITH THE ONE PERSON WHO CAUSES ME THE MOST GRIEF. I can’t do it. And I won’t do it.

I can’t stand how she does this. She’d try to act all innocent like WHAT, I just want to see my grandboy on his big day, what’s the problem? But there is NO WAY she doesn’t know the foundation of all of this and how previous actions (or lack thereof being more the issue) make it all NOT OKAY.

She drives me crazy. Absolutely bonkers. I do my best (and am pretty good at it most of the time now) to not let her get to me, not let her antics affect me regularly. I can push it to the back of my mind and say to hell with all of it! But the thing is, she’s going to be LIVING HERE. And I am supposed to LIVE WITH THAT.

It’s not going to be easy. And I won’t be celebrating it.

A year ago today, Andrew took his first steps!

Happy Halloween!

I’ve been waiting for this day for weeks, maybe even close to two months. Ever since I decided on the PERFECT costume for Andrew…

I couldn’t have picked a better costume for him. After all, he sort of has Bamm Bamm’s personality. Let’s put it this way: When the costume came in the mail (I couldn’t find it in-store so I ordered it online), the first thing he picked up was Bamm Bamm’s club, and he whacked the side of my head with it.
Thank goodness it’s a PLUSH club and not a real one!
I had him wear the costume around the house a few times before today, just to get him used to it. It looks cozy (he loves the word ‘cozy’ and said as much about it!) but because of the plush bone and whatnot on it, I knew there’d be a period of adjustment to wearing it – and I was right. He learned a few weeks ago that he was going as Bamm Bamm for Halloween, so every time he heard the word ‘Halloween’ he’d grin and say, ‘BAMM BAMM!’
He wore the costume all morning and for part of the afternoon. We took him out to the hotel where my parents were staying and he got lots of smiles and comments from people. He was the only person dressed up where we went, although of course most people wait to get their costumes on till evening! But unfortunately Andy’s got a cold and it seems to have gotten worse since yesterday, so I don’t think we’ll be venturing out with him tonight. He’s got lots of treats as it is!
He is just so darn cute, and kept pointing at himself saying, ‘Bamm Bamm!’ like, yeah, look at me, I know who I am! My dad asked him, ‘Who am I dressed up as, Andrew?’ and Andy paused for a minute and then said, ‘Papa!’ LOL Yup, Grampa was dressed up as himself!
We also had a short visit with Maude the Ladybug and Gertie the Pumpkin! It looked like Gertrude was smiling, I swear she was LOVIN’ her puffy pumpkin outfit!
It was a fun time just hanging out and watching Andrew (and the puppies) running about. I also enjoyed relaxing with a coffee while my dad chased after the boy for an hour or so =) Aaaaahhhhh!

We haven’t carved our pumpkin yet…I’m debating whether we will or not. Probably we will, but Andy loves to carry it around and call it ‘man’ (as in, Punk Man, which is what I told him it’s called!) so I don’t know if we should ‘ruin’ it. But we shall see…right now the boy is napping, I feel so bad for him with this stupid cold. It just seems to come back as soon as it goes away in this household. What gives?!

But we’re having a Spooktacular Halloween despite it, and it’s not even dark out yet, so there’s plenty of scariness left to enjoy!

Happy Halloween!!

PS A flashback to a year ago, here's my little Devilled Egg, enjoying his first Halloween! (The horns suit his personality as much now as they did then - and in fact he still wears that toque sometimes when we go out!) =)

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Comfy couch madness

Today I HAD ENOUGH of watching the same two episodes of Big Comfy Couch offered for free on Shaw on Demand over and over and over for the ten zillionth time…so I took Andrew to HMV and bought him two BCC dvds!

It’s definitely not my favourite program (I’ll take The Wiggles any day), although it has grown on me somewhat having seen it so many times. I have to admit, Snicklefritz (the cat) cracks me up every time! But still…seeing the same 2 episodes over and over was beginning to drive me totally bonkers.

And, no, I do not allow Andrew to watch tv all day long, but there are periods of time where he just whines and whines and whines to watch ‘Molly’ (he only likes the scenes that Molly is in, which makes it even MORE annoying, because as soon as she’s out of view he bugs till I fast forward to her next scene…Does he have me wrapped around his little finger, or what?!) I let him watch BCC this afternoon when we got home, just because the dvds were new and he was obviously excited about them. But otherwise, it is ONLY allowed shortly before bedtime, and THAT IS IT!!!!!

It was such a nice day out, contrary to the weather reporting rain as far as the eye can see, so I thought it would be good for us to get out and enjoy it while it lasts. After walking to HMV we headed to James’ workplace and hung out there for a short while. His co-workers couldn’t believe how much he’s changed, I guess its been a while since we stopped by. He was running around their desks and giving high fives. (It’s a small office, so it was OK for him to be doing that! Besides, James is the boss man so his kid has free range in there – haha!)

We walked back home along the sea wall, saw a few sea planes, and Andrew did his walk-JUMP!walk-JUMP! thing that he loves so much along a ledge (not a ledge to the water or anything, just the one between the walk and bike paths, and I was holding his hand the whole time!!) He actually did a lot of walking AND running and I was pretty sure Molly would put him to sleep for an afternoon snooze, but not so.

It’s tough, the no napping business, though I’m getting sort of used to it in some ways. He will nap in the afternoon on occasion, but it has been pretty rare for some time now. And it’s a blessing in some ways, because I’m pretty sure I’ve complained about it before, that if he naps at all during the day he’s up later and later at night. So while I love the time I get if he naps during the day, I have to say I’m leaning toward preferring that he go to bed at a decent time instead.

And James has been awesome lately about giving me time to myself after supper, so I’m not feeling totally exhausted to the same level I would be if I had no time. Or full of resentment. LOL Not that I’d get that way every day if I didn’t get time, but just having even half an hour can make all the difference.

Ahhhhhhhhh. I think people who have kids one after the other are i-n-s-a-n-e, but I guess that’s just because I know I wouldn’t be able to handle it. Although in my defence that’s probably because my first child was ANDREW! LOL What a handful. A beautifully delightful one, but a huge handful nonetheless.

I was feeling some remnants of the migraine this morning and thought it was going to be a verrry long day, but getting out into the fresh air and sunshine did me a world of good. Hopefully the good weather will last through the weekend! A sunshine-y Halloween like last year would be muuuuch appreciated, given Andrew’s non-rainproof costume that I want to show off to the world!!

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

On a sunny fall day

This was taken maybe a week and a half ago. The crispness of fall in the air was enjoyable with the sun shining so bright. I knew the rain would be settling in soon enough (this is Vancouver, after all) so Anders and I went for a little sea wall stroll to while away the afternoon.
And what fun we had! Andrew delighted in checking out the water park (though he didn't venture in like he did in the summer time!) and we spent about an hour watching the sea planes come and go.

I love this kid sooooooo much!

Pain, pain go away, come again...NEVER!

Today is a day I do not wish to repeat. I had the mother of all headaches, a serious migraine. It actually started last night but I thought I’d be able to pop two Tylenol and sleep it off. Unfortunately not. I woke up with it repeatedly through the night, and by the time it was morning I thought I was going to die from it. And that didn’t change until about 3:30 this afternoon.

I tried more Tylenol, ice packs, even Tiger Balm. Nothing worked. The pain got so severe I was throwing up off and on for several hours. At one point I was seriously contemplating calling an ambulance because I was sure my head was going to explode at any moment. Not fun.

LUCKILY James was able to stay home and take a sick day, even though he wasn’t the sick one. There is NO WAY I’d have been able to look after Andrew on my own. I’ve been sick and had to be on my own with him before, which is tough enough, but with a migraine I honestly don’t think I could have done it.

I think this is the first day since Andrew was born that I spent that much time in bed just trying to rest and not physically being well enough to be there for him. It was strange, and I felt bad about it, but there was nothing I could do about it. I guess those are good odds for me, though – in almost 2 years I haven’t had a headache or anything THAT severe. And thank gawd for that!!

Every now and then James would come into the bedroom to check on me, and Andy would get up onto the bed and furrow his brow and say, ‘Mom-mom, boo-boo, boo-boo’ and then he’d kiss my forehead. He was actually quite good about it, he really seemed to understand that I wasn’t well and needed taken care of.

I finally dozed off when they went out to the store to get me some Advil for migraines and I took one as soon as they got in and it seemed to help fairly quickly. I still have a slight headache and if I try to do too much I can feel it creeping back, which is why I’m trying not to do too much.

I am so grateful for my hubby, he is my rock and he takes great care of me (and the boy!) I really don’t know what I’d have done without him today.

Monday, October 25, 2010

More pictures to come...

I just realized it has been AGES since I posted pictures. Which is ridiculous, I mean I only take a few HUNDRED each week. (Which is actually nothing, compared to the hundreds I took each DAY not so long ago!!)

I haven't organized pictures on my computer for a while so I have some work to do before I can post much, but here are a few...

Andrew ready for Mardi Gras...or maybe the Gay Pride Parade?! Rocking out to none other than The Wiggles! (I think this was taken shortly before the Wiggles concert, or he'd be using his plush Murray-Wiggle guitar instead of the mini Guitar Hero one that I gave James for Xmas a few years back!)

Me and the boy before heading out to see my bro and s-i-l's new place (2 weeks ago). I was carrying him in the baby sling, which still works somewhat, at least it helps take a bit of his weight so my back doesn't feel like it's going to break QUITE as soon as without it! I hadn't used it for ages so he thought it was so fun that he got to be CARRIED all the way to the new condo. No stroller = one happy little guy!! And I love getting to carry him like a 'baby' because he's getting to be such a big boy now, I have to cherish these moments while I've still got them!
And this is where I'm hoping the boy will be headed in the next hour, given he didn't nap for one second today and was go go go from 8am forward...

Lotions and soaps and sprays, oh my!

Last night while I was running a bath, I decided to do a little cleaning-out-of-the-cabinets in the bathroom. I know, I know, I am constantly talking about cleaning and organizing lately, ENOUGH ALREADY! But honestly, if you looked in the cabinet under the sink in our bathroom, and the little cabinet thing we have attached to the wall, you wouldn’t think I was any sort of neat freak. It’s clutter city in there.

Does anyone else have a problem with how much ‘stuff’ tends to get stocked up in a bathroom? I’m not talking rolls of toilet paper (although they do take up space for sure!), but all the lotions and soaps and then there’s the leftover sunscreen from last summer and oh yeah, did I mention the lotions and soaps?!

I love lotions and soaps, don’t get me wrong. But I tend to forget to put it on every single day. Let me start over, I don’t mean that I don’t use soap and wash myself! LOL I do! But a bar of soap can last a pretty long time. And I love pretty smelling lotions and body sprays and things, but they seem to last a lifetime. So while it’s great to have a plethora of scents available to one’s self at any particular time – you can choose your fragrance mood-depending – it can become overwhelming for a small cabinet to hold it all.

So while it’s still a mess of products in there, I scaled back and threw out things that have either been in there forever, or that I just know I’ll never get to because I like the other stuff better. And I slathered on a lot of stuff after my bath to start working through some of it! I’d really like to get it down to just a very modest amount of products. Mind you, I still think it would wind up looking cluttered, because it’s impossible to really organize that kind of stuff, and then there’s all the first aid type stuff, like hydrogen peroxide. Obviously I’m not going to douse myself in that to get rid of the bottle!

Which reminds me – Andrew found a bottle of hydrogen peroxide in my dad’s bathroom cabinet (don’t worry, he was being monitored, I was in there putting my contacts in and he was showing me all the stuff from under the sink!) and he immediately pointed to it and said, ‘Cat! Cat!’ Which is hilarious: he associates hydrogen peroxide with cats, because when he gets scratched or bitten by Moorka (and occasionally Fiona), we put some on to help stave off infection!

Anyhoo…All this talk of the yummy smelling lotions has me craving a bath. Time to go pour an extra capful of bubbles into the tubby!!

Sunday, October 24, 2010

Soooo tiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiired

Remember that project I was going to work on…Getting rid of tons of clothes and just keeping a few mix and match items – THINGS I ACTUALLY WEAR? Well…it didn’t go so well. I have a pile of about 5 shirts to get rid of and THAT’S IT! I kept wavering on getting rid of stuff and so it pretty much all ended back up on hangers. WHAT IS MY PROBLEM??! I need Stacey and Clinton to come in and just rip my wardrobe apart and make me feel so bad about the clothes in there that I wouldn’t want to wear them again if they were the last clothes on earth!!

I have a bunch of clothes I really like and they are good good good but I just keep thinking I’ll regret getting rid of something in the so-so pile of stuff. I guess because a couple of times in my life I’ve got rid of things making snap decisions and regretted it later. But it seriously has happened so few times. I really need to learn to let go.

I haven’t even put anything in the drawers of Andrew’s desk (that’s currently in our bedroom). Well, the bottom drawer has some of his toys in it that he takes out to play with if I’m in here and he’s hanging with me. But that’s it. That tells me there’s something wrong with me, because for me to not have the gumption to get something organized and find a new home for a bunch of ‘stuff’ – of which we have a lot, it seems! – it’s not a good sign. Let’s just put it this way: when we moved into this apartment, I literally had EVERYTHING unpacked and in its rightful place in less than 24 hours. It’s what I do!

Yes, since Andrew came along I’ve obviously been sleep-deprived. But this is getting ridiculous! I actually had a 2 hour nap in the late morning/early afternoon one of the days I was in Nanaimo. And James has been pretty accommodating to me getting rest the past little while in general, given I’ve been battling one cold after another, a cold that won’t quit, and what the doctor referred to as a ‘low-grade fever.’

Well, I decided to check my temp again tonight with our handy dandy little thermometer and indeed I am still fevering. What causes a person to have a consistent fever for OVER A MONTH?? Because the way I feel, this feverish sort of feeling, while slight, is something I’m aware of pretty much all of the time. It feels like something is zapping my energy faster than I can produce it. I am sooooo tiiiiiired, I get achy, I sometimes feel a shortness of breath, as if I’ve been winded. It’s taking its toll on me because even though I’m generally ‘tired,’ I can usually keep up with Andrew for quite some time before the tired takes over. But these days, I’m just sort of dragging myself, I have to seriously force myself to do things. And I do do things, but I just don’t have the same get-up-and-go PEP. I want my pep back!!

I swear to gawd I’m not a hypochondriac, though from reading some of my posts lately you might think I am! I really don’t usually have anything wrong at all, I just can’t seem to quite shake whatever I’ve had since the end of August. Luckily this time Andy hasn’t got it. Cross your fingers that he and the hubby stay in the clear!

It’s so frustrating because I think in my head of all the things I really, really want to do. But even just thinking about it makes me feel sleepy. Hopefully the boy doesn’t stay up too late tonight. I need all the zzz’s I can get.

A new bulldog cousin for Andrew! and other stories

I ended up getting more time to myself than I’d expected yesterday. So much so, that after a while I found myself missing my boys so much that I went and met up with them at the park! I knew if they were out much longer, once they got home James wouldn’t want to go out again. So it was my only opportunity to get out of the house, unless of course I went by myself, but that’s not quite as fun.

So we hung out at the playground for a bit, headed home, and then I stopped by my bro and s-i-l’s place a few blocks away FOR THE LAST TIME. They moved yesterday! It was kind of special for me to see them lock the doors for the last time and say goodbye to the place, since I was also there the day they decided to buy it.

Today we went over to their new place which is soooo nice – way bigger than their last place and so much brighter. With outdoor space, too. It’s exciting moving, part of me loves staying in one place because I love one place to be ‘home’ and having that security and familiarity. But moving is so exciting because you get to rearrange furniture and put each and every thing in its right place (always, of course, with the intention of keeping things tidy and organized…if only it could stay that way!!) I love the newness and freshness of a brand new place to live.

Anyway, we were primarily there because they were picking up their new bulldog today and didn’t want to leave little frenchie (Maude) on her own without anyone familiar while they went to pick her up, since it was her first day in the new digs as well. We hung out, James went and picked us up some Chinese food for our lunch, and we played hide and seek with Andrew. He is hilarious with that game, doesn’t quite get it yet so when you tell him to close his eyes and we’ll go hide, he puts his index fingers over his eyes but then peeks through!

The new bulldog arrived, we think her mom and dad have FINALLY settled on the name Gertrude (Gertie for short!) Maude was a little mellower than we thought about meeting her sister, whereas Gertie just charged in and kind of took over. She flew all the way from Winnipeg so we thought she’d be traumatized but nope, it’s as if she has always lived there right from the second she walked in! She’s so funny, I can already tell we have quite a new character as part of the family. Andrew couldn’t believe it, he kept calling her ‘Maude’ because she really does look like the English Bulldog version of Maude the Frenchie! So cute.

Boy fell asleep on the way home. All bundled up with my jacket over him as a blanket and his new winter hat on. Adorable!

I wish it wasn’t Sunday, I feel like I’ve got nothing on the ‘clipboard of fun’ for this week. Just looking forward to next weekend, I can’t believe Halloween is almost here!

Saturday, October 23, 2010

Oh glorious 'me time'

I have a really hard time prioritizing what I want to do and when. I have systems for getting things done and I’m pretty efficient. It’s just when it comes down to ‘me time’ that things sort of fall apart.

Maybe ‘fall apart’ is a tad dramatic. I enjoy my me time and can get a lot out of the time I have to myself. (Although it never, ever feels like enough, and likely won’t for many years to come!) It’s just hard prioritizing.

For example, this morning James took Andrew out so I could ‘do what I want.’ Which is awesome, and I’m thankful (and obviously they’re still out or I wouldn’t be writing this!) But the thing is, we (Andy and I) just got back from the island last night and hadn’t been here since Monday morning…So while yes James did tidy and clean up a few things, certain things he doesn’t touch (cough, cough, the bathroom…cough, cough, the dusting…) I can’t stand looking at an inch thick layer of dust on our white tv unit (ok maybe not an inch but it was thick, just in ONE day it collects so, like, 6 or 7 or whatever its been seemed nasty to me). And the bathroom NEEDS to be kept clean, I would be so embarrassed if someone came over and it was in the state it was in! Which wasn’t THAT bad but for me it wasn’t good.

I can’t really focus entirely on just enjoying my ‘me time’ when things are in that kind of disarray. Call it a problem if you want to but I don’t see it that way! These things just have to be done! And normally (when I’m here every day) I keep on top of things as best I can so it’s not really that much of an issue.

So I got those things done. And quickly, I mean it’s not like we have a huge bathroom or even much furniture to dust. Hallelujah for tiny apartments! I also threw in a load of laundry while I was at it.

But then I realized I was feeling sweaty and gross from the cleaning so I had a quick shower. Not a bad thing to do but I am not a person who really ‘enjoys’ a shower. I am just in there to wash and get my hair clean and I’m out.

When I got out, I realized I hadn’t eat much this morning (one waffle, or ‘faffle, as Andrew calls them!) and I was starving. But I didn’t know what to make…Then I thought about how the boys would come home and most likely be hungry but what would we have?? So I decided to whip up a pot of homemade minestrone soup. Not by a recipe, just by the usual veggies and things that I throw into the pot.

So I did that and even though my nose is stuffed up (yup, started coming down with a cold AGAIN last night – third one in just over 2 months, AND I never did fully get rid of the cough from the 2nd cold…SO ANNOYING) the soup smells really yummy.

But it has to simmer for some time before it’s ready for eating so I still found myself starving.

So I made a cucumber and cheese sandwich and watched a few minutes of tv while I ate it. Olympic gymnastics, as it happened, which was fairly entertaining. (I hated gymnastics as a kid, definitely not for me, but it’s amazing watching people who are good at it flying around on those bars and things!) After I finished my sandwich I decided to turn the tv off (too much of a time waster!) and here I am now.

I know that I ‘chose’ what to do with the time I had ‘to myself.’ I did, right? But at the same time, I feel like I don’t reeeally have the choice…Yes, it’s true, I could have ONLY put my feet up, watched tv, used my computer, read the book I’ve got on the go. But if I did do that, and then the boys came home, it would be frustrating trying to get the chores done with them sort of in my way – basically it would end up taking twice as long to do the same amount of work. Andrew is used to me cleaning and sometimes he even ‘helps’ but it still means my job takes longer. And when I clean out the bathtub he gets upset because he thinks I’m running him a bath and doesn’t understand why I’m not letting him get in! And making soup would entail a little boy pushing at my legs and trying to wedge himself between me and the stove so I’d have to pay attention to him instead of the soup, OR he’d want to be lifted up to SEE the soup, which means I can’t be making it!

It’s hard because I know that when James has time to himself, 99% of that time is spent JUST doing whatever he wants. While I was gone he took out the garbage, probably only once, and took out the recycling which had piled up and should have been taken out ages ago. He did clean the kitchen and vacuum before I came home as well. But in total all of that put together wouldn’t add up to half an hour. He’s not ‘in charge’ of the other household maintenance and therefore he doesn’t even feel he has to think about it. Whereas for me, well it’s just part of my reality and if I don’t face it when I see it, it gets worse and it all takes longer to take care of.

I wish I could have a ‘me time’ session that consists of getting all the chores done, and then afterwards more time to myself to just do whatever! Although arguably that’s what this is right now, my ‘whatever me time’ is consisting of griping about my lack of total me time! LOL

It’s all good, I enjoy what time I do have. And even though it’s sort of a chore, I enjoyed making the soup, and hell, I even enjoyed cleaning the bathroom insofar as afterwards it was sparkling how I like it to be!

Perhaps part of it is knowing that the ‘me time’ is limited to just a couple of hours tops. And when it ends, it really ends, because James will come home with the boy tired, wanting ‘he time’ and then it feels like my time to myself was nothing more than a figment of my imagination and it’s back to reality I go!

Not that I don’t love every second with my boy. He gave me kisses and said ‘buh-bye!’ in his cutesy wutesy little guy voice before he went out and just thinking about that makes me long for his cuddles when he gets back! Still, I’d better maximize this quiet time while it exists…

Friday, October 22, 2010

Back and forth

Back from the island once again. The back and forth is so tiresome, but I go because it breaks things up nicely for me being at my parents’ place during the week. When we’re home all week and James is at work, the hours can go by pretty slowly. Which is not to say we don’t get out and do things that are fun and interesting, it’s just a lot nicer to have other people to help out when I’m super tired. I also love seeing how at home Andrew is at his Gramma and Grampa’s house – he pretty much owns the place when he’s there now. He has his favourite things (mainly Grampa’s ‘chines’ – vacuums and carpet shampooer, and the ‘oy’ – garden hose!) He also loves it when GG (his Great Grandma) comes for a visit! This trip she bought him a snow suit, complete with matching hat, gloves, and boots! What a spoiled boy Andrew is. But he looks so darn cute in everything! A snow suit seems over the top for these parts but rumour has it we’re in for a bad winter this year, and it will be practical for times when we need to go out and I obviously don’t want the boy to get cold. He didn’t like trying the snow suit itself on, but he liked the puffy jacket and loooved wearing the boots!

It’s just exhausting doing the trip there and back, although I try to be positive about it. It could be a lot worse. When we move I know it’ll be a longer commute so I should be happy with the way it is now. About 25 minutes bus trip to the ferry, then the hour and a half ferry ride, then about 10 minutes drive to get to my parents’ house once we’re there. Not so bad right? The issue has become that the bus is sometimes too full for us to get on, and when you’re waiting for 15-20 minutes just to CATCH the bus with a toddler only to find out it’s full and it’s the last bus that will make it for that ferry but a taxi costs $40 one way…well, it can be tear-inducing – for both toddler and mom!! So it’s always a gamble trying to get there…and then the ferry ride is just so BORING, I absolutely hate having to take it. It’s hard coming up with ways to entertain Andrew, and my back always gets close to breaking from chasing him and carrying him around for the duration.

BUT, like I said, it could be worse. And I do enjoy our ‘island time’ so there is a trade off.

This weekend is my bro and s-i-l’s big move…I can’t believe they won’t be 2 blocks from us anymore but I’m excited about their new place, even if it is in a somewhat sketchy neighbourhood. They are also going to have a new addition to the family…in the form of an English Bulldog, arriving Sunday night…which is a bit crazy with having just moved into their new place but hey, why not have it all happen in one go?! I’ll be helping them out a little on Sunday with move-related ventures and then I get to meet the bulldog, so excited about that!

Not sure what’s happening around here tomorrow, although one thing I HAVE to do is clean out our closet. It feels like I am doing that waaay too often but this time it’s all about scaling back clothes. I have decided SERIOUSLY enough is enough, why do I hoard all my clothes that I NEVER wear?? It’s time to get serious and just get rid of anything I say I’ll wear maybe someday but never do. I want to just have a certain amount of clothes on rotation and that’s it. If it’s not something I look at with enthusiasm, it is no longer worthy of a hanger or drawer space! Enough is enough!

Thursday, October 21, 2010

Fall is in the air

I am wearing a cozy sweater but still I feel cold. It’s that wintery chill that’s in the air. I keep forgetting that fall has set in full-fledged and that winter is coming. I am dressed appropriately for the weather, but it still surprises me when I walk outside and there’s such a nip in the air. Summer went by so fast!

I much prefer the warmth outside and I already long to wear my flip flops again! It’s a whole lot easier to get out of the house with a toddler in the nicer weather. Having to get all bundled up to go anywhere makes me question how badly we need to go out. (I know we have it a lot easier here than a lot of places, but still, it gets cold here too!)

But there are certain things about fall that I love. That nostalgic feeling that comes with the start of any new season, reminding me of the things we did last fall. I can’t believe it has almost been a whole year since Andrew learned to walk!

I love the beautiful colours on the trees and crunching the leaves under my feet as I walk. While I do prefer spring and summer weather, there is also something nice about the crispness in the air. I don’t like how dark it gets so early now, but there is also a cozy element to the dark and the cold. Sitting inside covered in blankets, sipping a tea or hot chocolate. Cozying up on the couch with my boys!

I really ‘feel’ the fall now, especially since we took Andrew to the Ghost Train and are getting into the ‘Halloween spirit’ – at least to some degree. And my brother and s-i-l are getting married in a few weeks, which is pretty exciting! We’ll be going on a little trip for that, which will be quite an adventure I expect.

Then it will be all about getting geared up for Christmas, and of course Andrew’s 2nd birthday/new years. A lot to look forward to coming up!

But I don’t want to get ahead of myself! I’m definitely not ready for Christmas and winter. Let’s just focus on Fall for a bit =)

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Keep in mind who might be reading...

I think if used correctly, social networking sites can be amazing. You can keep in touch with people that you might otherwise not keep in regular contact with. You can find out what people from your childhood are up to, reconnect with friends from school you’ve wondered about for years. There are also many stories about people finding long lost parents, siblings, and other family that they might otherwise have never met.

When used correctly, you can inform people of the goings on in your life, yell out to the world how you’ve landed that job you always wanted, or that you’re getting married, have a bun in the oven, what have you.

All fine things to share with your friends on Facebook. But the problem is, it seems some people don’t understand the importance of perhaps FIRST informing people close to them in their life who might not be on Facebook before shouting things out to the world.

I have a cousin who doesn’t seem to realize (or perhaps she just doesn’t care) that when she writes something on her Facebook wall, I (and everyone else on her ‘friends’ list) can see it.

She is my 20 year old cousin who had a baby boy just 3 ½ months after Andrew was born. Well, as it turns out, she is pregnant with baby number two already, and said so on Facebook. Casually, might I add – she wasn’t shouting it out in her status bar, but rather replying to a message a friend of her’s sent her. She just so happened to answer with her due date and from there another friend was inquiring about her baby shower! It turns out, she’s about 4 months along.

Interesting, considering we got together a few weeks ago to have a play date for the boys while they were in town visiting family (they live in Alberta). There was absolutely no mention to us that another baby was on the way when we had that visit.

It just seems odd to me…because according to someone else (oh, how the rumours fly!), she thinks it’s a wonderful thing that she’s pregnant again, so you’d think there would be no reason to hide it from us, right? We’re family, after all. We’d have congratulated her (even if we might, on the inside, be wondering if she’s insane to have a second when she can barely afford the first as it is…It’s her life, and we’re removed enough to not need to share our concerns about what this might mean for her, to be tied down with 2 kids by the age of 21). What bothers me even more is that she hasn’t told our grandmother yet, and her heart is going to break when she finds out that she was pregnant during that visit yet she didn’t say anything. She’s going to wonder why she’s this far along before finding out.

The thing is, it’s one thing to keep something a secret for whatever reason you might have for being secretive. That’s not what I have a problem with. To me it just sends a really mixed message when you keep something a secret from the people who are obviously going to need to know when it comes right down to it (what is she planning, to just show up next year and say surprise, meet so-n-so, I’ve had another baby?!) yet you post about the so-called ‘secret’ on Facebook for all eyes to see. I think people can get really hurt by that, because you sit there and wonder WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME??! If you’re so excited about it, wouldn’t you have bragged to your family about it first?!

Whatevs. I just think people need to be more aware of what they’re putting out there for all eyes to see if they don’t want all ears to hear it.

Saturday, October 16, 2010

Imagine all the things I could do (if I wasn't so damn tired...)

One of the suckiest things about collecting on ‘me time’ (a luxury that no one should take for granted!) is how it so often gets collected when all the day’s energy is already washed-up.

I thought this morning about all the amazing things I would accomplish during my ‘me time’ today, but little did I know that by the time I’m getting it, now, at nearly 8pm, I am zombie-fied and therefore lack all gumption to do any of it.


Oh well. Best of intentions…Best laid plans…All of that. 'It will keep' is another saying that comes to mind!

Since my bro and s-i-l are moving next week, they needed to get rid of my brother’s old childhood desk (that they were storing for us in their storage unit). I thought it would be cute (and free, yay!) for Andrew to ‘inherit’ my bro’s old bedroom furniture – his desk, matching chair, and chest of drawers (the drawers are still at my parents’ house). Unlike me, who ruined practically everything, my brother kept all his things immaculate. This furniture is obviously not brand new (slightly dated in style) but it looks in pretty much perfect condition! I was planning on painting it from the darker wood colour to something more modern-looking, but now I’ve decided to wait till we’ve moved. Once we have the pieces together in Andrew’s little boy bedroom in our new place, I can decide if it should be a different colour or left as is.

As soon as my bro and s-i-l dropped the desk off today, I told Andrew it was Uncle M’s from when he was a little boy, but that now it was his. He grinned and pointed to the desk and said, ‘Mine!’ When he woke up from his nap tonight I reminded him of his new big boy desk and he smiled sleepily, remembering that it now belongs to him.

For the time being, with his bedroom being the size of a closet and already brimming full, the desk is in our bedroom. Which isn’t exactly how I’d want our room to look, but it actually fits PERFECTLY in the spot it’s in. And will be functional for us at the moment, since we don’t actually have room for a full-sized office type desk in here!

AND it has 3 big drawers and one little one, so – SCORE! – we have some storage space to fill!

Ahhh…cramming so much stuff into such a small space is fun. (Not really, but we don’t have any other choice!)

I dream of what I want our next place to be like but I can’t seem to see it in my mind. I definitely know it’s a lot more spacious. But beyond that I have to see it to know it’s ‘the one.’ I wish so much that we knew already where we’d be. Where’s our next move to? I don’t even know what city it will be in, let alone what it will look like. Gawd I’m going to miss this area SO MUCH when we leave it. So for that reason and that reason alone, I can put up with our cramped space a while longer. I’ve gotten pretty darn good at packing a lot into a small space without it looking totally crammed! (Although I don’t think I’ve got much more space left before it starts to burst at the seams, no matter how hard I try to organize!)

Doctor Nightmareland!

Today I had a dr’s appointment, although it wasn’t to go over my cardiology visit. Gawd, this makes me sound so unhealthy! But now that I know my heart is AWESOME I feel a renewed sense of health in my life so I’m not too concerned! It’s just that I’ve had this stupid cough for a month and a half and its really been getting me down. I can’t sleep much at night because it flairs up when I lay down and I even wake up sputtering and coughing and it just isn’t good. It turns out I have a low grade fever, and I suspect that I’ve had it for a while. I took my temp over a week ago and it was a bit high then, although I thought maybe I’d forgot what the ‘normal’ range is. So that totally explains why I have been SO tired, beyond my usual zombie-state of tired, and also VERY warm, as in sweating and needing the fan on all the time. It’s generally hot in our apartment so I didn’t think a whole lot of it. But anyway...the doctor suggested that rather than taking antibiotics, I try just using a nasal spray to unclog things and then the cough should go away…And I was happy to hear that because I’d really rather not take antibiotics if I don’t have to. Unfortunately, the nasal spray is a total no go for me. I have done it twice today and both times it made me throw up. That stuff is NASTY! I can’t ever do it again, it’s that horrible. So I guess I’ll just get used to have the cough (or perhaps a miracle will occur and just having done it twice will be all I needed to make it go away!)

Andrew wailed through the entire doctor’s appointment. Note to self: Don’t take a toddler to a dr’s appointment if it can be helped.

On a much better note – we had SO MUCH FUN tonight! We took Andrew to the Ghost Train in Stanley Park. It was a really sunny day and, while getting cooler, it felt like good weather for being outside so I thought why not go to the Ghost Train before the rain sets in and we lose our chance.

I’m SO glad we decided to go! It was a blast. James and I went to one about aliens a number of years ago when it was just the two of us and it was the lamest thing ever. So I wasn’t expecting much from this. But I loved it! Sure some things could have been different about it, but over all I was pretty impressed. I should mention the theme of it is ‘Alice in Nightmareland’ and it was awesomely spooky. I actually found some of the actors really quite frightening and I think if I was a child I would have been pretty freaked out by some of it. Other parts made it not so scary and I could hear some kids saying they were scared for a second but then realized it was soooo not scary LOL. But it was really well done. I also thought they had enough ‘free’ stuff happening that if you had kids and wanted them to at least get SOMETHING out of it, you could go without actually taking the train ride or checking out the farmyard (although, of course, those are the main attractions!)

The farmyard was cool too, although so so stinky. I usually love farmyards but this one in particular, for some reason I just find it stinks so bad, it’s almost not worth it. BUT they did have some cool ghoulish displays that were fun to look at, and then we went to pet the animals. Andrew was quite taken by the cows, one in particular started licking my hand and it was absolutely hilarious, Andy was going, ‘Oh!’ and then I stuck his hand out to be licked but he wasn’t too sure about that!

Sometimes I wondered what must be going through his little mind, because some of the creepy stuff we had him looking at must seem bizarre without being able to understand an explanation about it! Hopefully he won’t have nightmares about it! I don’t think he’s old enough yet to really be too spooked by that kind of stuff, and especially with us not acting scared, he had more fun with it than anything.

He actually fell asleep RIGHT at the end of the train ride, but we woke him up to go to the farmyard, which he seemed fine with. Then we went and got some popcorn and a drink and saw raccoons and even a skunk! The first skunk Andrew has ever seen.

He fell asleep almost as soon as we started walking home. I had him in his sling, although he doesn’t fit it too well these days and it ended up not really taking any of his weight for me so my back was sore when we got home. But even though my back was killing me, I absolutely adored carrying him like that, having him all cuddled into me asleep while we walked and enjoyed the peace and serenity of the sea wall. It’s rare that we’re out in the dark at night (I’m still getting used to how dark it is so early – it was only 9pm when we were walking home but it felt like midnight!) It was such a fun night. James had fun too, he was a little more skeptical than me about it maybe, but he still had fun.

I LOVE getting into these sorts of things because to me, it’s the stuff memories are made of. I still find it hard to believe that it’s unlikely Andrew will remember ANY of what we do these days, since first real memories don’t tend to start till 3 or 4 or even later. BUT we’ll have all these fun stories to tell him about all the cool things we did! And I just love seeing his reaction to things and experiencing these moments with him.

So glad we did the Ghost Train tonight. After a quick change when we got home, Andy was sound asleep in bed where he still is now. James and I watched a show, but then he put on a slideshow of old pictures, mostly from about 5-10 years ago when we were living in Burnaby. It was so fun reminiscing and seeing all our old furniture (some is still the same!) and old stuff we got rid of when we moved, and seeing all the silly things we got up to on walks and things. I love doing that from time to time, reflecting on the past and realizing how the things we do now (and photograph) are things we’ll look upon in the years to come.

Thursday, October 14, 2010

My ticker is strong!

Today I had my appointment with the cardiologist. I was worried that the doctor might be mean or gruff, because I’ve had some bad experiences with specialists in the past. I thought they might be a particular breed of people (without bedside manner). BUT this doctor was AMAZING, I am going to say (aside from my family doctor who I do like a lot) this is probably THE BEST doctor I have ever seen.

It was obvious from the get go that he is a problem solver – really, REALLY wants to get to the bottom of why you’re in pain. He was wracking his brain for reasons for the pain I’ve been having. We don’t have any definitive answers, but he did give me a few ideas of things that COULD be causing it, that I can talk to my gp about. He definitely went above and beyond what his role is meant to provide.

While I’d like to have some answers to what ails me, the GREAT news is that my heart appears to be in perfect health!

It is such a load off. And the doctor was very encouraging about it all, he even said he completely understands why I have been so worried, but he was able to give me some pretty convincing reasons for why I don’t need to be.

I still want to get to the bottom of this, but the fact that my heart is healthy is certainly good news!

Monday, October 11, 2010

Thanksgiving celebrations

Tonight James and I hosted Thanksgiving dinner for my parents, brother and s-i-l. I did a lot of the prep work for it last night so today wouldn’t be too stressful. It worked out perfectly. I ended up making a cranberry ricotta quiche (the fancy title is ‘Cranberry and Sweet Onion Cheesecake’) – which I was nervous about because I didn’t know how it would turn out but everyone seemed to really like it. I also made all the usual veg (well, James did the garlic mashed potatoes) – carrots and parsnips, Brussels sprouts, corn, stuffing (from scratch!), gravy, and there was cranberry sauce and olives and beets, oh and I even made some Pillsbury biscuits! It turned out to be a great meal and I think everything was hot enough – that’s always my biggest concern with a lot of food is timing everything just right so it’s all hot.

For dessert we had (from Safeway) an extremely delicious Pumpkin Swirl Cheesecake (seriously, SO GOOD) and pumpkin pie. Yum!

It was a fun evening. I wish our place was a little bigger so everyone could fit more comfortably in our living room, but we managed. Andrew didn’t eat ANYTHING (except for a few bites of dessert…) BUT he had a ton of fun playing, especially with Grampa. They were stacking books into towers and then Andrew would knock them down and he had a field day with this for at least an hour!

We had lots of laughs and it was just nice spending time together. We got GREAT news from my bro and s-i-l that they bought the place they wanted and will be moving in a couple of WEEKS! Very exciting.

It was a great Thanksgiving. James and I even got a date this afternoon while my parents looked after the boy!

THE BOY who is so super cute, I am telling you, he gets cuter by the second and I seriously don’t know how he does it because he was the cutest thing ever since the moment I laid eyes on him at birth.

He STILL won’t take off his new Wiggles t-shirt, I tried to coax him into a dressy shirt for the party tonight but he refused, and putting his jammies on worked for the pants part but then he just held his arms down rigidly so I wouldn’t be able to get the shirt off. LOL It’s the funniest thing ever.

I’m thankful for so many things, but he will always be tops on my list!

A Wiggly afternoon

Today (Sunday the 10th) we took Andrew to see THE WIGGLES WIGGLY CIRCUS SHOW – live!! – at the Pacific Coliseum. We bought the tickets at the end of August and have been so excited ever since. Or at least I was…and my mom…and secretly my dad, and even James, despite he might have tried to act otherwise.

Yes, even my parents went! After all, they’ve invested a lot of time in watching The Wiggles too!

I started telling Andrew the past few days about the concert coming up. I would say to him, ‘Remember how we saw Yo Gabba Gabba live in concert last month?’ and he’d get excited and say, ‘Yeah!’ So I’d say, ‘Well, we’re going to see The Wiggles live, too!’ he would say, ‘Yeah!!’ excitedly, which made me think he had some inkling of what I was saying. But I knew he didn’t REALLY understand…

Until we got there, and he saw the stage from afar. Right away he started pointing excitedly to the stage and said, ‘More, More!’

We luckily got there early enough that it was OK for my mom and I to spend a ton of time waiting in line for merchandise. Because people were cutting in line and they really weren’t organized for selling, imo. I nearly had an altercation with a woman, it was that bad. LOL BUT it all worked out. It’s just so frustrating to me when people blatantly cut in line and then act as if those of us who were obviously there first are somehow in the wrong. Such is concert-going though, it seems to happen every time!

We were excited with our purchases – a plush Murray guitar, a spinning light ‘hyper ball’, a little Wiggles bag and a purple Wiggly Circus t-shirt. Andrew was thrilled to bits when he saw all that stuff was for him!

We got to our seats not too long before the show started. Row 20, seats 5-9. They were great seats, on the floor but no one behind us so we didn’t really feel crammed in. And a great view of the stage.

Andrew was DELIGHTED when The Wiggles appeared on stage. He looked at us and was like, ‘Ooooh!’ and pointing at the stage, then looking at us again, clapping his hands. He was in awe. There they were, THE WIGGLES, after all those times of watching their tv shows and dvds. It was like a dream come true. No, it WAS a dream come true! I felt it too!!

Murray sadly wasn’t there (he’s the red Wiggle) due to family stuff back home in Australia. He was missed, but the guy Ringo who filled in for him was great, I could see him as the 5th wiggle! The performance was awesome, seriously amazing seeing them live. At one point they came around to collect roses for Dorothy and bones for Wags the Dog, but we didn’t have any. BUT Jeff (purple Wiggle, who happens to be Andrew and my mom’s fave Wiggle!) happened to be collecting right near us so I took Andrew up to him and he smiled and waved and said Hello right to us! Andrew was so excited. The whole rest of the day and tonight he kept saying, ‘Jeff!’ and then he’d wave to say I MET JEFF AND HE SAID HI TO ME!!!!! He is going to be talking about that for a long time, I’m sure of it!

It was SO MUCH FUN, I can’t say it enough. They sang most of our favourite songs, of course they have sooo many it would be impossible to hear them all, but it was a great set. And we made a sign that said, ‘Andrew always giggles when he watches The Wiggles’ and Sam (yellow Wiggle) read it out and said, ‘That’s fantastic!’ which we thought was pretty cool! Kudos to my mom for coming up with that one =)

I just LOVED SO MUCH seeing the excitement written all over Andrew’s face. Worth every penny and way more. He was totally taken by the whole experience.

In fact, it was too much for him! He ended up falling fast asleep with about 15-20 minutes left in the show! LOL It was hilarious. We all took turns holding him, well at that point my dad had him standing on his lap and you could just see him sort of tipping forward and struggling to stay awake. Finally, he said, ‘Mom-mom’ so I took him and immediately he was burrowed into my shoulder and sound asleep. LOL He often falls asleep toward the end of a Wiggles dvd at bedtime so maybe there was an association there. Also, I think he was just so excited about the whole experience that he literally couldn’t take any more!

My mom and I had a great time singing along to all the songs, we really got into it. It was THE BEST way to spend an afternoon. I would definitely take Andrew again if and when they come back!

Andy wore his Wiggles shirt at the concert and then when we got home I wanted to give him a bath. He has NEVER done this over a piece of clothing EVER, in fact he’s always happy to have his clothes off and just be naked. But this afternoon he had an absolute meltdown when I made him take the shirt off for his bath, and he cried and cried till I took him out of the bath before he’d even been washed and put the shirt back on him! Needless to say, he wore it to bed tonight. LOL Cutest thing ever!

Tuesday, October 05, 2010

I want to be positive but in this instance it's a little tough...

While it hasn’t happen yet, it is officially official. The m-i-l is moving to Vancouver. Full-time.

Her husband didn’t take kindly to the idea of having a ‘part-time marriage.’ Surprise, surprise. What SHOULDN’T be a surprise is the fact that she even suggested it, and was mad at him for not being enthusiastic about it. But, even for her, that seems a bit over the top. Nah, scrap that, what am I talking about it’s so her.

Gawd, that would be like me saying to James, you know sweetums, I love ya, but how about I go live across the country for ¾ of the year. And spend your money while I do so. I’ll see you for, like, 4 or 5 months of the year, what’s the big deal?! Did we seriously vow to love each other ALL YEAR LONG??! You ask so much of me!


Anyway. So I totally don’t blame her husband for backing out of the deal, it’s just too bad because while I always thought they were a bit of a strange couple (and got hitched a little too soon considering they hadn’t even known each other a year at the time) – I always hoped it would work out. The country between us became my security blanket in a way. Because it was complicated when she lived out here. And I don’t see it being anything but MORE complicated when she moves back.

She plans on living here BEFORE CHRISTMAS.

Jeezus help me. Help us all!!

I’m trying not to get too wrought up about it when a) there’s nothing I can do, I can’t control where she chooses to live and b) it hasn’t actually happened yet so why spend silly amounts of energy on something when we haven’t even see it occur. But…BUT!!! It’s hard not to get that sinking feeling every time I think about her or her name is mentioned.

So I don’t know what happens next, but I feel as though we’ll have to write up a dossier of rules and boundaries before she arrives. Which in and of itself sounds ridiculous and probably won’t even be done, at least not to that level, but it’s something going through my mind and I know to some degree even James is thinking along those lines. He really sees her in a different light than me, though he does see my point of view, too. It’s his mother, so I guess he feels more inclined to care about her. Whereas for me, she is the monster-in-law. Honestly, I wish it wasn’t that way, but it is.

We just have to learn to live our lives with her in it to some degree but also with our boundaries, and being OK with setting them, even if it means her freaking out at us. If she freaks out at us, she is going to find more and more pulling away, because I won’t be putting up with that on a regular basis. I’m sick enough of it with her living across the country, I really REALLY don’t need all the BS right in my backyard.

Anyway. That is the latest. I’ve had a week to process it. It has yet to be compartmentalized, but it’s happening and I’m going to have to face it somehow.

Monday, October 04, 2010

Rainy days

These pictures were taken a couple of weeks ago. Andy's first puddle experience with his new boots!

I have a feeling there will be a lot of these afternoons in our near future...

Weekend stuff

Yesterday (Saturday) James and I had a date, thanks to his bro for looking after the boy. We went to Stanley’s Pub & Grill in Stanley Park and had beer and shared some onion rings (big mistake, more on that later). It was so nice to be sitting outside on the patio, no heat lamps, on October 2nd and feel warm!

We closed the place down – sounds like we were there all night but no, as it happens they close at 5 during the off-summer seasons! We didn’t realize it when we got there around 4, but it was fine with us as we hadn’t planned to stay too long anyway. We went and sat by a little statue thing on a bench hoping to make-out a little (such a rare thing for us to get to do these days!) but it seemed like everyone and their dog wanted to check out the statue and take pictures of it. So after a few kisses and conversation, we moseyed along and took some pictures of our own along the way.
We weren’t ready to go home yet so we stopped in at the Crime Lab for a drink in the lounge. It was nice to sit inside there as every time we’ve been before we’ve always sat outside and didn’t get to enjoy the ambience of inside.

The time went by WAY TOO FAST and that is my only complaint about our dates in general. I always look so forward to our time out because it’s such a treat but then it flashes before my eyes and suddenly its time to go home.

Just as we got off the elevator, the b-i-l was bringing Andrew home from the park. He was asleep in his stroller, and had apparently only fallen asleep a few seconds before. We didn’t want to let him sleep for too long because it would mean a really late night for us (or so we thought) so we gave him a 20 minute nap and then woke him up.

I had to go over to my bro and s-i-l’s to pill their cat for them (she has a brain tumour and has seizures if she doesn’t get her meds twice a day) and James’ plan was to keep the boy awake…but when I got back he was sound asleep. No matter what James did to try to wake him up or entertain him, he just kept falling back asleep. Which isn’t totally unusual when it comes to him being disturbed from a nap, but still…Our concern was that he’d wake up at like 9 or 10pm and want to be up all night long and one of us would have to be up with him.

And to make matters worse, I suddenly became violently ill. I only had 2 drinks so I don’t blame it on the booze. I’m positive it was the onion rings. My tummy can’t handle that kind of grease for some reason, it just churns in my belly until I throw it up. I have learned my lesson FOR SURE this time. It’s a very rare occasion I would eat onion rings but I vow from here on in to never, ever touch another one NO MATTER WHAT. I honestly don’t think it will be that hard to do, they’re kind of gross anyway, when you think about it.

So I was sick, sick, sick and thought I was going to die, die, die. James made me a snack after I threw up because my stomach was soooo empty and I knew I wouldn’t be able to sleep if I didn’t absorb SOMETHING. Then we decided to go to bed early (just before 11pm) because Andrew STILL hadn’t woken up and we were sure we were in for it in terms of him being up all night. Best we get a few zzz’s while we could.

Well…at 11pm the building fire alarm starts going off!

Andrew was sleeping on the couch, which is VERY close to where the intercom thing is that sounds the alarm from the ceiling. Well, he didn’t even stir! Not a bit! He was oblivious.

I was sure if we took him outside he would wake up and then we’d REALLY be in for it, he’d be wired and be up all night and I had just taken 2 gravol to calm my stomach and wasn’t feel well AT ALL. Still very barfy.

BUT the alarm just kept on going off. We have only had probably 3 false alarms since living here (which is NOTHING to me, in comparison to our last place!) but generally it seems they come onto the intercom and say it’s a false alarm after a few minutes…But they didn’t…So we thought we’d better get outside.

We got dressed and then I picked Andrew up off the couch and grabbed my jacket and wrapped it around the boy and we were off.

Luckily we only have 8 flights to go down (not 16 like our old place!) so it wasn’t so bad…But the crazy thing is that Andrew didn’t wake up! He apparently opened his eyes for a split second when we first got outside – James saw him look over my shoulder – but that was it. He slept through us sitting outside for about 20 minutes waiting for the OK to go back in and he slept through the elevator ride where we were stuffed on with tons of people. When we got in, I took my jacket off him and put him back on the couch and he just curled up into his favourite sleep position with his bum up in the air and that was that!


So tell me this…Why is it that THE ONE NIGHT HE SLEEPS RIGHT THROUGH I end up getting the worst night sleep I’ve had in ages?!?!! Let’s re-cap the night’s events, shall we?! We have a fire alarm just as I am drifting to sleep, then I sleep for less than 3 hours and toss and turn during that time and then wake up at 3am feeling SO SICK…but not wanting to get up to throw up for fear it would wake the boy…So I just lay there feeling sick sick sick. Then, as time goes on, I start to worry that something has happened to the boy because it’s not like him to sleep through like that. So I’m feeling ill but also worried, but too afraid to get up and check on him because I’m so concerned something has happened and I don’t know what I would do! LOL Absolutely ridiculous. Finally I was just feeling so sick yet hungry at the same time at 5am, so I got up and had cheese and crackers and watched tv and even THAT didn’t wake the boy!! Finally he woke up at 6:30 and I got his diaper changed, fed him some Yop and a bagel with cheese (he hadn’t eaten for over 12 hours by that point!) and we cuddled and played and all was well. I was still feeling kind of grim so at 7 I woke James up and he took over so I could sleep, and while I had nightmares and tossed and turned, I got at least 2 hours of rest in. I feel way better now, not 100% but getting close. What a night, though!

I still have no clue what’s up with all that sleep Andrew got. A growth spurt maybe?! I can’t figure him out. It’ll be interesting to see how things go tonight. As long as I’m not sick again, whatever happens will be alright by me.

UPDATE: A pic of the boy taken a few minutes ago. Asleep for now...(on the couch)...but only he knows how long for!!

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