Thursday, September 30, 2010

Why not dwell on the GOOD instead?

My brother and s-i-l both (although my s-i-l is far worse) have a very negative outlook on life and the world in general.

While there’s nothing wrong with seeing that there IS a negative side to both life and the world more generally – it’s not all peaches and cream, after all – it can be really depressing to spend hours hearing the negative spin on everything when there is a positive side as well.

I definitely have a negative streak in me, it seems to run in the family. There is a lot of negative-attitude happening in my family, actually. It seems a common thing for a lot of people I know (family or not) to dwell on the negative. Maybe it’s part of human nature, although part of me wonders if it’s a slightly more modern-day trend?

I don’t have a problem with people (myself included) complaining about the things that bother us about the world. If we didn’t acknowledge the negative, it would be pretty hard to work toward something better. It’s healthy and natural to recognize what could be better about humankind and society.

BUT…

I can hear James’ boss saying this (I still can’t believe he died, but anyway…) – If you’re going to tell me there’s a problem that’s fine, AS LONG AS YOU ARE ALSO GOING TO OFFER A SOLUTION.

Mind you, my s-i-l’s ‘solution’ to the world’s problems is that humans should cease to exist because we’re all worthless and life is pointless and blah blah blah, I’m not entirely sure, given her view of things, why she hasn’t gone ahead and drunk the grape koolaid already.

Yes, there are bad people out there. No, the world isn’t fair to anyone. There’s no way of having all the answers we feel we ‘need’ to be able to cope better with life in general. But why not make the most of it?

I take comments like ‘humans are worthless and the world just needs to end’ not only seriously but to heart. I have always been a bit of an idealist and have hoped that the world could (and can) become a better place if we work toward it. But especially now that I have a child, I am even more inclined to want things to ‘work out’ for the world. I want to protect the earth, I want to have a positive outlook, I want to do my part to make the world a good place at the very least, if not a better one.

It just doesn’t make sense to be such a downer about everything. Why waste your energy on so much negativity? That bad energy gets out into the universe and all it does is perpetuate more bad energy. Life doesn’t have to be such a vicious circle, you don’t have to let it get to you that badly!

Especially with where we’re from and all that we have. It could be SO MUCH WORSE, ultimately we should just be thanking our lucky stars that we have the lives that we do!

I love my brother and I love my s-i-l. But enough is enough! I enjoy their company but at the same time they can be so depressing. If you think life sucks so much, what are you going to do about it? Stop whinging and moaning and be proactive!

I get into slumps sometimes, I’m not going to deny it. I can view things in the harshest light. But when all is said and done, I like to think we are here for a reason, and I don’t see why that reason has to be a bad one.

And I reeeeeally don’t want ANYONE to feel sorry for me because I have a child. My s-i-l seems to pity those who choose to ‘give up their lives’ to be parents. Whereas I don’t see it that way. Having Andrew is the greatest gift on the planet and I have no regrets – even if sometimes it does feel as though ‘my’ life is on hold. I could look at it that way and I suppose get down in the dumps about it. OR I can take the view that I have more often than not, which is that my life isn’t on hold at all, but rather began the moment he came into this world! I see the beauty in things so much more because I’m seeing things through a fresh pair of eyes. His delight becomes mine. I have so much more to live for now and more of a drive to be happy and positive because it’s not just going to affect ME how I feel, but HIM. Why would anyone pity me and this life I chose? I couldn’t be happier.

I just don’t understand some people’s desire to be so depressing. It seems as though a large part of it is for the reaction it causes, but that just seems so sad to me when I really get to thinking about it. Why does it seem so much easier to get NEGATIVE attention than POSITIVE attention????? It seems to be a trend that people seek out attention by doing negative things when there are so many good things they could say or do and it would get them a far better return.

So while at times I may complain and I do find myself wanting to be realistic about things and not always TOTALLY idealistic…which puts a bit of a negative spin on things – I really REALLY want to strive to be more of an upbeat person, because that is the message I want to be putting out there. It’s not all rainbows and blue skies and we’re all faced with many challenges throughout life. But you don’t have to let it get the better of you. The bad stuff does not have to outweigh the good.

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