Wednesday, April 29, 2009

I need to go veg for a while...better do it quick before Andrew wakes up!

I want to make a quiche. Sadly I’ve never made one before. Is that weird? I just have to find the time to actually DO IT. With Andrew around I find it hard to be in the kitchen for any real length of time, and I want to make this quiche RIGHT the first time around!! I have to wait till James is around, unless I am feeling really brave and think I can pull it off tomorrow…but most likely not. I’m tempted to get started on it right now but there’s this part of me that’s saying it’s not a good idea…I’m tired and once I get started I can’t really stop so…I think I’ll wait.

It’s the pastry part that’s an issue. I wanted to cheat and get a frozen pie crust BUT they were either filled with lard (Ew! Obviously not an option!) or they were all cracked and broken (lifting the boxes out of the freezer at Safeway was akin to shaking puzzle boxes! None of them sounded intact…) So instead of cheating I have to make it from scratch. It probably won’t take long at all, it just seems like a process in my mind. But I will make a quiche, oh yes, you mark my words! It WILL be made in the next few days, since I already got all the other ingredients for it – and I THINK I have all the ingred’s for making the pastry as well!

So I got my computer back!! Already!!! Go Future Shop! I am actually really impressed with their level of service this time. Soooo relieved. There was talk that the person in charge COULD say it was ‘personal damage’ that caused the clasps to break – meaning it was my own fault – meaning I would have to pay to have it fixed. Given my computer was $700 when I bought it and I tacked on a extra TWO HUNDRED SMACKERS for just a 2 year warranty (which is pretty steep if you ask me), the idea of having to pay extra to fix something that was NOT personal damage would make me livid. The good thing in all of this is that when I was told that, I took it in stride rather than getting worked up ahead of time over the idea of what might happen. What will be, will be, is what I thought, so I’m glad I didn’t waste any time worrying about something that ended up not being an issue (when trust me, normally I would!) I just can’t believe it only took a few days when they said they’d aim for 3 weeks =D I was delighted to be able to go pick it up today. And I guess it was worth it to have it back right away even though Andrew fussed and bawled THE ENTIRE WALK HOME. Longest half hour of my life! Well that’s not true, I can think of longer half hours (like all the half hours adding up to just short of 8 hours to deliver the little guy – hehe) but you catch my drift. It was not pleasant. He was Mr. Squirmy in his stroller and was only happy if I’d take him out and carry him. The problem is, he’s over 17lbs now (I would guess – we’ll find out tomorrow for sure at our dr’s appt!) so he’s very heavy to carry without the aid of a sling or, of course, the stroller. And I’d be able to carry him easily enough if not for the fact that I was also having to wheel around the giant stroller! It just wasn’t working well. So I’d stop and strap him back in and he’d have another fit. It went on and on till finally we went to a little park a few minutes from home and I fed him (I’d brought a bottle of pumped milk so I wouldn’t have to ‘whip it out’ – lol). He ate quite a bit and seemed satisfied enough. I’d tried feeding him before that along the way but he was too worked up to eat. He’s quite a character! Not sure what his problem was but I know it wasn’t anything major if he’d stop when I picked him up. He was just grumping for the sake of being heard =)

We’d already been to Safeway and not long before I got the call that the computer was ready so I should have known it probably wasn’t the best idea ever to have two outings like that so close together. It could have been much worse. At least he was quiet the entire way there!

What’s cool about the fact that the clasps on my computer had to be fixed is that it meant they replaced the entire top portion of my laptop, so the LCD screen was exchanged. The one I had before had 2 big chips in it and it WAS personal damage since I’d accidentally hit the cord on the screen once when I was going to plug it in. Shortly after getting it too and it always bugged me but I didn’t think I’d ever get a new screen! This one has a tiny chip in it, interestingly very close to where the chips were in the old screen, but it’s a big improvement from how it was so I can’t complain! It was quite a bonus to find out it was all replaced. And while some people might have been disappointed that they didn’t just replace the whole machine, since most likely it would have meant a free upgrade, I was happy to get MY computer back since all my programs are there and all my internet passwords and things are saved and I don’t have to reinstall and start over. So all is well!

On a totally unrelated topic, I am not a huge fan of veneers. Unless something tragic was to happen to your teeth, why feel the need for veneers? They look so fake, it’s so obvious they’re not your real teeth when they’re 100% perfect and so white they look as if they’d glow in the dark! What made me think of this was watching Lost tonight. I noticed how Matthew Fox’s (Jack’s) teeth were his actual teeth. They looked real, not terribly discoloured or anything but not white as snow either. They looked normal, and not only that but unique to him. Nothing at all wrong with that. Then I noticed Josh Holloway’s (Sawyer’s) teeth and they were definitely veneers. And with his tan (which I’d imagine IS natural given they’re living in Hawaii during the shooting of the show, although I might question why many of the actors DON’T seem to have a tan…Even I tan in Hawaii so you’d think everyone else would too!! But anyway!) Not that Josh Holloway isn’t good looking because he is (although I’d love to see his hair chopped off – lol) but the veneers stood out to me. Maybe he’s had them throughout the whole show and I only just noticed them now but for some reason they were so blatant to me tonight and then I started paying attention and I’d say a lot of them have them. I understand the desire for ‘perfection’ when you’re going to be on TV but I also find it so sad that we’re that superficial as to not want to see people with natural teeth on television!

Anyway…

What else is new? Not a whole lot. Well there probably is but I feel like just vegging while I have the chance so NIGHTY NIGHT!

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

A post

I am writing this from James' MAC, which screws with my head given everything I am used to seems to be the opposite! I'm a PC girl at heart. But it's better than nothing!

I miss my computer. It could be gone for 3 whole weeks but I'm keeping my fingers crossed it will be less.

I want to recap the past days that I haven't written but I'm too tired and can't remember anything right now. Other than the fact that Andrew is growing in leaps and bounds (what else is new?!) and he is grabbing at things a lot more, holding things a lot longer, and has discovered his feet! He is doing this new thing when I try to change him where he lifts his legs way up and then grabs his feet...OR he throws his feet against the wall and pushes with all his might, making the change pad on the change table move and threaten to fall to the floor - with him on it. He's quite the little bruiser. Can't take my eyes off him for a second already. And he grins away, as if he knows just how clever he's being!

We're doing well. Although he still has his cold and I feel bad for him - he's so plugged and I can tell it bugs him, though he's still in good spirits. He smiles so much and cries so little. I have nothing to complain about!

My mom came over just for the day today, she was going into grandson withdrawal :) It was nice to have her here.

I'm so happy the weather is improving - lots of perfect sunny days for going on walks and getting out for fresh air. Which is wonderful given our neighbour has gone back to smoking inside and letting the fumes travel through to our suite...but I won't go there at the moment. Don't need my blood boiling right before bed!

Over all moods are good. Been needing more sleep though, some nights only 3 hours and it catches up pretty much immediately now - I can't handle it. I have to work on that. Being that I've been a night owl ever since I can remember it's hard for me to drift off early or quickly (seriously, even as a young child - my parents would think I was asleep but I'd either be laying awake thinking or I'd be playing or making something in the dark in my room till quite late because I just plain couldn't fall asleep!)

But beyond that...Andrew is wonderful as always and I am enjoying each new day with him. What more is there?!

Hopefully I'll have my computer back soon, I have so many cute pictures to upload and I just prefer writing on my own machine.

Saturday, April 25, 2009

Hiatus

I may be on a bit of a blog hiatus - not because I want to be but because my computer has to go in for servicing. The little clip things that keep it closed broke so every time I go to close the screen it pops back open. It could be a few weeks before I get it back and it may not even be this computer if they can't just fix it. It's very frustrating, but it has to be done. I still have access to a computer but how often I'll actually be able to use it is another story.

I'll still do my best to keep a bit of a journal. I guess I haven't had much time for writing lately anyway. Andrew has a cold right now so he's needing extra care - although he keeps in good spirits despite it. He's such a positive little guy - I can learn so much from him :)

I'm glad it's the weekend, we're going out as a family today. Mostly to run errands but we'll be sure to enjoy the sunny spring weather while we're at it.

Back as soon as possible!

In the meantime...


Wednesday, April 22, 2009

I'm finding the wind tonight distracting

I managed to keep Andrew sleeping (well, off and on – in between feeds!) till just after 10 this morning so it wasn’t as hard getting up as it sometimes is. He had some time in his play mat while I got myself partially sorted for the day and made a coffee and had a quick bite of breakfast. He also enjoyed his Exersaucer – that thing is my saving grace! Well, that and the play mat AND the Jolly Jumper – which I must say is his current favourite thing!!

There was a moms and babies meet up this afternoon that I wanted to attend – I’d never been before and I thought it was about time I went and met some other moms and their babes. I thought I had everything timed perfectly – I would get Andrew Jolly Jumping for a while, get myself dressed and his stroller etc ready, then feed him (since he ALWAYS needs a feed after his jumpy jumps!) He usually feeds and then has a bit of a sleep after his jumping so I figured that would be ideal for going to this meet up – have him napping a bit, hunger satisfied, so he’d be calm the whole while.

Well if he didn’t decide that this time (for the first time ever) after jumping he would just wail and want absolutely nothing I had to offer. He wouldn’t eat, he didn’t want his play mat or Exersaucer. I changed him and that did nothing. He was just Mr. Grumpy and that was it! I knew he’d be absolutely starving very soon but he was too worked up to eat and time was a ticking – it was time to get our act in gear if we were going to make it for the moms group! I just thought tohellwithit and got him into his stroller and off we went. I figured he might quiet down when we got outside…but no such luck. He bawled the whole way to the rec centre. I even tried taking him out of the stroller and carrying him so he could look over my shoulder as he often likes to do but that didn’t work to calm him either.

Luckily, as soon as we went into the room where the meet up was and he saw other babies and people and the surroundings were new, he immediately stopped crying and was working instead at taking it all in! He had his furrowed brow but at least he wasn’t sobbing! LOL We met some nice people – there were 14 moms and babies there and I only really talked to 2 of the moms (as well as the health nurse) but it was good to get out and have a few conversations. The moms I talked to were really nice and seemed to be in my general age group, which was nice. They both had boys too – but out of the 14 babies there, only 5 were boys! Which was a bit surprising. The ages ranged from 6 weeks to about 8 months. It was interesting looking around and noticing all the differences when age was considered.

It was great to get out and talk to people who have something major in common with each other and feel like a part of a group. The speaker talked about exercises for keeping your back strong and not lifting improperly, and keeping the legs strong, etc. All around I’m glad we went and hopefully we’ll go to the next session too.

Andrew ended up getting super fussy JUST as the speaker was about to start her talk but luckily I was able to latch him on right away (and it was so nice not feeling like I had to cover myself while doing so, since everyone there would obviously be understanding!) and he fed pretty much the whole time after that. He had a bit of a nap after his feed but then it was time to go. I decided before leaving to weigh him since they had a baby scale there (I could have measured his length too but I’ll do that next time). He’s now nearly 17lbs, which just boggles my mind. Literally one week ago to the day, fully clothed, he was 16lbs, 3.5oz. So without clothes would probably be around 16lbs, .5oz (3 oz are generally taken off for clothing/diaper). Today he weighed in at 16lbs, 14.8oz fully clothed, so about 16lbs, 12oz naked. What?! That’s about 10-11oz gained IN ONE WEEK! LOL He’s a big boy =)

I think there’s a real potential for me to meet a friend or two from this ‘class’ if we keep going so I want to make an effort to get there when I can. It would be great to have a few friends with babies in Andrew’s age range!

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Took a while to write/post but here it is!

Things to look for at IKEA:

New lamp
Salt & pepper shakers
Tray thing
Mugs
Glasses

Today (Sunday the 19th) was James’ 30th birthday. We met (and fell in love, as it happens!) when he was 19. Where does the time go?! I can’t believe it’s been that long, though really, how is it that I haven’t known him forever?

It was the Sun Run this morning and since we live near W Georgia, we could hear the event taking place. For some reason, despite being Sunday morning, a lot of people in the run took it upon themselves to yell/scream/holler as they were running. I wasn’t annoyed by it for the most part – I know it’s a big event and it’s all for a great cause. But it would have been nice to not have been woken up by it so many times in the early morning when James had taken Andrew so I could get a bit of shut eye. But oh well, even though it wasn’t a great night’s sleep I wasn’t feeling too exhausted when I got up.

We had a GD Tass together (aka a cup of coffee) and James had a few Happy Birthday phone calls. Andrew played in his Exersaucer and play mat and had time with one of us while the other got ready for the day. Our usual routine on the weekends! I wanted to do more to dote on James but with the baby it’s hard – especially since I have to feed him and when I’m doing that obviously can’t be doing other things for someone else! BUT of course James didn’t mind in the least!

I wanted to wait to give him his prezzies till his party in the evening since my parents and I had gone together on his gifts and done up a gift bag of everything. He had a card from each of my grandma’s, and in one of them (from granny) was some moolah. I gave him my card and his card from Andrew (which was pretty cute – his first Daddy birthday card!) and also his gift from Andrew – a picture frame with a picture of Andrew in it. In Photoshop I put ‘I love’ at the top left of the picture and ‘my Dad’ at the bottom right. The idea being that Daddy could have a picture of his boy on his desk at work =)

The original plan was we were going over to James’ brother and girlfriend’s place to have a birthday visit for James with them, and also their friends (and ours) A, K and their new baby (who’s half Andrew’s age) E. It turned out they preferred to come over to our place, which made me happy because we wouldn’t have to schlep all our stuff over there, plus it made more sense to be here since we have the baby accommodations – aka change table and all of Andrew’s toys. E was too little still to be able to enjoy most of Andrew’s toys but she DID utilize the change table! And K was happy I had a boomerang pillow she could use for breastfeeding – it was funny because we just passed it back and forth since both our babies needed fed! After E was satisfied, I would feed Andrew and on it would go. LOL It was great seeing them again and as a family and meeting their little bundle. It was nice to be able to talk to other people in our age group (they’re about a year younger than me) about what we’re going through as new parents. We don’t see them often but they’re really fun to hang out and chat with.

After they left we just hung around for a bit and then I fed Andrew yet again and got us sorted to go to the hotel where we were having James’ birthday party (in my parents’ hotel room). James was going to have a short nap so I took Andrew to the hotel to help my parents get things set up. We had a great Happy 30th Birthday sign (that we got from Patty’s Party Palace in Nanaimo when I was over last! I love that store!!)

To be continued – A is awake!

It’s now the middle of the night on the 21st…but back to James’ party!

Finished setting up…Some wine and cheese had been brought up to the room compliments of hotel staff that we know – which was so nice of them!...I took some pics of Andrew with a party hat on!...Everyone arrived and we had snacks, chatted, hung around. Had drinks. I had about one and a half to two drinks over the course of the day – the most I have had since pre-pregnancy! I really let my hair down this time – LOL. It was fun and Andrew was really well-behaved. He had lots of cuddle time with everyone =) Fed quite a bit, and played on his play mat – which was such a good idea to have there at the hotel to occupy him.

We mostly just hung about and chatted, typical low-key party type behaviour! James had some Bacardi 151 as well as other drinks. He opened his presents – from me and my parents he got a gift certificate to the spa, seasons 4 and 5 of 21 JumpStreet (we now have the entire series!), 2 shirts, some chocolates, a cd repair pen, Jelly Bellies, and my mom made him an infused Vodka. Spoiled or what?!! From M & N he got some ‘toy’ type items – a tin can robot make-it-yourself kit, a rubber band gun thing (which he better not use around the house – sometimes they get him gifts that seem ‘funny’ but really irk me when it comes down to it!!!) and some Fireball shooter. Kind of weird for a new dad to be getting all this liquor for his bday but lets face it, at his age he’s not going to go hog wild with it – the more he drinks the more likely he is to just crash and need a nap! LOL

As the night progressed we were really having a great time, it was a nice family get together for sure. And it was fun having Maude there and having some play time with her! Had cake – M&N got him a yummy Tiramisu cake. It said, ‘Fun and flirty, James is 30!’ on it =D

Got home fairly late, James went to bed and that was his big day!

Yesterday (Monday the 20th) my parents and I (and Andrew!) stopped by my aunt’s in N Van. She and my uncle are moving downtown soon so it was our last visit to their townhouse that they’ve lived in for about 15 years or more. After that we went to IKEA. Andrew did really well there, although for a lot of the time my dad was packing him around and he was only happy when he was up and walking about like that with my dad – not sitting in his car seat in the buggy! I ended up not getting a whole lot from my list of ‘to look for’ because they didn’t have what I wanted. But I did get the lamp (the same paper lamp we had in the living room already – James accidentally spilled a coffee (GD Tass!!) and it went ALL over the lamp shade, and being paper of course can’t be salvaged! So I replaced what we had and was so lucky because the lamp just happened to be on sale for only $11.99. I just replaced the paper shade when we got home so I didn’t even have to put the rest of the lamp together, since the frame from the old one works just fine! I also got some new mugs (that better fit the GD Tass machine than the other ones we have) and new glasses (bigger ones, so we can get rid of some of our smaller, less practical drinking glasses). I ended up getting a few other odds and ends, such as a few little toys for Andrew, a really cheap blanket to put on the couch to protect it from cat hair and spit up and all that sort of fun stuff…Nothing major. Then we stopped by Babies R Us and I replaced the Cow Jumped Over the Moon toy I broke of Andrew’s by submerging it in water (oops) and ended up getting him a few other things – a little wrist-rattle, a little boom box thing that plays 3 tunes (just a little thing he can hold onto), and a really cool Baby Einstein toy thing for his stroller so he can be occupied when in the car seat! I set it up right as soon as we got in the car to come home and he was enthralled and smiling at it so I think I picked a good one =)

Finally got home (heavy traffic) and spent the rest of the evening with my parents till they had to leave to catch the ferry. Ordered Greek food for dinner, which was quite yummy. And that was our night!

We got cable today and we’re kind of hating it. Not used to watching 10,000 commercials and also there is really nothing on that’s worth watching! And every time we DID decide on something to watch tonight, we’d flip to the channel only to discover it was on commercials! Argh!!!!!

Andrew was asleep in his crib so off we went to bed and I had the monitor on of course for when he’d be waking in the night. I fell asleep actually quite quickly (I was exhausted since Andrew was up at 8am and I had been running all day on about 3-4 hours sleep). Well if I wasn’t woken up at about 2:30 (after an hour and a half sleep only) to the sound of the monitor beeping profusely. Scary, since it only beeps if the sensor under the crib mattress stops sensing a heartbeat. I ran to check on the baby and thank goodness he was just fine and sprawled out exactly where we’d left him. I think he was just in a really deep sleep and had fairly shallow breathing. I would imagine that’s normal at times?? But yeah, it kind of freaked me out. I went back to the bedroom and said, “James, why do you think that happened??” and even though I’d woken him up when the monitor had beeped (no, he did not seem to wake up to it on his own) and he KNEW what the beeping meant, he barely stirred and just said it meant there was no heartbeat and HE WENT BACK TO SLEEP. WHAT????!!!!!!!!!!!!! How could he do that?! Honestly. OK yes obvs the baby was fine but at the same time, shouldn’t he have been a tad bit concerned for the safety of his son? Myself, I just couldn’t stand the whole idea of it so I went back to Andrew and decided it was time for some cuddles. He was so tired that he didn’t wake up when I picked him up out of the crib, he just cuddled me back and slept on my chest till I started drifting back to sleep on the couch with him. Then I propped him up beside me on the boomerang pillow on the couch and he’s there now while I write this. He’s breathing fine, just sound asleep! I just wanted to be close to him and I’ve been waiting for him to wake up for his next feed, though surprisingly he hasn’t yet. I’m going to bring him to the bedroom and put him in his bassinet and feed him in bed when he’s ready. I wish I’d been able to sleep all this time since I am in desperate need of some zzz’s, but I don’t regret staying up with him. I just love staring at him and admiring his sweet little baby self =)

Saturday, April 18, 2009

Up late and thinking

I am very seriously contemplating privatizing my blog after reading this on Rawbean’s blog. Wow, is all I can say. And not a good wow. It just boggles my mind that someone who seemed so open and honest and passionate about life could wind up being a total fraud. I graduated with a degree in Criminology, you’d think this sort of thing would make me shrug and say, ‘Yeah, so, happens every day!’ but it doesn’t. It makes a million questions race through my mind and it makes me feel so sad – sad that people end up getting hurt by assholes such as this, and sad that there are people out there like this at all.

It’s almost 5 in the morning – Andrew has gone back to sleep after his last feed (he’s sprawled out over my lap and the boomerang pillow!) but I’m past being tired at the moment. I’m so going to regret staying up but it’s so hard to go from sleep to wake to sleep again for me. I fell into quite a deep sleep when I went to bed tonight – I am now daydreaming of what it would feel like to sleep for more than about 2 hours before being woken and having to get up again! I haven’t had a PROPER solid sleep in almost 4 months and you know what? I doubt that I ever will again. One ear is ALWAYS open, listening intently for my baby’s cry! Even when he’s ‘all growed up’ will I ever get over that?? I have my doubts!

That being said, Andrew is completely worth every bit of the tiredness I feel on a daily basis! I would force myself to never sleep again if it came down to it (although the past few months have definitely taught me that running on completely empty isn’t an actual option – a quarter of a tank is probably as low as one should go!!)

The other night when Andrew woke up at 5:30am (after only having gone back to sleep an hour beforehand) he was crying so I picked him up out of his bassinet…I was very tired given I’d only just fallen back asleep from the last feeding. But as soon as I picked him up he burrowed his head into my shoulder and relaxed and fell asleep with me cuddling him. All he wanted was mommy cuddles and he was content. This is one example of where I’m completely wiped but as soon as I’m holding him, nothing else matters. He just melts my heart! Holding him is the best thing in the world, he is that precious.

I am probably totally annoying some people by ‘going on’ about Andrew all the time on my blog but you have to understand how unbelievably important he is to me! And given that I spend 99% of my time with him, it makes sense he would be in the majority of my thoughts and therefore posts!!!!!

However, in other news – James turns 30 on Sunday and while I can tease him about it somewhat just because that’s what people do when someone older than them (even if in our case it’s only by 10 months!) turns a milestone age…I think our 30s are going to be wonderful times. I feel so blessed that we have our baby boy and our little family unit and I look forward to all the happy memories we’re going to create together over the next 10 years and beyond. I have heard SO many people who are older say their 30s were their favourite years so I find it rather exciting that we’re moving into that period of our lives! Although I am happy to have another 10 months to go before I am hit with it – LOL. I am still a twenty-something for a little longer =)

I need to get my hair cut and coloured – the same as it was done last time, just re-done. I also need to use the spa gift certificate I got on January 1st, the day after Andrew was born (from my bro and s-i-l)…It was meant to be a treatment to relax after having given birth so it’s about time I use it! It’s just hard to make appointments for things. Weekends are the only time I can do anything like this because it involves pumping a whole lot of milk and leaving Andrew behind for a few hours with his Dad! Crazy how freedom is a word that no longer factors into a woman’s vocabulary once she becomes a Mom. Well, for the first while at least!

James came to bed a little later than me tonight (a very rare occurrence). Since I’m such a light sleeper, even though he was super quiet I woke up when he got under the covers beside me. I was awake but in that groggy sort of oh-yeah-there’s-a-whole-world-of-awakeness-out-there-I-forgot-because-I-was-in-such-a-deep-sleep! state and when I heard him whisper that he loves me, I was overcome by feelings of love and rolled over and gave him a big long hug. I feel like our time for affections is unbelievably limited these days. Our intimacy is severely lacking due to tiredness, a baby to care for and pretty much no or very little alone time available to us…and did I mention tiredness?! It’s hard adjusting and also trying to create a window of time just for us where there isn’t a severe time pressure etc. So even though it might not seem like much to have a nice long hug, it felt amazing! I love James sooo much and I miss our time together, the time we used to have for each other. It’s different now but we’ll adjust and learn how to fit ‘us’ time into the mix more often! Eventually…!

I just looked over at Andrew and he’s grinning away in his sleep. He is SUCH a happy little guy, even when he’s out like a light!

Oh yeah, and a 16 pounder! I would say by today he’s probably about 16lbs and maybe 4 or so ounces…He is growing so rapidly!! He was just over the 16lb mark this past Tuesday (the 14th). What a big boy!

Time to get him back into his bassinet before he decides he’s hungry again =)

Friday, April 17, 2009

Back to the big city...

This week went by so fast. I can’t even remember all that we did. A little of this, a little of that, probably a whole lot of nothing. But it was good! Andrew enjoyed lots of island Jolly Jumping (he really seems to look forward to it!), play matting, being carried around, exersaucing, being sung to, talked to, taken out. He went for his first trips to Costco and Superstore and my parents couldn’t believe how happy he seemed to be to be there! He loves going out and seeing new things. He’s content just to take it all in.

He’s grasping toys a lot more, moving around to pick them up if they’re not within reach. He’s ‘talking’ more, grinning a ton. He seems to be looking at his toys – especially on his Exersaucer – more and is more interactive with them. I was going to leave the Exersaucer at my parents’ house because it’s rather cumbersome and takes up a lot of space in our little living room here but I had to bring it back because he just loves it so much and I think he’ll learn a lot from playing on it. So here it is, pretty much taking over our living space but that’s ok because he’s in there grinning away!

He’s sucking his thumb more and doesn’t seem interested in the soother anymore – which is good because I hate how that thing looks in his mouth! I’d rather he be a thumb sucker.

I wish I could say he’s sleeping longer at a time but hey, one step at a time, right??!

I think he wants cuddle time soon though so I’d better wrap this up…

Speaking of which, he and I got accustomed to sleeping in bed together just the two of us, where there was enough space I could do all his feedings without having to get up (which was glorious!) And he would cuddle up to me a certain way in the night, which worked since we were both close to the center of the bed. I’m happy to be back sleeping in the same bed as James, don’t get me wrong! But last night I was missing my cuddle time with the babe. And he was too – it took him longer to fall asleep in his bassinet because he wasn’t used to sleeping on his own anymore. He was so cute, he got in there and James put the soothing music on for him and you could tell he was exhausted but he didn’t want to go to sleep without his mommy! So I stroked his head and said Mommy’s right here babes, and I’ll be here when you wake up! And his eyes got heavier and heavier till he was sound asleep. I stopped stroking his head and he lifted his eyelids again so I gave him more lovings and he was out! How cute is he? Absolutely adorably so!! I love him SO much!!

Oh, my cousin either had her baby last night or will be giving birth any time now – I am just waiting for the call to let me know little baby Benjamin has arrived! Yes, we already know it’s a boy and what his name is! Oh, the wonders of modern technology! LOL I was happy to wait to find out we had an ‘Andrew’ but oh well, to each his or her own. I’m still excited to find out that little baby Ben is here!!

I’d like to write more about this past week but the reality is I might not have time. My mom is over and my dad’s on his way tonight. We’ll be busy this weekend as Sunday is James’ birthday and we might be having sort of a weekend of celebrating!

Monday, April 13, 2009

Just hanging around...

Yesterday (Easter Sunday!) James was feeling better – thank goodness. I’d slept horribly through the night and for some reason lately Andrew has wanted to get up earlier and earlier. So when James got up he looked after the boy and I went back to bed for about an hour.

Then we got ready and went off to my cousin’s house. She holds an annual Easter party and I’d never been so I figured taking Andrew this year was probably a good idea! We got him all dressed up in his navy polo shirt, blue jeans, his new shoes GG got him, and his driving cap from Gramma and Granpa (that’s the way we’re spelling it, that wasn’t a typo!) He looked SO CUTE! Well, we arrived at my cousin’s and I picked Andrew up and saw that he had pooped through his entire outfit! Before we even got to their door! I had brought him an extra outfit but I hadn’t brought anything dressy, just his ipood onesie (how fitting given what he’d just done!) and a pair of sweatpants. I hadn’t figured he’d poop BEFORE the party so I didn’t think much about what to bring as a back up. Note to self: Always bring about 4 changes of clothes just in case, because you really never know!

I changed him in the back seat of the car. He couldn’t wear his shoes or his hat because they didn’t match AT ALL with his casual outfit. It was too bad! But of course he would look adorable in a potato sack so it didn’t REALLY matter that his outfit had been ruined.

It was so cute though, at one point I had him completely naked except for his socks and shoes and he was shivering because it was really cold – the doors of the car were open and it was windy and rainy and we were right by the water. Andrew’s little lips actually quivered like I had never seen before! LOL Poor little guy. I wish my camera had been easier to access so I could have taken a picture, it was just priceless!

Once he was dressed we went in to the party. It was good to see everyone – some family that I hadn’t seen in YEARS. We didn’t mingle maybe as much as we could but hey, we were there – that has to count for something, right?! Andrew was a hit! There were 3 babies there but he was the youngest (and by far the cutest if I do say so myself!!!!!) My Nana (his great Nana!) got to hold him a lot and spent good time with him, so I was happy about that. And my aunt and uncle from my dad’s side meeting him was important to me. It was such a nice location, right on the water. My cousin is lucky to have such a sweet place, I would love to have such a beautiful ocean view. It’s a small cabin type living space but wow, so nice.

We didn’t stay too long, it was soooo hot in there I thought I was going to pass out! When Andrew started crying to be fed we decided to go. I didn’t really want to breast feed in front of so many people that I didn’t really know all that well.

So we came home and hung around till it was time for James to go to the ferry to head home since he had to work today. We were all so tired – I think I was the MOST tired but only got to sleep for about 10 minutes since Andrew needed fed. I felt so exhausted yesterday that I started feeling sick again =( I’d started feeling better on Saturday and thought I was completely better yesterday morning but by the evening I had the chest issue back and now my throat is tight and sore and I feel like I can’t talk comfortably. I don’t know what’s going on, although most likely I DO think it’s sleep deprivation. I am getting on average 4 hours these days – total per night – and I think it’s really catching up to me. But between Andrew and then me not being able to sleep because of the chest/throat issues, it’s just a vicious circle.

My dad is going to take care of Andrew for a bit while my mom and I go get some errands run today. If the boy doesn’t drink ALL 7 ounces of milk I have pumped, maybe when we get home I can take a nap. Wouldn’t that be nice!!

Sunday, April 12, 2009

Long weekends could be longer

James arrived in the morning on Good Friday. Andrew must have sensed that his Daddy was on his way – he decided he wanted to get up much earlier than usual. So no sleep for Mommy! I still wasn’t feeling well and started feeling worse throughout the day. Weird chest and throat issues, exhausted (although I always have a hint of that these days!). After coffee and breakfast and feeding Andrew, my mom and I got ready and went out to get a few things for James’ upcoming birthday – the big 3-0! During our outing, which wasn’t long because I couldn’t leave Andrew for long (not enough milk pumped) I started feeling really dizzy and kind of sick.

Once home my parents and James went out to do a grocery shop. James had decided he wanted to make Moussaka (which we had tonight and it was DELISH) so he went along for the shop. It made more sense for me to stay home and feed Andrew. They brought me back a strawberry Julius, which was so soothing. My parents used to always get them for me and my brother when we were sick as kids.

I was going to nap but I didn’t feel well enough to fall asleep, if that makes sense – when my chest hurts I find it’s worse to lay down. So I had a bath, washed my hair, got freshened up. Had some tea. I was sooooooo tired but then my grandma came over for dinner (in lieu of coming over Sunday since we have plans with my dad’s side of the family and also because James has to go home since he has to work on Monday). It was a relaxed dinner, nothing formal about it or anything but I was so freaking tired and felt as though I could barely be a part of the conversation.

Andrew showed his GG (great grandma) how much he is loving his new Jolly Jumper that she bought him. He was on it for ages and just grinned constantly (pictures to come!) He was a sweetie pie as always. GG got him some great Easter gifts, including baby sunglasses (soooo cute, pics of that to come also!) and some new outfits for 12 mos so he’ll fit into them in the coming weeks/months. Oh and some adorable Velcro shoes!

Yesterday (Saturday) we (James and I) took Andrew on his first road trip, driving to Victoria to visit his (Andrew’s) Papa and Grandma B. We also stopped in to visit the 3 P’s, who we hadn’t seen since our wedding close to 2 years ago. They were quite pleased to meet the little babe! The 3rd P (who is a poodle!) was very intrigued and it was so cute watching him inch closer to Andrew to sniff at him and try to get acquainted.

Had a nice visit with James’ dad and B. We had lunch with them at their place and a bit of a visit, then it was time for us to make the trek back to my parents’ house. James wasn’t feeling all that well so I took over driving in Duncan so he could rest in the back with Andrew (who slept pretty much the entire car trip both ways! Not the whole way but most of it and when he wasn’t sleeping he was just looking about, not too fussy). I hadn’t driven in a long while and sometimes I’m nervous about driving because of the fact that I so rarely do it. But it felt like old hat today and I actually kind of enjoyed it. I like how slow-paced it is here on the island compared to the mainland. There were hardly any cars out there so I didn’t feel stressed at all, if anything it was even a bit relaxed.

Got home, James went and laid in bed – poor guy isn’t feeling so well. I feel so bad for him, he didn’t even try the delicious Moussaka he made (although he can have leftovers tomorrow). He is even sleeping in my old bedroom tonight while Andrew and I take the spare room because he expects to be tossing and turning not feeling well. I hope he’s better in the morning.

Tomorrow we’re going to an Easter party of sorts, should be interesting…We’re mainly going to introduce Andrew to everyone, although it’s strange considering most of the people there I either haven’t even ever met before (despite that they are family) or know but not really because we’re not at all close. It’s weird how you suddenly start participating in more family functions once you have a baby! I just thought going would be a good way for everyone to meet the little guy =)

I wish James didn’t have to go home tomorrow. I feel like we barely got to spend any time together at all. I feel like I miss him already.

I’m so tired and Andrew will no doubt need fed again soon so I’d better get some sleep while I can…………….

Happy Easter!

Friday, April 10, 2009

As of late...

Tuesday – my mom and grandma came over to collect me, Andrew and all his STUFF!

Wednesday – lazed around most of the day. In the early evening my dad looked after the boy while my mom and I went out. I got Andrew a really cool new play mat thing from Babies R Us (this way we can keep that at home and leave his other play mat here so we don’t always have to cart it over when we visit). I also got him a toy for his Bumbo tray. We went to Superstore and got him a bunch of Joe Fresh clothes – I still can’t get over what a great deal there is to be found at Joe Fresh!! Oh and at Babies R Us we also got him a few more Baby Einstein videos. He seems to enjoy them – although honestly I think he likes ER better! LOL What can I say, the boy’s got good taste in TV =D

Thursday – I haven’t been feeling well and the lack of sleep has been killing me so when my mom got home from the dentist I went to bed for a few hours. Probably got about 2 hours sleep, maybe even a bit less because I kept waking up from the chest/throat issues I’m having, but it was still a much needed nap and I felt a lot better when I woke up. In terms of getting some rest, though the chest/throat thing still seems active. It’s really bothering me that I keep getting sick but it’s from the exhaustion and I don’t know what I can really do about that.

Andrew has been enjoying his island time and my parents are of course thrilled to bits to have him here. My grandma got him a Jolly Jumper (the original kind you attach to a door frame) for the island so my dad got that set up for him and he’s been loving it. He loves his new play mat too and he also has an exersaucer here that he enjoys. So he’s not bored!! He’s been a real cutie, as always. My parents couldn’t believe how much he had grown just in a few weeks and they keep marvelling at his strength. Apparently he shouldn’t be able to lift himself to sit up at all – they were shocked when they saw him trying to sit up on his own. I had to tell them he’s been doing that for a few weeks already! I don’t really know babies and what they’re meant to do when so I just think all his progress is normal! He’s just such a sweetheart, no matter what he’s doing – of course!!

So James and I have taken the plunge and decided to get cable. It’s on a trial basis – luckily there are no contracts with Shaw so we can cancel at any time. We have vowed not to just channel surf in the evenings and do nothing but watch crap just for the sake of watching SOMETHING. If we don’t stick to that plan we will cancel it! But we got a great deal – the first month is free, then for 8 months it’s only $20/mo for classic cable – which has all the channels we would want and more. Not digital because we didn’t want to have to get the box and have to have someone come install it and all that crap but wow – we will actually be able to watch shows like LOST without having to download! Mind you we are going to have to tape shows like that because we can’t necessarily watch a show when it’s actually on – since our schedule is Andrew’s and you never know when he might decide to fuss budget!!

We made this decision because we were renting videos from Videomatica (online, where they send you the dvds in the mail) and it was costing over $70 every 3 months and we only got 6 dvds a month. So it’ll be cheaper to have cable at this special rate. It makes more sense because when I’m feeding Andrew it’s nice to have something to watch and I keep running out of shows on dvd – and they’re not cheap to keep buying so…We’ll see how this goes. We haven’t had cable for about 7 or 8 years or something and we really liked not having it truthfully but maybe for a while it will be nice to have.

Anyway, time for sleepy byes, while I have the chance!

Oh and James will be here in the morning, yay!

Tuesday, April 07, 2009

Quick post about nothing!

We’re going to stay with my parents for a little over a week. I’ll still update during that time, but I didn’t want to leave my last post as the top one for any length of time. SHE IS NOT WORTH IT!! I just keep telling myself that. Can’t say it makes me feel better but I’m working on it.

I think I’m getting sick AGAIN. I just got over being sick. My immune system has never been so low my whole life. But then, I’ve also never got this little sleep! I’ve slept HORRIBLY the past few nights and I think it’s really taking its toll. Hopefully it’s just the lack of sleep making me FEEL as if I’m coming down with something but I’m really not…I honestly don’t know how I’d cope getting sick again right now.

The weather is turning beautiful, maybe spring time is finally here after all? It’s so nice being able to get out with Andrew and not have to be quite so bundled up. Now I just have to find a pair of baby sunglasses for him, and we’re set! He really doesn’t do well with the sun in his eyes!

Not much to say really. Doing well other than this lack of sleep thing. Sometimes I’m ok with it, then it just seems to creep up and kick me in the behind. I should be able to get some nap time in on the island tho – I can pump milk and my parents will gladly look after him =) Thank goodness for Gramma and Grampa!!!!!

Sunday, April 05, 2009

Hate is a strong word but I guess when the shoe fits...

I’ve been sitting here for the past few minutes, staring at the cursor blink on the blank page. I stared at it so long that my vision blurred. Thoughts racing through my mind of what I need to say but without the ability to formulate them into words.

Where do I start?

She just makes me feel so miserable. If there’s one thing she’s good at, it’s that. It’s like she wants to. She must enjoy it, or she wouldn’t do it time and time again.

I feel so hurt. And not just by her. I don’t know how it can go on like this. I feel like I’m going crazy even though I know she’s not worth a second of worry. She obviously doesn’t care one iota about me.

I just need closure so badly, but how does one get closure when the other party refuses to speak? It’s like restorative justice gone wrong.

It makes me feel terrible that a person can basically pretend they don’t know me at all because if they were basing their thoughts on who I actually am there would be no basis for their arguments.

Why does she always have to turn the blame around on everyone else? Why does she see him as a middle man and won’t talk to me directly? Why does he defend her in any way shape or form when she’s done this time and time again? How many times does it have to happen before he actually says enough is enough.

I find it extra hard to feel this way and try to deal with it when I have Andrew to consider. Even when I’ve been going through the emotional roller coaster of my hormones changing back after his birth, I’ve always been good at compartmentalizing that and trying to remain as positive as possible. Knowing that my emotional state was all because of the hormone issues (and lack of sleep!) I was able to do that. But right now I just feel like running away. I would never do that of course but I just mean that I don’t know how to deal with anything at the moment. I have no choice but to try to take care of myself for the sake of Andrew so I can take care of him (for example I have no appetite but I have to force myself to eat because otherwise he’s not going to get proper nourishment from me). But all I really want to do is burrow under the blankets and cry till I have no tears left.

She has this way of making a person feel terrible. I don’t want to let her get the better of me. She just makes me so upset because I don’t know how she can treat people she’s supposed to love so badly.

ALL I DID WAS ASK HER TO ACKNOWLEDGE THAT SHE SHOULD HAVE PUT US FIRST GIVEN THAT WE WERE HAVING A BABY. I JUST WANTED HER TO SAY SHE WAS SORRY FOR TAKING OFF AND NOT SAYING GOODBYE OR SEEING ANDREW AGAIN. Meanwhile she says I froze her out. She is actually making it sound as if I should have been considering HER and her stupid feelings WHILE GIVING BIRTH for chrissakes – I am not kidding, she is that warped. So as to believe even the birth process of my son should have somehow been about her instead. She can’t stand the limelight being off her for one second, even if having the limelight on her is in a negative way she will take whatever she can get. And if she doesn’t get it, the shit hits the fan every time. Hello, you’re not 2 years old anymore, even if you act like it! And you can only play the victim/mental illness card so many times. That’s why there’s that story about ‘crying wolf.’ Eventually you HAVE to take accountability for yourself if you want anyone to have anything to do with you.

I just don’t understand how he can still have anything to do with her with the way she’s being. And I don’t think I’m wrong in saying her relationship with Andrew will be limited at best if she doesn’t do something about all of this. How could it be anything more than that? And why would he want it to be?

I feel so sad about this and I feel like there’s no way out of it in terms of things getting better with her. She has made it clear everything is my fault and you know what? In the past I actually would apologize for things I hadn’t even done wrong or done at all just to make things easier for her. Because other people convinced me that it would make things ‘easier’. But ultimately just easier for her, right, and worse for me time and time again. But apparently everyone must cater to her because she’s sensitive. Well anyone with feelings can be sensitive! You can’t murder someone and claim sensitivity! I am so sick of the excuses, of the manipulations, OF HER GETTING AWAY WITH IT EACH AND EVERY TIME.

I can never forgive her now. I was giving birth to a baby and I am being blamed for things during that time. Wow. That hurts me so much. Having Andrew was the most amazing, incredible, important, precious experience of my entire life. NOTHING can top it. He means everything to me. He should mean more to her than she claims he does, given her actions. And shouldn’t I mean something to her too? She is so sick and twisted she hates that her sons have women in their lives. This has been evident our entire relationship, and N’s with M. She can’t just be happy that we love each other and having created our own family together. Oh no, that just isn’t dramatic enough. How sad is that? I love James and treat him so well and he’s never had a single complaint about me. Shouldn’t that be enough for her to like me?

I wish my m-i-l treated me the way my mom treats James. Boy did I ever get the short end of the stick.

New toys and babysitting

Yesterday (Friday) Andrew’s Jolly Jumper, musical mat (for under the JJ) and crib aquarium arrived from Babies R Us. All of which are a big hit with the babe! I set the aquarium up right away and he watched it and fell asleep within 5 minutes! He has since enjoyed it a few more times and it seems to keep him occupied. Definitely worth the $50 – which I thought was pricey from the picture online but as soon as I saw it in person I thought it was worth every penny. It’s so cool, I kind of wish we could have one strapped to our bed! It might help me sleep better too! LOL
We went for dinner with James’ biological dad, half sister and cousin Friday night, which was nice since we rarely ever see them (his bio dad lives in Kingston…and I’d never even met the cousin before, despite James and I being together over 10 yrs!) It was great – G met Andrew for the first time, his first grandbaby =)

It was also Andrew’s very first sit-down restaurant experience! We were nervous but we took him to White Spot, which is family friendly so we didn’t have to worry too much. He got a bit fussy but not too bad, and I had pumped milk so I fed him at the table no problem and he went right to sleep JUST before our meals arrived so it was perfect timing. He slept in his stroller nearly the whole time we were there, fussed a bit before we left but his cries were NOTHING in comparison to the 4 kids at a nearby table that were screeching their heads off! So not looking forward to the terrible twos =D

As soon as we got home James put the Jolly Jumper together and we got Andrew set up in it. He was unsure of it for all of 2 seconds and then he couldn’t get enough! The musical mat we got for under it was a hit also, and in just a matter of minutes I knew which song setting was his favourite – he bounced around way more to it than the others! LOL He is the cutest thing on two feet. I’m so glad he has his new toys – he was really in need of some new stimulation.
Today we hung around, did some grocery shopping, then my aunt and uncle came over to babysit Andrew so we could have a date. We went out to a restaurant with my brother and s-i-l and it was such a nice night out on the town. It was just a short walk from home, which was perfect because I didn’t feel the least bit antsy about being away from Andrew – I knew he was just a hop, skip and a jump away from me!! He did really well for my aunt and uncle, apparently was a tad fussy but did a big poo (tee hee – the only one he had today and I didn’t have to deal with it!!!) and then he was all smiles =) We got home and he was sprawled out asleep on the couch in his dino jammies. I missed him while we were out but it really was great to get out and not have to worry about him for a few hours.

I had a glass of wine, which was nice. I still wouldn’t want to have more than one drink in a sitting – it’s weird because it feels like a drug. I take a few sips and it goes straight to my head because I’m totally not used to having any alcohol whatsoever in my system and I think to myself, I should have another! And then I realize I’ve only had about a thimble full so far and I should coast, because if I downed the whole drink quickly I’d feel wasted. So one drink lasts the whole time out but it’s funny the affect it has when you’re not used to it anymore! One day I will feel comfortable having a bit more but truthfully at this point I just don’t see the point in having more than a glass. I don’t feel the need for it, and besides it’s probably not the best idea to put more in my breast milk if I don’t have to. Anyway, that was the second drink I’ve had in over a year now! LOL I’m quite the party animal, I know =)

Friday, April 03, 2009

A pipe dream

I hate it when people try to scam you.

I’ve been looking into apartment listings – not too seriously, we haven’t started actually looking at any – and came across an absolutely spectacular listing.

I’d be lying if I said the red flags didn’t go up a little bit. I mean, it really did seem too good to be true, price wise for all we’d be getting.

But you never know right? I am always hoping there are good people out there who are renting their places out not because they want to price gouge but because they just need their space filled! They can afford not to charge exorbitant amounts so they don’t bother. I’m sure there is NO ONE out there with that mindset, but one can always hope, right?!

So I email about the listing asking for a bit more information. I don’t want us travelling on the bus all the way to some location only to discover it’s nothing like the listing says.

Well, I get an email back that is barely readable and basically I know right away it’s a scam (I’ve seen it before). The person claims he had to suddenly pick up and move to Spain for work and just needs someone to ‘take care’ of his property so he needs 10,000 questions answered as an ‘application’ for taking the place…such as full name, birthdate, right down to whether or not you’re married, etc. And then of course you can ‘send them the money’ for the deposit! Yeah right!! So they’re basically taking your money, stealing your identity, AND the property they’re talking about either doesn’t exist or isn’t theirs to rent out.

So maddening! It really irks me that there are such horrible people out there that waste other people’s time on this stuff.

I don’t know when we’ll actually take the plunge and move. I told James about that particular listing last night (before I knew it wasn’t real) and he seemed really receptive to the idea of moving – IF we can find something decently priced and far bigger than what we have now. Which seems like an impossibility at this point. Especially with the Olympics coming up next year…I have a feeling rents are going to be higher than usual because of that. So we might want to hold off till after that. But it sucks because I have NO IDEA how we’re supposed to fit things like a play pen in here for Andrew. He’s just going to need more and more STUFF as time goes on and I don’t know where it’s supposed to go! We’re bursting at the seams in here as it is!

Thursday, April 02, 2009

All in one day!

Andrew is asleep in his bassinet. I just can’t get over what a good little boy he is! I suppose I should be sleeping as well but I can never fall asleep this early, I toss and turn for a good hour, often longer, before I drift off. So it just feels like a waste to do that when I could be having a bit of time to myself – the only time I ever get to myself these days. I could use longer sleeps for sure but the past week I’m doing pretty well with getting ‘enough.’
There were some milestones today for Andrew! For one thing he found his thumb again and has started sucking it – only now he remembers it! He sucked his thumb before but always forgot to go back to it and would madly try to suck at his fists. Now he seems much more soothed by his thumb and knows to use JUST the thumb and not the whole fist! There are different opinions on this but I am happy to have him be a thumb-sucker for the time being…I’m hoping he’ll take to it and we can be done with the soother. It’s a lot easier for him to use his thumb than us having to stick the soother in his mouth and pray it stays in. When we’re on our walks it’s forever falling out and even though there’s a little thing attaching it to his bib so it doesn’t fall far, I’m always having to stick it back in his mouth for him. Plus he’s really grabby now so he likes to grab a hold of the attachment thing, which in turn pulls the soo-soo out of his mouth and then he cries – a vicious circle!!

So finding his thumb is wonderful if you ask me! This afternoon he was sitting in his reclining chair and he fell asleep while sucking it, and a little afternoon nap is always welcome =)
Another milestone is that he has learned to pick up a toy all on his own to play with! I was cleaning the kitchen and he was on his play mat. His apple toy (which is also a ‘chew toy’ so to speak, for teething!) was on his play mat but not right beside him when I put him down on it. I looked over after I’d unloaded the dishwasher and noticed he had the toy in his hands and he was biting at it, then would take it away from his mouth and look at it and seemed to be playing with it! So he managed to get nudge himself over to it and picked it up, which if I do say so myself is quite clever!

His biggest of all milestones, though, was ROLLING OVER!!! OMG I can’t believe he is already doing that. He hasn’t mastered rolling back yet. He can roll from his back onto his tummy but then he just has tummy time till he gets frustrated and cries and I either roll him to his back or pick him up. I was making dinner and again he was on his play mat. I looked over and he was on his tummy, when before he’d been on his back. I couldn’t believe it!! Well once he got the hang of it, he thought it was the funnest thing and every time I’d put him back on his back, he would roll onto his tummy. I think he’ll be crawling in no time because when he’s on his tummy he is really moving his legs and once he figures out the arm movements, he’ll be on the go. How scary is that?! Not just that he’s only 3 months and a day old and probably shouldn’t be doing all this yet, but how insane is my life going to be once he is on the move?! We have no room at all in here but we’re going to HAVE to get some sort of play pen for the little guy because there’s no way I’ll be able to watch him every second. He is going to be such a little bruiser, I can just tell.
Wow, he did so much in one day!! I can’t believe how fast he’s growing up. I am truly cherishing every moment of his babyhood because I know it’s going to be over in a flash. He just doesn’t want to stay in the baby stage!!

So………on a somewhat unrelated topic but one that obviously does pertain to Andrew…

Breast milk.

Andrew is still being exclusively breastfed. I am hoping to breastfeed without supplementing with formula or anything else till he’s 6 months – although of course we’ll see how it goes. I would like to breastfeed longer than that but that’s kind of my ‘minimum’ timeline at this point. It’s going well, I have no qualms with it and I think it’s healthy and I love how it keeps me and my baby close. Sure I could sleep longer if I wasn’t breastfeeding and I could have more freedom – but I will sleep longer and have more freedom one day! The trade off is totally worth it to me.

That’s not really the issue though. James and I were talking about my breast milk tonight when I was tucking him into bed (after Andrew was all tucked into his! – lol – I get to tuck everyone in these days!!) Actually he went to make a move on my breasts, if truth be told, and I mentioned how sensitive my nipples are (and not in a good way!) from the breastfeeding – as in, unless you’re going to suck on them for milk FORGET IT! LOL He has tried my breast milk but not straight from the source – he tried a few drops from the bottle when I pumped. I tried one drop when I pumped before but that’s it. I figured I may as well know what it tastes like but it’s not something I’d actually want to drink. I guess because it comes directly from ME, it seems kind of weird that I would then drink it! It’s quite sweet, there was nothing wrong with the taste. It kind of tastes like the milk after eating a bowl of Honey Nut Cheerios or a sweet cereal like that! But again, it’s my milk and it just seems a bit strange that I would drink it so one drop cured my curiosity!

As for James, he was saying how before Andrew was born, he imagined wanting to drink my breast milk – perhaps straight from the source. But when it came time that he COULD, it seemed too weird to do that. He said it’s Andrew’s food source and it’s kind of weird to take it from him…Plus, it’s just plain strange – he didn’t seem to know exactly why though. I reminded him that I am his wife and the person he is spending the rest of his life with – why would it be strange to drink a bit of her milk, if not straight from the source, from the bottle? I wasn’t saying I WANTED him to do it or thought he should want to do it, but the point I was bringing up was this:

Isn’t it interesting that without even thinking you’ll go into the fridge and drink cow’s milk but the thought of drinking your wife’s milk is somehow off-putting? When did we become so…what would the word be, desensitized? I don’t think that’s the word I’m looking for but along those lines. We forget to associate things. Why is it weirder to drink my milk than a cow’s milk?! I’m not saying he’s wrong for thinking that way – I do the same – I drink milk from a cow on a fairly regular basis but I wouldn’t want to drink my breast milk, let alone someone else’s! But why am I ok with the fact that it’s from a cow?!

Well, anyone who knows me would know I am not REALLY ok with the whole dairy thing in general, but that’s a whole other story.

I just found this issue to be an interesting one. It seems we’re taught certain things from the get-go that make us not questions ourselves when sometimes maybe we should. I’m not saying that it’s right or that it’s wrong – it is what it is – but it’s interesting at the very least!


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