Saturday, September 26, 2009


James went to Victoria today. I got up when he brought the boy to me for a feed and he kissed me goodbye. It’s a short trip but still I miss him. Especially at night time when it’s quiet and Andrew has gone to bed. I’m not used to being alone. It’s good for me though, this time on my own to just think and be in my own head. I actually don't worry about being alone like I once did. Maybe it's a maturity thing, or maybe it's because I'm not actually alone! I have Andrew =)

He had play time this morning and then we met up with my mom for coffee. Andrew enjoyed having some of the foam from my latte! Then my mom looked after Andrew here at the apartment while I went and got my hair cut. I need the roots touched up too but I opted to just get a cut this time and in another month I will get the colour done too. I’m thinking maybe of doing something different with the colour next time but I’m not sure yet. Maybe I need a change. The cut is the same, just re-done and it feels sooo good to have it thinned out and texturized again. My hair is TOO thick. Too thick is better than too thin but seriously, I really have too much hair and when it’s a shorter style I’m going with it really shows as it’s growing in. But anyway, it feels good to have it done. I would go with a different style but this one is perfect for me right now. I like the way it looks and it is super low maintenance, which suits my lifestyle!

It was nice to get out on my own for a bit, though I didn’t do anything after the haircut. Just came home. My mom had a great time with Andrew while I was out – lots of play time and then he slept while cuddling her for quite a while. He loves his Gramma =)

I made us some lunch and we hung out here for a while, then went to the hotel so I could take Andrew into the pool. It was windy out but we went in anyway – luckily the pool was heated! It was a bit cool when we got out but not too bad actually. And to be going in an outdoor pool in late September in Vancouver – that’s pretty impressive!

Andrew enjoyed the water, although I don’t think he liked having the sun in his eyes. But we had fun splashing around and I got him practicing his Rocket Ship and Starfish holds from swim class. I didn’t dunk him though =D But he did manage to get his face in the water a few times – his own doing, by accident of course – and he didn’t get upset at all. He’s going to love the water so much when he can actually swim. I’m so glad he’s not afraid of the water.

After that we hung out in my mom’s hotel room and after playing and feeding (including eating almost a whole strawberry!) Andrew fell asleep. I brought him home just before 9 and he was quite fussy for a while but now he’s sound asleep in his crib. I’m not too hopeful that he’s going to sleep through, although it sure would be nice…

I am happy on certain levels but I am still feeling sad. Can’t quite shake it just yet. I don’t know, maybe I’m just overtired and need some proper rest in order to see things differently. I know I have to compartmentalize these feelings. I don’t even know what’s causing it. I guess I am just going through a little mini crisis. It isn’t that bad – it could definitely be far worse. I’m not dwelling. I just sort of feel blah when I really get to thinking about certain things and I have cried quite a bit today – when I’ve been alone. I just need to get some feelings out since I so rarely cry.

I’m looking forward to tomorrow though. We have some fun plans, something I’ve been wanting to do for a while. So that’s good.

I think I’ll go have a bubble bath and then maybe read and try to get to sleep early. Although I just realized it’s after 10, which is starting to feel late to me – which is sooooo weird since I am such a night person usually! But 6-7am comes early, even more so when you’re up through the night as well!

Funny how life changes.

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