Friday, February 27, 2009

Our sleep patterns are wonky

If only I could have known…the little ‘nap’ Andrew was having turned into him sleeping for about 5 hours straight! If I had known he was going to do that I would have done the same! But it’s such a rare occurrence, I could never have guessed it! I ended up sleeping less than 2 hrs of that 5 hours because after my short nap I couldn’t drift back to sleep and then he was hogging so much of the bed between James and I that I had no room and couldn’t really move around to get comfortable. Yep, he pretty much has us wrapped around his little finger!! Actually he really doesn’t sleep in the bed as much anymore as he used to, he was only there because of his nap and we figured he’d wake up pretty quick so we didn’t think it would be an issue…

Oh well! I was worried he was going to be up the rest of the night once he woke up to feed, since he’d been snoozing such a long time but no – he fed quickly and fell right back to sleep! He slept his usual amount the rest of the night, though he was up a bit earlier this morning than his normal time to want to be up. He was also extremely alert today and probably only slept about 2 hours throughout the entire day!

My mom came over and she brought him the cutest little jacket and cap ever!! He looks so adorable in them. We went for coffee and he fussed a bit but then I fed him and he fell fast asleep – that was where he had his nap time for the day! It was so sweet cuddling him while we had our coffee and some yummy carrot cake and chatted. It’s such a long day for my mom to come over just for one day at a time but I do appreciate it so much, it’s so nice to just spend time together staring at Andrew and admiring all the cute little things he does =)

He had lots of cuddle time with both of us today. After coffee we came back to the apartment and spent the rest of the day here. I tried to have a nap but Andrew was having none of that, instead he fed on both sides and then wanted play time! I wish I had half his energy…I also wish I could sleep as much as he does!!!!!

My mom caught the last ferry home – sad to see her go. Then James and I watched this week’s episode of LOST, which my mom recorded for us. So many things coming together yet for every ‘answer’ there are about 10 more questions. We were fast-forwarding through commercials and without thinking I sighed and said, “This show is intense.” James laughed, then agreed. It really is! I can’t wait to find out all the answers and see everything tied together at the end. Love that show!!

Andrew is in bed, sleeping beside his Dad (I KNOW, but James really wanted him there!! It’s not a habit, I swear! LOL) As far as I know, he’s currently fast asleep. If he wakes I may hear him but may not, since I’ve got the dishwasher going and with the bedroom door closed it’s hard to hear things between rooms. I feel like I have one ear listening intently for his cries but if that fails James has to bring him to me, and he’s aware that might be the case!

I don’t know why I tend to feel guilty, like I shouldn’t make James have to wake up when it’s my ‘motherly duty’ to tend to Andrew’s needs. James certainly hasn’t put that bug in my ear – he is more than willing to wake up if need be and doesn’t complain about any of what I ask him to do. If anything he encourages me – for example, to get sleep when I can and he’ll take Andrew if I’ve pumped milk. He’s so great about everything. It’s ME, I just get this feeling like I should be doing everything and it’s ridiculous because I CAN’T do everything and nor should I have to. Maybe part of it is just my desire as Andrew’s mom to always be there because I WANT to cater to his needs. Another part is that I know James works all day and he works hard, long hours so I don’t like to ask too much of him when he’s already doing so much. But on the other hand, caring for a baby sometimes feels like 2 full time jobs somehow – tending to baby and keeping house. It’s exhausting even if it doesn’t sound like it! Best job ever, but even the best jobs people need breaks from now and then! I guess I have a hard time with that though – how can I ever take a break away from my baby?! I’m still learning these things!

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

I wish my midwife could be my doctor

Today Andrew was sitting in his little chair, looking at himself in the mirror it has and he was just grinning away. I asked him who that handsome baby boy was and he kept on smiling! Then he swung his fist at the little bunny rabbit by the mirror and when he caught sight of its face he was smiling at that too. Priceless!

He has also started hitting the music thing on his play mat on his own. He is such a clever boy, and strong!

We had our last appointment with our midwife today. James came home early so he could go with us. It was sad but I didn’t cry. I probably am going to cry about it but I haven’t yet. I did feel sad when we left though. But we had a really good visit. And she has a student working alongside her at the moment and I really took to her as well. I am telling you, midwives are good people!

Andrew is now 12lbs, 10oz. And he is measuring five and a half centimetres longer than when he was born! He’s getting so big so fast. He’s a wonderful boy, I just wish he could stay a little baby for a whole lot longer than he’s going to!

Our midwife held him and we chatted about what he’s been up to, how I’ve been doing, the usual things. I also had a pap test, which was good to get out of the way and to get some reassurance that I am healing up properly where I tore during the delivery. Everything looks good. I got to see my cervix, which was weird but interesting! They said they’d hold a mirror up if I wanted to take a look at where Andrew came out from – it was quite amazing to think that tiny little thing opened up enough for him to pass through! I still don’t understand how the anatomy works, it’s crazy stuff! I was glad to have her do the pap test since obviously she’s seen everything I’ve got and I feel totally comfortable with her! And it was nice to know that things are looking as they’re supposed to. She also checked my abdomen muscles because she said pretty much everyone tears some muscle there with all the stretching from pregnancy – but she had to check how much of a tear I had to make sure it wasn’t really bad, since it can cause problems. Well, it turns out mine didn’t tear at all! It sounds like that’s kind of rare. It seems surprising to me given it’s not like I have ever really worked on those muscles much to keep them strong! LOL But hey at least ONE thing didn’t happen to me!! Maybe my belly felt sorry for me for all the stretch marks I have so it decided to at least keep my muscles intact =P

Andrew was so good at his appointment, very alert and happy – till it was time to go, then he started to cry. But his soother soon calmed him down! We had goodbye hugs and then off we went to get a few groceries before heading home. Came home, James made us spaghetti with veggie ‘meat’balls and we watched an episode of 21 Jump Street while Andrew played on his play mat (and had cuddle time with Daddy). Then Andrew and I went for a nap – which he still hasn’t woken up from! He’s in our bed, curled up under my duvet. Laying on his side. A big no-no according to whoever decides what babies are allowed to do…But we checked in on him from time to time once I got up and now James has gone to bed so he can monitor him somewhat =P I’m sure he’ll wake soon enough for his next meal. Then he’ll be in his bassinet for the rest of the night. It was so sweet napping with him though, he had a feed and then had his soother till he was calm enough to go to sleep. Once I thought he was out, I started to move away more toward my side of the bed so I could have more room and then I kid you not – he opened his eyes and looked at me and reached his little hand out and grabbed a hold of my shirt and held on tight, then closed his eyes again. As if to say, Mommy don’t go! It was the cutest thing and of course meant there was no way I was shifting over! It took me a lot longer to fall asleep but I ended up drifting off beside him and got maybe 15-20 minutes of rest – enough at least to feel somewhat refreshed.

Now I don’t feel like sleeping and I figure he’ll probably want to be fed soon anyway so there probably isn’t much point in trying to sleep now anyway.

My mom is coming over for the day tomorrow, which I’m quite looking forward to. At least I hope she can get here – they’ve got a lot of snow coming down on the island so I hope she doesn’t get stuck at home (my parents’ house has a very steep driveway so it’s easy for them to get snowed in). I’m really looking forward to our visit so hopefully it happens. In the meantime, I think I need to go veg till the babe demands my attention again!

Media scare tactics

I read this article today and, as a new parent myself, I have a few thoughts on the matter.

First of all, I don’t know who these desperate parents are who ‘climb into the crib’ with their babies in order to get them to sleep. For that matter, I don’t know what kind of crib they’re using – ours would break if I tried to get into it I’m sure, not to mention that if I was in it there would be no room left for the baby! That one’s a bit over the top if you ask me!

But when it comes to doing what one can to help get baby to sleep, I don’t see the problem with using methods that work for the individual.

Back in the day it made sense not to have baby sleep in the bed with you – as my mom pointed out when we were talking about this the other day, it was rare that anyone had a queen size bed or bigger. Most people had double beds. So with far less room for baby to be in between the parents, I can see where there’d be concern around the possibility of rolling onto the baby and suffocating them. And sure there’s still risk of that with a bigger bed but I’d say it’s far less. If you’re careful about it I don’t see what the big deal is. At least in the early stages – as baby gets bigger and the bed starts to seem smaller, then it’s time to start thinking about alternative sleep arrangements. But if it works for the parents and the child, I don’t see the problem.

I also don’t see the problem with tummy sleeping for babies. Back in the day, we all slept on our tummies as babies and we’re still here...So how did we survive? I agree there can be risks involved with tummy sleeping but again, if you’re careful about it…Sometimes Andrew has a tummy ache or gas issues and there is no position I can put him in to get him to stop crying – until I place him on his tummy. He calms right down and usually falls asleep. I haven’t let him sleep on his tummy without being supervised – on the rare occasion I leave the room when he’s tummy sleeping I do go in and check on him frequently. But that’s mostly due to all the hype around tummy sleeping being unsafe for babies. Realistically, since he can move his head on his own, if he was having trouble breathing I am quite sure he’d shift his head to expose his nostrils or mouth.

You hear all this stuff in the news about what you’re not supposed to do (which these days seems to be practically everything) and it gets stuck in your head that you must be doing something wrong if you allow your baby to do any of those things. But whatever happened to motherly (or fatherly) instincts and being able to make your own informed decisions? Sure there are always going to be risks but I bet one day we’ll be told that sleeping on one’s back as a baby is bad for one reason or another. It’s important to listen to the info that’s out there and hear the statistics but I think it’s equally as important to make your own decisions based on what you decide to take from it. Every baby is different and is going to have needs that won’t always fit the textbook case.

That’s another reason why I’m glad we had a midwife and not a doctor up till now. We discussed some of these concerns with her early on when we found ourselves with baby in the bed with us and doing other things that weren’t ‘by the book.’ She was able to give us the info for why certain methods are recommended over others but also gave reasons why what we were doing made sense too.

New parents shouldn’t have to feel guilty for doing what they feel is best for their little ones as long as they’re being responsible about it.

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Finally - a family doctor!

Andrew napped for so long tonight that now it’s after 1am and he is wide awake. He’s content to lay on the couch and look around at the moment but I have a feeling he’s going to start fussing soon for play time. Luckily I had a nap for about an hour tonight but still, I could do with a few more hours of rest at the moment!

Today we had our first doctor’s appointment with the doctor our midwife recommended we check out. It means we actually have a family doctor now, which is amazing! I guess it’s just unfortunate that I have gotten so used to the way midwives treat their patients. Because they have way more time to spend with you, the level of care is through the roof in comparison to the level of care of the average GP. I felt that while the doctor was nice enough, she seemed very abrupt. It was such a quick visit, which was fine – it’s not like we had actual questions or anything, we were just there to get the ball rolling for having a doctor we can see consistently. I just wish doctors could be more like midwives! I am going to miss ours so much, our visits were so regular and I got so used to spending that half hour to hour with her each week. I actually think I am going to cry after our last visit this Wednesday, if I am feeling anything then like I am right now about the whole thing! It’s going to be sad to have to say goodbye. It’s kind of an important relationship – the person who helped me deliver our baby. She saw me through probably the most intimate and incredible experience of my life.

Anyway…we ARE going to go with the doctor we met with tonight. I think we’ll be able to get along with her well – I felt comfortable around her. It’s not HER fault the system is the way it is and she can’t really spend much time with us! I’m just relieved we’ll be able to go to the same person each and every time we need an appointment. Especially for Andrew’s sake, it will be one person getting to know him and not having a different random doctor checking on him each visit.

We walked home even though it was probably close to a half hour walk and it was pouring rain. We have one of those plastic overlay things for the stroller so Andrew slept the whole way home and was oblivious to the rain! But James and I got completely drenched. It just seemed easier to walk than to take a bus and have to transfer to another one with the giant stroller. I will say, though, that we did really well when we made our way to the appointment. People on the bus were actually quite accommodating and friendly and people actually helped me get the stroller off the bus! I was really pleasantly surprised. I’m sure a lot of people were thinking nasty thoughts about us in their heads – I’m the first person to admit how annoying it can be to see people struggling with giant strollers! But if they were thinking such thoughts we sure weren’t feeling the vibes. It was kind of refreshing to see people being so friendly and helpful.

Anyway, it looks like Andrew has drifted off, despite I figured he’d be wide awake. Time to attempt to transfer him into his bassinet so that I might catch a couple of zzz’s!

Monday, February 23, 2009

I can't stand people who won't take responsibility for themselves, instead always having to pass the buck...

Sunday consisted of James and I hashing out (once again) issues with his mom…He finally talked to her about them. It didn’t go well but I guess that was to be expected. She is freezing me out though, yet seems to think she could still have a normal relationship with Andrew. I don’t feel that that’s true though. How can you completely ignore me and everything I said and just pretend like everything is normal with James and Andrew? That doesn’t make any sense. I find it truly sad that she loses sight of what’s most important because of her own damn feelings all the time. Everything has to be about her or she’s not happy and if someone calls her on it – even if in the most diplomatic way possible – she shuts them out. I can’t stand people like that. So I don’t know where we go from here but something has GOT to give. I told James that I feel being ignored completely is worse than someone yelling at you. If she could just respond to what I said, I could gain some amount of closure and move on with my life but as long as she freezes me out entirely, how can I get any closure? I KNOW she’s not worth it and I shouldn’t even care at all because she doesn’t deserve it but at the same time it just makes my blood BOIL that she does what she does and gets away with it. ALL I AM ASKING FOR IS THAT SHE TAKE ACCOUNTABILITY FOR HER ACTIONS AND FESS UP THAT SHE TOOK OFF UNNECESSARILY AND SHOULD HAVE SAID GOODBYE TO HER FIRST BORN GRANDSON IF NOTHING ELSE!!!!!!!! Is that too much to ask, seriously?!

Anyway, we talked about it and then decided we had to just let it go – what more can be said at the moment?!

We got ready and after a while some friends from our old apartment came by to meet Andrew and have a little visit. They are such cool guys, I love getting together with them. I don’t feel super comfortable around a lot of people but they are two people I just feel totally myself with. I can’t explain it, they’re just really easy to get along with and fun to chat with. They thought Andrew was adorable (of course – tee hee!)

After their visit we had a bite to eat, then Andrew and I headed over to my bro and s-i-l’s for a visit. I am telling you, I was sooo anti-social till the baby arrived but now everyone wants to see him grow up so I feel like a social butterfly compared to how I was before! It was nice to get out of the house for a bit and have a change of scenery – and to see Maude, since I don’t get to see that cute bulldog nearly enough anymore! It was so cute watching her go crazy giving Andrew kisses! He just laid there not really knowing what to think but she was just loving him, awww =)

I came home, James woke up from his nap and we had some nachos and watched ER while Andrew played on his play mat. He absolutely loves that thing!! Oh and James had a lot of cuddle time with him while I printed some pictures and had a bath.

Nothing much else to report. In the middle of the night Andrew pooped all over the place when I took his diaper off for a change. I just got him all cleaned up and a fresh diaper was about to go on when he peed himself. Got him dried and just as I was about to put ANOTHER diaper on, he peed again, only this time his boy part shot up in the air with the pee and it went all over the wall. Oh, the joys of having a baby boy! LOL Oh well, what can ya do. He had a cute little look on his face so it’s not like I could get upset with him! He knows not what he does, after all!! =D So a change of diaper AND of clothes later and finally we were ready for a feed and bed time again!!

Today we’re just hanging around – I washed my hair, then gave him a bath. He’s been feeding for ages now but I think he’s mostly asleep at the breast. What a little suck! LOL We might go for a walk later, if the weather holds – though I think it might rain. We have our first appt with our potential new family dr tonight – wish us luck!! I so hope we click with her – it would be amazing to once and for all be DONE with the walk-in clinics around here!!

Sunday, February 22, 2009

I looked it up and Andrew means 'manly' and 'brave' =)

Last night James put Andrew down in his crib – which he has only spent a bit of time in here and there to check out his mobile or have a few pictures taken. He’s never slept in it before. Well he ended up sleeping soundly so we used the baby monitor when we went to bed. I didn’t feel good about it because I don’t like the idea of Andrew being in another room from us at night yet. It feels too soon. At least for me!! I was having separation anxiety =D
I couldn’t fall asleep because I kept listening for his cry or some movement or SOMETHING. Usually, with him in the bassinet right beside me, if I listen closely enough I can hear him breathe so it felt strange not having him right there. I missed his presence.

At just after 3am (3 hours after he’d been put in the crib) I heard him making some noise so I got up. He wasn’t crying, just ‘talking’ (the cooing he’s been doing for a few weeks now). He looked up at me when I went in and was moving his arms around. I played the mobile and he started kicking his legs. He was quite content! But awake, so he was quite happy to get up and have his next feed. When we went back to bed I put him in his bassinet and I slept much better with him closer by. When he has to start sleeping in his crib at least I know he’s likely to take to it fairly easily but right now I just don’t see why he needs to be that far away!
James got Andrew up around 9:30 this morning and I was hoping to have another hour or so of sleep. I drifted off but the construction down the street woke me up so I got up probably just after 10. It was so nice having James here. It’s been a while since we had a weekend just the three of us since we’ve been in Victoria or Nanaimo the past few weekends. It was nice to lounge a bit together. We got ourselves sorted and eventually made our way out – got a coffee for the walk and went to some shops downtown. I couldn’t find any shoes I liked at Pacific Centre (I hate that mall so it wasn’t surprising I didn’t find anything!) so we made our way to Granville St. We went into this store – I’ll have to find the name since I should advertise for them since they’re so good! I was very pleasantly surprised. I was just about to leave when I found a pair of shoes I liked and decided to try on. The sales guy was very experienced, friendly, most likely the owner of the store. It was the kind of experience where he made you feel welcomed into the store but not in an annoying, hovering sort of way. A far cry from the experience I had looking in the mall, where at one store in particular I was looked at as if I shouldn’t even be looking at their merchandise. Anyway, I decided to get the only pair of shoes I tried on! They’re so comfy and I like the style. And of course they're completely vegetarian (canvas!) I wouldn’t mind still looking for another pair of shoes, something a tad more casual – not that these aren’t casual but I guess I mean in a different way. James tried a few pairs of shoes on too but he has some issues with his feet and it’s generally better for him to shop around before deciding on something. He’s learned his lesson about buying shoes and then discovering they never become comfortable!

I had looked for new underwear at The Bay but it just wasn’t happening. I hate underwear shopping…And I forgot all about looking for pants because I was so discouraged from everything else (this was before I found the shoes). Ugh. I desperately need some new clothes so I can be done with the maternity stuff once and for all but it might be another couple of weeks before I can actually get out there to find stuff. I am so nervous about it for some reason, it’s kind of ridiculous.

We went along Davie on our way home, stopped in at Safeway to get a few things, then headed home. We had a bite to eat, then James went back out to have his hair cut and pick up some cat food. Andrew and I went for a bit of a nap and then when James got home he made us a yummy cheese fondue for supper. We ate while watching ER and luckily Andrew was good and let us eat together for a change! I started feeling totally wiped after that went for a nap but tossed and turned and couldn’t sleep despite being so tired. I hate it when that happens! Now James is sleeping and I am here awake, though Andrew is cuddled and sleeping on my chest so I should be able to transfer him to his bassinet soon enough…
And another day comes and goes! It was a good one. I maybe didn’t get much considering what I was looking for but I was happy with the shoes and it was just nice to get out of the house as a family and get some exercise and fresh air. Tomorrow some friends from our old apartment building are coming over to meet the babe and maybe we’ll see my bro and s-i-l. Looking forward to a bit of a lazy Sunday! We’ll see what Andrew has in store for us…I must say, today he was an absolute gem! (As if he's ever anything but - just look at that face!!) =D

Friday, February 20, 2009

TGIF

For the most part Andrew was really good today (as in very little crying!) Although right now he’s a bit fussy…good thing his dad is dealing with him for the next hour! LOL I took an hour ‘off’ to sleep but I couldn’t sleep so I decided to use the comp instead. I am meant to be sorting pictures and deleting ones that are blurry or whatever…It’s going to be so hard to go through pics of my baby and press the delete button, no matter how fuzzy some of them might be! But I take SO many pics of the little guy that if I don’t start deleting some of them, I’ll have no room left on my computer to store them!

James’ dad came over for dinner tonight. He’s in town visiting James’ brother, who has epilepsy and has been going through a really rough patch with it lately. We had a nice visit with his dad and he got to see Andrew again, which of course he was quite pleased about!

I hope I can get some rest tonight. I’m feeling zonked despite that I can’t seem to fall asleep for a nap. I think it’s because I can hear Andrew crying through the wall between the bedroom and living room and I feel like I should be trying to make him feel better so instead of falling asleep I keep listening for his cries to stop. I pumped milk so I don’t have to worry about him being hungry (not to mention I fed him from the breast right before going for my nap!) so I shouldn’t feel guilty for taking this time for myself but I do…I can’t seem to help it.

Best get to that picture sorting…

Wish me luck tomorrow since I’m going shopping. I need shoes FOR SURE, my current ones are literally falling apart! And new underwear because the maternity ones are now falling off as I walk! LOL I would love to also find a new pair of pants (no need for the up-to-my-sagging-breasts non-waistline anymore!!) but I don’t know if I’ll go so far as to get those tomorrow. Part of me is nervous about clothes shopping because for one thing while I’ve lost most of the weight from my pregnancy and am not too concerned about the tiny bit of belly I carry from having given birth – my shape is still different than it was before and I’m not sure how I’m going to feel in ‘normal people’ pants. We’ll see. Plus I really REALLY feel as though I need a bit of a new ‘look’ – not so young and childish as I maybe was before. Not that I want to look like a total MOM but a bit more mature than what I was! I don’t know what I want, truthfully. I can’t envision it at this point, which makes it difficult to know what I should be looking for or where. I am having a crisis when it comes to my own personal style! All I think about now is all the cute little outfits I can dress Andrew in, I haven’t thought much about myself! And realistically, whatever I wear will get spit up on and all the rest…I need things that can conceal that to some degree, stuff that won’t show stains! And COMFORT is key because let’s face it, I am going to be sitting on the couch a lot and moving around carrying the baby – I can’t be wearing anything fancy or that doesn’t make sense for a woman with a little one attached to her…I was going to say hip, but the truth of the matter is BREAST! LOL

It should be interesting…plus factoring in I’m shopping on a SATURDAY – I must be completely insane. I hate shopping on the weekend but I have no choice now since it’s far easier when I have another person with me to help with the babe…Hopefully it will go more smoothly than I’m thinking. These things usually do!

Andy and Me

Right now Andrew is sleeping all cuddled up on my chest. He is SO precious! His little mouth is gaping open as he sleeps – he’s right out! I could try putting him down in his bassinet so I can get a thing or two done around here but for the moment I am content to keep him where he is. It’s such a wonderful feeling being close to him like this.

I find it interesting the contrast between the way a mom is with her baby and the way a dad is. At least in our situation, of course I know each parent is different in their approach! James is really great with the baby, I don’t have any qualms with his methods so far. He is great at making Andrew smile and he is so calm with him even when he’s bawling his eyes out and nothing seems to work to make him stop. He’s a patient dad that’s for sure! And I love seeing the way James looks at our son with adoration and keeps saying how CUTE he is and how he still can’t believe this little guy came out of me!

But I do notice how I am much more happy to have constant cuddles with the boy than what his dad is. I mentioned this to James and he just kind of shrugged and said he likes to hold him but if we’re watching a show or something else is going on that he’s paying attention to, he’s not paying any attention to the baby anyway so why bother holding him during those times?! There have been numerous occasions where I’m holding Andrew as I am now to my chest and he falls sound asleep and James will say, “Want me to put him down?” He means well, because of course sometimes I’m going to need to get up and stretch my legs, move around, get things done. But for the most part I immediately cuddle the baby even closer to me and say, “No way! He’s comfortable where he is!” I would much rather be cradling him in my arms than have him off in his bassinet or something. He’s too precious for words, and the way I see it is – James and I love to cuddle each other and I expect that we’ll cuddle each other for the rest of our lives! But Andrew, one day, is never ever going to cuddle with me again. So I am going to enjoy every bit of our cuddle time while we have it! And he seems most content to be in my arms or close to me so why not give him that?!

I was talking to my mom about it yesterday (she came over for the day to see us) and she said it’s a mother thing to want to be close to the baby all the time like that. Again, I know there are mothers out there who are NOT that way, but in general. And it’s a guy thing to be slightly more distant. I wonder if it has something to do with the fact that I carried him inside me all that time and ‘grew’ him so to speak and therefore have a stronger attachment to him. I don’t know…or maybe it’s just my personality type to want to latch on to this little person I love so much! I can’t help myself! I just love him to bits. I just find it interesting as an observation to see the way I look at him and the way James does. We both love him in our own ways, but I would say I am definitely more attached. There is absolutely NO WAY I could go off to work all day and be away from him, that’s for sure. It’s going to be so hard if/when it comes down to me having no choice but to go back to work – unless it’s when he’s in school and I can be with him when school hours are over. I just can’t stand the idea of missing out on any of the new things he does! And at this stage of the game, it seems like he’s growing and changing a little bit more each and every day.

I love the way he smiles! We’ll wake up in the morning when the sun is shining through the blinds and he’ll look up at me and give me a huge grin. And he’s taken to knowing that when mommy whips out her breast it means it’s snack time and he’ll give a little face like woo hoo it’s time to eat!! And sometimes he’ll smile before he latches on! LOL It’s the cutest thing to watch him smile. He has the sweetest chubby little hands and cutest toes (I was going to say ‘little’ toes but they’re actually quite long!) and these rolls on his thighs that look uncomfortable but are oh so sweet, and a perfect belly button and the most adorable back and bum I have ever seen – even for all the explosive poos I’ve been cleaning off the change table lately! He can do no wrong, that boy!

I love the way I feel as a mother, this sense of loyalty to my son and such a strong sense of pride. A whole new sense of purpose. At the moment my life really does revolve around him, and I wouldn’t want it any other way!

***

So yesterday my mom came over. We met up at our usual spot at the hotel (she wasn’t staying the night but we wanted to go for coffee and it’s a comfortable spot there for baby). We were there for a good long while and Andrew slept pretty well the entire time we were out!

Mostly we hung around the apartment and my mom held Andrew while I got a bit of ironing done (something I find impossible to do when it’s just me and him at home – although it’s alright because I rarely iron anyway!) We chatted about this and that and before we knew it, it was time for my mom to leave to catch the last ferry home =( It was such a short visit, definitely not long enough, but at least it was something. And it helped break up the week a bit for me as it meant it wasn’t just me and the boy on our own the whole week long. Now it’s Friday (TGIF!) and James will be off for a few days, thank goodness. I am so looking forward to the weekend.

So far today Andy (Trista, I love your vision of a little boy in overalls and a red lunch box, so cute!! LOL We don’t call him Andy a lot but I do like it as his nickname from time to time!) and I got up late (after snoozing off and on as per our usual – though I will say he slept for just OVER 3 hours before his first wake up of the night, which is very unusual but nice!!) I managed to quickly wash my hair and then got him up and sorted and gave him a bath (which is probably why he later did an explosive poo with no diaper on – it always seems to be after a bath that he does that!)

After his tub I got him fed and dressed. I tried putting him on the chaise while I dried my hair but his soother (the only thing that would keep him from crying) kept falling out of his mouth. It was taking FOREVER for me to dry my hair because I kept having to go put the soo-soo back in his mouth! Finally I put him in his little chair and put it by the bathroom door and his soo-soo stayed in his mouth better sitting up, plus he was closer and could watch me. Soon enough my hair was dry and he was asleep, so I even got to use my straightener – oh, what a concept! LOL

I got the stroller ready as I wanted to take him out for a walk in the nice sunshine we’re having today. I fed him again, then got him into the stroller. He was miserable as soon as I put him in there. He stopped wailing once we were outside and only had one fit during our outing! He was pretty good but only fell asleep shortly before we got home. I left him in the stroller a while once we got in as he was sound asleep but soon enough he was awake again. I got him changed (this was when the poo happened!) and we had some play time on his play mat. I am finding he gets a bit bored in the afternoon if he doesn’t get his play time! So he had that and was on there probably 20 minutes or so before that was starting to make him cry. Oh and he got the hiccups, which now really annoys him. It occupies him on the one hand, so he doesn’t fuss too much, but if they go on for a while he starts getting this pouty face and I tell him that I know just how he feels because every time I get the hiccups (which thankfully isn’t often!) I feel like pouting too!! Finally he latched onto me and fed and the hiccups went away and he fell sound asleep and now here we are!

He’s getting frustrated because I have a fan on and the blinds are moving from the air circulation and the sun is shining through into his eyes. It’s getting on my nerves too, truthfully, so I think I’ll go deal with that and see what he has in store for us now!

I’m so glad it’s the weekend now, we have a few things planned and I can’t wait to get out and about and do some things with baby AND hubby for a change!

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

I can't believe Andrew is 7 weeks old today!

I’m loving the new John Mayer and Jack Johnson cd’s I got for my birthday. Easy listening and while some songs are somewhat depressing in nature, the messages are worth contemplating. I’d say they are definitely 2 of my favourite artists.

Yesterday was a verrrrry fussy day for Andrew. Lets just say about 5-6 hours of crying nearly non-stop. He’d stop for a minute or two here and there and then start up again. It was pretty intense. I tried absolutely everything I could think of to calm him down. We fed, we rocked, we swayed, we listened to music, I sang to him, gave him a bath, put him in his crib with the mobile on, changed his diaper, blow dried him (which he usually loves), massaged him, put him on his play mat, gave him tummy time, made funny faces, walked him around the apartment to look at different things. I probably tried 10,000 other things as well. Nothing worked. Finally I got him into his bassinet and put the music on as loud as it would go and rocked him, gave him his soother, and he calmed down. He fell asleep and I thought FINALLY – except it only lasted about 15 minutes. The only real grace period I had during the day was about 20 minutes in the afternoon when I took him out for a walk in his sling and he slept the entire time we were out.

It was an exhausting day for sure, but I made sure I stayed really calm. I think he’d sense if I was getting irate and I wouldn’t want to make the situation worse! But I’d be lying if I said there was never a point where I was feeling helpless, and like I was somehow failing him. What was I doing wrong to not be able to please him? Though I know deep down sometimes babies just CRY because it’s what they do and there might not be a reason for it. Or it could be growing pains or any number of things – gas, tummy issues, etc. Who knows. It was a high pitched wail but I didn’t get the feeling it was serious enough to warrant a doctor’s visit or anything. I think he was just having an off day. It sure made for a LONG day in this household, let me tell you!

Luckily James had got the hint from the night before getting home so late that I reeeeally needed him home earlier and he was in the door at 6:00. Andrew and I were sound asleep when he came in! Finally at 4pm I put Andy in the bed with me and he fussed and flailed for a while but I’d say I slept for about an hour once he drifted off. And he slept longer than that, as James and I managed to heat supper and eat it before he woke up again. He was a tad on the fussy side last night but was tuckered out somewhat so he wasn’t too bad. James took him for a good while so I could print some pictures and get a few things done that I’d hoped to do during the day but of course couldn’t get to. I had pumped enough milk to be able to putter about a little bit! I was so tired though, I didn’t really feel like doing much of anything by that point.

I slept horribly last night, even though Andrew actually slept fairly well! So frustrating. I would say he was waking up everything 3 hours, so that was far better than his usual of one and a half to 2 hours. And is more in line with the ‘norm’ from what I’ve been told, so hopefully he will start a pattern of every 3 hours! It would be amazing if I could get that much sleep in a row, or thereabouts. It’s truly unfortunate that I am a person who takes a while to get to sleep, even when I’m really tired. It’s extremely rare for me to take less than half an hour to drift off, and usually it’s closer to an hour. Well if he’s up every hour and a half that doesn’t leave me with much resting time! I wonder why some people can fall asleep at the drop of a hat and others, like me, struggle. But oh well, at least with being at home and not having obligations in the morning (generally speaking) we can stay in bed as late as we need to (if Andrew allows it of course!) Like today – because I’d had so little sleep through the night we ended up not getting out of bed till just before noon! Of course that was on and off sleep we were getting since A would fuss here and there I’d have to feed him or talk silly to him or give him his soother to get him back to a state for sleep. But still, it helped me get enough rest that I won’t be a zombie all day.

I love my little guy so much! Even for all his fussing – which is a rare deal, thankfully – he is just the sweetest little bundle of joy ever to enter the universe. My universe, anyway. I love many people in my life and of course I don’t mean to downplay how much other people in my life mean to me…But I feel as though I didn’t even truly know love until I met Andrew. He has changed my life so much and is such a light in it. I just have to look at his cute little body and my whole heart melts and no matter what might be bothering me, it’s like suddenly nothing in the world matters. He’s so precious and I am so grateful that he’s my little babe!

Monday, February 16, 2009

Here’s a little weekend recap while the boy is napping on my chest (so warm and cuddly!)

On Friday night James looked up the best route for us to get to the Tsawwassen ferry terminal on Saturday morning to head over to Victoria for the weekend. It generally takes 3 buses to get there and we know the route…but the problem is that even though one of the usual buses says it takes wheelchairs (and thus strollers), you’d have to carry it up about 4-5 steps in order to get it onto the bus. Our stroller is considered a ‘travel system’ so you can imagine the size and weight of the thing, and then put Andrew into it and the diaper bag etc and how in gawd’s name are we supposed to lift it up all those steps?! (And how in hell would someone in a wheelchair hoist themselves up, I’d like to know!?!!) Anyway, the only other route that would work would make the trip to the ferry take almost 3 hours. And that’s not including the ferry ride after that (an hour and 35 minutes) and the drive to his dad’s house once we arrived (about 35 minutes). I wasn’t in the least bit pleased about the idea of having to breastfeed during the 20 minute wait to transfer to the second bus to get to the ferries…And I was very concerned about Andrew realizing his hunger on route and freaking out on the bus and us not being able to do anything to stop the wailing…

James agreed that it was a ridiculous amount of time to spend travelling just to get to the terminal, so we both decided a taxi was the way to go. We figured it would be about $50 including tip – which is expensive but worth it for all the hassle we’d save ourselves of. Well, with tip it ended up coming to $80!! It was very expensive…and we ended up doing the same thing back so including what we paid for the ferry, our one night stay at his dad’s house cost us $212!! We could have stayed at a decent hotel for a night at that price =P We definitely won’t make a habit of taking lavish cab rides like that, but we weighed our options and went with the best one at the time. We rarely go to Victoria simply because we hate the travel time over and back so if it’s something we do rarely, it’s not so bad. Hopefully next time we’ll be more used to travelling longer distances on the bus with Andrew and it won’t seem like such a headache to do that instead of taking a cab…

He was a little angel during our travels! On the way there he fed a bit on the ferry and looked around a bit and slept – he only cried for maybe a few minutes here and there but nothing anyone would get annoyed by sitting around us. He started crying when James brought me a coffee and I went to have a sip and the woman sitting next to me said, “He knows you have something you want and he doesn’t like that – get used to it!” LOL It’s true it seems though – if I run a bath for myself, he seems to know I’m doing it and gets restless and upset…whenever I go to make a phone call he starts acting up, etc…How do babies know when their mothers are taking the attention off them, even if only for a second?! He has also taken to getting into crying fits if I leave the room, even if someone else is with him. James sometimes says, “He just doesn’t seem to like my lap as much as yours” but I think it’s just that he’s used to me being around him all the time and he’s decided I’m not supposed to go anyplace without him! Most of the time I’m quite happy to be so attached so it’s not a problem but I guess we should be trying to get him used to not having me around EVERY second!

Anyway, we had a nice visit with R&B in Victoria. And Andrew met so many people and was a hit with absolutely everyone! Some friends of R&B’s that we’ve had dinners with on numerous occasions came over and were quite smitten with him. B’s son and family were taken with him, her neighbour, and James’ half sister and her boyfriend came for dinner on Valentine’s and enjoyed holding him. He was so good-natured the whole time too – cried a little here and there but not much, and didn’t even wake up R&B in the night when he was awake! Which is saying something, given we were sleeping in a loft!

Oh and because it was Valentine’s Day I’d got Andrew a 1st V-day card. James accidentally signed his name as ‘James’ in it and not ‘Daddy’ since he’s not used to it yet – oops! LOL My mom had also got Andrew a cute 1st V-day card and also a super cute little Peter Rabbit bank and $20 so I put the money in the bank – his first savings!!

In Victoria it was basically a whole lot of visiting. It was nice seeing everyone and just watching them all adore the baby =)

We came home last night - Andrew fed for a good 20 minutes at the beginning of the trip home and then zonked out for the rest of it! - and I got a few things done around here while James had Andrew, since it’s so much easier than trying to get things done here and there when I’m alone. Which reminds me, I think I left a pile of stuff on the bed that isn’t finished being dealt with…I had Andrew in there and he was content to watch me putting clothes away but only for a little while, then he got bored and hungry!

I think Andrew has us/ME wrapped around his little finger…He just loves cuddles and closeness so much and truthfully, so do I, so I give in every time he wants that. Which sounds fine and dandy till you consider that he doesn’t ever want to sleep alone. Eventually he’s going to have to sleep in his crib in the other room and then what will we be dealing with?! He’ll go in his bassinet, just not for any real length of time. His best sleeps are when he’s cuddled to my chest like he is right now. Or in between us in bed. Which is something I encourage but only once it’s the middle of the night and I’m way too tired to get up with him again so I can just put him in the bed and latch him on and let him feed while I drift off…But I know we can only do that for so long! And having him in the bed with us – sometimes when we’re all going to bed, not just in the middle of the night – means often that James and I don’t even so much as get a proper kiss goodnight from each other. Which isn’t good either – we need to be able to rekindle our romance so to speak! It’s normal to not have much time for it but it’d be nice if we could have a little cuddle once in a while!

Things are good though and we’re getting sorted into a bit of a routine. I don’t think I could describe that routine to anyone but it does feel like one to me! I have a fairly good idea of what to expect from Andrew and him from me, although there’s a certain element of unpredictability involved. This morning he slept after I got up even though I thought he’d be fussy and I managed to get some things tended to before he started crying. Then I gave him his bath and some robe lounging time till he was hungry. He fed, I got us ready and we went out for a walk to the hotel because my mom had left something behind by accident. I put Andrew in his sling for our outing and once I gave him his soother he went straight to sleep and was so cuddly for our walk, he didn’t make a peep! We stopped by the rec centre to find out what sort of mom and baby activities there are and while I didn’t see anything I wanted to sign up for right away, it’s good to know there are some options for things to do with him. Once he’s a few months older I definitely want to enrol us in some sort of a class together!

Anyway, here we are…I think I’ll try to put him down for a bit and see if he’ll continue to sleep. It’s doubtful but worth a try – I need to stretch my legs and think about making some supper!

Cuteness factor: This afternoon, I held Andrew up but at floor level and Fifi came up and was sniffing at him and all curious…Then Moorka came up and butted Fifi out of the way, trying to get rubs from me and Andrew smiled and started cooing at Moorka and looked quite intrigued by her! How adorable is that?!!!

Friday, February 13, 2009

Happy baby

I'm just waiting for James to get home from work. As of a few minutes ago he SAID he’d be leaving soon…I hope he actually does. It’s almost 6pm so it means he’ll be home earlier than his usual. Thank goodness because we have a lot to do tonight because we’re going to be away for the weekend.

Today was OK but I felt a bit frazzled. I enjoyed my time with Andrew but he was very alert most of the day and didn’t want to be put down or to leave my sight longer than about 2 seconds. So I wasn’t able to get much of anything done. The thank you cards were still looming over my head so I FINALLY got those out of the way at least, but it took a really long time.

I was drying some clothes (including ones I wanted Andrew to wear tomorrow) and then a zipper broke off something he’s never worn yet in the dryer and snapped off into one of the grooves in the machine so now I can’t use it till it’s fixed. Hopefully James can do something with it – I tried but couldn’t get the zipper unstuck and haven’t had the time to keep trying. So maddening! Especially since the vest was so cute and now it’s basically ruined without ever having been worn.

I didn’t even manage the time to get dressed today and I desperately need to wash my hair before our trip tomorrow. Ugh. I think I am feeling frazzled about our trip as well – as much as I want to visit people it’s all the bus transfers with baby and the fact that it’s a 4 hour trip and what happens if he wants to feed on the bus??! I don’t think I feel comfortable with that. I can try to pump some milk for that I guess, but even that seems like an awkward (and maybe even unsafe?) thing to do on a moving bus (feeding a baby). We’ll see…I just hope he doesn’t bawl his eyes out so everyone gets annoyed with us even though there’s not a whole lot we can do if it happens.
I’m happy, just a bit concerned about things. Andrew was a sweetie today though. Right now he’s sleeping contently on my chest! He’s the most precious baby ever. He did lots of grins for me today and told a lot of stories (he does this sort of cooing thing and then smiles!) I love his expressions. I get tears in my eyes when he grins because he looks so genuinely happy and that just melts my heart!

Middle of the night banter

Yesterday my mom, Andrew and I hung out at the hotel for most of the late morning/early afternoon. I decided to try a ‘tea latte’ at Starbucks as they had a huge sign advertising them and it sounded good to me…but I don’t think it had ANY caffeine in it and I really could have used a jolt yesterday! I felt like I was going to fall asleep right there in the hotel lobby, I was so zonked.

I miss the Tassimo machine!!!

We made our way to the apartment and I finished drying some clothes I’d washed earlier (gawd, there is a lot of laundry with a baby!) and soon enough it was time to go to our second to last midwife appointment.

It was nice for my mom to see our midwife one last time, since my mom was there for the birth and thinks a lot of her. We found out that Andrew is already a whopping 11lbs, 11oz! What a big boy! He has so far gained twice the average amount for his age in this length of time!! I’m not surprised, given how much he likes to eat. At one point the midwife was holding him and he was even trying to latch onto her! LOL There’s no question he loves his momma but apparently he’ll take whatever he can get (or can’t, as it happens!!) What a little suck!! (Literally – lol!)

The appt went well, we just chatted and I answered some questions about my own health, which appears to be really good. She was surprised my cycle has already started again – not alarmed or anything but surprised as I guess it is on the earlier side of when it generally happens. I am a fertile woman apparently!! Given I got pregnant literally the first try and now my cycle is all back…I am definitely going to be VERY careful not to pull a Britney Spears and get preggers again right away!!! I don’t know if I want another child ever, let alone right now. Maybe in a few years I’ll change my mind and want to go for a second but right now one is plenty! I enjoy him being my one major focus. And I could do without another labour contraction for the rest of my life to be honest!! My midwife was trying to reassure me that my second labour should be much quicker than the first, and given my first was under 8 hours that’s pretty darn good! But still…I am not quite ready to be thinking about that when I’ve just had my first!!

After the appt I went to Baguette Time while my mom waited in the car with Andrew. We enjoyed our Brie sandwiches when we got back to the apt =) After which my mom decided to go back to the hotel as I was a zombie and needed rest. I wanted to be spending more time with her but I was so wiped. I got into bed just before James got home and when he arrived he took Andrew for me. Unfortunately he was fussy and crying a LOT so I couldn’t sleep all that well (and he’d literally sucked me dry so I couldn’t pump even one ounce of milk for James to feed him, it was ridiculous!) but I did manage maybe 45 minutes of sleep, which helped a lot.

We watched a show and then went back to bed. Andrew did his usual through the night, up about every 2 or so hours. I’m sort of used to our schedule, although it can be pretty tiring getting up so many times.

This morning once we were finally sorted we went over to the hotel and met up with my mom for coffee again. I had an actual coffee concoction this time! Andrew was quite cute and seemed happy to look around the lobby as we sat there. I did have to feed him twice but I was discreet about it! I had to change him in the restroom at one point because he did a huge poo that couldn’t wait till we got home. It was good practice having to change him in public!

We went and visited the woman who did our flowers for the wedding, who we’ve kept in touch with since that time. She was quite thrilled to meet Andrew! Then we came back to the apt, had a bite to eat and I made a few phone calls. One to book Andrew’s first immunizations and another to see about getting us a family doctor. I think I may have found one after all the worry of thinking we’d never be able to, since it’s so hard to find a family doctor in this city who’s taking on new patients. But the midwife recommended this woman yesterday and I called her office and it turns out she IS taking on new patients. So we’re going to go as a family in a week and a bit to meet her and see if we feel good about her. I hope it works out! She’s a little ways away but not toooo far and I figure if our midwife is putting her name out there, she must be good. I trust my midwife and think very highly of her so I would value her opinions on such matters!

Anyway, it felt good to be getting some things organized once and for all. Little things that I never used to be phased by, that I would just DO, leave me feeling very frazzled these days. A list of 3 things to do feels like it’s 10 miles long. It’s hard to explain! But it just feels like a lot to have things adding up that need to get done. Especially things that involve making phone calls, since Andrew could start fussing at any time and it’s kind of hard to be in the middle of a call when a baby is crying in the background!

After that I pumped 2 ounces of milk so we could go to Safeway. My mom stayed in the car with Andrew (and he drank the milk 5 minutes after we got there apparently!) while I did a big shop. To take advantage of having the car, I stocked up on some items that are heavy, such as juices, pasta sauces, other canned goods. It was a big order but definitely good to get stocked and know we won’t have to do much shopping for a good while.

We came home and while my mom came upstairs with Andrew, I brought the groceries up…and because I was stubborn and decided I could bring it all at once even though like I said it was a huge order and HEAVY, I packed it all up and ended up hurting my back =( SOOOO stupid!! But what’s done is done…hopefully it will just take a short while for it to heal, it’s not fun having a sore back with a baby to pack around and sit on the couch with constantly to feed!

My bro and s-i-l came over for a bit of a visit and then they left and my mom had to leave to go back to the island. If not for the fact that I have Andrew to focus on and he needs me to be calm etc, I would have bawled when my mom left. I miss her so much already. Her company means so much to me and I know how much spending time with Andrew and watching him grow and do new things means to her. I wish SO MUCH that she and my dad lived closer so they could see Andrew easily and without having to spend a ton of money between the ferry trips and hotel stays.

James finally came home – he’s been getting home later and later lately and generally only comes home when I call and he hears in my voice how annoyed I am that he isn’t home already. His boss puts so much pressure on him to get ridiculous amounts of work done in a very short period of time, which ends up meaning he works overtime to try to accomplish the tasks on the days the boss wants them. It was one thing that he did that all the time when it was just the two of us, and if you’ve read my blog for any length of time I’m sure you sense that it wasn’t exactly ‘cool’ with me then that he did that! But now that Andrew is here I need him home at a decent time more than ever. The main reason is that I want him to get to spend quality time with his son, to see his expressions and little personality as it builds into a big one! And I want Andrew to know who his dad is and not just have him here for a couple of hours here and there through the week.

But I also need James here for me, for my own sanity. I need to be able to do simple things like bathe, or just have a few moments where I’m not glued to the couch holding the baby. I need to be able to move around a bit with my hands free so I can get a thing or two done and not feel like I’m going mentally insane since by the time James is getting home in the evenings I am generally pretty exhausted from lack of sleep etc. I think James sort of understands what I go through in a day but not really. He can’t appreciate what it’s like to have been up most of the night and then to be able to function to look after baby AND get a few things done throughout the day around the apartment or whatever else needs to be done. It really is very hard work being a stay at home mom to a newborn baby! It’s wonderful and rewarding but tiring too. I feel really frustrated the later he gets home because I could really use his help, even if it’s just to fetch me a glass of water when I’m stuck on the couch feeding but suddenly feel thirsty and realize my glass is empty! Little things that can add up to so much over time…

Anyway, he is aware of how I feel so hopefully he can figure out a schedule that works so he’s not getting home super late all the time. Once in a while is fine but it never seems to be just once in a while…

We each finally managed to have a bite to eat over the course of the evening, and while I fed Andrew we watched LOST, which my brother had kindly taped for us! Another interesting episode with ten thousand cliffhangers!

Now it’s nearly 4am and Andrew is asleep in my arms after his last feed so I’m going to get him back into his bassinet and see if I can get another hour or so before we’re up again…

My First Baby - a questionnaire

1. WAS YOUR FIRST PREGNANCY PLANNED? Yes

2. WERE YOU MARRIED AT THE TIME? Yes

3. WHAT WAS YOUR REACTION? Total excitement!

4. HOW OLD WERE YOU? 28

5. HOW DID YOU FIND OUT YOU WERE PREGNANT? Clearblue pregnancy test – I took a second test to be certain but I was pretty sure I was pregnant beforehand!

6. WHO DID YOU TELL FIRST? James!!

7. DID YOU WANT TO FIND OUT THE SEX? No

8. When was the Due Date? Dec 23rd, 2008

10. DID YOU HAVE MORNING SICKNESS? Did I ever! For over 2 months straight I threw up pretty much every day, on average 5 times a day. It was HORRENDOUS. If not for Diclectin I honestly don’t know how I would have survived through the whole pregnancy!

11. WHAT DID YOU CRAVE? Sweets – lemon meringue pie, Nanaimo Bar, and Twix bars!

12. WHO/WHAT IRRITATED YOU? Getting ‘advice’ from certain people about how pregnancy/labour goes – sometimes you just DON’T want people’s opinions over and over again!

13. WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST CHILD'S SEX? Male

14. DID YOU WISH YOU HAD THE OPPOSITE SEX OF WHAT YOU WERE GETTING? No, I just wanted a healthy baby, and I got him!! He’s so perfect, I wouldn’t trade him for any other baby!

15. HOW MANY POUNDS DID YOU GAIN THROUGHOUT THE PREGNANCY? 35-40 (see answer 11 – lol).

16. DID YOU HAVE A BABY SHOWER? Yes.

17. WAS IT A SURPRISE OR DID YOU KNOW? The shower? We knew. I don’t like such things to be surprises!

18. DID YOU HAVE ANY COMPLICATIONS DURING YOUR PREGNANCY? No, I was very fortunate to have a very healthy pregnancy.

19. WHERE DID YOU GIVE BIRTH? St. Paul’s Hospital in Vancouver.

20. HOW MANY HOURS WERE YOU IN LABOR? My midwife just told me the other day it was 7 hours and 40 minutes. It felt like forever at the time but I know it was considered very short for a first pregnancy!

21. WHO DROVE YOU TO THE HOSPITAL? My dad. James and my mom were with us.

22. WHO WATCHED YOU GIVE BIRTH? James, my mom, my midwife, and a nurse.

23. WAS IT NATURAL OR C-SECTION? Natural.

24. DID YOU TAKE MEDICINE TO EASE THE PAIN? No. I used Nitrous Oxide and had a half dose of Fentanyl – both which are meant to calm you down – but nothing that actually did anything for the pain (which omg was severe!!)

27. HOW MUCH DID YOUR CHILD WEIGH? 8lbs, 9oz.

28. WHEN WAS YOUR CHILD ACTUALLY BORN? 3:50pm on Dec 31st, 2008. 8 days late but well worth the wait!

30. WHAT DID YOU NAME HIM/HER? Andrew James.

31. HOW OLD IS YOUR FIRST BORN TODAY? As of Feb 13, 2009, Andrew is 6 weeks and 2 days old.

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Love of my life

Today Andrew is 6 weeks old. Where does the time go? It feels like just yesterday that I took the pregnancy test and woke James up at 5 in the morning to share the good news! It feels like I just told my parents they were going to be grandparents! It feels like I was just rubbing my belly feeling the kicks and squirms of the little one I had yet to meet but couldn’t wait to.

And now here he is, in all his glory, 6 weeks old and growing and changing every single day. A little person that I am getting to know – who is getting to know himself, and me, and his dad, and everyone else who loves him.

I love his little personality and chubby cheeks and his baby hands and feet. I love his cuddles and his smiles, the way he stares and registers funny things now and gives big grins. I love his hair and the way his back slopes down to his cute little baby bum! All these little baby parts that were once inside me, smacking into my ribs and flailing in anticipation of entering the world. Knowing him now, it feels as if I knew him then.

I love watching him grow and seeing how inquisitive he is and thinking how clever he is and is going to be. I have no idea who this little boy is going to become as he gets older, but more than anything I am looking forward to finding out! Getting there is going to be the most rewarding and fun and interesting process I will ever be a part of.

I have my baby sleeping soundly in my arms as I write this. He is such a cuddle bug. He is fed and content to just snooze in his momma’s arms. Who could ask for more? I feel as though I have everything that’s important in the world right here with me.

Before his last feed he was getting fussy (of course – waiting for his meal!) and I have a little ostrich puppet so I started kicking the legs of it and said, “Hi Andrew, I am an ostrich and I want to be your friend!” He stopped fussing and stared at the ostrich for a few seconds, then he looked up at me and grinned! Moments like that seem so simple, yet so special and sweet, if not a tad hilarious!! He is just the SWEETEST THING EVER and his smiles melt my heart.

***

And now a little recap of what’s been happening…

Yesterday Andrew and I got up just after 10am. He slept OK through the night, nothing to brag about but I think he’s in a bit of a routine. He doesn’t tend to sleep much longer than 2 hrs at a time at this point but it’s better than an hour! It’s hard to say how many times we’re up per night because I sometimes (if I’m really, reeeally tired) just put him in the bed with us and feed him there so I can doze off while he eats…which probably means getting up less since he’s there with us and content to fall asleep right after eating and doesn’t fuss as much…but also tends to mean I don’t sleep QUITE as well because I feel more concerned about watching him and making sure I don’t get my blankets on him etc. So I sometimes feel as though I’m ‘up’ a lot more than I am…and I also know we’re sort of creating a monster since he’ll get accustomed to sleeping with us and as he grows it just won’t be happening because there won’t be enough room in the bed for all 3 of us! But for now it works and I like having him there so close, even if I don’t sleep as well, because he’s just so adorable and I love how he loves the closeness and I feel like we can keep him nice and warm, unlike his bassinet.

Anyway, we got up and I got us all sorted and eventually we were ready to head out the door to meet up with my mom for coffee at the hotel. We sat and had our bevies and he looked SO CUTE in his jeans and hoodie – I will post pics just as soon as I have time to get them on my computer!

We spent the majority of the day in my mom’s hotel room, enjoying cuddles with Andrew and watching some telly. After work James met up with us and we ordered Chinese food for delivery. I normally won’t eat Chinese food because I don’t trust that it’s fully vegetarian (generally things like oyster sauce and fish sauces etc are treated as vegetarian, and I have often had bits of meat discovered in the dishes, which over the years for obvious reasons has turned me away from the food entirely). But we ordered from HON’s, which has a separate kitchen for vegetarian dishes! It is even on the opposite side of the restaurant from what I recall from having eaten there once! So I don’t have to worry so much. I don’t care too much for their vegmeat since it’s so similar to the real deal and that kind of freaks me out, but the cure for that is not ordering it in the dishes! Everything we had was really quite good and seemed to sit fine with me. It was the first time I'd eaten Chinese food in probably close to 2 years, if not 2 years.

After we ate my brother and s-i-l came over for a visit. I hadn’t seen them since before my bday so they brought my gift. A funny card, a scrapbook and paper in baby boy colours so I can do up a scrapbook of Andrew (which I’m looking forward to working on bit by bit as I have time!) and a $25 gift certificate to none other than…Baguette Time!! When they were getting it they told the owner of the place that I love their brie sandwich so much…it was what I ate a few hours after giving birth to Andrew! In fact, it was them who went and picked it up for me! And it was delicious. In fact, over the course of that night I believe I also ate most of James’ sandwich too – I was so famished! LOL

After a bit of a visit it was time to go. We got home and were supposed to write out a few more thank you cards (gifts we just recently received) but we were too zonked and instead watched the last 2 episodes of Heroes that James downloaded. We’ll get the thank you’s sent out soon enough – it’s just that there are maybe a few ‘older’ people in the mix who seem to expect a speedy thank you even though it might make more sense to recognize we’re busy with baby and might not find the time to do it as promptly as they’d like…Gawd, I tell you, I never want to be that uptight! I am really trying my darndest to just go with the flow more and not fly off the handle over silly things. Not that anyone has flown off the handle over our lack of thank you or anything (and I will throw in there I did send out our first batch of thank you’s fairly early on all considered, complete with pictures where I even wrote on the backs of them, so it’s not like we’re lazy when it comes to getting the cards out, it just sometimes takes a bit of time given everything that’s going on!) I just wish people didn’t make other people worry about things that they shouldn’t really be having to worry about, you know?! I enjoy getting cards sent out and letting people know how grateful we are for their kindness, I just don’t think the cards should be obligatory cards is all…

Anyway…

Tomorrow my mom and Andrew and I will hang out similar to how we did today, then it’s off to our second to last appt with our midwife. I can’t wait to find out how much Andrew has gained since the last visit!!

He’s right out so it’s time to head back to bed. I’m sure he won’t be loving being transferred from the warmth of my arms where his head is resting to listen to my heart beat to the cool confines of his bassinet, as lovely a bassinet as it is…but hopefully he’ll be too sleepy to really notice! I need a bit of shut eye before the next feed, which I’m sure means I’ll be lucky if I get an hour in at this point!!

Monday, February 09, 2009

Back home...

I haven’t had a chance to write in a while so I’ll just do a quick little recap of the past few days…

Saturday we were supposed to have a few people over that I went to high school with but 2 had to cancel at the last minute so we only had one person over. It was nice to see her again and we had a good visit, though it went on quite long so by the time she left we were starving, ate, then had my grandma over. It was maybe a bit too much visiting all in one day, at least for me, given how tired I am in general. I’m glad my grandma got to hold Andrew for a good long while though, she was so excited to see him and he was so content in her arms!

Yesterday we lounged around a bit in the morning and then my mom and I went out. Basically the only thing I got of all the things I was looking for was one top with the gift certificate my grandma gave me for my birthday. I still have money on the gift card but only wanted the one top for now. I really like it but I’m concerned it’s going to get all stretched and won’t look great given I’ll have to lift it up to feed Andrew. I wish I could wear normal tops and have them stay nice but it’ll probably be a long time before that happens again!!

I did, however, get some cute clothes for Andrew and so did my mom! From Please Mom and Baby Gap. He looks SO CUTE in his little sweat pants and matching hoodie, omg!! I think it’s my favourite outfit he’s worn so far! I also got James a few new shirts from RW. Oh, I lied! I also got myself another nursing bra =P I was hoping to get a few more nursing tops but couldn’t find any I liked and I wanted new shoes but if you can believe it NO shoe store had Vans or Converse slip ons, what is up with that?! Always when it’s something I’m looking for, they’re nowhere to be found.

It was nice to get out for a few tho we weren’t gone long.

James had to leave Sunday night so we spent a bit of time together and then my dad took him to the ferry. I feel like I barely saw him while he was over but I guess that’s because we were always taking turns taking care of the baby, or so it seemed. The second night he even slept in a different room from us so he could actually sleep and not be squished in the bed with us :S

Anyway, after he left my parents and I did some imprints of Andrew’s feet and one of his hand (though it didn’t turn out too well since he clenched his fist!) with some clay stuff they had. And then I gave Andrew a bath so my dad could see how he holds himself up when he’s having his back and bum cleaned! He is SO CUTE in the bath!! He absolutely loves it too. He didn’t seem to want to get out!

My mom and I (and Andrew) had planned to get the 12:30 ferry over to Vancouver today but we got up late and didn’t feel like rushing to get ready so we caught the 3. Andrew slept the entire way over, fed a bit but otherwise just snoozed and was so good and quiet. We got to the apartment and my mom looked after the boy while I got all our stuff unloaded from the car. Then James came home, we had supper (chilli and Caesar salad that my mom made and we brought over – yum!) and then I walked over to the hotel with my mom for a few. Not for long though since I didn’t have any milk pumped for Andrew! Luckily he was content till I got home but it seemed he knew the moment I walked in the door and was suddenly starving! Can babies smell their mothers’ milk from afar because he often seems to either know I’ve left the room or that I’ve entered it and I wonder if it’s coincidence or not!!

Anyway, I had a nice bath tonight and then James and I watched 21 Jump Street and now he’s gone to bed. I have some stuff I need to unpack so I should get to it so I can get myself and Andrew to bed soon too. I’m tired but I want to get stuff done – but I know when I’m up half the night or more I’ll be wishing I’d slept when I could have so I probably should…

Oh yeah, not something I’d normally post for all to know since it’s kind of a private matter, but it’s something I want to make sure I have documented at the moment since it’s the first time its happened in a long time…I got my period tonight. My first in 10 months! It seems very strange to be getting it after all this time, but I’m right on time for when it should happen being that Andrew is just shy of 6 weeks old…I just wish I could have gone without it a bit longer. I mean, I just got over all the bleeding after giving birth, which lasted about 4 weeks. I finally stopped dealing with that and now I’m back to my regular cycle again?! Can’t a woman ever get a break?! GAWD. I’m not feeling too bad cramp wise and I’ve got to say, at this point I don’t think cramps would bother me much since they’ll feel like NOTHING compared to labour contractions!! BUT I am experiencing some emotional things, just kind of feeling a bit low. OK, maybe a lot low. But hopefully it won’t last. It doesn’t help that I’m so tired. I used to try to get more sleep when I had my period but of course I can’t do that now. Oh and I think there might be a full moon either tonight or tomorrow – which never helps!

Anyway, what can ya do…At least my mom is over for a bit and I’ll have her to spend time with to keep my mind off things! And it’s great too because I can talk to her about all these issues and not feel weird about it so I don’t have to hold back on anything I might be feeling! It seems to me that having a baby has opened up this other side of me, I can’t quite explain it. Also I discovered I am ready to get rid of a lot of my belongings now that before I couldn’t part with. Things like old clothes and junk from when I was in high school. I was going through stuff in my old room in Nanaimo and came across a whole bunch of things that I’ve decided have got to go. I didn’t have time to go through it all this visit so it’ll have to keep till the next time I’m there, but I’m going to finally free up some space for my parents!! It’s weird because before Andrew was born it was like I was holding onto absolutely everything but now I feel like that stuff doesn’t matter and there’s really no point hording things I don’t ever use or need or even think about! I don’t know if it’s related to having Andrew but it seems to be somehow…Maybe it’s just that I’m more focused on him now and you’d better believe I’ll find it impossible to part with any of HIS stuff – but mine matters far less now!!

Time to get cracking around here so I can get to bed – it’s midnight and I don’t want to be getting ready for the day tomorrow toooooooo late…

Saturday, February 07, 2009

Whoa, a full night's sleep, are you kidding me?!

Yesterday my mom and I took Andrew to meet Nana (his Great Nana!) She was so thrilled to bits to spend time with him and couldn’t believe how big and how alert he is for his age! My Nana has a lot of great grand children already from the other side of the family so it was kind of cool hearing her say he seems to be progressing quickly compared to where most babies are at in his age group! What a clever boy we have =)

Last night I felt so zonked I practically felt like I was going to collapse. James got here last night and the plan was that he would take over baby duties once he got up in the morning and I could sleep in since I had enough milk pumped.

Well! We had a ‘first’ last night! Andrew pretty well slept THROUGH THE NIGHT. I fell asleep about 1am and didn’t wake up till quarter to 5. He was kicking and punching the air and looking around (James was I mean – haha, no just kidding, I’m talking about the baby! LOL) Anyway, he wasn’t crying or anything and when I put my finger to his mouth he didn’t try to latch on so I knew he wasn’t hungry. I went and used the bathroom then went back to sleep and didn’t wake up again till just after 7! It was incredible. He still wasn’t fussing when I woke up but he did try to devour my finger so I latched him on and fed him for about 10-15 minutes. Then James got up with him, I had some cereal and went back to bed from just after 8 till 10:30. That is THE MOST SLEEP I have had since before Andrew was born! It was amazing. There were a few points in the night where I woke up and just stared at the baby wondering WHAT IS GOING ON, why is he sleeping so soundly?! Maybe he was just happy to have his daddy nearby again =) Whatever it was, wouldn’t it be nice if it became a regular thing?! I know, I know, I shouldn’t hold my breathe! I will take whatever I can get!! But even if it’s just once in a while, WOW what a concept! I feel like there is hope after all!!! =D

Now we’re just waiting for a few of my old high school friends to get here – they’re coming over to meet Andrew and to see us after years and years! Should be fun! It’ll probably just be a short visit but that’s good since who knows what kind of mood Andrew might get into!! Then my grandma is coming over to see Andrew again before the weekend is over. Tomorrow my mom and I are going out – I pumped milk this morning for the occasion! I want to do a little bit of shopping, nothing major but I’m looking forward to going to the mall – baby free! – and having a quick little look around!

I wish our time on the island wasn’t almost over…I’m going to miss it once I’m back home. At least my mom is going to be over till Thursday so I’ll still have company for a little while!

Oh yeah, James brought me my bday prezzies last night! I got this cool bean thing you grow and it has your horoscope on it. That was from Andrew =) I also got 2 cd’s – the newest Jack Johnson and the latest John Mayer – both I asked for. They’re both great from what I’ve heard so far! I also got season 1 of ER (Chandra you’ll be happy about that!! I think I will have to start collecting the seasons now!). Now I have LOTS of shows to watch which is sooo nice – I will have something to keep me occupied on the nights baby DOES decide to feed through the night =P

Friday, February 06, 2009

Turning 29

My birthday was great. Very different from any birthday I’ve ever had given I had my little guy to care for and therefore couldn’t really go out or do a whole lot, but it was a good day nonetheless!

I got up, fed Andrew, and sat with my mom while having a coffee. They have a Tassimo machine (their Xmas gift from my brother) and I am telling you it is the greatest thing since sliced bread!! It’s like magic making coffee, tea, hot chocolate…I am telling you it really could change your life forever if you’re a big drinker of such bevies!

Anyway…we lounged and hung around and I opened my presents. My parents got me a really nice card, a pair of pajamas (from the maternity shop and made specifically for nursing, which is perfect!), a new purse (which I asked for), 2 shows on DVD: Season 1 of Brothers and Sisters and season 1 of Ugly Betty (I have never seen either show but look forward to getting into them when I’m nursing the babe!), and a Lampe Berger, which is going to be soooooooo nice for freshening up our apartment (my parents have 2 of them and they work so well!)

I had a short nap in the afternoon with Andrew, though he didn’t really feel like sleeping at the time so it was very short lived. At least I got about half an hour of shut eye though – better than nothing at all. We got sorted and eventually my grandma arrived. She got me some bath stuff from The Body Shop and a $50 gift certificate to Ricki’s to put toward new non-maternity clothes! We sat and talked, then my uncle arrived – who gave me a really nice card and some lotto tickets – wouldn’t one million dollars a year for 25 years be NICE?! We had dinner – which was SO delish – my mom made homemade vegetarian moussaka, greek salad, roasted potatoes, and there was naan bread with hummus. Sooo tasty! My grandma brought the cake and it was chocolate with yellow flowers and icing for the words – an inside joke.

It was a nice visit and my grandma and uncle were pleased to spend some time with Andrew!

After they left we just sat around, talked, just stared at the baby and admired his every little move and expression =)

James is on his way over tomorrow – I’m looking forward to seeing him despite that I was a little annoyed he was one of the LAST people to wish me a happy bday! I had given him specific orders (through many obviously hints last week) that he should be one of the first people to wish me a happy bday even though we’d be in separate cities but he didn’t get it and waited till after work to call me…But whatevs!!! I will make him give me a foot massage or something to make up for it – lol.

It has been SO nice being here at my parents’ house, having their help with taking care of Andrew and just spending time with them in their big spacious house in comparison to our tiny little apartment in Vancouver. Andrew is becoming more and more alert and inquisitive and seems to enjoy everything he has to look at here! He gets cuter by the second =)

Anyway, for now it’s time to sleep while he is, since he could wake any time and it’s 2:30 in the morning as it is…

Thursday, February 05, 2009

25 Things

1. I am fairly sleep deprived and should be sleeping right now since Andrew is – but I’m not…

2. It’s my birthday today! I am 29.

3. Andrew just had his birthday 5 weeks and one day ago. He is 5 weeks and one day old!

4. I still can’t quite get over how unbelievably PAINFUL labour was…BUT I am proud of myself for going through it fairly naturally (no epidural).

5. I have been watching a lot of 21 Jump Street lately – we own seasons 1-3. A lot of people find that show hokey being ‘so 80s’ but personally I don’t know how you couldn’t like it!

6. Sometimes I wish we had cable now that I am glued to the couch so often with baby…but then when I have access to TV I remember why we don’t subscribe (the lack of quality shows is appalling).

7. I am proud to say that Andrew is 100% vegetarian born! I wish I was too but I’ve ‘only’ been vegetarian for just over 11 years.

8. I love my cats but ever since mid-pregnancy and especially since Andrew’s arrival, I have been a bit standoffish with them…

9. I wish my grandpa and gram (great grandma) could have met Andrew – they both would have loved him so much!

10. I try to never regret anything because everything happens for a reason and I wouldn’t be where I am now if not for it all.

11. I am still adjusting to mommyhood but so far – despite the exhausting aspects of it – I am loving it.

12. I’m afraid of death but I try not to think about it because it would drive me crazy if I did.

13. I feel like James and I should have a ‘plan’ in place for where to meet in case of a bad earthquake, but I have no idea where a safe place would be that wouldn’t be overcrowded in such an event.

14. I love the location of where we live right now but I wish we had a far bigger place.

15. I can’t wait till one day we can go to Disneyland as a family and enjoy all the rides together like me and my family did when I was young.

16. I know a lot of marriages don’t last, but I feel as though I can 100% guarantee that me and James are forever.

17. I still can’t believe I am a mom and James is a dad and we created this perfect little baby boy together.

18. I miss being able to go out without really giving much thought to it – the process of going out now is much more complicated than it used to be and sometimes it seems easier to just stay home!

19. I am a fairly quiet person and I sometimes wish I could become more outgoing but I just don’t think it’s who I am.

20. One day I want to be able to say I’m a published author, bur I haven’t yet figured out what I want to publish…

21. I enjoy playing Frisbee but rarely do because I have this habit of throwing it in the opposite direction from where I meant to and I’m always afraid of hitting an innocent bystander!

22. When I see something gruesome I feel like I should walk away but I’m always tempted to sneak a peek…

23. I never thought I’d be sitting watching TV with my parents and pumping breast milk at the same time but a lot of things change when you’re a mother!

24. I wish I had a pouch like a kangaroo that I could carry Andrew around in =)

25. I hate clutter yet I have a hard time letting go of 'things’ – I feel like everything has sentimental value.

Wednesday, February 04, 2009

Not much going on, though the days feel full!

Right now Andrew is sound asleep in his grandpa’s arms. It’s so cute to see my parents spending time with him! They just can’t get enough. Who can blame them – I can’t either!!

Today Andrew and I “slept in” till 11. Obviously we didn’t actually get that much sleep – at least I didn’t! Although I think we slept a little better than nights previous. The thing is, the little guy sleeps so much more soundly when he’s on my chest in his fetal position. As I’ve said many times by now I’m sure, having him like that is my favourite thing in the whole world! But the problem is, I can’t sleep when he’s like that! I feel compelled to cuddle him and rub his back and kiss the top of his head and stay awake to enjoy him being there! I also can’t sleep long in that position because eventually I need to stretch and move around.

So eventually I had to put him down. He didn’t take well to sleeping on his back so after feeding him a few more times I put him on his stomach and he slept ‘like a baby’ for far longer than he does on his back. I know they say nowadays that to help prevents SIDS babies must sleep on their backs, but he sleeps so much better on his tummy. When I was a baby, it was recommended to have babies sleep on their tummies…so how did I survive?! I figure when I don’t have Andrew right by me, ok I’ll have him sleep on his back but when he’s right there with me I’ll obviously wake up if he sounds like he’s struggling to breathe. Anyway, suffice it to say it felt like we slept a bit longer at a time last night. Not by too significant an amount but at the same time it feels like progress!

We got up, I had a quick bite of breakfast and went about the usual daily routine of feeding the baby, cradling him etc. We put him on the play mat thing my parents got him for while he’s here and he was smiling at it and even knew to punch at the toys hanging from the tent part of it! He’s a very clever boy =)

Nothing much happening here, just the usual. Lots of visiting time with my mom, which has been nice, and of course with my dad too once he got home from work. My mom and I took Andrew for a little walk around the block in the stroller they got him for when he’s on the island. It was nice to get out for a bit of fresh air.

Nothing exciting going on. Tomorrow’s my bday though it doesn’t really feel like it will be. It’ll be a good day and my mom always makes a great fuss over my ‘big day’ so I know I’ll feel spoiled but it still feels kind of like it’s not my birthday. Maybe I’m just too tired to think about it, I don’t know! My mom’s making vegetarian moussaka for dinner though, which I’m looking forward to! And my grandma will be coming over for dinner, and possibly my uncle.

Beyond that, I’ve got nothing. We’re all just smitten with the babe!

I wish James could be here, I really miss him. But he’ll be here in a few days.

I want to write an update post about all the chaos that ensued over the holidays re: my mother in law…It’s total insanity, I swear I could write a book about it and no one would even believe it was non-fiction! Lets just say for now things ended VERY badly with her leaving the very day after Andrew was born and she only saw him for about an hour and a half in the hospital and that was it – she didn’t say bye to him or me…it was nuts. It’s driving me slightly mental the way things ended up because she left in such a bizarre manner and then tried to pretend as if she’d done nothing wrong. I wasn’t willing to OK that, and I sent her a message giving her a piece of my mind so to speak – very diplomatic, just being honest about how hurt I was that she did what she did when the focus should have been on the huge monumental moment in James and my life of birthing our first born son. And then ultimately it should have been all about spending time with our precious baby after that. But she couldn’t put her crazy emotions aside for even 5 minutes…

Anyway more to come on that – the babe is crying and I need to go cuddle with him! I do want to vent about the whole thing though, hopefully soon I’ll have time to write about it…

Tuesday, February 03, 2009

The past few days...

It’s technically Feb 3rd since I’m writing this at almost 3am, but I’m going to write about Feb 2nd…

I got us up and got Andrew sorted, which took a while…then I went over to the hotel my mom was staying at to have a coffee with her. I got Andrew into the new baby sling I got the other day and he cried for a second – till he realized it felt like he was back in my uterus! It was amazing, the way he fit into it. I mean he wasn’t upside down like in my uterus of course, but he was bundled up right close to me and it’s like I saw him suddenly realize how cozy it was and he was out like a light. He slept the entire time he was in it!

I got to the hotel, met up with my mom and we sat and had a coffee and chatted. It’s so nice to be able to get out of the apartment and socialize elsewhere with the baby curled up and quiet, but there with us! He’s such a darling. And I absolutely LOVE the way he feels in the sling on my chest because it feels like we’re truly attached again and there’s nothing else like that feeling. I love having him so close! I feel so proud to be his momma!

After our coffee we headed back to the apartment and at first I kept Andrew in the sling to see how I could go about doing things with him in there. It worked out perfectly – he was snug as a bug on a rug and I was able to move around and do things with two hands for a change! I am SO glad I got the sling. Despite that it’s a ridiculously small piece of fabric yet cost a whopping $80 plus tax – I do think it’s going to more than pay for itself for the user-ability factor alone.

My s-i-l popped by with Maude (the bulldog) to see Andrew for a minute – outside the building since we’re not allowed dogs in our suite. Maude gave Andrew a kiss on his head, it was so cute!

After that Andrew started getting a bit restless in the sling so I got him out and my mom held him while I got all our stuff packed and ready for our trip to the island. Soooo ridiculous the amount of STUFF I had to pack for Andrew alone! I barely brought anything for myself. I used to pack 10,000 things for myself when I travelled but now it’s all about the baby! I barely need anything – what would I need?! Whereas he has about 20 different outfits and all his THINGS including his lullaby chair and the boomerang pillow and so much more! But it’s doable because my mom is bringing us back home when we go back so we have the car and can load up whatever =)

We caught the 3:00 ferry and as we were waiting for it, Andrew did a big number. So when we got on the boat we took him upstairs to change him – his first public diaper change! Well!!! It just so happened it was not just a ‘big number’ but THE biggest number of his life so far! I kid you not, he pooped through 2 layers of clothing and it was everywhere – from his belly to his back and even right up around his shoulders! Oh and I had given him a bath in the morning so he’d be all fresh and clean for the trip, so of course he had to ruin that with poo stains everywhere!

We got him all cleaned and luckily I love to pack for every occasion so I had packed extra clothes in his diaper bag so he had something clean to wear.

He got lots of oohs and ahhs from people on the ferry! My mom and I got a snack to take back to the car and we headed down to stay in there rather than sit upstairs. But at least he did get a walk around the ferry and when we got back to the car deck I showed him the water and he actually seemed intrigued by it!

The trip went fast, he barely cried and just slept in my mom’s arms almost the whole trip.

Got to my parents’ house and he met ‘the girls’ – my springer spaniel sisters (his aunts!) Emma went right up and gave him kisses and then proceeded to try to take his leg off – gently though, it’s just that he was wearing a sleeper that has bunny ears on the feet and is fleece and so she must have thought it was a toy she could play with! She soon realized otherwise and just gave him kisses. Tessa on the other hand was a bit frantic and shook in fright! She did sniff him a bit but she didn’t really want much to do with him. We’ll see if they get closer to him tomorrow…It was cute seeing their reactions because they’re about 14 and 12 and neither one of them has ever met a baby before!

We had supper and spent time with Andrew and its pretty much been all about him all night, of course! My parents are so smitten with their first grandchild. It’s so sweet watching them admire and love him! They can’t seem to get enough and just take turns holding him. We all found ourselves sitting in the living room just staring at him all night!

My mom and I stayed up talking even though Andrew did fall asleep and now it’s 3am and I REALLY should be resting as I’ve been exhausted all day as it is. And Andrew is amazingly asleep beside me in the bed already so I should take advantage and hit the lights before his next feed!

Feb 3…

Well, Andrew ended up awake right after I finished writing the above, and he was up most of the night. He clearly slept far too long in the evening when I was spending time with my parents so he wasn’t sleepy anymore by the time I was completely exhausted! I so desperately wanted to sleep longer this morning. It was so hard to get up with him but what can you do.

After lunch my grandma came over to visit with Andrew – the second time she’s seen him. She couldn’t believe how much he’s grown since the middle of January!

He’s been really good today, not too fussy. Lots of cuddle time. My parents are hogging him though! They just can’t seem to get enough of him. Around 2:30 I was feeling so zonked from not having slept at night much at all so I went and napped while my mom took care of the babe. I had pumped some milk last night so I got 2 ½ hours solid rest. It was sooo nice! I had only pumped 2 ounces so I couldn’t sleep any longer than that but it was still a LOT better than nothing.

Now I’m going to go quickly wash my hair while baby is still asleep in his grandpa’s arms. Oh he is so smitten with my dad!! When we arrived yesterday my mom held him up to my dad and said, “Is that you’re grandpa?” and he did the biggest, longest grin he’s ever done! Then today he was smiling when he saw my dad again, and when he was bawling as soon as grandpa picked him up, he was silent and happy again. He’s a grandpa’s boy!

Uh-oh, babe is fussing. He must have read my mind that I wanted to go wash my hair. He always seems to know when I want to do something that doesn’t involve him and he feels the need to protest =D


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