Showing posts from October, 2009

On a lighter note...

Andrew is 10 months old today! His first Halloween. His costume to be revealed shortly =)

He is the cutest thing ever and each and every day he gets even CUTER and my heart melts a little more. He is soooo freaking delightful it’s spooktacular!

OK that was a tad corny but it had to be done =P

He is changing so much, and is becoming more and more fun all the time. He took 4 steps tonight and did it again, running happily toward his Dada. He is going to be full-fledged walking in no time.

My little baby boy is growing up!

He is really interested in his books now. We have certain ones that I read to him every day and as soon as I open to the first page he looks me in the eye and grins till his face is all scrunched up. I read his books over and over, he seems to enjoy the repetition.

He will even sometimes flip the pages on his own.

He dances up a storm, too. He loves to press the buttons on his toy house to play music, then he bounces around and does a sort of twist motion while claspi…

Nice, that's really nice, thanks.

Not my pumpkin but I thought given it's Halloween and there's an 'L' on the forehead - it's appropriate!

Isn’t it just wonderful when you spend all this time and effort pouring your heart out to try to make things better with someone, only for them to slap you so hard in the face that you don’t know what hit you but you know it hurt?

That’s where I’m at right now. And not even with the m-i-l! OMG this just keeps getting better, doesn’t it?

This is the b-i-l. Cut from the same cloth as the m-i-l. Both s-o-b’s!


If you can’t find humour in things, well…

I’m currently speechless on the topic, wowed by the lack of response. It wasn’t much of a response yet it said so much, if you know what I mean.

I often wonder: how is it that these people were part of James’ immediate family growing up? His own mother. And brother. How could he even be related to these people? He is so kind, caring, considerate, loving, giving, compassionate, level-headed, wonderful. And they …

Airing dirty laundry

I started writing a journal on my computer in 1999, although only in the past 4-5 years has it become more regular. I was going back through some archives this morning, trying to find tidbits on a certain someone so I could give them concrete examples of their behaviour since they seem to need a reminder of their shenanigans over the years.

I skimmed the entries and didn’t look back at everything since obviously I don’t have the time to be doing that at the moment. But what I did look at – some I found interesting and I AM glad that I kept a record of thoughts/feelings/random things that were going through my mind. But there is also a lot of angst – me being an early twenty something trying to figure out the age old question of WHO AM I. It’s actually kind of depressing looking back on that! I still don’t have many answers and I still don’t know entirely ‘who I am’ but for some reason it doesn’t matter quite as much to me right now. I definitely don’t feel nearly as sad about no…

[Anger] Issues

Sooooooooooo many frustrations.

Family issues.

Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy do people have to be so FRUSTRATING?

I am currently jealous of birds.

They reach a certain stage of their development, then they fly away and are free.


Except of course I don’t want to imagine Andrew flying off never to bother with me again so…I guess that wouldn’t work out after all!

I just have so much going on with so many different people. Dealing with a very depressed person who doesn’t seem to want to make any changes to get better. Then there’s a totally self-centered person who won’t take accountability for herself and is wasting our time because as far as I’m concerned she’s never going to change so I don’t know why we even bother. Then there are those who are on our case about not visiting as much but then when we’re going to be visiting, cancel plans with us to spend time with someone else. That someone else being a big baby who shouldn’t have to steal them away but is because of his hissy…

A day at the fair

I’m eating an Oh Henry bar and it’s oh so delicious!

Today we went to a baby fair at Canada Place. It was good – we entered to win all sorts of prizes at the various booths that were there. When I went to a wedding fair with my mom a few years back, I ended up winning our wedding invitations so it’d be great to win something again!

When we first got there Andrew kept grinning at this woman who was working there. She asked if he was a crawler and we said Oh yeah! Well it turns out they were doing a baby crawling race so we put Andrew in the first one of the day. It was so funny – when they said Go! none of the 4 babies in the race moved a muscle! They were all a bit frightened by everyone suddenly cheering them on. They didn’t know what to do. Finally one of the babies started moving and then one of the other families cheated (in my books) by getting their daughter to slowly walk along to egg their son on to crawl as she walked. Andrew got a little ways along but then he threw h…

Just hanging around

Andrew’s napping – has been for a while now. I was smart about his last feeding and took him to our bed so I could rest too. I ended up getting an hour of sleep – MUCH needed! I could have slept longer but the stupid construction noise is too much for me. Luckily it doesn’t seem to bother Andrew at all!

On Tuesday at our mom/baby group, Andrew demonstrated how to have his teeth brushed. He was the only baby there with many teeth so it made sense for him to be the example baby! LOL I didn’t realize we should be using toothpaste this young, whenever I’ve brushed his teeth before I just used the toothbrush with a bit of water. But the teeniest tiniest amount of toothpaste is ok (since baby will swallow it, you can’t use much). He cried when he was held down to be brushed BUT was fine as soon as he was sitting up again. It was really cute because I went to that session when Andrew was about 4 months old and didn’t have any teeth yet at all – and then there we were, demonstrating …

A few finished projects

I keep putting writing on the back burner in order to get other things done. It’s a shame, because there is so much I want to record and remember! I did jot down a few things to write about later so hopefully it will happen. Still haven’t written about those horrible dreams I had…but maybe they’re best left forgotten anyway.

Due to the fact that Andrew has taken to not wanting to sleep much at night the past few nights, he’s taken to taking much longer naps through the day. While I am very tired, unless he was to nap at my usual crash time (anywhere from 3-5pm), I can’t nap with him during the day. For one, I find it’s my only time to get stuff done, but the other reason is traffic noise, the brightness of daylight shining through the cracks in the blinds…I just can’t fall asleep, even though I daydream often of getting a good chunk of sleep!

Yesterday while he slept I managed to just about finish the game we’re making for my aunt and uncle. We’re giving it to them tonight – I JU…

As a side note, it's Emma Dilemma's 12th birthday today! Happy Birthday to my no. 1 B&W Springer Spaniel :)

Written Oct 15th:

I am guilty of not washing the floors as I had planned to tonight…although perhaps I still will. If not, there’s always tomorrow!!

BUT aside from that one detail – I accomplished everything on my ‘to do’ list for today! YAY me!! It doesn’t tend to happen often that I get that much done in a day. It was little things, such as updating our pictures on flickr, sending an email to R&B, getting in touch with our cat groomer, ordering GD Tass online…Little things but my list just keeps growing and the more I put things off, the worse it gets. So I’m breathing a sigh of relief tonight for having taken care of a chunk of it.

I even signed Andrew up for his next swim class – which doesn’t start till January but fills up fast so we’re now guaranteed a spot =) Some of the moms enrolled in the same class again that we just took, and I’m now thinking maybe I should have done the same (but can’t now because it’s full). But on the other hand, he wouldn’t be learning anythin…

One of those nights...

I have a harder time than ever with ‘emotions’ since Andrew was born…I try so very hard not to feel down in the dumps or be too affected by things because I know that if I let myself get all blah, I HAVE to pick myself back up as soon as Andrew needs me. I prefer to try not to let things get the better of me because it’s sooo hard feeling like total crap and then having to smile and sing and make light with the baby. Does that make sense?

He also just helps in general to make me feel happier more often. I’m more positive in general because of him. But every now and then something comes up because heaven forbid all should be well all the time, right?

Not that all is well ever, really. If I had my way things would be a lot better than they seem to be for some people but I can’t control the way other people feel and react to things.


I don’t think I’m explaining this right. At all. I probably shouldn’t even be writing anything right now because my mind feels racey and my thought…

Post-Thanksgiving post

So tired…And COLD! We’ve been lucky with the weather but it’s getting dreary now. There’s something I love about fall – the crispness in the air, the nostalgia that hits when the leaves change colour and fall to the ground. It’s exciting that it’s Andrew’s first fall (on the outside!) I just don’t enjoy how I’m feeling chilled to the bone, from the tips of my fingers right into my toes. I want to go have a hot bubble bath.

At least racing after the boy means I am usually sweating and NOT feeling so chilly! Plus, today is the first day that it has started raining – and even at that it has barely happened – so I can’t really complain!

We had a nice long weekend. Saturday we got some groceries and I did some prep work for our Thanksgiving dinner. We weren’t going to bother with doing a ‘traditional’ meal but we caved and ended up getting a tofurky =) Sunday we went for a nice stroll through Lost Lagoon to third beach and home. It was such a nice day and Andrew enjoyed a bit of a …

Shopping with baby

We’re skipping out on storytime/singalong today. I had hoped to take Andrew, but he’s napping and it starts in 15 minutes. Logistically, there’s no way we’d get there in time and he’d be super fussy if he woke up because he hasn’t nursed for quite a few hours.
We just got home a little while ago. I was planning to go out tonight on my own to do a bit of shopping, but I decided to take Andrew with me this morning on a ‘trial run’ to see if I can go shopping with him! I have never taken him clothes shopping for me without someone else being there. I rarely go clothes shopping anyway but I didn’t think I’d be able to do it with a baby in tow.

However, I am happy to report that it went super well! I found a whole section of clothes at The Bay that I loved and I ended up getting a bit more than what I had planned on. I have to find something dressy still, to wear to my cousin’s wedding next month, but otherwise I feel like I pretty much have everything I need for a fall wardrobe. I’m…

Daydreaming of sleep...

Oh how I sometimes wish we could trade places!

Blowing bubbles

Written last night (one of these days I’ll be up to date with posting!):

Swimming went well this morning. We blew bubbles with straws. Andrew loved the straw and wanted to hold it the rest of class – tho eventually he lost it!

After class and feeding him – milk AND solids – he fell asleep in his stroller on the walk home so I took the opportunity to go to Baby Gap. Got a few cute onesies for him just because I couldn’t resist them…and I also got some things that will help complete his Halloween costume – which I am sort of making/sort of had someone else help in the making of! I’m SO excited about it. Oh and Andrew won a ‘cutest baby’ contest recently so we’re getting some professional pics taken and we chose to do that just before Halloween so we can get a few pics of him in his cute little costume =)

We were out for close to 4 hours this morning before coming home. I was able to have a quick bath without Andrew fussing – just to wash off some of the chlorine from the pool. Then …

La dee da

Written Oct 6/09 – sometime in the evening:

Andrew is 21lbs again! He’s gained the half pound he lost last month from being so active. Not that he isn’t still active because he’s more insane than ever, but it’s good to know he’s gaining and not continuing to lose – it must mean he’s eating well!

He would be mortified to know I am posting this but his poos are big boy poos now! As in, fairly solid. Much easier for cleaning up, that’s for sure. Stinky but cleaner!! lol

Last night James started putting those really annoying clips on the cupboards (annoying for us because it’s a process to open everything now!) But at least I’ll be able to start letting Andrew roam the kitchen a bit more without having to watch him quite as closely! I still watch him of course but at least I know he can’t get into as much trouble (yet!) We also have a gate on the solarium doorway so he can’t go in there and muck with the cats’ food dishes or their water.

I find it a lot easier in some ways to give …

Backtracking here...

Written just after 3am on Oct 6:

Andrew’s typical bed time (or…the FIRST bedtime of the night…before he’s up for middle-of-the-night feeds and cuddles…) is between 8 and 9pm. Tonight he was in bed for little more than half an hour before he was crying and desperate to get up. Usually if this happens he goes back to sleep after about 10-15 minutes of nursing. Not tonight, however. No, tonight he didn’t go back to sleep till about 12:30am. It was a struggle to get him to go back to sleep but FINALLY he gave in and couldn’t help but drift to sleep. James said, ‘Going to bed this late, he should sleep right through the night now.’

Funny – I didn’t even say a word to this. I’ve come to the point lately that I don’t even know what ‘sleeping through’ even means anymore. I WISH it would happen but I tend not to want to get my hopes up.

And for good reason, obviously.

At 3:12am I am awake, waiting at this point with crossed fingers that he’s drifted back to sleep to the soothing sounds of…

How things change

I’ve been searching high and low for a simple rain jacket. Do you think I can find one anywhere? What is up with that – I live in VANCOUVER – it’s the rain city for crying out loud! And I can’t find a simple light rain jacket to save my life.


Had Andrew’s great aunt and uncle over for a visit tonight – that was fun! He slept through most of it but entertained them for a little while =)

In other news…

It’s interesting how things can change over time. My very best friend throughout grade 12 started going out with my brother about a year after we became friends. As soon as they were a couple, she dropped me like a hot potato. They moved to the mainland at the same time I did – my brother was going to UBC and she and I were going to SFU. I moved into residence, they moved into an apartment together. They stayed together for over 4 years. In that time, it became increasingly difficult to have a relationship with my brother because she didn’t want me to be a part of his life. …

Date night!

Andrew’s new thing (for the past 2 nights) is not only not sleeping through the night, but wanting to be up for hours on end through the night. Usually it’s more like a 20 minute thing of nursing and going back to bed but no, now we’re up for about 2 hours because he refuses to go back to sleep. I’ve put him back in his crib now but he’s not sleeping. At least he’s calmed and is playing but I still can’t go to bed myself because he makes too much noise that the monitor would set off every few minutes. Aaaahhh, what I wouldn’t do for a good night’s sleep! All you people out there who are actually able to have a solid chunk of sleep, DON’T TAKE IT FOR GRANTED!!! ENJOY IT!!!!!

Last night we went out for dinner with James’ half sister and her boyfriend. We rarely ever see his sister. She lives in Victoria and while we all get along well, James didn’t actually grow up with her so it’s not your typical ‘brother/sister’ relationship. We probably only talk a few times a year and see e…