Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Listening to John Mayer

Just waiting for my parents to get here – they’re over for a few days. I’m so excited! It’s so nice when they’re over – Andrew and I end up getting out and doing more, or at least different things than our ‘usual.’ And my parents looove all their Andrew cuddles – which will give my arms a bit of a break (hey, he’s got to be close to, if not, 20lbs by now! Heavy to pack around all day!)

He’s in his exersaucer right now, facing the window so he’s been peering out at all the cars driving by. Cuteness!

It looks like our next door neighbour (the smoker) has moved out! Yipee!! They’re currently putting new carpet in. Not surprised they would have to gut the place given that she has apparently smoked inside since she moved in about 6 years ago. Gross. Well, good riddance to her! She smoked and was totally unfriendly. Hopefully whoever moves in is pleasant AND, MORE IMPORTANTLY, NON-SMOKING!!! We’ll also find out if she was the only source of the smoke coming through – it could also be coming from other adjoining suites…But lets hope it was just her! Wouldn’t it be fantastic if our suite stopped filling up with second-hand smoke? Oh, glorious day!

Well the boy is getting antsy, so much for posting anything of import. He is teething quite badly lately. It’s really affecting him. It still only looks like the 2 front bottom teeth are coming in (I’d say they’re half way being all the way through now – they are so cute and pearly white!) But I guess even if others aren’t showing yet they’re bound to be on their way. Nothing seems to help soothe him. But I try things nonetheless. He needs nap time more than anything but he is the biggest nap resister I have ever met. Heaven forbid he should miss out on anything – even when nothing interesting is going on!

And he is so bad with the tv, I actually can’t put the tv on in the night when he feeds anymore because if I do he ends up wanting to stay up to watch something! LOL He is only 6 months old tomorrow. That’s just plain bad! He will actually flip himself off my nipple to crane his neck to see what’s on the telly. And he seems to know the difference between when a show is on and when it’s commercials. He’ll crane to see the show, then the commercials come on and he’ll go back to the nipple for more food. I’m not kidding!

What a boy!

OK he’s latched now…let’s hope he’ll nap after this…It rarely happens but you never know!

Monday, June 29, 2009

You can look but please don’t touch!!

On our way home from English Bay yesterday, Andrew FINALLY fell asleep in his stroller. He’d been fussing for some time and we decided we’d better stop somewhere so I could feed him in hopes he’d then sleep and we could walk home in peace. As soon as I sat on the bench and was about to take him out of the stroller for a feed, he drifted off to la-la land. So off we walked toward home.

We got a few blocks away and were waiting for the light to change to cross the street when this woman catches sight of Andrew and starts making this high pitched screeching noise while saying how cute he is. She rushed over and literally started grabbing his hand and holding it. He of course woke up with a start (both from the screeching in his face and the hand grabbing) and let out a cry. First off, he was sound asleep and she woke him and also he’s staring into the face of a complete stranger right as he wakes up. Not a good combo – I’d cry too in his position!

I was totally annoyed. Thank you for thinking he’s cute and all, but how about a little consideration when you can obviously tell he’s SLEEPING?? Obviously this woman does not have children of her own or she’d know – LET SLEEPING BABES SLEEP! It took forever to get him to drift off and then he was wide awake after that.

James wasn’t annoyed at me or anything but did say I ‘could have been nicer to her’ about it. Basically when he started to cry I said, ‘Thanks, but I was really hoping to keep him sleeping, so…’ and started moving the stroller so she’d have to let go of his hand. Then when we were closer to the cross walk (still waiting for the light to change) I got a handy-wipe thing out and washed his hand. I don’t know if she saw that – I tried to conceal it so she wouldn’t think I was being rude because I honestly wasn’t trying to be but…the thing is, the woman works at a convenience store – I have seen her in there before and she was wearing her uniform and had just come out of the store when all of this happened…so I was a bit upset that she grabbed Andrew’s hand given all the germs she had likely picked up while working. I just felt like it was inconsiderate. Note to everyone: tell a person their baby is cute if you want to, but if you want to touch the baby PLEASE ask first so mom or dad or whoever can decide if it’s OK! Andrew has had 3 colds in his short 6 months since birth – it’d be nice if people kept their hands to themselves, especially when they’re working around a zillion germs all day. How do I know if you’ve washed your hands recently?! Ugh…

It wasn’t THAT big a deal but it sort of was and is a big deal because it does happen regularly enough. I wonder why people think it’s ok if it’s a baby they can just be all grabby?! I completely understand the cuteness factor of babies and it melts my heart to think how many people get smiles just from looking at Andrew – I love that he sends out such a positive vibe for people! But come on, he doesn’t need to be grabbed, especially when he’s SLEEPING!!

Anyway…that’s my little rant for the day =)

This and that...

On Friday I gave Andrew his first styled faux hawk! His hair is really starting to come in – I wanted to take advantage of it. He looked absolutely adorable and got a lot of smiles from people when we were out for a walk in the sunshine. Of course, it wasn’t JUST the hair that caused this reaction – he is cute all round, and is constantly smiling when he thinks people are paying attention to him!

On Saturday we went to the market and got some delicious apple chips. I don’t care for the apple chips you can buy at the grocery store but these ones are organic and from Summerland and are very yummy! I love finding yummy snacks that also happen to be super healthy.
Today we took Andrew on his first aquabus ride across the water from English Bay to Granville Island. We wanted to go to the kid’s place there to check out the shops for toys and things. Saw lots of great stuff toy-wise but they’re mostly for kids a bit older than Andrew. We did get him a few new things though – a set of blocks that are all fabric and have different textures, sounds, colours, do-dads on them, and what’s called an ‘Oball.’

After the kid’s area we had planned to go through the food market but it was INSANE in there and not the least bit stroller friendly. I decided to take Andrew outside while James got a few things for our supper. He got some stuffed pasta and risotto cakes but then it was just too crazy in there to keep shopping. So we booted it away from Granville Island. James might have stayed longer (he doesn’t hate crowds the way I do) but I just couldn’t stand how busy it was. And I got quite a few dirty looks from people when I went outside and was trying to navigate through the swarm of people with the stroller. I swear people have no patience whatsoever – one woman walked right into me and even though it was HER fault she glared at me like it was mine! So yeah, at that point I knew it was time to head back! It was fun going over though and I’m glad we have an idea of what sort of stuff they have at the market in terms of toys and clothes and things for the babe!

We got a few things at the grocery store (soooo much quieter there!) and headed home. By then I was completely zonked. I’d been up nearly the whole night between Andrew needing feeds or cuddles, having a tummy ache (me, not Andrew), and just tossing and turning because every now and then Andrew’s voice would come over the monitor whimpering a bit. He’d go back to sleep right away on his own but each time he does that I end up laying there awake for a little while – anticipating having to get up I guess. It was such a long night but at least James got up with him at 8:30 and let me sleep for 3 straight hours.

Even still, I was sooo tired when we got home. But I ended up just having a GD Tass (lol, we really do call our coffee that all the time now!) and a little later I had a bit of energy again. I seem to hit a really low point every day and then in the evening I get my second wind. I don’t know if that’s a good thing or a bad thing…
Andrew had sooooooo much energy today, it was ridiculous! He just wouldn’t stop. And he’s taken to biting my nipples a lot lately because of the teething. It’s not fun. I’m doing my best to persevere though. And I pump milk a bit more often, trying to always have a bit on hand in case he’s in biting mode and I can’t latch him on. So far it’s working. It saddens me to think I won’t be breast feeding much longer (6 more months tops, though I honestly don’t know if we’ll make it that far if he keeps up with the biting – especially as more teeth come in!) It can be a nuisance at times I guess, just trying to latch him in public and catching people (men) staring at me while doing it (even though I am as covered as possible!)…things like that make it complicated at times (although you also get to a point where you’re like, fine, take a picture – it’ll last longer, who cares?! I even fed in front of the cable guy when my aunt and uncle were moving into their new place this past week – LOL – I just didn’t care, baby needs fed I feed him, end of!) For the most part I absolutely love breast feeding because it’s such a source of comfort for Andrew and I think it is for me too. I love knowing he depends so much on me – ‘cause lets face it, he’s going to start depending on me less and less as he grows more and more independent! May as well enjoy this time while we have it. I just can’t believe how fast he’s growing up. He will be 6 months on Wednesday! Seriously, where does the time go?!
He went to bed so early tonight – just after 8pm I think it was – so I’m thinking he’s going to be up any time now or at least sometime in the middle of the night. But oh well, what can you do. Routines are important for babies but I’ve concluded I can’t force him to sleep when I want him to! I DID, in the middle of the night last night, manage to get him to go back to sleep without feeding – which is a bit of a breakthrough – so it CAN be done but some mothers claim a baby HAS to have a specific nap time each day and even if they wail for an hour they wail for an hour – they HAVE to go into their crib and be on their own for that time. My take is that if he’s tired he will sleep. But if he’s not I can’t force him to! Some days he naps, some days he literally will nap for 10 minutes or less the entire day. It’s up to him what he needs. Maybe as he gets a bit older he’ll want to nap more but I can’t make him sleep if he’s not tired! And why would I put a 6 month old in their crib and just walk away and let them ‘cry it out’?! I don’t get that. If it works for some moms, fine, but that’s not the way I do it!

Anyway, I got a lot of stuff done around the apartment tonight and I’m feeling really good about things. Floors are washed, things are clean. Always more to do of course but I’m satisfied for now. And knock on wood since I don’t want to jinx it but the cigarette smoke hasn’t been wafting in much lately and I’m soooooooo happy about that. I am actually really loving it here right now. Even if it’s a bit cramped I love our apartment.

Oh, Andrew’s awake, time to go!

Friday, June 26, 2009

A true legend

What a crazy day. Not one I will soon forget.

I just can’t believe that Michael Jackson is dead. Whoa. I didn’t see that coming. I know we all have to die sometime but Michael Jackson? Today? Really?

I know he’s had many unfortunate circumstances in his life and perhaps his bizarreness has at times been…troubling. But if you think about his earlier career, he had undeniable talent. And in general he is/was an enigma! I have been strangely fascinated with him for some time. I just can’t believe he’s gone.

I called James as soon as I found out. Later I ended up having some tears even. I played some MJ hits and danced to some of them with Andrew – Billy Jean, Bad, Beat It, etc. I saved Thriller so James and I could listen and watch the video together.

Michael Jackson was big in the 1980s and growing up we had a few of his records. My brother even had an MJ doll! He’s an icon, one who will live on through the ages. He was very afraid of death from what I gather having watched interviews where he talked about it. He wanted to be like Peter Pan and live forever. But while his body had to go, he indeed WILL live on forever through his music and dance and the influence he’s had on so many people around the world.

RIP Michael Jackson.

Thursday, June 25, 2009


I just heard the news that Michael Jackson died today.

I am in total shock.

I have to try to absorb this. Wow.

He was such a pop icon. I can't believe it.

I called James at work right away when I heard the news. I was actually fighting back tears! I don't even own a single Michael Jackson album, though I do enjoy a number of his hit songs. And he was Michael Jackson, how could I not react to this?

Michael Jackson.

I still have to get my head around this...

What a boy!

Andrew attempted to crawl forward (it came across as more of a lunge, but he was trying!) today in an attempt to get to where Fiona was laying! He is so intrigued by her. A little too much so, perhaps – tonight he grabbed a hold of her tail and tried to pull it toward himself…She of course whipped out her claws and scratched him. Poor little guy, his first cat scratch! At least she only got his foot a tiny bit. He wailed but was a good sport all considered. Nothing some cuddles couldn’t cure!

We did the mold/plaster of his hand tonight. It turned out ok but I want to try again. We have enough of the materials left to try again so maybe tomorrow night. A few of the fingertips didn’t quite make it but omg the shape of the fingers and all the little lines in his hand showing – sooooo cute!!

Andrew ate rice cereal today…twice! And he seemed to enjoy it quite a bit, so I’m happy about that. He really hates fruits though – won’t eat apple sauce or peaches. Not even with cinnamon! I am going to try a banana/mandarin mixture tomorrow. And if he hates that too I’m going to try a vegetable instead. I have tried apple sauce so many times, I would have thought he’d be ok with it by now. Once he ate it and liked it but he’s never done that again! Eventually he’ll get used to the solids…He is just way too keen on his Momma’s milk! I swear he spent at least half the day today latched onto me. Not that I mind, I love having him close. It’s not going to be easy when it comes time to weaning him off breast feeding though. Although I’m hoping that’s not going to happen for another 6 months so I don’t have to worry just yet! I have to say though, when he bit me again tonight and I had a few tears (it was that painful), I started to wonder how I’ll be able to manage breast feeding when he has top teeth as well as the two bottom ones he currently has. YOWZERS!!

Anyway, we’ll cross that bridge when we get to it!

I’m zonked, time for a bit of shut eye before the next feed. Cross your fingers he sleeps through the night!!!

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Teething issues...

To Trista/Trista’s Mom or anyone else who might have advice!

What sort of things would you recommend I use in the Baby Safe Feeder (that Trista and Kyle sent for Andrew)? It’s that little mesh bag thingy that he can hold and bite on for teething…I tried frozen banana (thinking the cold might be good for his gums) but he turned up his nose. The issue here being he’s not quite enjoying his fruits (and hasn’t tried veggies) yet! Maybe he’s just not quite old enough yet to understand the concept of it? I thought since he’s trying to bite everything in sight that he might enjoy it, but aside from banana I wasn’t sure what I should put in there. Let me know if you have any ideas! Thanks!!


It's just after 4am...Andrew happens to be wide awake :S Due to tossing and turning to FINALLY get to sleep, I've only had about 2 hrs so far...Ugh! So hoping he falls back asleep soon... =P

I don't know if anyone read my last post, titled Team Square, but I have deleted it for now because I feel like I could better get my thoughts out with a little more time to reflect. I still stand behind what I wrote but at the same time it's just too jumbled. I need to make it more concise or something.

Hopefully I will have time to do that soon. In the meantime, I have to get this kid back to la-la land so I can head there myself!

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Entertaining the boy

I’m exhausted, and on the cusp of getting sick. My throat feels scratchy, my chest isn’t right, and I feel generally more tired than usual – which is NOT good! I so don’t have the energy to deal with being sick. And inevitably me getting something is going to mean Andrew getting something, so we’re going to go through a fussy period all round. Oh, the fun.

I have been sick more times in the past 6 months than I usually am in at least a couple of years. It sucks having a weakened immune system. You’d THINK the hormones that fluctuate due to breastfeeding and my body therefore KNOWING I have a baby would also kick into high gear for PREVENTING any kind of illness – including colds and flus. Wouldn’t that be a perk?!

Andrew is in his exersaucer. He seems more interested in playing with a spit-up cloth he found on it than the toys it came with! lol He is so funny. He has taken to hording his toys – not totally but he’s working on it. He’ll be playing with one toy and I’ll put another one nearby so he’ll grab for the new toy – dropping the old one. But he’ll also touch the old one just to make sure it’s still close by and then he plays with the new one. I guess I’ll have my work cut out for me when it comes to teaching him the word ‘share’!

I do remember a little ditty from elementary school on sharing and I’ll ‘share’ it with him when he’s old enough to understand:

It’s mine but you can have some
With you I’d like to share it
‘Cause if I share it with you
You’ll have some too!

Now Andrew is in his play pen – he got bored of the exersaucing. He’s on his tummy again. He always goes onto his tummy – in his crib too. Then he tries to lunge forward and gets upset when he doesn’t really go anywhere. I’ve taken to putting him into his crib in the morning when I go to put in my contacts, brush my teeth, etc. I put his mobile on and his aquarium and he proceeds to turn the aquarium off and on repeatedly. He also goes on his tummy and when he hears me in the bathroom (which is right across from his room) he looks my way and all I can see is the top of his head to his eyes but I can tell he’s grinning by the way his eyes change shape. He’s so freaking adorable, I can’t stand it!

I don’t know how people manage having multiple children though. We have discussed the possibility of having a second since I would love for Andrew to have a sibling. I couldn’t imagine not having grown up with my brother to play with, learn with/from, and have in my life as an adult. I want Andrew to have that too. (Although not for a few years yet, there is NO WAY I am going to have a baby while Andrew is still considered one, that would just be totally nuts!) But even 2 seems overwhelming when I really think about it. I think of all the cuddle time Andrew and I have and all the time I’m glued to the couch breastfeeding and how important it is for him to have this all-about-me (me being him) stage…And I wonder how you can do that with a 2nd child? How do you look after a 3 year old (or thereabouts) while also cuddling a newborn and being glued to the couch etc? I don’t get it. Obviously women do it every day, which makes me wonder what’s wrong with me if I don’t think I’m cut out for it?!!! I’m sure I could handle one more (although I do think it would/will feel zoo like to live like that! lol) But how do people have more than 2 kids??! I’m not talking Jon and Kate plus 8 here – that was a fluke sort of freak of nature thing, I don’t think it was planned. And I’m not talking Octo-Mom here either since she herself is obviously a freak of nature. And I guess the more I think about it, the more obvious it becomes that a lot, if not most, people who have many children probably aren’t consciously WANTING to get pregnant as often as they do but it happens, perhaps due to religion saying contraceptives are evil or a husband demanding his seed be planted as many times as possible, blah blah blah. So I do realize circumstances sometimes make it so a person doesn’t have a choice and people manage to persevere somehow. But how DO you persevere in a situation like that? I couldn’t imagine having 3 kids, let alone 6, 7, 8, 9 and so on. It’s crazy. And how do you AFFORD that many kids? Sure you keep stuff for hand-me-downs, it’s different when it’s the first child and most of what they’re getting is brand new. But even if we were buying second hand, it’s expensive having a baby if you want them to have things to play with and do, and expensive too in the sense of losing your income if you are able to stay home (and if you have tons of kids you’d HAVE to stay home – how could you afford daycare for that many – you might as well see it that you’re running your OWN daycare in that sense!) I just wonder sometimes how people make ends meet at all. I know a lot of people struggle but they still seem to keep their sanity enough not to go completely insane and say I CAN’T DO THIS!

Children are a miracle and I truly do believe that having a baby has made my world a zillion times better and more rewarding and I wouldn’t trade being a mom for ANYTHING but I just don’t know how I could survive having many of them! I thank my lucky stars Andrew wasn’t TWINS when I pass a twin stroller on the street! LOL I just couldn’t do it I don’t think. Andrew is a gem enough all on his own, thank you very much!

Well, he seems to be tired of the play pen now. On to the next activity. Time for Jumpy Jumps!

Monday, June 22, 2009

A mixture of things...

I reeeeally need to organize pictures, print pictures, get pics up on Flickr for family to view, continue scrapbooking…Among other things.

I got so many stickers and supplies for my Andrew scrapbook and I’ve done a few pages of it so far but it’s so hard to find the time. I just get started on it and Andrew wakes up from a nap or dinner needs to be made or I don’t have the energy to get creative.

Right now the babe is in his play pen, playing with his play mat toys. Most likely it will be a short lived play time but he’s in there for the moment!

I HATE the new caramilk commercial. The one where they're doing an 'interpretive dance.' It actually borderline scares me.

Not sure what the plan is for today. It’s almost noon. I feel like it should be 4 or 5 o’clock by now. Not that it’s ‘one of those days’ really because it hasn’t been exhausting so far or anything, I’m just generally tired. I’ve been worried I might be coming down with something, and Andrew has been quite sniffle-y so far today, but hopefully it’s nothing…


On Saturday I got my hair cut. Not coloured – usually I do both at once but I didn’t have time for a 3 hour appointment, and it wasn’t all that long ago I had it done. The cut just needed a touch-up as it seemed to grow in way faster from the last time and it was driving me crazy. It feels sooo much better now. I love having shorter hair, it’s so much easier to maintain. And Andrew can’t hurt me as much when he pulls on it, which inevitably happens!! This morning I was laying in bed facing away from him (James put him into bed with me when he got up to get ready for work) and he started grabbing at my hair and then because it’s shorter and the way he was grabbing, it ended up feeling like he was putting his hands through my hair. LOL It was very cute. HE is very cute!!

After my hair cut we went and picked up our professional photos from Sears and brought them home. That night (and partly tomorrow since it was so loooong) we watched The Curious Case of Benjamin Button…It was ok but also kind of pointless. Anyone else have this reaction to it? I liked it but at the same time I didn’t. I think it was far too long – we’d watch a whole scene and after I’d think why did that even need to be in there?! I don’t know. I think there was a lot of hype over the film just because of who was in it but really, it was a bit of a waste. I like the concept but at the same time it didn’t really work somehow.

So…yesterday was James’ first Father’s Day! I got up with Andrew in the morning and let James sleep in a bit. Then he got his cards and gifts – Andrew and I got him a few shirts, including a shirt for Andrew that is a fairly good match to one of the shirts for James, so they can wear them together =) We also got him a travel mug with pictures of Andrew and the three of us as a family on it.

I made breakfast – an omelette with hashbrowns. Then we lounged around a bit, James got phone calls galore to wish him a happy day. Then his bro and bro’s girlfriend came over for a visit. We ended up talking about the m-i-l, but it was good to get their perspectives and know where we all stand. They basically feel the exact same way as me. I just wish I could get some closure, but I’m working on just not caring. I have to keep reminding myself that SHE is the one who ultimately is going to miss out.

After their visit we got Andrew sorted and we went to a craft store on Main Street to get more plaster foot mold kits for Andrew’s feet/hands. Did I write already that we got one, tried it, but found his foot to be too big so one kit wasn’t enough? So we doubled up the recipe and got a foot done so far! We’re also going to do one of his hands, maybe tonight we’ll do that one. The foot turned out so cute, it’s not perfect in the sense that some of the plaster seemed to go a bit wonky but I’m going to try to fix it somehow. The toes look SO cute though and you can see all the indentations in the bottom of his foot. I am in love with his baby footsies!!

We walked home past the festivities for the Dragon Boat festival by Science World. It was a nice day and I made sure to dote on James as much as I could for being such a great Daddy to our boy =)

It’s a few hours later now, Andrew needed my attention and one thing led to another and I didn’t have time to finish this post. He ate some rice cereal and didn’t grump about it!! Yay, we’re getting somewhere! He doesn’t seem to care for the peaches though…He really screws up his face and then refuses to open his mouth for a while! We’ll try apple sauce again tomorrow, with the cereal.

I read Andrew some books today and he’s doing jumpy jumps now for the 2nd time today. He’s pretty much already run the gamut of ‘things to do’ aside from going for an outing but it doesn’t look nice out so I think we’ll stay in today. Maybe go for a walk tonight if James is up for it.

Renee Zellweger is on Rachael Ray and she is so bizarre looking – she’s obviously had a lot of work done. Her face barely moves at all when she talks. Why do people do that to themselves?

Oh, I gave Andrew a bath last night after he had the plaster on his foot and he loves having a rubber ducky in the bath with him now! At my baby shower I got a little miniature rubber ducky so that’s the one I let him play with since it’s a good size for him. How cute is that?! Baby’s first ducky! I sang him the ‘Rubber Ducky You’re the One’ song while he had his bath. I love experiencing all these ‘firsts’ with him!

Saturday, June 20, 2009

A little sleep goes a long way...

It’s amazing the difference a few hours sleep makes for a person’s mood. Last night I really started to notice that hopelessness feeling creeping up on me. It’s such a bizarre feeling, one I never had until I found out what true sleep deprivation really was! When it happens there’s still a part of me that can rationalize and knows why I’m feeling the way I am, but the part that’s feeling it just seems to sink further and further into despair. Andrew, despite sleeping from about 7:15pm-11:00pm (when we actually woke him up for a bit – the first time really that I’ve woken him up purposely when he’s sound asleep!!) slept through the night from about 1am till just before 7, so I got almost 6 hours. I’m going to try to get a bit more before I really have to be up for the day. I think he MAY go back to sleep in his crib without too much effort (though one never knows for sure!)

Yesterday we had a bit of an outing but nothing really exciting, just to pick up a few things from the store and get a bit of a walk in. Andrew is such a charmer though…We walked past the construction site and even some construction workers were taken with his smiles and cuteness, which is a rarity I find! In the line-up at the store I met a couple with their little baby and I was sure Andrew was twice his age, given their size difference. It turned out their baby was 2 months OLDER than Andrew! And 2 pounds less. The woman was saying how she hoped her baby would get big like mine! LOL He is quite a lad. Definitely big for his age. We tried to do a mold of his foot tonight (the reason for waking him up when he was out – that and we KNEW he wouldn’t sleep through the night if he didn’t get up at all given how early he’d crashed) and it said for 0-6 months so we figured it would be enough of the stuff to do the mold but lo and behold his feet are giant and his toes stuck out too much and basically the whole thing kit had to be thrown out because his giant oversized feet were too much for it =S The thing is I absolutely ADORE his toes…I think they are one of my favourite things in the whole world. No, I KNOW they are! Those FEET!!! I just love them. So I NEED to preserve them and this ‘precious stone mold kit’ thing is the perfect way…but we’re going to have to buy 2 of them and double up on the amount to get his foot to fit!

What a guy we have =)

Lots to do today, time to catch a little more shut eye before it all begins.

Friday, June 19, 2009

Broken record...

A few things are bugging me.

One being the same old same old saga of the m-i-l.

For numerous reasons of course…She STILL hasn’t made any effort to be in contact with me and it’s been nearly 6 months. I STILL can’t believe that she refuses to take accountability for her actions. Always has to pass the buck on to anyone and everyone else. Even though I know she’s not worth a second thought, I still feel hurt when I think about the way she abandoned us all at new years, right when Andrew was born.

Why this is all being conjured up is because she sent a package for Andrew. Which sounds like a nice thing to do for him but the problem for me is that it just seems insane to send him something yet still be pretending I don’t exist. Obviously I’d be seeing what’s in the mail. I just don’t understand how this relationship is supposed to work if I am not included in it.

What irks me the most is that she has even erased my name from Andrew’s name. He has a hyphenated last name, mine followed by James’. I had numerous conversations with her before Andrew’s birth regarding what his last name would be and why. She even agreed with me, being a feminist herself, that the mother’s name should be included. But because she seems to want to pretend I don’t exist, when she sends things for Andrew (which isn’t often, but has happened a few times) she only writes James’ last name on the label. I KNOW she knows what his name is because the last time this happened I was upset about it and mentioned it to James. He reminded her what Andrew’s name is so she’d put the whole thing the next time. Yet yesterday when I picked up the mail there was a package for ‘Andrew (insert James’ last name here).’

It made my blood boil to see that. Honestly what I wanted to do was Return to Sender and circle the last name and write, ‘No one by this name lives at this address.’ To me that would send the message that needs to be sent! But of course James was totally against that due to the fact that he would have to face her wrath, even though I’d be the one doing it. He said he’s going to tell her it’s ‘not cool’ to not include my name. But that just doesn’t seem like enough to me. He already did that and it had no effect.

We still haven’t opened the package because I can’t stand to look at it, but he’s most likely talking to her on Sunday (she should at least acknowledge him on his first Father’s Day – despite that she ignored me on Mother’s Day…) so he wants to open it so he can thank her for it when they talk next….


Is it wrong for me to feel like that sends a mixed message? On the one hand I do know that he supports me and understands why I feel the way I do about this whole situation. But on the other hand, doing something like that – accepting the gift despite all the craziness surrounding our relationships and sort of acting like all is well and somehow normal…it just makes me feel uneasy.

I really wish things had gone differently when Andrew was born. I want to get to a point where I can move on from all of this. There’s a chance she will never speak to me again – although I don’t know how that’s going to work for Andrew’s sake in years to come. But I do have to be able to deal with her in whatever way I can so I’m not so affected by her actions or lack thereof. I just don’t know how I can ever fully get over the hurt of giving birth to her first grandchild and not being congratulated for it. Of giving birth to such a precious baby and have her turn it around to be all about HER instead of HIM. That hurts me to no end. Why wouldn’t she want to make amends for that? How can she continue to try to twist it to be my fault? How COULD it be my fault when I was birthing a baby when it all happened?!


And then there’s another person who should see Andrew more but doesn’t really make an effort to and doesn’t seem to act excited about the prospect of us visiting and that bugs me too.

I am so glad my parents are so keen to be involved in Andrew’s life. They are so excited to see him and want to see him as often as possible. They make more than enough effort to show they care and Andrew even recognizes their voices on the phone because he’s been around them enough to know they’re a part of his life. Why other people wouldn’t want to be that connected to the cutest and more wonderful precious baby every to walk…er crawl…(lol) the earth is beyond me.

Enough venting. I can’t control other people, I can’t tell them how they should treat others. They are their own people and the only person I have control over is myself. I just wouldn’t mind seeing a bit more effort put out on other people’s parts. But I have to get over that. Somehow, I have to.

Thursday, June 18, 2009

Today's special

Today Andrew charmed everyone he saw at the hotel my mom’s staying at. He was all smiles!
We spent the day hanging out with my mom, then around 5 I brought Andrew home so he could do his jumpy jumps and have Exersaucer time and just work at getting rid of his energies!! After James was home and fed, the three of us borrowed my mom’s car to go get groceries. I like to get things like toilet paper, juices, pop (which I know I shouldn’t drink but I just have Coke Zero from time to time!) and other heavier/bulky items we can stock up on so I don’t have to always carry it all home in the stroller or on my back! It’s so much easier with a car. Though I must say, just driving the few blocks to the store was enough to remind me why I don’t drive over here and why I honestly never want to (and I was backseat driving, James got us there and back!) It’s chaotic on the road, everyone goes so fast and weaves in and out of lanes and traffic is so heavy, it stresses me out.

We were going to leave Andrew with my mom, who offered to babysit while we did the shop, but we took Andrew along because whenever he’s looked after by anyone but me he seems to get super hungry as soon as I’m gone and I only had 5 ounces of milk pumped. The plan was to get groceries, then we’d go to the hotel for a swim in the pool and then James would take Andrew home and my mom and I would go out for a drink or some food or both! 5 ounces would be enough to either go for the grocery shop OR go out later on and I wanted to go out later on. So Andrew came with us and James wheeled him around the store and got a few things while I did the majority of the shopping. It worked well, Andrew got a bit fussy as we were paying but letting him play with a plastic bag distracted him so he forgot about being upset. And no, I didn’t just hand him a plastic bag and not supervise him – I obviously wouldn’t advise giving a baby a bag as a ‘toy’ but I was with him the whole time and I just kept scrunching it up and letting him feel it! He’s really into textures now so he loved the crinkling sound and feel of the bag.

We came home, unloaded the car, I put the perishables away and stacked everything else to put away later and off we went for our swim. Andrew was so cute in his Superman swimsuit! And he LOVED the pool this time! He was actually kicking his legs and even moved his arms a bit and James had him absolutely grinning away. It was the cutest thing. For a while James was with Andrew in the pool and I went and sat in the Jacuzzi. I was watching them and it was such a tender moment, just watching James holding Andrew and seeing them smiling together and enjoying the water. I was thinking, WOW, that’s my husband and OUR SON, we have a baby! It’s funny how he’s almost 6 months old and yet I still sometimes can’t believe it’s true that he is here. I can’t imagine life without him but I also can’t believe what a miracle it is that we created him. A whole new human being! I love seeing him experience fun/interesting/new/good things. Watching him take everything in through his fresh pair of eyes. He is a delight!

While James lounged in the Jacuzzi, I fed Andrew (concealing myself with a robe – although we were the only ones there by that point so I guess it didn’t matter much!) Andrew gets soooo hungry when we take him swimming! LOL I don’t know what it is but the water makes him hungry!
After getting changed and giving Andrew a million kisses – and James a few too, but the poor guy doesn’t get nearly as many as Andrew these days! Oops, sorry hubby o’ mine!! It’s not intentional! – off they went home and I met up with my mom. My brother ended up being there too, so it was nice to have a visit the 3 of us. Too bad my dad wasn’t able to be over too. I got home and Andrew was (and still is!) sound asleep in his crib and James was asleep too, with the monitor on of course. So I got the rest of the groceries put away and here I am.

It was a great day.
Andrew is continuing wanting to crawl and keeps going forwards a little bit and then backwards a lot! But he’s getting there! He is learning so quickly. A little tooo quickly!!

Oh and my mom and I had lunch at the hotel restaurant today, so it was Andrew’s first time at a restaurant for lunch! It went well…we were the only ones there so it worked out – I could put him on his blanket for tummy time etc. It’s not that he was noisy because he wasn’t, but he was VERY squirmy and full of energy so it wasn’t the most relaxing sit down lunch, but it worked out!

More to say, as always, but too tired to write anything more. Time for sleepy byes for this person!

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

The whole Letterman/Palin joke taken out of context debate is RIDICULOUS. Get over it, it was a JOKE!

I haven’t had time to sit down and write for AGES. I did manage to jot a few things down on paper here and there so I’d at least remember SOME things that have happened!
Andrew and I just got back from Nanaimo yesterday. It was my grandma’s 75th birthday last week so we had a family party at my parents’ place this past weekend. It was nice seeing everyone – especially one of my cousins’ little baby who was just under 2 months old. We finally met him for the first time!
But let me start from the beginning. There will be gaps for sure but here are some of the details of the past week:

On Wednesday (the 10th), Andrew got his first mosquito bite. Awww! He didn’t seem bothered by it. Of course, it’s hard to really know – aside from scratching his face occasionally I don’t think he actually knows how to scratch an itch yet!

Also on Wednesday, Andrew ate apple sauce and LOVED it. He didn’t just tolerate it like the times we’ve given it to him before. He kept trying to get his mouth to the spoon before it was even near his face. He ate over a tablespoon of apple sauce without milk mixed with it. He did have a little bowl of milk (with the spoon, just to keep getting him used to the spoon!) but not together with the sauce.
On Thursday (the 11th) he had his first medicine…Baby Orajel. Poor baby and his growing teeth. I’ve been resisting using the Orajel because I’d rather not use medications at such an early age if I can help it. But when all else fails…He was so fussy and obviously upset by his teeth. He seemed interested by the sensation of the numbness, and also no doubt the new flavour of cherry! It did seem to help, albeit for a short period of time. I’ve used it a number of times since but not every day – just when he seems beside himself and absolutely nothing else works.

He has taken to sleeping on his side – when I put him into his crib he automatically turns to be on his left side. He does this at my parents’ house too, whether he is in his bassinet/crib thing we have there for him, or if he’s in the bed with me. He is a side sleeper for sure! Sometimes he ends up on his back through the night - like this:
but he likes to start off on his side!

With his teething he has taken to biting my nipples. My poor, sore nipples. It hurts SO much when his teeth – which are like teensy tiny RAZORS – clamp down (or should I say up, since they’re bottom teeth!) that I immediately feel tears welling up in my eyes when he does it. I just want to sob when he does it. It’s that bad. I am so concerned each time he’s about to latch on now that he’ll bite so I am practically wincing every time he goes to latch because I’m anticipating this awful sudden stabbing pain!! It’s not pleasant. I can’t wait till his top teeth start coming in too (said with sarcasm). !!! When he’s really fussing and I KNOW it’s from his teeth, I am now using a bottle of pumped milk if I can, so if he wants to chew on the nipple of it he can go ahead.
I had a terrible headache on the 11th, after a night of only about 3-4 hours sleep and a day with a fussy boy. I ended up getting rid of the headache but had another night of just 3 hours of sleep. It was not enough!

On the 12th my mom and I went and got the supplies for my grandma’s party and did a bit of shopping. James came over that evening after work. Saturday was the party and like I said, it was nice to see a bunch of the family that we don’t usually see – and especially not all together. The highlight of the party was getting Andrew and Ben (his new baby cousin) into the little kiddie pool my parents got for Andrew. Ben borrowed one of Andrew’s bathing suits and Andrew showed off his new superman bathing suit (sooo cute – the cape is a towel! We got it on our Lonsdale Quay adventure a few weeks back, or whenever that was!) The babies were so cute in the water together. Andrew was really grabbing for the toys we put in it and Ben was looking around trying to assess the situation. It was so adorable! Andrew absolutely loves the water, he is definitely going to be a swimmer! I am hoping to get him started with lessons in the next few months if I can find a class nearby to sign us up for.
Here are some of the rest of the highlights of our island time:

-Andrew had a run in with the police! But luckily he didn’t get arrested. Haha – some friends of the family (who both happen to be police officers) came over for a visit. I bought Andrew an RCMP onesie from a store near Gastown so I had him wearing it especially for their visit =)
-Baby’s getting a rash on his knees from CRAWLING! He has started crawling backwards. In the past few days he’s started taking a few ‘steps’ (crawls) forward. He mostly goes backwards though. He’s really working on it tho, he does the back and forth swimming sort of motion with his body. He’s going to be reeeally moving in no time at all!
-He also had naked pool time on Sunday – he absolutely loved it! He doesn’t get to be completely naked often since I’m always worried he’s going to do his business while the diaper is off but I swear he is happiest when he’s in his birthday suit!

-Andrew ate oatmeal cereal but didn’t like it…we’ll keep trying.

-He saw caterpillars for the first time!
-And the best news of all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MY BROTHER AND HIS GIRLFRIEND ARE GETTING MARRIED! They announced the good news to us after the party (they’re just telling immediate family for the time being). The news totally threw me off guard. I actually had some tears! I felt so emotional about it. I am soooo happy. Now the person I refer to as my s-i-l will OFFICIALLY be my s-i-l!! They’re not getting hitched till Nov of 2010 but still, just knowing it’s happening makes me so happy. Not that they couldn’t have just gone on as they are living ‘like’ they’re married – that would be fine too, but there’s something so special about tying the knot, in my opinion. And if you knew them and what they’re like, you’d be shocked like me that they’ve decided to take the plunge. I am soooo excited!!!!! I love N like a sister, I couldn’t ask for someone better for my brother to be with.

Nothing much else…My mom and I went to the craft store and I stocked up on so many stickers and things for scrapbooking – specifically my Andrew scrapbook that I’m getting started on FINALLY! I’m so excited. Now I just need to set aside - er, make that FIND the time to actually work on it.

Yesterday we came back to Vancouver with my mom, who’s staying for a few days. Monday night we went over to James’ bro’s place to have a visit since their dad was over. Today (Tuesday) Andrew and I met up with my mom for a while and then the babe and I went to our mom/baby group. There was no particular topic today to discuss, we just chatted with one another. It was fun. Andrew was just grinning at everyone! I met some nice people and I’m going to join a different group since this one ends next week. I’m glad I made a contact for another group. After that we came home, Andrew napped and I got some stuff done. My soon-to-be-official-s-i-l texted me and suggested she babysit Andrew while my mom, James and I go to dinner so I took her up on it. If you knew N you’d know how much it means for her to volunteer to babysit – she’s a bit wary of babies and her ability to care for them etc. Although I have total faith in her or I wouldn’t have said yes! She does seem to enjoy Andrew a lot! It went really well. We were only gone about an hour and a half, if that. But it was a good amount of time and while Andrew did require a lot of holding and walking around and constant attention – of course – he was all smiles for the most part. So N will be babysitting again, no problem =)
Spent the evening at the hotel with my mom. Andrew fed and slept for a few HOURS while we watched tv and chatted. Got Andrew right into his crib without him even stirring when we got home at 10:30 and he’s still asleep now. I should get to sleep while I have the chance – I have a feeling he’ll be awake soon and then he won’t want to sleep since he snoozed a lot more today than his usual. I just thought I should get something written while I had the chance. There is so much more I want to write about but no energy…I think this post is already long and ramble-y enough anyway =P

Tuesday, June 09, 2009

Island time

Yesterday Andrew went to the dog park for the first time – we went with my s-i-l since she was taking their bulldog for some play time. A bunch of the dogs came running up to the stroller to give Andrew a sniff. How cute is that?! He scrunched his face a few times but wasn’t upset – was probably just wondering what the heck those weird looking things were ;) I think it’s good to expose him to dogs early on so he’s used to them, since I don’t want him to be one of those people who’s freaked out by dogs. So far he seems to like them – he’s spent time with the Spannies in Nanaimo of course, and Maude over here.

He’s also showing a lot more interest in the kitty cats! Fiona especially, given that she’s interested in him too and likes to lay near him. When he cries she comes up and sniffs at him as if to try to see what’s wrong. I of course keep an eye out that he doesn’t grab at them too quickly, since I don’t want him getting scratched. Eventually he’ll have to get hurt by them to realize he can’t just grab them and play in the way he thinks is fun – but he’s too young yet for that kind of learning. I’d like to prolong the inevitable as long as possible in that regard!! I remember the first time I got scratched by our family cat, Rosy. It was the day we got her (I was six). I grabbed her and she scratched me so bad it looked like I’d tried to slit my wrist! BUT I did learn immediately that I had to respect her, and I did after that. Not that I never got scratched again, but still!

It’s cute watching Andrew become interested in things. He is so grabby now – I can hold a toy in front of him and he will take it from me. Often gleefully. He loves his toys! Some of them he only plays with occasionally – the hard plastic ones that he ends up grabbing and hitting himself with and then cries. After learning that he does that and it’s of course not a good situation (maybe that’s why these toys say ‘6 months +’!!!), I now just bring them out sometimes and play with them so he can watch and interact with them a bit but not take them himself. I’ll say, ‘What’s this, Andrew?’ and when he sees the toy he starts grinning and watching it intently. It’s the cutest thing!

Right now he’s watching cartoons. He’s hooked! At least if it’s a cartoon made for kids I don’t feel so guilty. He is also hooked on 21 Jump Street like we are, and I don’t think that’s entirely good. Sometimes I don’t let him watch it – it depends on what’s happening, what the topic of the day is!

I have a tv crush…on Doug Penhall (Peter DeLuise). LOL Too bad he left the show right when I started to like him ;( James thinks it’s absolutely hilarious, this crush I have. I don’t even know why I have it! But I read that Peter DeLuise lives here in Vancouver and I just hope I don’t run into him because I would be all gaga and wouldn’t know what to do. LOL How ridiculous is that?! I never get crushes so I guess I’m being kind of awkward about it!

Anyway, Gramma and Grampa get to see their precious grandson soon and they are soooo excited!! It’ll be nice spending some time on the island, having yard time. They even got him a little pool for the backyard. I’m so happy it’s summer time already! It’s going to be so much fun in the coming months, taking him to the beach, making sandcastles and other fun summer kid activities. He’ll be a little young for it but I think we’ll still be able to do a lot!

Time to finish getting ready. So much to pack for such a seemingly little baby!

Monday, June 08, 2009

We had fun this weekend

On Saturday – after Andrew and I had a morning sea wall stroll at 8am - we took Andrew on his first ride on the sea bus to the Lonsdale Quay Market in North Van. It was such a fun afternoon! James was the one who suggested we go, and I’m so glad he did!
A highlight from the outing:
Andrew getting his very first helium balloon! He was very intrigued by it and pulled the string a lot to bring it closer to his face. He kept looking up at the big yellow balloon. When we got home we let it go and watched it sail away into the sky.
In general we just had a great outing. It was something different and even though the Quay isn’t my favourite place, it’s fun to go there once in a while. I hadn’t been since early in my pregnancy. We went and had Beavertails and got some yummy foods to bring home for our supper.

Saturday night we rented from Shaw Video on Demand – Seven Pounds, the latest Will Smith movie. I gave it 2 thumbs down. I was so disappointed because I had really high expectations. People said they bawled their eyes out watching it. I get emotional during movies these days but I didn’t even feel so much as a hint of a tear. I just felt there were so many loopholes and the whole thing seemed so unbelievable on so many levels. Too bad. I suggest not bothering to see it, but that’s just me. James liked it more than I did.

Today I went to the spa! I got a gift certificate from my brother and s-i-l the day after Andrew was born and finally 5 months and one week later I got to use it! I chose to get a facial, which included a scalp, neck, shoulders, arms and hands massage. Oooh was it ever relaxing! And my face is soooo soft now. After all the process of my skin getting back to normal after giving birth, it was nice to have that treatment done. The person who did the treatment said I have porcelain skin. I can live with that!!

When I got home Andrew seemed so happy to see me. He had a good time with his Dad while I was out, of course, but he does love his Mommy! Even when I was doing some laundry tonight he kept having to look from the couch to make sure I was still in sight. I love how he loves me so much!!

On my way home from the spa I stopped at The Bay to look for something for bathing Andrew in the tub. He’s outgrowing the kitchen sink but I need something to put him on or in in the tub since I can’t bathe him on my own just by plopping him into the big tub – he will slip and slide and I’m afraid he’d get out of my arms and fall over. So far I haven’t found anything though. I did, however, find more clothes to buy him!! Everything I was looking at was 30% off so how could I resist?! 2 pairs of shorts and 2 tops. Adorable stuff!! He looks cute in everything.

When I got home I washed my hair and we got ourselves sorted after having some lunch and then off we went to run some errands and get some fresh air. Went to LD’s and Safeway and came home. Hung around, watched some 21 Jump Street…which I am so upset about because it’s the last season and my fave character Doug Penhall just left the show so I feel like it’s pointless to even bother watching now (although I will!) Most people we know think the show is ridiculous but James and I love it!
I’ve been getting lots of organizational stuff done. On Friday I got Andrew a play pen so in order to make it fit in our small space I had to do some re-arranging. It fits between the living room and kitchen, which is perfect. In the process I got some other things organized that I’ve been wanting to clean up for a while so I’m feeling pretty good about things around here. Of course there is always more to be done but at least it’s getting there!
Andrew was absolutely adorable today, as always. Lot of jumpy jumps and big grins and tummy time and in-general-cuteness. Most perfect baby ever!!
All in all it was a great weekend. The only downside is it having to end.

Thursday, June 04, 2009

Cuddles & Quiche

I feel like I’ve accomplished a lot already today and it’s only 3:00!

First off, it was a horrible night sleep-wise. One night to the next is never the same, you just never know how it’s going to go!

I think part of the problem last night was the heat. In fact, I know it was.
Andrew fed at 2am. Then about an hour later I heard him whimpering a bit on the monitor but he went back to sleep on his own. Then at about 4 the alarm started going on the monitor…which is supposed to mean that it’s not detecting a heart beat (panic city for mom!) BUT I figured out very quickly what the actual problem was. The temp had gone up to 28 degrees in the nursery, and I had the monitor set to let me know if it goes above 27. Which itself is too hot for anyone but what can you do, our apartment cooks.

I got up of course and fixed the monitor setting, which of course beeped loudly, woke Andrew up, and he needed another feed/comfort cuddle. We were up just a little while, then I put him back in his crib. I was going to just bring him to our bed but I figured 3 bodies in bed would make us all even warmer so he may as well stay put in his crib. I put the A/C on to get the temp down a bit. James brought him to me just before 8:30. I fed him and FINALLY we drifted back to sleep, off and on, for about 2 hours. It wasn’t a good sleep though and I kept having nightmares. I felt so groggy when we got up but surprisingly got over it quickly and feel pretty good about the day so far.

Andrew is doing his jumpy jumps. I’ve got a mirror propped against the wall so he can watch himself jump and he seems to be enjoying that! And of course he’s done all his usual play times. He’s having a lot more tummy time lately. With the heat he just wears a diaper and enjoys rolling around on the blanket, reaching out for his toys. He keeps doing a swimming sort of motion, which I think means he’s working on a crawl. He gets so annoyed sometimes that he can’t get moving, but then he starts rolling again and gets around quite easily that way!

I put some lotion on him yesterday for massage time and I think it gave him a rash, since he seems to have a bit of a rash all over everywhere I massaged him. It could be a heat rash I guess but it seems like a strange coincidence that it happened right after I used lotion on him. Babies have such sensitive skin. What’s weird is it’s the same brand as the wash gel I use on him (Fruits & Passion) so you’d think it wouldn’t bother him if the gel stuff doesn’t but oh well. Glaxobase is a great lotion that seems to work well on his skin and is rich and recommended by nurses so I think I’ll just stick to what works from now on!
It’s so cute, he keeps looking at his hand and seems to think, wow, look at this cool thing! And he sort of twists and turns it in front of his face. He started doing that fairly early on but then stopped for a while and lately he’s found his hands again.

So I gave Andrew a bath a little while ago to hopefully help with the rash and also to cool him down a bit since it’s so warm in here. Even with the air conditioner it’s just sweltering. And it doesn’t help that I decided to make the quiche today! But it had to be made sometime. I want to serve it cold so it seems a bit more summery since it’s a rather wintery quiche otherwise (it’s a cranberry and ricotta cheesecake with sage. Should be really yummy cold!) I don’t know how well it will have turned out – I always worry that when I’m making something like this I’m going to somehow screw it up. I think it seems a little watery somehow, even though I did everything exactly by the recipe. We’ll find out tonight how it tastes!

While I prepared the quiche, I had Andrew in his play mat set up in the kitchen so he could watch me if he wanted to. When I was putting the egg beaters on I knew they might upset him with the sudden noise, so I told him it was going to be loud (as if he could understand me!) and then just put them on for a second and turned it off and grinned at him and made it seem like it was funny. He was about to start crying because of the noise but I’m pretty sure it was because I kept on making it seem like something fun that he didn’t get too upset. Then I started getting the eggs and cheese etc beaten and he was ok with it. Phew! He’s such a good boy, he was starting to get a bit antsy by the time I was finishing up but he was so well behaved – content to just play and look around while I got the food prepared.
Oh and I got all my pics off my camera onto the computer AND backed up onto the black box. AND I started getting the pictures ready for Andrew’s album, although that’s going to take more time and printing and I need James to look after the boy while I do it, so I’ll work more on that tonight. It’s an album my uncle got us, it’s chewable plastic so Andrew will love that! and you put pics in of who loves baby. I’m trying to find good pics of people (closer up so he can recognize the people and expressions) and I want to add their names so when he looks at it we can say the names and he can eventually do associations.

I will wait till later to clean the stove/oven – my excuse there is that it’s still hot with having been used today, so I can’t do that yet! BUT it’s most likely a night time job anyway since it’s too hot to be breaking my back cleaning out the oven. It’s a horrible job but I do it so rarely and it really does need to be done.

No rest for the wicked!! But it feels good to be productive.

The moon is shining brightly through the window

I feel surprisingly energetic for this time of night (12:30am). AND…I was about to say ‘AND I didn’t even have a coffee tonight’ but then I remembered the cappuccino I made around 7:30! One shot of espresso doesn’t really count, though, right?!

Here’s a list of things I need to do:

Back-up pics etc onto black box

Clean stove/oven


Make quiche

Print pics for Andrew's album

Ummm, yeah…As energetic as I feel, I am not up for list-making at the moment. There are of course a ton of other things I need to do but what’s the point in writing it down? It will get done and then there will be another list of to do’s.

Andrew slept well again last night – probably about 7 hours. I still like to stay up a few hours after he goes to bed but it still works out because he generally is up for a diaper change and feed and then drifts back to sleep with me for another hour or two. I’ve been feeling the past few days like I’m getting enough sleep. I don’t think it actually IS enough but it’s so much better than it was. If I did start going to bed earlier, there’s a good chance I could get a normal night’s sleep. Imagine, 7 whole hours of sleep all in a row?! I feel like I’m dreaming just thinking about it!!

However, I tend to like to stay up. I’ve been working on Andrew’s scrapbook, and tonight I made buttermilk biscuits and chocolate chip cookies. My plan was to also make a quiche but it involves using the egg beaters and I didn’t want to make the noise of it at midnight. I doubt the neighbours would be able to hear it but I wouldn’t want to startle Andrew. He does well with noise but a sudden noise like that that he’s never heard before could make him cry!

I’ll hopefully make the quiche tomorrow. I got all the ingredients for it so I HAVE to make it soon!!

Why did I suddenly get on this kick of wanting to bake and cook when it’s freaking BOILING hot inside and out?! Even with our air conditioner on it’s currently 27 degrees in here. Cripes that’s hot. Yes, I use the word cripes. I think it’s a hilarious word!

Today Andrew was adorable as always. We got up and he had some time in his Exersaucer and he fed and then I got us ready and we went to Safeway to get everything for all the recipes I want to make. I was going to hold off but we were out of some essentials so I figured I might as well get the stuff while I was there. I was very efficient, went strictly by the list and managed to carry it all between the stroller and a backpack. The hardest part is just collecting up the groceries in the store – navigating the stroller and carrying the basket. Although I’m definitely getting the hang of it! I still think there should be something that attaches to the stroller that you can put the groceries in while you shop though – that would be soooo helpful!

I figured shopping in the morning would save us from being out in the sweltering heat, but by 11am it was already boiling. We got home, I got the groceries put away and Andrew settled playing. We did our usual of Jolly Jumps, play mat, Exersaucer. I gave Andrew a bath today – he has outgrown his baby bath that fit into the sink so I just plopped him right into the sink (on a towel so it would be cushiony for him!) and he smiled right away. He loves being a big boy and doing big boy things! He was splashing around and trying to move about. It’s getting a bit hard to bathe him on my own now that he moves around so much! We’ve got to find something to put in the bathtub so I can start bathing him in there.

I made a mashed potato bake as part of our dinner tonight (that was delish, might I add – with Gouda cheese and interesting spices and other yummy goodness!) and while I was cooking I needed to occupy Andrew. I’d just given him his bath so he was only dressed in his diaper and was chilling out in his play mat. I brought the play mat into the kitchen so he’d be near me and after a few minutes he had fallen fast asleep! He stirred a few times but slept for longer than he has in days – probably half an hour. Which sounds like NOTHING I know but he rarely naps throughout the day. 10 minutes here and there, mostly while we’re cuddling, but not for any real length of time. So it was great – he was completely relaxed and I was able to get part of dinner prepared without any difficulties.

We had a bit of an outing tonight, nothing major, just to pick up some onions that I didn’t get this morning. Mostly just had a nice little meander outside to get some air. It was a perfect night for being outside – it was really warm but there was just a hint of cool in the air to prevent me from sweating. It was wonderful.

Andrew did so many cute things today, I wish I could document absolutely everything! I wish I had a video camera in my eye so I could record it all and be able to play it back in perfect form! He is just oh so delightful.

Oh yeah...he had his milk and applesauce tonight...about 2 bites. He hated it this time! Better luck tomorrow night =P

Wednesday, June 03, 2009

Living life

I haven’t found the time to write in such a long time. Or at least that’s how it feels. I keep thinking, I really should write in my journal today, but something always happens and I don’t.

Andrew is becoming more energetic than ever. At our moms/babies group today he was bouncing on my lap practically the whole time – and it was an infant massage class! LOL He could not sit or lie still. He was rolling all over the place and I had to keep trying to get him back onto his little blanket on the mats so he wouldn’t roll right over onto another baby’s blanket! He was the most rambunctious one there. And since he is really intent on grabbing anything in sight now, he grabbed at his blanket and had it all bunched up – he may as well not have had it there at all! He’s quite a character.
The grabbing is a major thing I have to watch (I know, look out for the crawling and walking – omg, what a nightmare that will be!!) It’s bad enough he grabs at my hair and has almost ripped my nose stud out several times. But I also have to be careful what I walk near when I’m holding him because his little hands are swift and I wouldn’t want him getting a hold of breakable ornaments, for example. Today was the first day he really tried to grab for my cups when I was drinking while holding him – not good when it’s blueberry juice! That could be messy. Gone are the days when I could ‘safely’ drink a cup of coffee with baby on my lap!
He’s a real gem though, let me tell you! His energy can be draining in that I just don’t get enough rest to feel like I can fully keep up to him – although I somehow manage. But it amazes me each and every day how much he is learning and changing and GROWING.

Today was a bit of a victory in terms of our ‘food issues’! He just would not take to the rice cereal no matter what we did. Nor the mashed banana. After trying so many times without success, tonight we decided to try spoon feeding him just breast milk. Normally we’d mix the milk with some of the cereal or banana…but this time it was ONLY breast milk. At first he was clasping his gums shut because he had trained himself to do that every time he saw a spoon going near his mouth! BUT he eventually got a spoonful and realized it was his prized milk and no weird textures! So he was gobbling it up! It was so cute to watch, he kept trying to push his face toward the spoon even when it was in the bowl, and he’d do his little head bobbing gesture that he usually does when he’s working to latch onto my nipple, trying to get to the milk! So after he was hooked on the milk, we added (as per a friend’s suggestion who just got her baby eating solids the past few months) a tiny bit of apple sauce. Well he loved it! It was a big hit. We slowly added more apple sauce so the ratio wasn’t way off. He didn’t have a lot, maybe a tablespoon or two. But that’s actually considered a lot for a first time feed of something. Towards the end of the meal we had added too much apple sauce, I think, because he sort of gagged and screwed up his face as if it was really tart or something! LOL I took that as a sign to stop and let him digest and try again tomorrow. He was lapping it up though and aside from that one little gag, he didn’t spit up AT ALL! I now have faith that he WILL eventually take to solids after all!!!!! And sooner rather than later, I hope, since by 6 months he should be onto it and he’s only got this one month till he’s at that point! (Oh, where does the time go??!)
He is the cutest thing in the entire world. I’ve been calling him my little Tweety Bird the past few days. I guess the word ‘sweetie’ got turned into ‘Tweety’ so I added the Bird and he smiles when I call him that now. I guess I have lots of little names for him, such as Little Monkey Boy, Little Man, Love Bug, Babes, PooPoo Head (or just PooPoo, sometimes – LOL), and of course things like Andy, although rarely. I will generally stick to calling him Andrew, I would say. He reacts to his name now too. If I’m in the kitchen and he’s focused on his Exersaucer toys, I can call his name and he’ll look in my direction – and often follow his look with a smile! Cutest little guy EVER!!!!!

He is spitting up waaaay less than he used to. He still spits up, just not nearly as much and I probably COULD have him go without a bib occasionally (although better safe than sorry, right, and of course the bibs help with the slobbering, which he does more now that he’s teething!) His two little teeth are so adorable, they’re coming in slower now but they’re definitely sprouting! He goes through fussy spells every day and I’m pretty sure it’s his teeth that are bothering him. It looks like he’s madly chewing a piece of gum and he’ll stick his tongue out, put his lower lip inside his mouth to feel the teeth, or bite down on anything in sight in order to alleviate the pain. He will try to latch on but can’t eat for the pain so he’ll just squirm and bawl his eyes out until eventually he’s exhausted and falls asleep. Meanwhile of course I do everything I can possibly think of to help him but nothing works – although he does eventually take to the cuddles!

Since the weekend he’s been using his stroller sans car seat, so he’s sitting like a big boy facing outward instead of facing me. It was a big step for me to start this and be okay with it (it was James’ suggestion we go for it!) Andrew seems to enjoy it more than the car seat since he’s getting too big for it now. So many changes every day and some can be hard but then seeing him enjoy new things independently – even though that can be hard for a mom to get used to – is so rewarding. So it all balances out! Even though it’s sad to see certain things end because he’s getting too big, there are always new things to enjoy together! And at the end of the day we still always have our cuddle time (well, and throughout the day, but you know what I mean!) I know one day our cuddle time will be over completely SO I am just totally savouring this time that we do have together. It’s the single most wonderful experience of my entire life, being Andrew’s mom. Not that there aren’t other aspects to my life that are great and I don’t intend to make my whole life just about him and nothing else forever, but why not relish in that for a while, when it’s okay to do so because he’s still just a baby?! Only a mother could understand that I guess. But there just is nothing more important to me in the world than Andrew, and nor should there be! HOW COULD THERE BE??!
I REALLY need to start jotting down little notes of things that happened each day so I can write about them in my journal if I have time. I haven’t been doing that and every now and then I will think, oh I have to write about that! and then I completely forget whatever ‘that’ was and I have to wrack my brain trying to remember. The pregnancy amnesia never goes away, and I’m not even kidding. Such glorious things happen and then I can’t remember them because I didn’t write them down. Or I remember the event itself but not the day, and that sort of thing drives me CRAZY because I used to be someone who could remember all the minute little details of things!

Anyway…we’ve been doing well. Got out for a great outing to Lost Lagoon and 2nd and 3rd Beach this past Saturday. That was a GREAT afternoon! Andrew was so good and seemed to enjoy taking in all the sights. He got a bit fussy at one point but a diaper change did the trick, and carrying him for a little while! It was so cute watching him lounging at 2nd Beach. We were on the grass but there was some sand where we were and even though he was put on a blanket, he rolled part way off and got sand in his mouth and all over his face and he was trying to get the gritty bits off his tongue. LOL

Oh, and we went out to a restaurant on Sunday with my brother and sister in law but it didn’t go so well – Andrew was fussier than he usually ever is, wouldn’t feed, wouldn’t sit still, had to do jumpy jumps on my lap and wanted to be walked around outside…It was terrible and I felt like we wasted our money going out when it just couldn’t be enjoyable. I guess it’s 50/50…He does usually seem to be really well behaved when we’re out but you just never know what might happen. I’ll be apprehensive the next time we’re taking him to a sit-down restaurant, that’s for sure – though I know we have to take the risk every once in a while!! Of course, Murphy’s Law, he fell asleep from all the whining and crying ON THE WAY HOME about 2 minutes after we left the restaurant! Always the way ;P But oh well, what can you do, right?!
At least we’ve been getting out and enjoying the sunshine we’ve been having (although I keep Andrew as shaded as possible, of course). I love the spring, although it seems to have turned into summer really quickly! It’s a tad on the warm side for me but I don’t want to complain since it’s not raining and that’s the main thing! I love that we have the opportunity to be outside each day, at least for a little while.

And Andrew DOES seem to be sleeping slightly longer at night lately (he slept right through the night a few nights ago – about 7 hours (though I only got about 5 hrs sleep myself – but oh well! To get that IN A ROW is pretty amazing for me!) It’s not quite a pattern yet but I can see us getting there, slowly!

Aside from the fact that yes, of course, it would be sooooo nice if I could be getting decent sleep each night, that is my one and only complaint (being tired). Beyond that, I LOVE life right now, I love this family we’ve created and getting to spend time as a family in the evenings and on the weekends and getting to spend my days with my little bundle of joy! It’s hard and demanding work but oh so rewarding and worth every second! And soooo much fun! That boy just melts my heart =) From the top of his head, to the tips of his ADORABLE little toes!!!

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