Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Always look on the bright side of life

Random tidbit: We watched Jay Leno’s new show last night and I’m happy that Kevin Eubanks went with him, and I am also very happy that he’s still doing Headlines! I love Headlines. It’s pretty much the same show at a new time.

It’s so hard to find the time to do a whole lot from my list of ‘to do’. I don’t know what ‘time management’ means right now. I do a pretty good job most of the time – I mean, I manage to take care of Andrew, make sure we’re getting out and doing new things so he can learn and have new experiences all the time. I do that while also managing to keep the apartment clean and relatively organized. And have supper on the table when James gets home! I manage to get where we’re supposed to be on time and with everything we need. I’m not totally scattered – although my brain often feels like it is. BUT I just don’t have a lot of time to do other things, such as write (I have been posting lately, but I never have time to really delve into anything in my writing or get all the things written out that I really want to). Andrew’s scrapbook and album are in need of work – desperately in need. But having the time AND the energy is key for such projects and having both of those things at the same time doesn’t really happen much at all these days. By the time Andrew is in his crib sleeping, I just want to veg and hang out with James. Maybe this weekend I will find a few hours to do some scrapbooking…

Switching topics now...

I am REALLY feeling worried about the person in my life who is severely depressed and in need of serious help. It’s really hard when the person KNOWS what their issues are and has already had years of intensive therapy to help guide them but they still seem to be sinking into a hole they can’t see themselves getting out of. I feel really sad that they seem to have given up, as if they are doomed to a life of misery. I’ve done every single thing I can possibly think of to help but to no avail. I don’t know what else to do. I have to take a step back but it’s really, really hard to do that. It’s so hard to watch someone you love spiral out of control and show no real effort in trying to change their situation. I know depression makes it very difficult to make positive changes but eventually it’s that or your life. I wish people could see how much they have to live for and focus on what they HAVE rather than what they don’t. I have to stay positive for Andrew and I want to see things in a better light because I think people spend far too much time stressing and being unhappy about things beyond their control and I don’t want to get caught up in the doom and gloom.

We all have bad days. I don’t have life figured out. But I’m sort of starting to realize that I probably never will have it totally figured out, and that’s OK! I’m a lot more content in life than I was before. I still have major concerns about things (it would be weird if I didn’t, given the state of the world in some ways) but I also want to see the glass as half full. There is a lot of pain and strife out there but there is also so much goodness and so much to be grateful for.

The other night James and I watched The Passionate Eye, an episode titled 102 Minutes that Changed the World. It was about the World Trade Center towers collapsing, with unseen footage from many perspectives. It was very, very hard to watch, even though I had of course already seen a lot of footage on it. It was such a devastating event for so many people and I can’t even imagine what it must have been like to be a part of it, both for the people who tragically died in it and for those who survived.

It has stuck with me but I am trying to channel it in a positive light. It really made me put things into better perspective and remember how delicate and precious life is. All those people who died – nearly 3000 people – thought they would be home for dinner that night, brushing their teeth and going to bed to wake up the next morning. No one could have fathomed what was to happen that morning in less than 2 hours time. It’s crazy. Watching the footage felt like watching a movie and it was so disturbing to know it was real. I just thank my lucky stars each day that I have and try to focus on the up side of things because you really never know when it all might be taken away.

I have pictures to sort, but no time to do it now. Andrew is napping and in a little while we have our mom and baby group to go to. But hopefully tonight I can work on the pictures and get some posted. I am in need of a picture post to lighten things up!

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