Monday, August 31, 2009

Another week

Gah, where does the time go?
I am going to start monthly resolutions rather than yearly. Maybe that way I will actually get somewhere with my goals. My main one for September is going to be to write something every single day. Hopefully I will post something on my blog every day, but if not at least I’ll have written something in my journal. I used to record almost everything, whether it be our day to day activities, Andrew’s latest developments, or things that might be weighing on my mind. When I look back at my journals monthly, I see tons of entries and then August? Almost nil.

On the other hand, maybe that’s a good sign that we’ve been too busy spending time out in the beautiful sunshine?
We sure have been getting out a lot more lately. Which was my goal for August. Yay, achieved it! We get out every day and often we’re out for the entire afternoon. I can’t believe there’s only a few hours left before James gets home for the night when we’ve been out for so long, because the time just whizzes by. So much better than sitting indoors and trying to while away the time with the same activities over and over again.

So not looking forward to the rain of fall and winter months…BUT we do have some indoor activities already planned: swimming lessons, weekly meet-ups at the community centres in our area, storytime/sing-along classes, and possibly I’ll start taking Andrew to the weekly gymboree!

This past week we went to 2 mom/baby meet-ups with a new group we joined recently. It’s great – there’s an online site and people post as to what activities are being held and where and you sign up so you can know who else is going and how many are expected to be there. It’s such a great way to meet other moms and their babes. Last week we went to a Starbucks get-together and then to a storytime/sing-along at the library. I was talking to the woman running the storytime before the class and said I wasn’t sure if Andrew was old enough to really enjoy it (I was worried he’d get fussy). Well as it turns out, he absolutely loved it and kept grinning! Especially during books that involved animal noises. I guess because he’s used to hearing them – I often will say, ‘What does the cow say, Andrew?’ and it’s as if he’s sitting there anticipating the ‘MooooOOOoooooo!’ that follows! At Lost Lagoon today we stopped to look out at the ducks and I said, ‘The duck says, Quack! Quack QUACK quack QUACK quack!’ He thought that was hilarious and gave me a big toothy grin. Have I mentioned lately that I LOVE THAT BOY??!!!!

On Thursday we met up with a group of moms/babies at Stanley Park for a picnic and then we checked out the Farmyard. Andrew enjoyed seeing more goats, although I kept him in his stroller to prevent him from bugging at them too much, since he likes to pull their fur. He did pinch the nose of a curious goat that came over to say hello. LOL And 2 goats decided to scratch their horns on the wheels of the stroller. When a third came along to do the same, we decided we’d better get a move on. What’s weird is that there were at least 5 other strollers nearby – why they only wanted the Quinny wheels is beyond me, but they were going nutty for them!

It was great getting out and chatting with other moms and meeting their little ones. Do not underestimate the importance of adult conversations!! I have become accustomed to the baby babble and it’s good to use a proper vocabulary from time to time! LOL Nah, it’s not that bad, and I do talk to Andrew with actual words, not just babble! But it’s also good to hear what other babies are up to, get tips from other moms who have already been where we are now.

Which reminds me – today is Andrew’s 8 month birthday! Wow, 8 months ago my little baby boy was born. And now, what would I ever do without him? I can’t even remember my life pre-Andrew. We have one of those digital picture frames and I had it on the other day. A picture popped up of James and I on our 10 year anniversary (December 5th). I was just 2 ½ weeks from my due date (so, in actuality just over 3 ½ weeks from giving birth!) and we were sharing a hug (albeit from a distance, giving my giant belly preventing us from getting close!) and a kiss and I remember that moment. Yet it seems so strange to think Andrew was still a stranger to us. We didn’t even know he was a ‘he’ yet! It’s as if that was a whole other lifetime, and in a lot of ways it was. It was fun and I enjoyed that time of my life but everything is better with Baby!

(She says as he naps so silently on a blanket on the floor!) lol
This weekend we went to the Saturday market, hung out with my bro and s-i-l. Yesterday we got together with Andrew’s other uncle (James’ bro). So Andrew had a lot of good outdoors time, including more times on the park swings, which he loves! He will actually cry when I say it’s time to go and take him out of the swing! It’s so cute the way he holds on and smiles as he swoops through the air. Cutest. Boy. Ever.!
Now if the stress of other family members wasn’t so daunting, all would be well in our world. But I guess it wouldn’t be right if everything was perfect, would it? I am quite frustrated with the situation. I think my outlook on things has changed quite a bit since bringing Andrew into the world and I am less interested in continuing to take all the negativity onto my shoulders. It’s hard because of how involved I am but I am trying to distance myself somewhat. And no, I’m not talking about my evil m-i-l here – that’s a lost cause at this point. Unless she takes action to work at fixing things, that whole shenanigan is beyond my control and I’ve pretty much resigned myself to the fact that things will never be better with her (unless she changes in a big way). It’s sad but it’s her own doing and she should realize that. No, these are other issues that are being dealt with now. It’s nothing new, really, just worse than it was before.

Sigh. I understand why people have issues and it’s not like I am sitting around with a perma-grin, it just reeeeeeeeeally would be nice if for a change things could just be seen for what they actually are and not made into a trial and tribulation all the time. If you just lighten up your mind, you might find what you’re looking for.

Anyway…plugging along. Activities this week include a doctors appointment (fun! Not! Lol BUT we may have found a new-new doctor, since I wasn’t happy with the one we were referred to after our postnatal care with our midwife was over…It’s just a consultation but I’m keeping my fingers crossed that we like the guy). We’re also going to see our midwife this week just for a short visit and I am sooo excited to show Andrew to her. We haven’t seen her since he was 8 weeks old and now he is 8 months, so she will be amazed by the difference! Plus it will just be so heart warming to see her, since she meant so much to me during my pregnancy and birthing experience. It felt like she became such a regular part of my life and then when the postnatal care was finished, that relationship was gone. Which is the way it’s supposed to be, but all the same it will be nice to say hello!
Come to think of it, we need to make more plans for the week. At least the weather is supposed to hold for the next few days, so we can go to the beach or park and have picnic time, even if it’s just the two of us. Today I took Andrew to English Bay and dipped his toes in the ocean. He seemed to enjoy it!

More pictures to come, I think my next post will be all about the pictures.

Monday, August 24, 2009

Looking forward

I’m always on the lookout for a new place for us to live. I love our current place, but if I could find us something in the same price range with more space, we’d be willing to move sooner than later. I found a place that I actually really liked and it’s a 2 bedroom at a lower price than our current place. Would take James probably half an hour to commute – not a big deal. Wow, I thought! I’m onto something here! So I emailed the person for more info and more pictures. The info was everything I wanted to hear – quiet building, not a whole lot of traffic noise. A concrete building with in suite laundry – perfect! Until I get the extra pictures…I was all excited because there’s one picture of a BLUE baby’s nursery – I wouldn’t even necessarily have to paint Andrew’s bedroom right away! But then I see the view from his bedroom…and most likely from the majority of the condo. It’s a cemetery!!!!!

I just get this eerie vibe from that. I don’t like the idea of sitting looking out the window to death. I don’t think I’d be able to get past that feeling. Sure it’d be quiet since the dead don’t have a whole lot to say, but it’s not THAT worth it to me to have silence!

I guess that’s why it’s so ‘cheap’ compared to other places I’ve been looking at…

Oh well! It’s not like we want to move right away anyway. James and I went on a date yesterday, thanks to my aunt and uncle babysitting the boy. We were talking about where we live and while yes we do want more space, we just LOVE this area so much. I don’t think we want to give it up for a while yet.

It was sooo nice that we got to go out on our own for a bit. We went for a bike ride through some trails and around Stanley Park and ended up at Stanley’s Pub in the park. It was SO good. They had quite a few vegetarian options – although I ended up going with the veggie burger after all was said and done. James had a delicious pesto pasta. The drinks were good too, I had a slushy raspberry lemonade. It was supposed to include Vodka but I am positive it had none in it, since I definitely feel the liquor even if I only have one sip since I drink so rarely these days and I didn’t notice a thing. But that’s ok, I wasn’t there for the buzz! We sat outside and had a perfect table in the shade and it was just wonderful. My only complaint was that it went by waaaaay too fast!

Andrew was good though, slept most of the time we were out actually. He slept a lot yesterday, which is so rare for him since he doesn’t tend to do much napping. He still slept decently through the night, tho now that I think about it he WAS up twice through the night…

His food issues are back. He won’t eat anything that’s pureed and he won’t eat his rice cereal anymore. I’m going to try to ‘force’ him to start eating it again. Not in a mean way but as in we will sit there till he eats it. Otherwise he’ll only eat Cheerios mostly. But last night he ate a whole plum, some broccoli, veggie ‘meat’, potato, some Cheddar goldfish (I had to chew them to make them soft and then he’d eat them lol), and I think that’s it…He ate just a tiny amount of each thing, mind you, but still. I really want to get him eating more of things though, it’s a bit of a concern to me that all he wants to do is go back to breast feeding. Luckily I WAS able to pump 5 ounces for while we were out, since that’s all he would take from my aunt and uncle.

We put the chaise for our couch on the opposite side so it would be easier to block the room off to keep Andrew in. So now the window is more exposed. His new favourite thing to do is to go and stand by the window and stare out. He looks like a Big Shot while he’s doing it and I think he knows it!

I’m all over the place with this post…

On Sunday Andrew had his first ride on the skytrain. We took him to New West to our friends’ new house for one of their daughters’ 1st birthday party. Their house is amazing, with a huge backyard. So nice. Andrew did really well with the travelling – considering it took an hour each way. He loved being around other little kids too, it was so cute watching him with them.

After the birthday party we took Andrew to a nearby park in New West, where he went on the swings, dipped his toes in the water park, and petted a goat at the petting zoo. It was an amazing park, and such a diversity of people were there enjoying it.

We got together with my bro and s-i-l Sunday night, hung out at their place, ate pizza, watched some shows. It was fun getting together with them again since we don’t get together as much now that Andrew is here. We used to hang out, drink, and not get home till after midnight. It was funny because mostly we were drinking water and just after 10pm (Andrew was sound asleep on their living room rug) I said I had to get home because I was absolutely exhausted! LOL Oh, how things change!

I’m stressed about certain issues – more so than a ‘healthy’ level of stress, just because the situation feels somewhat dire. BUT I am doing my very best to stay positive and I love that I am creating things to look forward to in the near future. It helps so much to have things to look forward to I find.

In between writing this, Andrew had tub time (he was just grinning away, he loves being in the tub!) and his breakfast (as soon as I was strapping him into his high chair I knew I should have reversed the order of those two activities!) He didn’t eat much of anything – about 2 bites of a plum, about 2 bites of his cereal mixed with peach and yogurt (it was a MAJOR struggle getting him to take it) and 2 Cheerios. He was so upset about the cereal that it ruined everything. I wanted to try the ‘we’re sitting here till you eat it’ thing but I have a feeling we’d have been sitting there all day if that was the case. As soon as I took him out of his high chair he was doing everything he could to get to my breast so he could nurse, and now he’s asleep. I am torn because I want to nurse him and continue that bond and when he wants to have that closeness I want to give it to him. BUT I also want him eating solids! Time to do some research on how to get a baby to EAT!

Sunday, August 23, 2009

Don’t worry, be happy. Can we please try to live by this?

I don’t mean to sound like a cliché but if you’re handed lemons, you can choose to make delicious lemonade!

I’m not saying that people don’t have issues that warrant negativity from time to time. It’s perfectly alright to have a bad day. And when people hurt you, it makes sense that it will affect your life.

But eventually, one day, try to think of the bigger picture. I see it as a form of meditation – of putting yourself in your place and everything else in its place and seeing how small you are and how magnificent the universe is. Put things into better perspective and suddenly the world isn’t quite as daunting.

Life really is short, even if you live to be 100 years old – it flies by. Take advantage of what you’ve been given. Life is precious and CAN be wonderful if you let it be. If you truly want it to be.

For a few years before James and I decided to have a baby, I thought long and hard about whether it was ‘worth it’ or a good idea to bring a child into this world. We had many long talks about this topic for a number of years in our relationship before we got married. I went back and forth on it a lot. Sometimes I would get that instinct that, although not right away, I HAD TO HAVE A CHILD. Then I would go cold and think WHY ON EARTH WOULD I BRING ANOTHER PERSON INTO THIS EFFED UP WORLD? I have my pessimistic side to me, after all. BUT ultimately I did, obviously, settle on the positive and knew in my heartest of hearts that I wanted to have a baby. To bring a new life into the world and let them experience the world, both good and bad – but hopefully mostly good.

Because while I do feel sadness and pain and I know there are many dark clouds out there among us, I also deep down truly do believe that the world has so much goodness to offer. I feel so grateful to have been given this opportunity to LIVE. To experience the world in my own way. It has its moments for sure but WOW, I am ALIVE! And now that I have a child, I feel like I HAVE to believe in the good that is out there because if I can’t hold onto that faith (and I’m not talking religious faith, but faith in others and myself) then why did I bring another person into it?

I look at Andrew and I see this whole new life that has only just begun and it’s EXCITING. Yet, he WILL go through horrible things in his life and I can’t deny him that pain. When I was pregnant with him I vowed to myself (obviously not thinking realistically) that I would do everything in my power to make sure he was never sad or hurt in any way. Then he came out and started to cry and I realized – babies cry! Kids cry! Adults cry! It happens. Of course, Andrew doesn’t cry a lot because I (and others) nurture him, love him, want the best for him. He must know he is being taken care of because he’s content and is not denied any amount of care and attention. BUT he does fall down and he does sometimes bang his head on things when he falters trying to stand. He cries. He does wake up from a nap and he for some reason HATES waking up from his naps so he cries. He teethes and it’s painful and he cries. He’s hungry or has a full diaper and cries. These things are small potatoes compared to other difficulties he will experience in his life – such as the death of loved ones. The death of me, his mom, and the death of his dad. Those are going to be tragic experiences. Ones I am not looking forward to dealing with either (me and James’ deaths aside, the ending of my own parents’ lives is too hard to even picture in my mind). It breaks my heart to think Andrew will have to deal with such strife in his lifetime. But I also know he will be strong and will handle whatever he is faced with. He might go through hard times but I wanted to bring him into the world because I have faith that the happy and wonderful memories we will create together – and that he will create with others and for himself – will make everything worth it.

I hope to bring him up to be an upstanding citizen – as in, someone who abides by the law yet thinks critically and isn’t afraid to ask questions and stand up for what he believes in. I hope he will be helpful and kind and a person who plays a positive role in others lives (he is already doing this!) I hope more than anything that he is happy as I believe that just the happy vibes alone that we each send out into the atmosphere have a positive influence on the universe as a whole.

I have some major stresses in my life right now – but don’t we all. These situations could be worse, but they could also be a whole lot better. It can be hard to deal with at times, but I’m working at being as positive as possible. Even though times can be tough, it’s important to create things to look forward to. And if you start to falter on the positivity scale, remind yourself that you’re not invincible. None of us are going to be here forever. So why spend our time wasting away with worry when we could be experiencing all the amazing sides to life?

Friday, August 21, 2009

Too tired for a title

I’m going to be so screwed up today – I’m running on NO sleep. And it’s not even because of the baby - Andrew is sleeping soundly…’like a baby’ if you will! No, it’s just me this time. I woke up at about 3:30 needing to go to the bathroom but resisting getting up since the bathroom is right across from the nursery and the nursery doesn’t have a door…so I was concerned Andrew would wake up if he heard me up. But finally after drifting off for a few minutes here and there for an hour, I HAD to go so I got up and he didn’t wake up…but I couldn’t fall back asleep. Sleep deprivation like this is the worst, at least if I knew I was up because my baby was needing me, it would seem more worth it but I am just up because my mind is racing and that bothers me so much!

I have some stuff going on with family that is eating away at me at the moment. I need to formulate my thoughts on it but I don’t have the energy to delve into it at the moment.

I’m thinking of enrolling Andrew in swim lessons starting in a few weeks…It’s twice a week and starts at 9am, which means leaving the apartment by 8am to get there and get ready for the class once we arrive…It runs till the end of October. Is this a good plan? I am terrible early in the morning. And while Andrew DOES get up early, he’s not always up THAT early, which means I’d have to potentially wake him up super early in the morning to get him ready and leave. Ugh. I really want to do the swim lessons with him though…Should I look into other pool options? So far I’ve only considered the one we wouldn’t HAVE to bus to, so if the weather was good we could walk (though it takes at least 30 minutes to walk there)…

We’ve had a good week over all. We (including James) went to Nanaimo last Friday night. Saturday we hung out at my parents’ house and my grandma came over for supper. She was amazed at how much Andrew had grown and changed in the month since she’d seen him last! Sunday we (my mom included) took him to Rathtrevor Beach in Parksville – my favourite beach in the world that I’ve been to (I love it even more than the beaches in Hawaii and Bermuda – though I do love those beaches very much!) He was the cutest thing EVER at the beach! He loved the sand right away, played with it quite a bit. He also ate some…and tried to eat a shell and some seaweed! He loved the water too till he got a mouthful and got his first taste of yucky salt water. That was the end of that – he had to nurse right there on the beach! Rathtrevor is known for the tide being waaaaaaaaaaay out so you have a long walk to get out to the water. We were sitting there on the sand and I was nursing Andrew and then all of a sudden out of nowhere the tide starts coming in so fast. I had to cut his feed short to be able to grab up the towel we were sitting on and head back up to our picnic area! There Andrew fell asleep on the table for a little while. We had a nice picnic and Andrew played on the grass a bit before we headed back to Nanaimo. It was such a nice day, perfect weather, perfect company and soooo fun seeing Andrew’s first reaction to my favourite beach – the beach I remember going to most often as a child.

James had to go home Sunday night since he had to go back to work on Monday. I wish he could have stayed on but it was great having him there with us for the weekend. Andrew and I stayed on till Wednesday night. He is such a menace at my parents’ place. As much as it’s nice to have more space than what we have here, it’s so much easier to ‘trap’ him in the living room here than it is there. He has so much more space to roam there and so much more stuff to get into! He’s crawling SO FAST these days and wants to prop himself to stand on anything and everything. He is ridiculous, he even tries sometimes to stand up while he’s nursing! LOL It’s so funny but frustrating in that he obviously can’t feed properly like that. He is just constantly on the move, those legs have to be moving about or he’s not happy!

He says Mama all the time and I really do think he’s starting to associate it with being me! So Mama was his first word. Tonight I had him in the dining room in his high chair eating Cheerios (he loves his Cheerios and has learned to feed them to himself!) while I got dinner ready. He didn’t realize through the glass leading to the kitchen that I was in there so he started madly calling out Mama, MAMA! And I looked in and waved and talked to him and he was content again =) How cute is he?! He’s adorably cute. It’s so funny – he will fall over or get upset about something and even if James is right beside him at the time, he has to turn around to find me and make eye contact, just to let his Mama know he’s upset. He’s just absolutely priceless. I love him more and more every second.

He has 5 teeth and they are big white perfect teeth! It’s sooo cute seeing him smile with those pearly whites. I can’t get enough of his smile.

His food issues are prevailing – he went from starting on a routine of eating his rice cereal with fruit and/or yogurt to hating anything that’s pureed. He wants big boy foods only – he will eat what we eat but NO baby food. He likes lasagna and butternut squash (in pieces, again not pureed!), some cheese, broccoli, like I said he LOVES his Cheerios, Arrowroot biscuits, as of yesterday he likes baby rice cakes…but he eats SO LITTLE of each thing that I wonder how much he’s actually getting. Everyone says not to worry and that he’s obviously thriving – which he is…But I am just wondering when he’ll start eating a decent amount of solids in one go. My breast milk is dwindling…Well, not really, but it’s definitely not what it once was. He nurses a lot still but goes way more hours without needing breast milk so my supply isn’t in as much demand most of the time so I think my body has stopped producing as much. It’s a bit of struggle now to pump milk. I even tried when I got up just a while ago – he hadn’t nursed in 5-6 hours yet I was only able to pump about 2 ounces, not even. It concerns me only when it comes down to being able to go out for any length of time without the boy. Although it’s not SO bad considering whoever looks after him can always give him water to drink or try some pieces of fruit etc instead of milk. But still…I feel so much more at east being out if I know there is milk available to him if he needs it. Not that we go out often, in fact it’s a rarity…but still. We’re going on a date on Sunday and my aunt and uncle are looking after him so hopefully for my own peace of mind’s sake I’ll be able to get some milk in the bottle!!

I have to sit down when I’m not so tired (haha!) and write a list of all the cute things Andrew is up to these days. He changes so much from week to week. But I’m going to try to get back to sleep before he wakes up, which could be at any second…

Thursday, August 13, 2009

Mama bear and her cub

Tonight Andrew and I got together with a friend of mine from work. I hadn’t seen her for a few months so it was nice to get together and catch up. She’s about 17 weeks pregnant so it was fun hearing what she’s been going through so far – and being able to sympathize with the aches and pains (and morning sickness) she’s been dealing with. While there is definitely something magical about pregnancy, and many good things about being ‘with child’ – I have to say that it is so wonderful to be on the other side of it, having given birth already and seeing my baby grow into a little boy! Not that there aren’t aches and pains as a result of carrying such a big baby around all the time, but it’s oh so rewarding when you see them smile and make them laugh and watch them take the world in through their fresh little pair of eyes.
Later this evening just kind of out of the blue I started feeling really blah. I don’t know why – I’m thinking I should chalk it up to lack of sleep catching up to me. I just started feeling really moody and unhappy, which I don’t tend to find myself feeling too often these days. After James went to bed and I had some alone time, I just started outright sobbing to let out whatever it was I was feeling. I cried and cried and while I still have a sort of heaviness feeling, I do think it was healthy to get out some emotions.

I was done with the crying and had started using my computer when Andrew started to cry. I went into his room and he was standing at the side of his crib crying. As soon as I lifted him up he nuzzled into my chest and seemed to relax. I brought him back to the living room and tried letting him latch but he didn’t want to feed – he just wanted cuddles. He rarely ever gets up after only having gone to bed a short time ago. I honestly believe that he was in tune with me and knew I was upset and that made him upset so he needed soothed. I don’t care what anyone says – it really felt like that’s what was happening. I needed soothed too and nothing warms my heart more than cuddling with my little babe. He is so precious. As soon as I held him he just sunk into my arms, burrowed his face in my chest, and went to sleep. It is the most wonderful thing in the world to be a mom with a little one to love and be loved by.
I have witnessed a lot of this being ‘in tune’ with each other stuff between Andrew and I. Very often I will wake up and just seconds later he starts to cry. And it’s not like it’s always at the same time in the night so my body’s adjusted to waking at a particular time. I could be having a nap on the weekend while James is looking after him and I will wake up suddenly and then I’ll hear Andrew cry. I assume he’d been crying already but then James will say that he had just started at that moment. It’s like I just know that he’s going to need me suddenly. I don’t know how that happens but it’s amazing.

I’m feeling ok, just a bit tired and run down. But nothing those baby cuddles couldn’t help fix!

When Andrew cries I want to hold him and make sure he’s alright. The fact that he did the same for me is the sweetest thing ever.

Saturday, August 08, 2009

S-A-T-U-R-D-A-Y night!

Andrew is asleep. He was quite fussy leading up to nite nites. I think it’s the teething. He also took a bit of a tumble today and it’s possible his mouth is a little sore as a result. He banged his head on a table…You should have seen the way he cried! My s-i-l picked him up but when he did a silent sob where his mouth opened up so wide and I could tell he was struck by the pain, I just had to take him and cuddle him. My poor little guy! He actually had a bit of blood come out of his mouth – most likely one of his teeth cut the inside of his lip. Oooh did I feel sad knowing my little babe took such a rough tumble. I know there are many bruises and scrapes to come, but the first one is tough for a mom! My mom got a cold cloth and he sucked on it a bit and then was fine. He has a bit of a mark on the outside of his upper and lower lip area but he’s ok!

He finally fell asleep tonight watching his crib aquarium. He just would not fall asleep from nursing, which he usually does. That’s why I suspect it was the teething that was getting to him. Luckily he was tired enough and the aquarium soothed him to sleep. I swear by that thing – it was $50 definitely well spent!

He did so well with his food today. He is definitely getting the hang of the solids now. He had about 4-5 tablespoons of his rice cereal mixed with pureed peach and cherry yogurt for his breakfast this morning. Then a few sips of water. He also had water this afternoon, a few bites of a poppyseed loaf, a tiny piece of cheese and a bean (from a salad I was having), and tonight about an hour before bed he had about 3-4 tablespoons of rice cereal mixed with water and was still hungry after so he ate ¾ of an organic plum! It was very ripe so I just peeled the skin off and then gave him piece after piece of it on his spoon and he loved it! He had some water after that to wash it all down. And of course he breast fed throughout the day. He generally loves his nursies but boy is he getting the hang of the solids! I am so pleased with his progress, just in the past few days.

This morning I took him to the market just to get him out and about. He was a bit fussy in his stroller after we were leaving the market so I took him to a nearby playground (to a bench kind of out of the way) with the intention of feeding him. I forgot to bring a bottle with pumped milk, which I like to have in case of such ‘emergencies’ where I KNOW if he just fed a bit he’d stop fussing and most likely sleep! But he was so enthralled with a pigeon that was walking around the bench that he couldn’t feed! He just grinned at the bird and wanted to stare at it. I enjoy his love of animals so far! He loves cats and dogs and now birds! As he sees more of the animals at the aquarium, I am sure he will love them too =)

After letting him watch the bird a bit I got him strapped back into his stroller and we headed for home. I decided to go a bit further first and check out Lost Lagoon since apparently the water became discoloured recently and they’re not entirely sure why…I saw one area that was a strange green colour but beyond that I didn’t notice a difference. Although it was a few days ago this was on the news so maybe it has cleared up since then. The animals all seemed to be just fine, despite whatever might have been going on with the water!

Andrew slept the whole time from a few streets away from the playground to home and then slept in his stroller at home for nearly an hour! He rarely naps that much but he has been so go, go, go lately, it’s no wonder he’s needing proper naps.

We spent the rest of the day with my mom and yada yada yada, here I am.

I’m going to go get some shut eye before Andy-boy wakes me for his night time feed. He is up so early in the morning now no matter what, I can’t afford to be the night owl that I once was. Sigh. I do miss staying up late and sleeping in! But I’d rather be tired and have my little guy to love, so it all works out in the end =)

Friday, August 07, 2009

It's time for nite nites!

Last night my mom came over and James went to Victoria. He’s off on a camping trip with his dad till Sunday. My mom stayed at our place last night and is in Vancouver till Sunday.

I slept on the couch last night and my mom took the bedroom since it just makes more sense that way – Andrew would just wake her up otherwise and I’d need the couch to feed him. Andrew was up twice through the night…but it was Moorka who made me get under 4 hours sleep total last night =( It made me SO mad that she kept meowing and bugging all through the night. I could have killed her. It’s SO hard as it is dealing with the insane amount of energy Andrew has through the day – doing so on almost no sleep is just depressing.

After hanging around for the morning and early afternoon, we headed out to Pacific Centre. I got Andrew a super cute outfit for the fall from H&M! A-D-O-R-A-B-L-E!!

On a different note…

Andrew ate a lot today! Well, for him. He had some blueberry muffin at breakfast time…then he ate probably 3 tablespoons of his rice cereal mixed with a cube of peach and a cube of cherry yogurt. At the mall I got a strawberry Julius and he had a few sips of that! He absolutely loved it. He didn’t have much but it was pretty cute the way he lapped up the bit that I gave him. For dinner he had some homemade broccoli/carrot quiche. And of course sips of water whenever he ate solids. I always get him drinking a bit of water after his meals. It sounds like he ate so much but it really wasn’t all that much. Still though, he’s doing SO much better than he was before with eating solids. He actually seems to be enjoying the foods and he opens his mouth up wide for the next bite! He still nurses a lot and I don’t think he’s going to want to give that up any time soon, but I do feel good about how he’s progressing with his big boy foods. Finally – after so much trial and error! Still a ways to go but I feel like we’re getting somewhere. He seems to prefer eating a bit of whatever we’re eating – last night he had some lasagna. LOL He will eat his pureed food but he does seem to enjoy things he can chew a little bit with his newly discovered teeth!

He has yet another tooth on the way. He has his bottom two front teeth, his top two front teeth, and the one beside the right top front tooth is now on its way in too. It’s amazing how quickly he’s getting a mouthful of pearly whites!

I think I’ll try to get to sleep soon. I need the rest. It is a dream of mine to be able to ‘catch up’ on sleep. I don’t foresee that happening any time soon, but I might as well try to get as much as I can…

Thursday, August 06, 2009

A partial post...

A friend of mine has a 10 month old and just told me she’s 2 months pregnant with her second. OMG. Is there something wrong with me for thinking that’s CRAZY?! Not that I’m not happy for her – she wants her kids to be close in age, getting preggers again wasn’t a mistake…but I just personally can’t imagine going through another pregnancy so soon and having a second baby when the first one drives me insane enough as it is! LOL Andrew is a wonderfully, sweet, perfect little guy but he is going to remain a singleton…for 3 years…and if we don’t have a baby in 3 years (ish), you’ll know he’s remaining a singleton FOREVER!!!!!

Andrew is napping on my lap so I finally have a minute to write. He’s just tearing around the apartment and getting into everything he possibly can. What a little menace he is! He rarely stops for a second. And gets so bored of everything after such a short time. We got groceries this morning and when we got home, just so I’d have time to quickly put the groceries away (in under 5 minutes), I let him play with my keys. Not sure if that’s appropriate but if he didn’t have something ‘new’ or something he knew he SHOULDN’T have, he would get fussy right away and make it a living hell putting the food away. So it’s easier to just plug him into SOMETHING so I know I have a bit of time before he feels he needs something…

Yesterday Andrew and I went over to my aunt’s house. She made a picnic lunch and we went to a nearby park that we’d never been to before. Andrew had his first swings experience! He seemed to enjoy it. I plopped him into the baby swing and he just sort of reacted like, oh yeah, I’m in the swing now, whatevs! He was totally unphased. He kept looking over at the bigger kids who got to swing higher than him. He looked so cute though. He is going to love it once he can run around and play on the big kid playground. He always looks longingly at what the other kids are doing, not understanding that he’s just a bit too little still to partake.

It was sooo nice to get out for a few hours and do something a bit different. Andrew napped in his stroller at the park for a while so my aunt and I were able to have a nice chat. It makes such a difference having someone help out from time to time.

Oops, baby is awake…gotta go! More later…

Tuesday, August 04, 2009

Baby beluga in the deep blue sea

It’s so hard getting into a proper routine with baby but we’re working on it. Especially with eating solids…If I want to get him eating properly, I have to get him eating at more regular times. We’re starting to get him eating with us at dinner time (and he eats with me mid-morning). He seems to do better with food if we’re eating too because he thinks he should be doing whatever we’re doing!

Last night he had some pureed green bean with apple medley (Heinz baby food). I don’t really buy much jar food for him now that I have a blender and can puree everything myself, but I wanted to see if he’d like this blend. It turns out he pretty much lapped it up! He then proceeded to have some tiny pieces of cauliflower in cheese sauce, and even tried the soy product we were having. He seemed to like it all. I was so impressed with his eating! And he loves drinking water from a cup (although he also tries to bite and eat the cup). He did so well last night! Lets hope for the same scenario tonight. He only ate a few bites of his cereal/peach/yogurt blend this morning…

It was such a nice long weekend. We got out quite a bit, just to maintain some amount of sanity given that being cooped up in the living room with a crawling, active baby becomes exhausting very quickly! We went to the aquarium on Sunday and got year memberships. It’s the same price as going twice, and you get lots of discounts on things. It makes sense to do it that way because we can go any time, even if we only stay for a short time. Which works well with a little guy since you never know what kind of mood he might be in! It was super busy there on Sunday but we saw the dolphins and sea otters, then Andrew fell asleep and James and I looked around more of the exhibits =)

Yesterday we went to English Bay and got set up in a shady area of grass. I found it really relaxing. We spent probably a few hours there. Andrew crawled around on the grass and played and we had some pizza from Flying Wedge. We walked home through Lost Lagoon and met up with my old bosses from when I worked at a pet store years ago. Which was so weird since just the night before I dreamt that I was going back to work there (even though I never would in real life!!) It was nice to see them again – we run into each other from time to time with living in the same general area but they hadn’t met Andrew yet so it was nice to show him off =)

I’ve been dealing with some family stress and issues as of late…or at least trying to deal with it all. Sometimes I feel like so much falls onto my shoulders and I take on so much of other people’s problems – despite that I can’t do anything for them but listen. It’s starting to take a bit of a toll on me. I was able to handle a lot more in the past, when I didn’t have a baby and when I was getting a lot more sleep than I am now. Especially since the past few days Andrew has gone back to getting up at least twice through the night…Last night I only slept about 4 hours due to his lack of sleeping and my thinking about/working at dealing with family stuff. It’s frustrating. And sad. I feel like rifts are being caused between me and people. Well, not really, but sort of. I put on a positive face and do my best to just be there for people but eventually if you’re not willing to look at possible solutions and make changes, I start to feel helpless and frustrated about trying to help.

Anyway…I don’t want to dwell on things beyond my control. Part of me wants to run away from it all but I know I can’t. I’m glad I have Andrew to help keep me focused.

Oh, I made a really yummy blackberry/raspberry/rhubarb pie this weekend! And today I’m going to make a quiche. I found the easiest method for making pie crust (without buying frozen) so now all these things seem so much easier to make! Thankfully the weather seems to be cooling down a bit so it won’t be so stifling to work in the kitchen. I just have to hope that Andrew will occupy himself in his play pen long enough for me to do the cooking…that is the most challenging part of all!

Sunday, August 02, 2009

All I want is some sleep and some cooler weather - is that too much to ask?!

The heat is really getting to me. I am so tired of feeling so boiling and uncomfortable all the time. And it is affecting Andrew’s sleep so I can’t help but complain a little! Bring on the clouds, I say!

So Andrew is officially 7 months old (as of 2 days ago). Boy does time ever fly by. I can’t believe how big he’s getting! He’s still my little baby…but really, he’s getting to be more and more of a big boy all the time.

When he gets up in the middle of the night, I go into his room to find him standing up and holding onto the side of the crib. Often biting at his crib and making noises. He knows I am going to go in and pick him up so often he will grin when he sees me coming. He’s not entirely steady on his feet but he’s getting to be more and more each day. I have sort of taught him recently that if he wants to be picked up he has to lift his arms and then I reach down to pick him up!

When we’re in the living room, I’ve taught him to come to me (I know it sounds like I’m training a dog here but I guess there are similarities when it comes to teaching a baby things – of course there are many differences as well though!!) He obviously doesn’t listen most of the time…but sometimes I will say, “Andrew!” And he’ll look over at me and I’ll say, “Andrew, come to Momma!” and he will crawl right to me, then he will reach one arm up till he gets a bit wobbly – as if he’s trying to do the reaching his arms to be lifted up thing but of course he can’t quite do it steadily yet. It’s just AMAZING how in the matter of just DAYS he is getting all of this stuff down pat.

It really is something, how much a baby changes and grows and LEARNS in such a short period of time.

He is such a clever little guy!

Yesterday (Saturday) we went to the market and got yummy olives, and some organic fruit (peaches, plums, raspberries, blackberries, cherry tomatoes), some corn on the cob…I’m going to make a blackberry pie – which will also have rhubarb in it that I got from Safeway. Yum! If it wasn’t so hot I’d have made the pie last night but I didn’t so I’ll have to do it in the next day or two regardless of the weather. That’s something about this heat – it is sooo hard to be in the kitchen cooking for any length of time!

After Safeway we came home and played with the boy all afternoon, sometimes playing the 3 of us together, other times each taking turns watching him tear around the living room. James can’t believe how active he is, and says, ‘I don’t know how you do this all day!’ As fun and wonderful as it is, it’s also exhausting. You’re just constantly on the move too because he is into anything and everything. Pulling stuff from places you didn’t think he could reach! And especially trying to keep him away from the cats – Moorka in particular since she’s NOT good with children whatsoever and I don’t think she ever will be, truthfully. It’s a bit of a concern.

I am getting a bit antsy about next weekend because James is going camping with his dad for 3 days/3nights. I will be on my own completely for that entire time. Originally my parents were going to be over but that’s fallen through. I guess I could go over to Nanaimo for that time, but our plan was to go in another week or so, so I doubt we will end up doing that. Obviously I can manage looking after my babe for the duration of James’ camping trip, it will just be super tiring never having any sort of break! Not that I can’t get together with people while he’s gone but honestly, I just don’t see myself getting much of a break at all regardless!

Since writing the above, Andrew woke up and was up for nearly 2 hours in the middle of the night =S He just would not go back to sleep. He nursed, I rocked him, put his crib aquarium on, sang to him, hummed to him, we danced. Nothing worked. Finally he did nurse again and went to sleep but it took ages. I think the heat was bothering him and he wanted to have cuddle time, but cuddle time was difficult given how hot it was!

Needless to say, this morning I felt absolutely exhausted. Yesterday I let James sleep in and he even had a nap later in the day so I didn’t feel the least bit guilty telling him to get up with Andrew when he woke up before 8am! I fed him just after 9, then went back to sleep for an hour before getting up. I could have slept far longer, but at least I got a bit of rest.

Not sure what we’ll do today, but I’ve got to get Andrew out of the house for as long as possible. I wish he was old enough to play on playgrounds so we could get him super active so he’d tucker out faster! Maybe we can take him to the park and he can crawl around on the grass =) Aaaaahhhhhhh parenthood is a rewarding form of insanity! LOL

Saturday, August 01, 2009

I feel like I'm melting...

I have come to realize that Andrew really loves muppets! Whenever there is a show on that has muppets, he is glued to the screen.

I don’t have him watching tv all that often but I don’t mind if he’s playing and happens to also have his attention on the tv part of the time (depending on the show, of course). Right now he’s in his high chair playing with toys, and occasionally he looks up at the tv screen. If it keeps him occupied for 5 minutes so I’m not having to chase him around the living room saying ‘No’ constantly, I’m happy!!

Of course, as soon as I wrote that he started fussing to get out of the high chair =D He’s now doing jumpy jumps…

Seeing as how Andrew is getting up earlier in the morning with lots of energy, this morning I decided we’d go for an outing earlier than our usual. Just after 9am we headed to Stanley Park for a walk. My plan was to set us up on the grass so Andrew could crawl around for a while and we could sit in the shade, but it just so happened they were watering the grass pretty much everywhere we went to in the park this morning! But that’s ok – in around the aquarium area Andrew fell asleep in his stroller so I just ‘strolled’ (haha) around with him for a while and then headed home. It was really hot out already but not nearly as scorching as the afternoons get. It’s still boiling hot today but not nearly as bad as the past few days so I’m handling it a bit better. I’m still sweating bullets but it could be worse!

It felt good to be out getting some exercise, fresh air. It put me in good spirits. Rather than feeling cooped up at home all morning and by noon going, oh my god, we’ve done everything we can here, it’s only lunch time and I’m exhausted – what next?!, we got home and I was able to have a quick cool bath while Andrew played in his exersaucer and then he played and had a nap. He was more tired because of the sunshine and fresh air I’m guessing! I’m still exhausted but I feel like I can handle another few hours and then James is home for the long weekend so I’ll have his help for 3 days – yay! I love long weekends.

I wrote that earlier in the day. A lot has happened since. One really cute thing was that I discovered a toy Andrew loves that he didn’t show much interest in before. It’s an ostrich puppet thing that I got years ago. Basically you can put your fingers in the legs to make them move. I would hide the ostrich, then pop his head up and then bounce each of the legs toward Andrew and he would laugh so hard each time! Then I’d move the ostrich around to make it look like he was eyeing Andrew up and he just howled. It is more and more fun playing with him all the time, as he interacts more with the toys. I just find it humorous how babies find certain things funny. I wonder what it is about things that cause certain reactions.

I have small cuts on both my thumbs and I have NO IDEA how they got there but they’re bugging me. Cuts on the hands are the worst (not that there is a good cut! Well besides a good hair cut that is!) Reminds me of the Psycho movie (either the 2nd or 3rd, I don’t think it was the first) where Norman Bates grabs the knife with his hands and pulls and of course it cuts through his hands and blood is spurting out. For some reason imagining that pain seemed far worse than the pain of being outright murdered with stabs to the chest, as many of his victims were!

That was a charming subject…

Well, it’s late and I really should be sleeping. I’m tired but it’s so hot. And I feel a bit stressed/sad about a conversation I had tonight with someone close to me. I feel helpless about their situation and sad that it is the way it is. I wish I could help them but I don’t know that I can. I don’t feel like talking about it though. Not right now.

I will try to sleep instead because inevitably it won’t be long – based on our current pattern – before Andrew is up for his first night time feed…

He’s a handful, but I love him to bits!

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