Sunday, November 30, 2008

Just a slight case of the pre-baby jitters...

Last night I didn’t fall asleep till 5:30 in the morning. I just tossed and turned and laid there staring at the wall. It was horrible. Finally just before 5 I got up and had a hot bubble bath and that seemed to relax my body enough that I was able to drift off when I went back to bed.

I just wasn’t tired! My body was but my mind wasn’t and I felt totally wired.

So I ended up sleeping in till 11am. Which is fine since it’s not like I had anywhere I had to be, but still, it’d be nice to be able to sleep through the night like a normal person. Especially since soon I DEFINITELY won’t be sleeping through the night!

Argh.

When I got up we had coffee and muffins and slowly got ready for the day. Went out for brunch, which was nice. When the hostess took us to our booth she actually pulled the table forward so there’d be more room on my side to accommodate my belly. LOL I take it all in stride. I’ve noticed lately people are much more accommodating of me than they were before (even tho it’s been obvious for a while now that I’m pregnant!) – maybe it’s the slow waddle that makes them feel compassion?! I don’t know but I guess I do look fairly ready to pop…

When we came home I got a few things out from under the bed (with James’ help lifting the mattress and box spring, of course) and afterwards I was exhausted. Which is ridiculous since I barely did a thing. I had to just lay there for a while and catch my breath!

Talked to my grandma and my mom, and James’ mom and then got a few things done – I washed the bedding and I am happy to have fresh sheets and duvet cover to look forward to tonight! I love the smell of fresh bedding from the dryer. We also FINALLY went through all our mail and a humungous pile of papers that needed either filing or shredding and got it all done, and James took out the garbage and recycle…Everything is really coming together. I’m feeling good about things. I feel ready!

Always more to be done but it’s manageable. I am so happy that tomorrow, instead of forcing myself out of bed early to log into work, I can sleep in till I feel like getting up and then slowly go about my day. I plan on working on my cross stitch a lot and just take it easy. I need to rest my back. I did end up taking a Tylenol last night and for a little while I thought maybe it was taking the edge off but ultimately the back pain never went away. I don’t know if it will (till baby is out, that is!). Nothing seems to help except when I’m laying in the bath…which I’m about to go and do now.

The only thing I wish was that James could be staying home with me while I’m off and not be at work all day leaving me to my own devices, but oh well. In a perfect world…At least my mom’s coming over for a few days this week, so I have her company to look forward to!

I am just so anxious now, knowing baby could decide it’s time at any moment. I have a feeling we still have a bit more time, but how can I really know for sure?! It’s no wonder I can’t fall asleep at night. I am going to be a mother in 3 weeks. THREEEEEE WEEEEEEEKS. AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If I can't sleep I might as well be productive...

Back to my list from early November…Here’s what I’ve accomplished/still need to do:


Dust bedroom (Obv this needs to be done on a regular basis! But I’ve done it a few times since writing this list so I’m checking it off!)


Look for Xmas ornaments under the bed (We are doing this tomorrow (or today, however you want to look at it)


Put away Xmas gifts recently bought (Not only are they put away but almost all of them are wrapped!)


Clean nursery


Wash baby’s clothes/blankets


Put games in closet (I’m not doing this at the moment as there’s no room in the closet and it works keeping them where they currently are)


Clean under sink in kitchen


Clear space for stroller


Dust living room (Another one to be done on a regular basis of course!)


Clean tub/bathroom floor (Another one to be done on a regular basis of course!)


Wash kitchen/solarium/front hall floors (Another one to be done on a regular basis of course!)


Clean freezer


Put clothes away


Finish baby’s time capsule (It’s ALMOST done, I’ve got letters, pictures, a magazine and some fun do-dads in there so far…thinking of a few more things to add…I was considering making a CD but what are the chances it would still work about 14-15 years from now when we give the capsule to our child??!)


FINISH BABY’S CROSS STITCH QUILT! (Well, it’s getting there. I am FINALLY finished the frame so now I have to fill in some bows in the corners and do the outline of the entire thing…it’s going to take a looong time but I feel good about my progress!)


Yay, my list is almost complete!!


I’m an insomniac btw…can’t help it. I went to bed but couldn’t sleep (probably a combo of my napping earlier and just the usual brain-won’t-shut-off-syndrome) so I got up and washed out the drawers for baby’s bureau, which I’ve been meaning to do for ages, and got stuff put away in there properly. Yes, I know, I sound like a total fanatic but it sounds worse than it actual is – I swear =P Besides, this type of nesting behaviour is perfectly normal during this stage so I have every right!! =D

A very long way of describing my day but I felt like being thorough!

I’m using James’ new Mac (which is owned by his company but that he gets to keep as long as he works for them - one of those new-fangled Macbook Pro’s that has some fancy name and is silver and costs a fortune). I am a PC girl all the way...scoff as you may, I enjoy my PC! But he happens to be using my computer at the moment to play a game (might as well get it out of his system now since he won’t be playing once baby gets here!) that isn’t compatible with Mac. It feels weird using this computer because everything seems to be the opposite with Mac, but I’m doing the best I can with it! One feature I love about it is that the keyboard is backlit, so if you were in complete darkness you’d still be able to see the keys, not just the screen. I must admit, that is pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty cool!

There’s a hilarious MadTV skit that you can find on Youtube that mocks Curb Your Enthusiasm and you should check it out if you haven’t seen it before (and if you like CYE) because it’s FUNNY!

Today I got my hair done. I was happy with it before I left the salon but then the weather (rainy and over all crummy) wilted it and frizzed it and now it’s in a ponytail. BUT I do think I’m going to like it, just not when I go out in this crappy wintery weather :P I just got my highlights touched up, didn’t do an over all dye, so just about an inch and a half got coloured. And I got about an inch and a half cut off and LOTS of thinning. A pregnancy symptom I picked up about 4 months ago or so is not losing much hair at all - I swear I have lost like 2 hairs in that whole time so for someone with naturally very thick hair, you can imagine the monstrosity that was on my head after a few months without a cut! It feels so much lighter even though it really doesn’t look all that much different than before. I wanted it a bit shorter so that it won’t have grown too long before baby’s arrival, but still long enough to fit in a ponytail. Oh how I’d love to do something new and funky with my hair but the fact is I need it to be low maintenance because lets face it, I’m not going to have time to spend on my locks when I’ve got a baby to feed, change, cuddle, love! Not that I will never have new hair again in my life but for the first while I think practical makes more sense.

After my appointment I called James to come meet up with me at Pacific Centre Mall. AKA Hell on Earth. I’m not fond of the place any time, truthfully, but when it’s packed on a Saturday with people Christmas shopping it makes me want to have a fit. I won’t get into the details of it all but we finally met up after some curfuffle and James had made us sandwiches so we wouldn’t have to buy food so we sat and ate. I was soooo hungry so the food was very welcomed! After that we went by the list I had made of what we needed (ALWAYS a good idea to have a list to avoid aimless walking and inevitable grumpiness!!) and we ended up just looking at Sears. We were looking for a rain jacket and rain pants for James with reflectors for riding his bike since he rides to work and back and should be dressed appropriately for the weather but we couldn’t find anything. We have some leads on where to look though. But we did get the breast pump and a few bottles and some new bed pillows. Everything was on sale BUT the saleswoman didn’t factor in the sale on the breast pump and bottles AND overcharged us for the pump and it is a significant enough amount that James is going to have to go back tomorrow to get that money back. I don’t think I have the energy to hit the mall again - I just can’t do it! But at least we got the stuff we needed - I think we are truly all set for baby now!

After that we were spent and we’d only gone to one store! I’d gone to The Body Shop earlier - got a new oil scent for Xmas-time for our diffuser called Warm Amber and it’s really quite nice. And massage oil since we were just about out, and this wooden massager thing that you press on the back. The saleswoman was convincing enough to get me to buy it - usually I don’t fall into their up-selling traps but this time it made sense...it’s going to be GREAT for during labour when I need James to massage my lower back a lot - this way his fingers won’t get so sore, he can just knead the thing into my muscles! He seemed happy about it when I showed it to him later =)

We left the mall and went to the Lion’s Pub for some fries and a cool drink. I had a Diet Coke but James got to have a yummy holiday ‘Candy Cane’ martini. I really don’t get jealous anymore of the drinks I can’t have because really, what’s the point in that when it’s just a fact of life I can’t be drinking that stuff right now? But part of me wishes I could enjoy some of the holiday drinks too. Ho-hum. But oh well, the DC was more thirst-quenching anyway! And martinis don’t go with fries if you ask me!!

From there we walked home...or should I say James walked, I waddled. I am in full waddle mode now. It happened rather suddenly. I can’t seem to walk like I normal person no matter how hard I try! I’ve been having lower back pain for the past few days, pretty bad actually. I am CONSIDERING taking a tylenol, which is perfectly fine to do - I’ve been told it is completely safe (just regular tylenol, no extra strength or anything) and nothing to be concerned about. It’s just I’ve only taken 1 my whole pregnancy so far and I want to keep away from stuff like that as much as possible. If I can’t handle a back ache, how am I going to be able to handle labour - that’s my thought. BUT on the other hand if I can get relief from this and not have the pain anymore, I would be much better off and able to do more I’m sure. But we’ll see...often the aches come and go - a few days on, a few off. Though my mom said with how far along I am now and how big my belly is, it’s possible I’m going to be feeling this for the duration...

I’m in full nesting mode now, getting cracking on all the final things that need doing. Advice to anyone who wants it: when you get pregnant don’t listen to people who tell you not to bother getting stuff done too early, that there’s plenty of time to do it all later. Because I’m telling you right now, if I’d left everything to the last minute I would be crapping my pants right now because I do NOT have the energy or stamina or ability, quite frankly, at this stage to do what I used to be able to do practically with my eyes closed. Everything feels like a lot more of a chore now. If I walk just a few blocks I tend to want to take a rest, so if I’m working on stuff around the apartment I have to take frequent breaks. And my back tends to suffer when I do what normally would have seemed like nothing. Getting the nursery done early was SUCH a good idea, even though a lot of people laughed or rolled their eyes thinking it was ridiculous how ‘keen’ we were. There is NO WAY I’d be wanting to do that stuff now! So getting prepared early really doesn’t hurt, and then in the last few weeks you can putter about, like I’m planning to do, getting a few things done each day as I feel I am able to but also resting up for the labour and bringing home of baby. This way too, as much as there is always more organizing and cleaning etc I could do, if baby decides to surprise us early for the most part I’d feel like everything was taken care of and I wouldn’t be stressing about all the little things I wouldn’t be able to get done. Just a little (though perhaps slightly long-winded, sorry!) word of advice =)

When we got home I soaked in a nice bubble bath - and I think I’m going to have another one before bed to nurture my poor back a bit more. I had a nap for an hour and a half after the bath, hoping the pain would be gone afterwards but when I got up I could literally barely walk. I had to hold my back with every tiny step, it was/is quite pathetic! But I’ve still managed to get some things done and feel more organized, so I’m happy.

Tomorrow if I leave the house it won’t be to go very far. This crappy weather is really getting to me. Luckily once baby is here I will have him or her to focus on and we probably won’t be venturing out much for a while with the lack of nice weather! I hate the rain so much. And if I think it’s miserable having to go out in it now I can well imagine how grumpy I will be with a stroller and baby and all the gear and not being able to carry an umbrella...I want an umbrella hat! They’re the most ridiculous thing ever yet probably the most practical if you think about it! Why carry an umbrella when you can just wear it on your head?! Then again, I don’t really want to be one of those people... =P

That was my day...now I’m sipping a delicious hot chocolate, one of the perks of having to put up with this weather I suppose!

Just 2 more days till we can decorate for the holidays!!

Friday, November 28, 2008

November Rain

My lower back is KILLING me.

We had our midwife appt today at 3:45…James was meeting me there as he’d have to go from work and had his bike. Since it was pouring rain and cold out and I was feeling tired, I decided I’d taxi there rather than walk like I usually do. Driving from our place to the clinic should take no longer than 5 minutes TOPS. Walking, at my current pace, would be half an hour or a little more (20 minutes for me pre-pregnancy!)

So I called for the taxi at 3:05, thinking I’d actually get there super early and if that was the case I’d go look in a nearby shop or two to pass the time.

Well, I waited. And I waited and I waited.

Then I waited some more.

By this time, standing outside in the cold I was starting to get grumpy and a tad stressed about being late since I HATE being late for anything.

I called the taxi company back to find out where the taxi was after waiting for 25 minutes and they said I was still on the list…So I continued waiting thinking it would just be another couple of minutes.

3:45 came and went and I was starting to feel a bit panicky. It was an appointment I didn’t want to miss – the second one James has ever attended and an important one in terms of what the midwife would be telling us. Plus I had to do my Group B Strep test.

So finally at 4:05pm – after standing outside the building for a full HOUR waiting for a taxi that never came, I decided to walk. The midwife was running a tad late and said she was going to be sticking around the office to do some paper work after our appt anyway so she could wait for me to get there. I booted it as fast I could and got there sometime around 4:30 or just after.

By which time I was soaked (even with using an umbrella), exhausted, and in pain. I hoofed it at a fairly quick pace for someone of this stage of pregnancy who is a little more used to taking things somewhat slow…It wasn’t healthy! I was about 2 blocks from the clinic and I was actually considering just bursting into tears right there on the sidewalk and getting it over with but I resisted.

So I was soaked through for the appointment and not in the greatest of spirits, but the appointment went well anyway. We found out when to call the midwife in labour etc and got to listen to baby’s heartbeat. It was very fast and very strong, and baby was moving around the whole time! The midwife told us that baby was resting on my right side this time – and you could see the bulge of baby’s back and she told us where the bum is. I think baby has the cutest little bum in the whole wide world, even if I haven’t actually seen it yet!! And he or she is head down – in a PERFECT position for delivery. So I’m not worried about baby’s positioning because its been perfect every time the midwife has checked for probably the past 3 months! Baby knows the right way out =)

After the appointment I was tempted to just go home and be done with it for how gross I felt being soaked to the bone. But James suggested we go out to celebrate me finishing work and have supper out just because we can and soon we won’t be able to. So we went to a yummy Greek restaurant on Davie called Taki’s. It was quite tasty – I think it was our 3rd time there and I’ve always been happy with it. I also picked up more iron supplements and tea from the health food store, and we stopped by Safeway for milk and orange juice and a few other things we needed. James biked home with the stuff and when I finally managed to waddle my way in the door he ran me a bath.

I could barely walk home, I was tempted to just stop halfway and sit there on the flooded sidewalk. I’m not exaggerating, that’s how much back pain I had. And still have. The bath helped while I was in it but I can seriously barely even walk now! Going just from the bathroom to the bedroom took me a few minutes of waddling like a penguin and given how small our place is, it should take only about 2 seconds to go from one room to the other!

So I’m going to go lay down and put a hot pack on my back and maybe snooze for a little while. We might watch a movie later called Half Nelson but if we don’t get around to it tonight, there’s always tomorrow.

I’m getting my hair done tomorrow – I can hardly wait! I need to get some chopped off and have it thinned out and get my highlights touched up. It’ll be a long while before I get back for a fresh ‘do after this one!

Thank gawd for vacation days and maternity leave...

I AM FINISHED WORK! DONE, DONE, DONE!!!!!

It’s kind of like taking your last final exam for the school year – it doesn’t sink in right away that you’re finished even though you know you are. It’s such a load off yet I feel as if I still have to go back on Monday. Thank gawd I don’t though! Time to relax before baby gets here and I forget the meaning of that word!!

I’m officially on vacation, not maternity leave, since I had 2 weeks vacay saved up and just got paid for the past 2 weeks and the next 2 weeks today. Can’t splurge with the money though – after that there’s no income for me! Though I did apply for EI so hopefully I will qualify for that.

James and I are going to my midwife appointment together today. It’s good for him to get to know the midwife a bit, and ask any questions he may have. She’s going to talk to us about when to call her when I go into labour and other important tidbits that could become crucial at any time.

Baby is shifting about so much today! I just hope we find out he or she is still in head down position, ready for a grand entry into the world!

Thursday, November 27, 2008

Feeling gross…

After our class last night we went out for something to eat and I thought it went down ok but I ended up getting so sick in the night. And I know it was because of the food. I was lying in bed trying to get to sleep and baby was rolling all over the place and I was feeling pretty much the same way – it didn’t agree with either one of us! I started throwing up just after 3am so I didn’t get to sleep till past 4. And up just after 8 – not enough sleep to get me through the day! I ended up having to take a little mid morning nap. But I’m still exhausted and not feeling entirely great. At least baby stopped rolling once I got the food out of my/our system…

I neeeeeeeed energy!! I so wish I had some. I am feeling so sleep deprived and yet I know I will be even more so once baby is here. It’s going to be hard to adjust to being so tired ALL THE TIME. I know I’ll do it, somehow, but my gawd what I would do for a good night’s sleep!

I’m washing dishes and doing laundry and trying to get things in some sort of order around here. How is it that things can get so out of control even when you think you’re taking care of it all on a regular basis?! I wish I could do a big clean up and then it literally wouldn’t get dirty or messy again for like a month. OR press a button and it’s all taken care of, like in The Jetson’s. Oh, how I wish I could make meals the way they did on that show!

One more day left of work. JUST ONE MORE DAY!! I am ecstatic!

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Prenatal

Today we had our second to last prenatal class. We discussed caesareans, including watching a video of one, and breastfeeding. We also did a few breathing exercises and went over some of what we’ve learned so far as a sort of refresher.

I find I feel a bit overwhelmed by some of the info covered in the class. I think it’s great to learn everything and I’ve definitely taken a lot from what I’ve learned. But sometimes it can be a bit much to take in in the span of a 2 hour session.

I know I 100% do not want a c-section and I really, really, really, really hope it doesn’t happen that I end up needing one. If it happens, it happens and there’s nothing I can do necessarily, but I’ll do everything I can to avoid it! I just feel it’s too invasive, I don’t like the recovery time, or the fact that I don’t get to immediately bond with baby. All sorts of reasons really…I just feel so uneasy about it. I didn’t like watching the video of it. It wasn’t too graphic or anything – these educational birth videos aren’t out there to freak people out or ‘show too much,’ it’s just…something about caesareans scare me I guess. I hope so much that I am able to have a vaginal birth for baby. It comes with its own concerns, of course, but to me it’s far better than the alternative.

Going over breastfeeding techniques and dos and don’ts was interesting. I’m not so concerned about breastfeeding because I have really strong support system – from James and from our midwife, who will come to our apartment every second day for the first week at least just to make sure it’s all working out. So I have confidence we’ll be able to make it work. I don’t see why it wouldn’t. Of course, things can happen that can make it difficult but I will do my absolute best to make it work as I know the health benefits are so far beyond what formula can do. Not to mention the bonding experience of it between mother and baby.

We can’t wait more than ever now for baby to BE HERE! We keep grinning at each other and thinking in total disbelief that we’re going to be parents in a matter of weeks. It’s so amazing, we can’t get over it!

Getting things done

I’m so tired…what else is new? This blog is becoming like a broken record because I have so very little to talk about that isn’t more of the same each day!

Getting through the last few days of work, I can hardly wait to be finished. 2 more days! I can’t quite believe it but it’s true.

I’ve been working hard at getting the cross stitch finished. Here is where I’m at…well, I’ve done a bit more since I took these pics yesterday but it gives an idea. There are a few parts I have to fill in once I’ve done the frame part, then I have to outline everything – so you can see how time consuming it’s still going to be! But it will keep me busy till baby gets here =)

That’s all I’ve got right now…

The start of something new...

I washed all of baby’s clothes today (well, yesterday now), and receiving blankets, burp cloths, hooded bath towels – you name it. Everything washed up really nicely, and smells so fresh and clean from the Babysoft detergent. All ready for our little peanut’s arrival! Now I can get everything sorted and put away and ready. I wanted to get it done a bit early since you never know when baby will get here, and I didn’t want to have waited too late to get it all done. Yes, I technically have 4 weeks left for this stuff, but there’s no time like the present! Plus with getting so much more tired (and BIG) as the days go on, it makes sense to do this stuff that requires energy while I feel like I’ve got a bit to spare!

I also started wrapping Christmas presents – we are well on our way to being finished, which makes me happy. Just 5 more days till we can start playing Christmas tunes and drink Eggnog (well, James has already started drinking Eggnog but I’m sticking to my Dec 1st policy!) We’re not getting all decked out with our Christmas decorations this year like our usual, but we’ll have our fibre optic tree out and a few little things around the apartment to make it feel like the holidays.

We watched a movie tonight called The Visitor. It was pretty good, I’d give it probably a 7.5 out of 10. Check it out!

I need to work on my cross stitch now so this is just a short update of today’s events. I can’t believe I am now starting week 37…

Which reminds me: During a dream I had while napping today, I dreamt we had a baby boy…only I didn’t actually have to go through labour! We were at the hospital and I told James ‘It’s time’ but he didn’t get up to go find a nurse, so I ran out to the hall to find someone. A doctor scoffed at me and told me I was overweight and needed to stop taking iron supplements in order to get the weight off (which makes absolutely no sense!) I was getting angry with him, telling him I was PREGNANT not FAT, there WAS a difference. So I ran back to the room and James was holding our baby…only it had big puffy feet and a puffy face…It was cute but puffy, I don’t know how else to describe it! At that point we didn’t know if it was a boy or girl. I ran back to the hall to find a nurse and when I came back, James was wheeling baby around the room in a red wagon. He was all dressed up in a blue outfit (that’s how I figured out it must be a boy!) When I went over to the wagon, baby rolled over and grinned at me and took my hand with his teensy tiny one, and I was instantly in love!

In the dream it was December 4th because I remember thinking how sweet it was that baby was born right before me and James’ 10 year anniversary together. I don’t take these things as signs though…just weird subconscious drivel. It’s just a dream! And given I had zero contractions and baby was just suddenly THERE miraculously, well…James told me, “Keep dreaming!!” =P

I am so curious if we’re having a boy or a girl. I’ve had so many dreams either way. I have literally no idea, not even a hint of thinking one way over the other. I am getting so anxious now to find out! I’m glad we waited though, it’s so much fun wondering and knowing that soon the rewards of all this waiting will come! I WANT MY BABY!!!!! Yeah, I think I’m ready now =)

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

36 full weeks

I’m exhausted, but once again up super late – not sleeping when I really should be. It’s getting quite frustrating, this whole not-able-to-sleep-because-my-mind’s-racing-not-to-mention-my-belly’s-uncomfortable-and-the-heartburn-is-killing-me thing…

I attempted to go to bed early but ended up crying – not a lot, just a little, but still – and talking to James for about an hour. Just about concerns and worries – the fact that I really know very little about babies yet am about to have one of my own…the imminent labour and not knowing exactly when it’s going to be, just that it’s guaranteed to be soon…all the unknowns. I’m so happy and so excited but so overwhelmed by everything. And I’m getting so tired that just small tasks sometimes floor me. This morning I tidied a little bit and vacuumed and I was beyond exhausted afterwards with an excruciating back ache – I had to go lay down before I could really function again!

Anyway, all very normal things to be thinking and feeling, I know. But that doesn’t really make me feel any better.

It’s hard too because I see James being so calm and relaxed about absolutely everything. Why isn’t he the least bit stressed? Mind you, it’s got to be fairly different for him, given that while being a support person during labour isn’t an effortless position to be in, it’s not like he has to worry about the actual pains of labour and going through it and having a completely different body afterwards and so on and so forth…

All these changes taking place……………………………………………………..It’s too much to think about sometimes!

I CAN’T WAIT till baby is here on so many levels, so why do I seem so hesitant all of a sudden?! I’m ecstatic about becoming a mom…but it frightens me too! I can’t help it! And sometimes I just feel so weepy and then I can’t talk because I feel as if no matter what words were to come out of my mouth, they would make me blubber and cry and I just can’t talk and cry at the same time!

Anyway…

My mom came over today. It was nice to have a visit with her. After I finished up with work, she and I had a coffee and chatted, then my aunt came over and we went for lunch. Then my mom and I came back to the apartment, had some tea and later went over to my brother and s-i-l’s and James met up with us there after work. We had some yummy Indian food for supper. We walked my mom to the bus stop to catch the ferry home, then came home and watched some Coronation Street. I wished my mom could have stayed longer, it felt like such a rushed visit. I felt bad for her because it’s so much travel time for a day trip to the city. I wish we lived closer and didn’t have the ocean between us. But since it’s my last week of work till I go on leave, I have to get as much work done as I can. Maybe next week she can come over and crash on our couch for a night so we can spend a bit more time together. I so wish I could just pop over to Nanaimo for a few days like I would normally do without even thinking. But I know I shouldn’t really be travelling now. Plus just the bus ride and then ferry I think would be too much for me at this point, I’m too tired for it. Sad, but true. I just miss my parents and want to see them more and have them see me progress to the end of pregnancy, and see the dogs and just hang around. But I should probably stop thinking about it at the moment because I can see it setting me off into another fitful of tears and I’m really not in the mood!

I’m happy to be finishing my last week of work though. It is going to be such a relief come Friday afternoon when I am completely done with it for an entire year. I really need to just put it in the past and focus on the future.

Monday, November 24, 2008

Tired but happy

Yesterday was a fairly low-key day. I had a horrible sleep Saturday night – about 3 hours total – so I was exhausted by morning and there may have been a few tears as a result! I am getting so tired and anxious and uncomfortable and have so many feelings about the baby coming, about not being pregnant anymore, about a whole slew of things really. Luckily James was there and we talked about some things and he convinced me to try to get some more rest. I slept for about an hour and a half and while I was still very tired when I woke up, at least I’d caught a few extra zzz’s.

We lazed around and eventually I mustered the energy so we could go to Safeway. We were down on so many things and really couldn’t go any longer without stocking up a bit. It was such a nice, sunny day – very mild for this time of year. James got a coffee and I had a hot chocolate along the way. We got lots of groceries and N&M’s Xmas present (so we’re completely done now – I just have to find something for my bro’s bday gift since it’s in early Jan). We came home, got everything put away and had some food. Oh and we’d rented a movie along the way – Tropic Thunder. James picked it, I didn’t think it would be good but he seemed adamant it would be funny.

Well about 2 seconds into it I knew I wouldn’t like it. I tried to give it a chance but it was so vulgar and S-T-U-P-I-D that I couldn’t even cross stitch in front of it! (Which I tried to do for a little while). I decided to go have a nap, so I slept for another hour and a half – much needed for sure.

It turned out the movie sucked big time so I’m glad I didn’t waste more time on it. James never even finished it – it started skipping and he took it out to find it was scratched. So he was able to take it back and exchange it for something else – something that looks more quality but I can’t remember what it’s called at the moment. We’ll probably watch it tomorrow.

I stayed up fairly late – wasn’t tired after the nap, well I was but as if I could fall asleep at a decent time, right?! So I worked on my cross stitch and puttered about a bit. Got things a little tidied up.

My mom’s coming over for the day today, just to check in on me and have a little time together. Should be nice, I think she will come over for the day once a week till the baby arrives. I welcome the company, especially after this week when I’m completely finished with work and won’t have anything else I have to think about (but baby of course!)

I can’t believe tomorrow is 36 full weeks…Although it can take up to 41 weeks for a baby to decide it’s ready, 37 weeks is considered full term. Almost there!!!

Saturday, November 22, 2008

Baby Shower

Today was our baby shower at N&M’s house. The theme was ‘Rubber Ducky You’re the One’ – how cute is that?! We came home with a little family of rubber duckies =) Among other things – some bubble bath/lotion/slippers/sleep mask for me, 3 Mercer Mayer books to read to baby, a Classic Pooh mobile that plays Brahm’s Lullaby (from A), the cutest and plushest Roots baby robe, Roots baby socks, and fun gag type gifts that were prizes won during the fun games we played. M&N made up baby/pregnancy related games based on some board games we like, including Things and Scattergories. We also played that headbands game where you have to guess who you are. We were all famous babies…I was Pebbles and James was Baby Jesus =) Others included Maggie Simpson, Suri – Tom and Katie’s baby, the Olsen twins (not babies anymore of course but babies from the 80s!) and the Linburgh baby.

We also did a really funny pregnancy Mad Libs. So many laughs! We had such a great time. And yummy snacks and drinks and cupcakes – everyone went all out for us, we felt very loved =) Considering we didn’t actually want a shower, this party turned out to be a really fun non-traditional one!

After the party we came home, then went over to M&N’s (not N&M’s where the party was held, confused yet?! Haha) and continued the party from there – which meant ordering pizza, playing with the puppy, chatting, drinking (well, everyone but me of course!) It was fun. Our pizza came with shrimp on it though so of course we couldn’t eat it and had to wait another half hour or more for them to deliver what we actually ordered! But once we finally got it, it was good.

Now we’re home, I had a nice soak in the tub and did a bit of cleaning and James is vegging on the couch. Tomorrow we have to do some organizational stuff – I wish I had the energy to get some of it done tonight but I just don’t. I’m tired. And feel lazy. I should work on my cross stitch but do I have the energy for that even? We’ll see. At least for the most part tomorrow will be a fairly low key day, maybe get a bit of grocery shopping done and hang around. Nothing too major, which is about all I’m up to these days! Though it felt like we did a lot today, it was a very social afternoon/evening.

Soon baby will be here and can be the center of all the celebrations!

Insomnia has officially taken me over

It’s after 3 in the morning and I am tired and I want to sleep but there seems to be nothing in this world I can do to get to that state. No matter how badly I want it! I just lay in bed and toss and turn (and groan because tossing and turning at this stage is NOT comfortable nor an easy feat). I keep thinking about baby and how fast time is going by now. I was reading through What to Expect When You’re Expecting in the ninth month, which is where I’m at – but I can’t really believe I’m actually HERE in the NINTH month…how did this happen?! Why did I think pregnancy was taking forever and now here it is down to the wire, with just over 4 weeks left to go, possibly less?! HOW CAN I BE DOING THIS, ME, ELIZABETH, BECOMING A MOTHER?! It feels like just yesterday I was still a little girl myself, it seems so unreal that I will soon have a little girl or boy of my own.

I say that I’m ready but really, how can I person ever truly be ready for such a thing?! I’m not panicking here, just thinking all sorts of things at once…I know it will all come together and things will go well and life will be so interesting but right now everything feels so intense!

All natural things to feel, I’m sure.

Plus the deliriousness from lack of sleep no doubt plays a part in all of this!

It’s hard to believe that tomorrow is exactly 1 month till our due date…

Friday, November 21, 2008

Nesting activities

James got home from work tonight (last night now) at about 11:30pm. I was not impressed! He started work at 8:30 in the morning…that makes for quite a long day.

I hate how worked to the bone he is, especially now…I wish he had a bit more time to relax with me before baby’s arrival.

Today after work I did laundry galore. Got our bedding done, clothes, and then all of baby’s reusable diapers. They’re taking forever to dry because I washed so many of them at once! Some I’m leaving to air dry, the cloth ones dried up nicely though. I’m thinking we’ll be using disposables as well but I want to try to use the washable kind as much as possible. With disposable liners though – I’m not such an environmental keener that I’m willing to scrape poo off reusable liners as well, I’ve got to draw the line somewhere!

I got all of baby’s clothes out and have sorted them for washing but will get to that tomorrow. It’s recommended that all of baby’s clothes and blankets etc be washed before first use. I got some Babysoft detergent for baby’s things, although I think we’ll use it for all our stuff too. It was fun going through baby’s little outfits. Everything is SO CUTE and TINY and I just can’t believe that a person can be so small as to fit into that stuff! Baby is going to be so freaking adorable, I’m not going to be able to stand it!! I’m going to have so much fun playing dress up =)

Baby had a very active day today. Lots of shifting left to right and back to left again, bulging out by my belly button. Also kicks into my ribs, of course – one of baby’s new favourite things to do! Some hiccups…and even a hand maybe, or elbow, jab to my lower left. The movements are getting stronger and harder every day!

I had a nap this evening while waiting for James to get home and maybe I shouldn’t have because now I’m finding I’m wide awake. Tired and not up to much but awake nonetheless. I just made a batch of oatmeal chocolate chip cookies with walnuts. Yum! I guess you could say I had a surge of energy today for nesting activities but then once I finish doing the stuff I feel so wiped!

Now if only I could sleep through the night…

Thursday, November 20, 2008

We're getting down to the wire here...

I’m sick of all the economic crisis crap in the news these days. Unless you have money tied up in stocks, I don’t see the effect. I honestly believe that it’s the fear of spending money because of all this stuff in the news that is what is going to cause an ACTUAL economic crisis. If people stop spending their coin, there’s the problem right there. But I personally haven’t noticed a single difference in the economy. I don’t have any money invested anywhere, and anything I would normally spend money on isn’t more expensive – so what’s the problem?

I know it stems deeper and if I did have money invested maybe I’d be shitting myself. But really…I am sick and tired of the media spewing out these stories about how hard everything is, causing so many people to lap it all up and worry and stress over saving pennies which in turn contributes to the overall problem, which probably wouldn’t even exist (or barely would) if people didn’t listen so much to the news!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

There’s my rant for the day.

I ended up getting up at 6am and started work…not because I wanted an early start but because I couldn’t sleep. I didn’t fall asleep till after 2am so it was NOT enough rest. But my legs were aching really bad through the night, and my lower back, then baby would start shifting about. Nothing was working for me. I also had some nightmares – can’t remember them in detail now but I did wake up feeling anxious a number of times. I do recall one dream, not a nightmare though…where I gave birth! We had a boy this time. I’ve had dreams where it’s a girl and where it’s a boy so I no longer take them as a sign of what’s to come! But I was able to have a natural birth…and we were contemplating whether to call everyone and just say, ‘You have a grandson’ or ‘You have a nephew’ etc or if we should call him by his name =) I don’t remember what else happened in that dream but I was quite thrilled to have my little baby in my arms!

I have also started dreaming occasionally that I hear a baby crying or making noise and it wakes me up as if baby is already in the bassinet beside me.

Then I lay there and think omg I am never going to sleep again once baby is here, am I?! How could I when my ultimate duty is going to be to protect my little one at all times??!!!?!

I guess there is anxiety because I think WHOA I am going to be a MOTHER in a few WEEKS! Even with all these months to ‘prepare’ it’s a lot to take in! It feels sudden when you get down to the wire like this. THIS IS ACTUALLY HAPPENING. WE ARE HAVING A BABY. JAMES AND I ARE GOING TO BE THE PARENTS OF A CHILD. IN A MATTER OF WEEKS. ANY TIME NOW. THIS IS REAL! All these types of things race through my mind when I should be sleeping, when I am awake, all the time really…

I’m excited, happy, can hardly contain myself, but still! AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I think I’ll feel better once baby is here and I have him or her to focus on and I’m no longer thinking all these crazy thoughts. Of course, there are going to be a million things that will happen over time that will make my head spin, I know…But it’s going to be so worth it!

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

35 weeks + 1 day...and counting!

I’ve actually made a LOT of progress with my cross stitch! I am feeling so much better about it now. I’m finding the border that frames the squares of animals a lot easier, or at least quicker going than the animals themselves were. At the rate I’m going with the hours I’m spending each day on it now, I should be finished the frame in less than a week, hopefully just a few days if I really go at it. My mom is coming over on Monday to spend the day with me so I’m going to get her to show me how to do the outline stitching. It’s a little more complicated and I want to be sure to do it right so I don’t end up getting this far and then ruining the whole thing!

Who would have thought a cross stitch quilt would be so time consuming?! Though really, it’s a fun project, and something good for me to focus some nervous energy on!

We had our 3rd prenatal class tonight. Before the class we went for a tour of the maternity ward. It wasn’t much of a tour – really we were just shown a room like the one we will have when we deliver. It’s great that all the rooms are private rooms automatically – it’s not something you have to pay extra for and hope to get. I will even have my own bathroom with a tub that has jets and everything! Though I don’t know if I will use it. I’m HOPING to stay home as long as I can before we go to the hospital, in which case despite it not having jets, I can use my own tub if I want to have a soak. But we’ll see how it all goes! It was good to get a visual of what the room is going to be like – the fewer things left as open questions in my mind, the better.

Our class was good, but a bit heavy this week topic-wise. We watched another birth video, this time of a woman who got an epidural. It seemed a lot less intense that’s for sure, but I also found since they were so focused on discussing the epidural aspect, they didn’t really show the first stages of labour as much as in the first video. So while it seemed like a much easier birth experience, I don’t know if it’s really fair to compare the two. I am still leaning toward wanting as natural a birth as possible. Maybe I just want to know if I can do it…And if I can’t, that’s ok too, I won’t beat myself up for it if I end up using drugs. I might try the laughing gas if I need something to just calm down a bit (not for pain management) – the good thing about the stuff is that as soon as you stop sucking it in and take a breath of fresh air, it leaves you. So it has no lasting effects on you or the baby, which makes me feel less uneasy about it. But I’d only use it if I felt I needed it, not just to use it. Beyond that, I hope not to need anything else.

We also discussed the use of forceps and vacuum suction, neither of which I hope to need. They’re only used during complicated births of course, not because a person would WANT them to be used! Still though…then there’s the dreaded c-section…Though we’re discussing that in more detail next week. I so hope that baby and I can cooperate and together manage an uncomplicated vaginal birth!

At the end of the class we did some massage, which was a nice treat for ending the session! James gives great massages and is generally quite in tune with my body and what type of pressure I like so I think he’ll be able to give me some nice rubs during labour – hopefully it can help ease the pain to some degree…

Baby has hiccups AGAIN…my god, baby loves to hiccup! I swear…it must be just that there’s not a whole lot else for him or her to do in there?! Geez…and it usually happens every night around this time too…weird!

Anyway, after class we went to Red Robin for a bite to eat, which was nice. I think if we feel up to it we’ll go for something to eat after each class (just 2 more) because it’s our last chance really for being out somewhere later in the evening like that! Might as well enjoy it while we can!

I left class today feeling a bit more nervous perhaps than I was before I went…which is not what they want us to take from the sessions at all. But I think I just need a chance to absorb what I learned and compartmentalize it and then I’ll be fine. There are just so many little details of things that can happen that we’d generally prefer to avoid…and I just have to recognize those things for what they are but not let them affect me. It’s good to be informed but it’s also important not to stress and worry that all those things are going to happen, because really complications are rare in someone who’s young, of low risk to begin with, and healthy – and I’m all 3 of those things, so I really shouldn’t be too concerned.

I would definitely recommend doing prenatal classes for a first pregnancy though, we’ve only had 3 classes so far and we’ve both taken a lot from them. It really does help to have questions answered and things explained. Even if it is a lot to take in sometimes, it’s definitely beneficial.

It’s also fun to see how the ladies bellies have expanded since the week before! Our due dates go from the middle of December all the way to early February so there are all sorts of shapes and sizes!

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

An update...And Pregnancy Questionnaire III

OK so I am feeling better for the most part. James and I had a bit of time together tonight. It didn’t feel like enough but what can you do…I know it’s not HIS fault that he’s working like crazy lately, it’s just an unfortunate circumstance.

After a nice warm bath had by moi, we finished last week’s Corrie episodes (you can watch online but they only post the episodes once a week, on Sundays). So we have a while to wait for the next episodes but that’s ok…

James got the hiccups tonight. I can’t remember what I said but I made him laugh and it caused him to get the hiccups…well if baby didn’t start hiccupping as well! Daddy and baby were hiccupping in unison, how cute is that?! Like father, like son or daughter! LOL

Taken a week ago...


I’m currently drinking my tea concoction and I have to say I quite enjoy it. I’m wondering if it’s something I might enjoy continuing to drink after pregnancy. From time to time anyway. It’s a blend of two teas, one being Nettle Leaf and the other Raspberry Leaf. During pregnancy it’s only recommended during the last trimester and most especially in the last month I think, though I started drinking it probably a month ago. Not every day but often enough. I don’t know if Nettle Leaf tea is fine throughout the whole pregnancy though – I only found out about it through my midwife last month. It has a lot of minerals in it apparently so it’s quite good. And the Raspberry Leaf tea is meant to help tone the uterus in preparation for labour. The two teas together taste really good, it’s a calming blend. I don’t add anything, it tastes great on its own. Nice as a drink before bedtime (save for the fact that tea is a dieretic and it’s not like I need any help in filling my bladder in the middle of the night at this stage!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

This Saturday is our non-shower for baby. We didn’t want to have a shower because we’re not really into inviting a whole bunch of people we rarely have anything to do with to come and give us presents. It just seems awkward and is not our thing. But M really wanted to throw us a celebration-of-baby party so we let her go ahead with it…There will be 7 of us attending. As long as it’s not too showery it should be fun!! And I like that it’s guys and gals – I don’t like the idea of how showers generally are women only so the guys have to feel left out. Not that it has to be that way and not that it’s wrong for just girls to get together from time to time but we’re so non-traditional about these things, we can’t help but do things different from the norm! The way I see it is yes, I may be doing the majority of the work in bringing baby into the world but it’s James’ baby too so he should be in on the celebration!

Anyway, here is the pregnancy questionnaire again, I think it is the last time I’ll fill it out so here goes:

How far along? 35 weeks exactly

Total weight gain/loss: It’s a guesstimate but I would say I’ve gained about 30-32 pounds…so far!

Maternity clothes? Is there anything else?! I don’t remember what pre-pregnancy clothes are like! Actually I have one stretchy top from before pregnancy that I still wear from time to time, but beyond that it’s maternity wear only!

Stretch marks? Oh yes, there are plenty of those. Breasts, sides near my back and even on my thighs…I swear I woke up one morning and there they were, in all their glory! But I’m not letting it bother me, it’s all part of the process!

Sleep: Don’t take it for granted if you’re able to get it! I do ok when I take naps but I’m not sleeping well, it’s so hard to find a position that’s comfortable for both me AND baby…And baby always wins so I end up awake more often than not it seems! Practice for what’s to come, right?!

Best moment this week: Finding out that baby is in head down position and what appears to be a good position for labour…lets just hope he or she decides to stay that way!

Have you told family and friends? All you have to do is look at me, and you’ll know!

Movement: Very strong now…there is less amniotic fluid now and baby is gaining fat, so the combination of the two means more uncomfortable jabs for me…Though I don’t mind really, I love feeling baby move around in there! Sometimes it startles me because it’s very quick and strong but it’s baby and baby can do no wrong! It’s really quite cute actually, and I know once baby is out I will miss all of this so I’m trying to enjoy it as much as I can!

Food cravings: I am loving Twix bars lately! The chocolate bar with the cookie crunch! It’s got all the right textures.

Anything making you queasy or sick: Not really…I have felt a bit of nausea here and there but with the Diclectin I have been able to stave it off. I’m still having to take it though, was down to 1 a day for a few weeks but now I’m at 1 somedays, 2 others, depending how I feel. Nothing in particular is making me feel ill though…

Have you started to show yet: I am starting to show signs of being ready to pop soon!!
Leakage: Colostrum, from time to time, yes. There isn’t anything in particular that causes it, it just happens whenever it feels like! But it’s just a droplet here and there, nothing too major!

Gender prediction: Still can’t say…50% boy, 50% girl! Everyone keeps saying girl but I just don’t know…I don’t have that intuition like some women seem to…

Labor Signs: None so far. I may have had Braxton Hicks contractions without knowing it, or mild ones that just felt like a bit of a period cramp, but I can’t be too sure. I would say baby is still content to be in there for a little longer so I’m not experiencing labour signs just yet.

Belly Button in or out? I was sure it was going to pop last week but it hasn’t yet! Very close though, there isn’t much left to it now! We’ll see if it actually happens though…I will be surprised if it does, given how deep it was starting out…

Wedding rings on or off? I took them off last night but put them back on this morning. I wasn’t really swollen though, I think it was because of the bath I had last night and when I got out I felt a real hot flash for some reason. But I actually haven’t had ANY real swelling at all. My midwife said I am lucky because usually by this stage swelling would have happened – not that I couldn’t still get it in the coming weeks but luckily I’ve not dealt with it at all up to this point! One of the only things I haven’t experienced it seems!!

Happy or Moody most of the time? I’ve been maybe a tad moodier than I was before but for the most part happy. And often when I am feeling emotional it’s a joyous sort of emotion, even if there are tears involved. I guess I am more sentimental than I used to be. And so excited for baby’s arrival! A little overwhelmed at times but definitely happy!

Weekly Wisdom: Even with all the aches and pains that go along with pregnancy, it’s important to enjoy this time because it’s going to be over soon. Cherish the movements and this particular bonding time with baby. And do things for yourself/with your partner etc that you want to do before baby’s arrival because everything is going to change so much once they’ve made their debut!

Milestones: I can’t quite believe it, but with this week behind me, I am into the final month of pregnancy now!

Monday, November 17, 2008

Wilted

It’s frustrating when you put a meal together, despite being exhausted and really not having the energy to do so, but you muster it anyway only to find out the person you made half of it for isn’t going to be home till waaaaay after dinner time. It’s not like I was making some huge fancy meal or anything but it’d just be nice to be told ACTUALLY I WON’T BE HOME IN TIME FOR SUPPER SO EAT WITHOUT ME…But what you get for not telling me is wilted salad and cold soup, so enjoy!

Not that I’m bitter or anything.

OK so I am…

And it’s not good for baby! I started tensing up and felt super irate and then was crying…and baby really started to squirm, which of course then makes me feel guilty that my negative vibes are being sent straight to him or her…

I’m trying to just be calm and not be affected. I am just SO SICK of the ‘I’m going to be late tonight’ card being played every single goddam night of the week. If it was once in a while that would be one thing but it’s every frigging day now. Why is it when you need someone the most they can’t seem to be there for you? Why is it that as we approach our due date and I am finding myself in a more needy state, this is when James’ boss decides to ask him to work overtime every single day? And it’s not like he gets paid extra for it, given he’s on a salary he sees nothing for all the extra hours. It all really pisses me off. And also makes me feel very sad, because James and I have very little time left where it’s ‘just us’ but by the time he’s home from work these days he’s always too tired to do much of anything.

I am feeling really lonely tonight. I guess because I am here by myself a lot, I have to do everything around here and I’m getting sick of it…I need someone (James in particular) to be here with me a bit more, just as a sort of moral support if that makes any sense. Sometimes I just get aches and pains and it helps when someone else is around to help pick up the slack for me a bit. Or just to have him to talk to about all the things I’m thinking about as labour approaches…whatever, you know? I’m sick of these 12 or more hour shifts that he does each day, which make him so exhausted and pointless to be around by the time he’s home. Then I start to wonder, why do I even bother looking forward to him getting home when he’s never home when he says he will be? I’m tired of fending for myself right now.

Normally I’m not like this and I cope well and do things on my own and am fine with that. I guess I am just in a state now where I’m extra needy and it’s James I’m needy for. So sue me. I’m starting into the last month of pregnancy in 2 days. Is it too much to ask that my husband come home and eat dinner with me?

Oh well. Woe is me I guess. I’ll go soak in a tub. Drown my sorrows, if you will.

Sunday, November 16, 2008

Sunday night post

This morning we went for brunch with James’ brother, dad, and dad’s significant other. We went to Milestone’s. It was good, I just wish I could have suffered less from heartburn this morning! It has been worse than ever lately, even with 2 Zantac a day and many Tums, I can’t seem to shake it. That’s what you get for having a giant baby squishing your stomach aside, as well as every other organ in there!!

Just about at 35 full weeks…counting down the last 5 weeks now. Baby could choose to make his or her debut any time! Tho at my appt the other day, while baby is in a perfect position for delivery, his or her head isn’t engaged yet – which is a good sign that baby’s not quite ready to make an appearance yet. I’d like to make it to at least 37 weeks, since that’s considered full term (even though 40 weeks is truly full term). Then again, given I still have another 2 weeks left of work it’d be nice if baby waited till I had maybe a week off to just rest, get my cross stitch finished up, and prepare all the last minute stuff that I’m hoping to do!

The NOT KNOWING WHEN is killer!!!!!

Anyway…we had a nice breakfast and it was good spending a bit of time with James’ side of the fam. Afterwards we came home and I had a bit of a nap, made lunch, then we went over to my bro and s-i-l’s to visit with the baby bulldog. She hurt her eye the other day and has a white spot on her cornea, needs eye drops (though she squirms and makes it impossible for them to put them in!) and so I felt the need to see her and give her some fussings. We got her a cupcake doggy cookie and she enjoyed that, and seemed to have fun visiting with us. She really is a sweetheart, it’s impossible not to love her to bits.

My bro shocked us all and said he wanted to put some pictures up while we were there! He is the King of Procrastination…and for some reason especially when it comes to hanging art. They have tons of great pieces yet he could go years with having nothing on the walls, just ‘thinking’ about where to put stuff but never acting on it. It’s quite bizarre! So when he said let’s put up some pictures I nearly fell off the couch! I am the opposite of him – I think it was the day after we moved into each of our places we’ve lived in that I would say OK we’ve got to get stuff on the walls and have everything in its rightful place!!

After visiting there a while we came home and bummed around, didn’t do much. James made some delicious nachos with veggie ground round, green peppers, and plenty of cheese. I had to drink milk with it though, to stave off the heartburn…which sucks because drinking milk (calcium) is bad when you’re trying to get iron (which I could have got from the soy product). BUT I did take one of my liquid iron supplements today with OJ so hopefully that will have helped. I am trying to be really conscious about it because I WANT my iron stores to get better but it’s hard, especially with the heartburn and the constant need to pop Tums, which of course are a calcium supplement, only making it harder each time to absorb the iron…Argh!

Anyway…we watched some Corrie St online and I had a nice bubble bath – which baby seemed to enjoy (or not, who knows!) – lots of shifting from side to side! It’s so cute seeing baby bulging out of my belly. I hope to see the imprint of a hand or foot at some point, I keep looking but it hasn’t happened yet. Maybe when I’m a bit further along and baby is even more squished in there?!

I was getting a sore back and started feeling really frustrated so James told me to lean against him on the couch and we took some deep breaths together. Sounds kind of weird maybe but it was very helpful actually – having him breathing at the same time as me and resting my cheek against his, feeling him holding me. It was actually very calming. This is all good practice for when I go into labour, since we’ll be spending the first many hours of it at home alone together. I’m nervous about it since the contractions are going to be painful, but I am confident that James is going to be a wonderful support person for me. I love the little things he does to make sure I’m cared for. I think he’s quite concerned about making sure I’m comfortable during labour. After seeing the birth video in our prenatal class last week, he seems to have really thought about how I’ll be going through that and he doesn’t like the idea of me having to be in pain for so long. It’s inevitable – but at least I know he’s going to be really nurturing through it.

Anyway, so much to think about…but it’s late and I think I should try to get some sleep. I have lots of work to do tomorrow :S Just 10 more days of work though, the countdown begins!! Nov 28th is going to be a glorious day…

Saturday, November 15, 2008

Not a whole lot but it is what it is

Last night we watched a few episodes of Heroes that I downloaded. I don’t think we’re fully up to date on it, maybe a week behind. The script is so gawd awful. We’re only watching it because we want to know what happens…but every now and then James will hang his head in shame for watching it and we exchange ‘looks’ because we can’t believe how stupid the script can be…

Today I was super grumpy in the morning. It was not a very good scenario for me. I felt like I’d never feel better but eventually I did. We had a nap before James’ dad and partner came over for a short visit. They wanted to check out baby’s nursery and also give us our Xmas present since we won’t see them again till afterwards. We gave them their Xmas gifts last time we visited them in Victoria. Anyway, they got us one of those digital picture frames. It’s pretty cool, we are quite happy with it. We’ve already put some pics on it to try it out but I want to work on a proper slideshow. It’s going to come in handy once we have baby here since we’re of course going to be obsessive about taking pictures of him or her (well, at least I will be!)

Since they left we’ve just been lounging around. I’m pretty tired and haven’t been up to much, and James had a bit of a headache today so it was a bit of a lay-low day. His bro and possibly bro’s gfriend are coming over in a while though so I’d better get my act together…

Nothing too exciting to report but that’s where I’m at.

Friday, November 14, 2008

Right where we should be

I FINALLY finished a really long, drawn out boring work project. It feels good to be done that – and to know I won’t be doing another huge one like it for a long time, if ever!!! I still have 3 projects on the go that have to be completed before I am finished on the 28th but at least I’m seeing some progress and have one out of the way.

Baby is pressing into my right ribcage constantly at the moment. I keep feeling these jabs that make me jump!

I have an appt with my midwife in a little while. It’ll be good to discuss things, talk about the prenatal classes, and hear what she has to say about this and that. I’ve been feeling pretty good lately so I don’t think I have any real concerns to discuss, but it helps just to check in.


I’m sooooooooo happy it’s Friday. Yay for the weekend! We’ve got a few plans with some of James’ family, which is good, but I also hope to get a lot of relaxation time in. I want to sleep in tomorrow!! And work on my cross stitch.

Update: I have since been to my midwife appt. All is well. My iron level is still a bit low but she didn’t seem too concerned about it. Very slightly low, the same level it was when I had it checked last. I had hoped to hear it was at least a bit better but oh well…I’m going to start taking a liquid iron supplement called spatone, and see if that helps. I don’t know that I’ll take it every day since the 3 times I’ve taken it before it made me feel a bit strange but I’ll try for every second day or something like that. And just continue to do my best to eat the right food combinations. It’s hard sometimes because I crave certain things but other things just seem disgusting to me, even things I’d normally like. But I’ll do the best I can! I want to boost it up before I go into labour since I’ll be losing a fair bit of blood then, and if my iron is low going into it I might have a longer recovery time, which I obviously don’t want.

But beyond that all was well. Baby had a really strong and loud heart beat! And he or she is in head down position and in fact is in a perfect position all around. His or her back is on my left side, with bum way up. Apparently a lot of babies like to stick to the left side most often, but she said it’s likely baby will move back and forth a bit between left and right. He or she has definitely been doing that, as I sometimes see my belly push out on one side then the other! But baby prefers to be to the left. So I feel good that baby is in a good position for labour, will most likely stay that way, and all the movements are normal.

After the appt I went and got a few groceries. I felt like I was struggling a bit carrying the stuff home, even though it wasn’t all that much. I had to walk so slow. Though I guess even with slightly low iron, that would account for my lack of energy – beyond the normal end of pregnancy tiredness of course.

I’ve made a homemade pizza for our supper tonight – veggie pepperoni with mushrooms, green peppers, 3 cheeses. Should be yummy!

I can’t wait till James gets home so we can start the weekend together.

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Yesterday

I’m not doing the whole blog-every-day-in-November thing because I feel I blog fairly regularly as it is – sometimes more than once a day! I don’t know what will happen to my blog once baby arrives though…I can’t see myself really have much (if any) time for it. Especially since I want to start a more private ‘baby blog’ to post pictures and videos and things for my family. That will take priority and lets face it, how much more time will there be in the day for such things?! We’ll see how it goes…it’s not like I can’t still post something once in a while but I doubt it will be a regular thing, at least until I get into a new routine.

I’m liking the regularity of posts of certain people in my blog roll though!!! I will say that much =D

So yesterday ended up being a really off day for me. I did manage to do a fair bit but I felt completely exhausted ALL day long. It was horrible. I got up, got some work done, then met up with my parents as they were checking out of the hotel. We went to Milestone’s at English Bay for lunch before heading to South Granville for some shopping. Went to Restoration Hardware and Pottery Barn. Expensive stores – the only thing I bought was a room spray from PB and it was rather pricey for what it is but I know it lasts super long and this particular scent smells SO GOOD (paperwhite it’s called) so I decided to spring for it. I think it will help if and when smoke smell wafts in here from our neighbours’ bad habit…Although hopefully that won’t be an issue, right??!

I had to sit down while my parents looked around, especially at RH since we spent more time in there. I also had to use the washroom. I was feeling huge and tired and could barely muster enough energy to look at their fun Christmas section.

From there we drove to Southlands Nursery, which my parents love (especially my dad). It started to rain though so our trip there was short lived. We drove to Commercial Drive and went to a bakery and to Wonderbucks, where I usually like to shop at least a little since it’s so cheap but I saw nothing I needed or wanted to buy for anyone. So we came back to the apartment, where I made us tea and coffee and put some snacks out. I couldn’t even help my parents take the stuff down to the car when it came time for them to load up for their trip home (and I ALWAYS help with that sort of thing)…and then my parents went to the grocery store for me to pick up a few essential items because there was no way I could do it, so while they were out taking care of business for me I soaked in a nice bubble bath.

Unfortunately I couldn’t just lounge and sleep last night as I wished I could have. James and I had our second prenatal class to go to. My parents dropped us off before heading to the ferry. I forced myself not to cry but I was feeling really emotional about their leaving, since most likely my dad won’t be back till baby is born and my mom will just be coming over for day trips here and there.

Our class was good, even though I was so tired I managed to stay alert for it! We talked about the different stages of labour again and when you’re supposed to go to the hospital, etc. Then we watched a birthing video where the woman went completely natural – no drugs whatsoever. Then we discussed said birthing video and from there discussed the various drugs you can use. None of them appeal to me whatsoever. Some there is no way I would use them…no way at all. And I would only get an epidural if my midwife strongly suggested it for whatever reason, but I would much prefer to go without. I am going to do my best to go completely natural and only take something if I absolutely cannot stand another minute without. We’ll see how it goes, I mean it really depends on the situation and currently I have no idea how it’s going to feel so I can’t really say. At least James and I are on the same page about it. If I need medication there’s no need to feel bad about it, but if I can go without it’s going to be better for me and especially for baby, so it’s the best thing to try.

I find it interesting the different opinions and feelings though, in hearing what other women want. A lot seem to say that as soon as there is any real amount of pain they want the drugs that will numb them, which essentially is an epidural since none of the other drugs really do a whole lot other than make you sleepy (which I don’t see how that can help you in labouring) or slightly high feeling (which I don’t see helping ME since it would probably just make me feel paranoid and out of it, and I want to remember giving birth to my baby!) There is one woman in particular who’s due just a few days after me and all she talks about is the epidural. When can I get it, how soon? It’s almost as if she wants to get it NOW in preparation for what’s to come in 6 weeks time!! She was crying after the video because she couldn’t stand watching the pain aspect of birthing. It’s a bit frightening – I think she needs to really work through her fears before the baby’s due or she’s really going to be in for a difficult labour. No matter what, there is going to be pain involved – that really can’t be avoided!

I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t still nervous about labour – since I don’t know what to expect and since I know there will be a lot of pain, it’s not a pleasant thing to know I have to go through it! But I am feeling somewhat more confident I think than I was before. I figure as hard as it’s going to be, sometimes the best things in life aren’t easy to get, you know? You have to work hard for them! And if it means at the end of it all I get to hold my baby in my arms and have them in my life forever, I’m willing to put up with some hours of torture! Also, I figure my body was pretty much made for this ability. I was able to get pregnant easily, which tells me my body is in a state of feeling equipped for this. I’m healthy, young – there shouldn’t be complications. If my body is telling me it can do this, then it should be able to. So while, no, it’s not going to be entirely comfortable, it is what it is. I CAN DO THIS!! If I keep telling myself that, maybe it will seem slightly easier to get through…

After discussing drugs we went on to do breathing exercises, talked about birthing positions, that sort of thing. It’s hard to do the breathing while ‘pretending’ to have a contraction since I don’t even really know what a contraction feels like but I know it’s good to get into the habit of practicing breathing properly.

Anyway, it was a good class. I found this week’s instructor very informative, especially since she has 4 children of her own, so I felt she could really speak from her own experience.

After the class we were walking home and James suggested we go somewhere to have a snack and something to drink, if I was up for it. It was quite the treat – we ended up going to Salathai on a whim. Just for spring rolls and soup, so it’s not like we were going all out with a full on meal! It was, after all, about 9:30pm by the time we got there! It was nice though. James had a bit of a stomach ache yesterday though so he ended up not eating a whole lot – so I swooped in and ate pretty much everything. It was a bit ridiculous. I didn’t need to eat quite as much as I did but it wasn’t the kind of thing we wanted to bring home with us so if we didn’t eat it it would get wasted and I didn’t want that to happen! LOL I have to coast every now and then when I’m eating since my stomach is so squished now and I get heartburn even easier than ever, which for me is bad given I get it even at the best of times! But I got through the food and quite enjoyed it =)

We walked home and shortly after we went to bed. I was zonked. I usually have a really difficult time falling asleep, especially if I go to bed early, and it was probably only about 11:30ish when we went to bed, which for me is extremely early. But I would say I was out by midnight – only a half hour to fall asleep for me is quite amazing! I had to get up through the night to go to the bathroom, and to shut the windows because it was VERY windy last night (and in fact still is) but otherwise I slept relatively ok. I am definitely having a nap today though, it’s been too long since I took an afternoon nap!

But for now, there’s work to do…

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Day's recap

Today (yesterday now) my parents came over and my dad did some stuff around our apartment for us. We now have a dimmer switch in the nursery so the light can be kept at just a low glow if need be for baby…We have the curtain up for the nursery (which we’re using instead of a door since it’s such a tiny room), a basket thingy attached to the wall in there for storing stuff…My dad fixed the hamper we got for baby’s room, and he shampooed the carpets which has made an AMAZING difference in the cleanliness of our place. I can’t believe how new the carpet looks. I know it won’t last just due to the nature of the type of carpet and the cats (luckily there was no stain from it but one of the cats even left a few poo pellets on the carpet in protest once they were all clean – gotta love them!) but at least for the time being it is looking a lot better than it was. Even our old rugs are looking like new again. I’m so happy – and grateful to my dad for everything he’s done for us! He is a true handyman and does things so quickly and makes it all look so easy!

While James stayed home and napped (he got a lot of rest this long weekend, which I think has been good for him), my parents and I went to the village section of Park Royal. Went through Home Sense, which was INSANE with annoying shoppers…Made me glad I am basically done Xmas shopping because I cannot deal with the mad scene of crazy shoppers. Especially being pregnant…I find it so rude when people cut me off and actually hit into my belly with their cart – which isn’t nice for me OR for baby, and they don’t even apologize but rather look at ME like I’m just in their way and that’s that. What is WRONG with people?!

Anyway…then we went to Motherhood Maternity and I got a few pairs of pajamas that will work for nursing once baby has arrived. I am wearing a pair of them right now and it feels so good to have actual pregnancy pj’s. All my nightgowns were getting so short and riding up in the front as my belly continues to grow, so nothing felt like it was fitting. These will see me through the rest of the pregnancy and I’ll be able to wear them afterwards too. One of them came with a cute little matching onesie for baby! Aww!

Then we went to Brown’s for an early supper. It was good – but I had pop, which I rarely ever do, and afterwards baby was rolling all over the place! And got the hiccups, of course…everything seems to give baby the hiccups =P

We went to Chapters after that, then my parents dropped me off at home and went back to the hotel. I met up with them there a little later and James did too – we hung out at the lounge for a few hours and chatted. Shared some dessert. It was nice. It’s sad to think it was the last night we’ll be spending like that for a long time. After my parents leave tomorrow, my mom plans to come over here and there to see me before baby arrives but my dad likely won’t get the chance to come over again till baby is here :S

Anyway, then James and I came home and since we got drenched in the rain getting here, I got in the bath right away. Only to discover while undressing that my belly button IS going to pop after all! I’d say within the next week if things keep going as they are...I was shocked, as this morning I didn’t notice it seeming any closer than before. I had a verrry deep belly button and was sure it would never get to the popping stage just because it was so far in. But it’s just about gone now. I was feeling super heavy tonight and I could just sense a growth spurt happening in baby, and I guess that feeling was accurate because I’m definitely bigger! Just like that, baby grows!! He or she has been rolling and shifting and getting comfy all night…Has been making me a bit uncomfy in the process but nothing too painful, just some jabs here and there =)

I have to get to bed now, almost 1am and so much to do tomorrow. Back to work, plus going out with my parents in the afternoon. I just spent a few hours working so I can take off early tomorrow. It’s our last day together for a little while so I want to make the most of it.

Monday, November 10, 2008

Sometimes it's nice to switch things up a bit

Yesterday my parents arrived and are here for another couple of days. Not staying with us, but nearby. Today James and I both took a vacation day, and while I went to IKEA with my parents, James went to the spa for a body massage (an early Christmas present from moi, because I thought it would be nice for him to have some real relaxation time before baby arrives and life gets more hectic). James enjoyed his massage, and I had a fantastic time shopping at one of my favourite stores!

I got the wardrobe/shelf thingy to match our other one. James put it together for me and it fits PERFECTLY beside the TV unit. Now I just need to organize what’s going in there. It’s going to help SO MUCH storage wise. I also got the tray I wanted for baby’s room, which we’ll put together tomorrow. Everything else was smaller stuff – a new kitchen rug, a new rug for the front door area, some funky new glasses and placemats, some toys for baby and a few other odds and ends. Pictures to come – once I’ve got everything set up!

After our outing my parents and I went out for drinks (well, a virgin cocktail for me, and later some Earl Grey tea), then James met up with us to go for dinner. We taxi’d to the Macaroni Grill on Davie only to discover it’s gone…We were not happy. We ended up at Café Luxy up the street, which ended up being good but I’m sad that the Mac Grill is no longer. It’s going to be a Keg restaurant next year after renovations, and you all know how that makes me feel! Grrr…

We had a nice time out though. I’m happy to be spending some quality time with my parents over the next few days as it’s possible the next time we all get together baby will have arrived, so this time together is really important to me.

Tomorrow my dad is going to do some ‘handyman’ chores around our apartment, such as putting a dimmer switch in the nursery, hanging a curtain for me, and he’s even going to shampoo our carpets! All things we COULD do ourselves but really appreciate getting the help with. I can’t wait to have the carpets cleaned - I hate cheap apartment carpets. Everything here is SO nice and fresh and new seeming but the carpet will not stay clean. Especially given how often Fifi throws up – I am going to be so mad when she re-stains it all after my dad cleans it!

I’m happy to have a few new items to change things up a bit in our apartment. Some of our rugs were looking pretty pathetic and needed replacing for a while. I was happy to find things at decent prices. And the nesting continues!

My laptop battery is about to die and I’m too tired to plug it in for charging so it’s time to say goodnight. I’m looking forward to tomorrow, not too many plans but I expect it will be a good time.

Baby is at 34 full weeks tomorrow!! Just 6 more weeks to go =)

Sunday, November 09, 2008

Please let me sleep!

It’s almost 2am, I am EXHAUSTED but do you think I could fall asleep? Nope. I went to bed at a decent time and tossed and turned for an hour and a half, then had to pee, then had heartburn and needed Tums, then said screw it and here I am. Up when I should be sawing logs like normal people who are tired and go to bed with the intention of sleep.

I’m my own worst enemy. Part of it is out of my control – the sore lower back, the baby kicks and punches, the inability to find a comfortable sleep position. But I also allow my mind to race…It seems uncontrollable but I probably could work harder to shut it off. I just can’t stop thinking about baby, about how soon I’ll be giving birth, about all sorts of things. I.just.can’t.stop.thinking.!

Today (yesterday, technically) one of my cousins was in an Irish dance competition so we went and watched her perform. My uncle and his partner, my grandma, my aunt and one of my other cousins were all there. I hadn’t seen my aunt in such a long time…James hadn’t even met her! Which I could not quite believe given we’ve been together for 10 years just about. I’d seen her in that time period but not many times and not for a few years now. Anyway, it was nice to see everyone. My cousin did a great job with the dancing, but I found the whole competition a bit strange. The girls were all done up like weird American Beauty Queen types, with bizarrely curly wigs, make-up and over-the-top little dresses that apparently cost into the thousands. There is this whole world out there that I’m completely oblivious to, obviously.

We had a nice lunch out with my uncle/partner/granny, and then brought them over to our place for a visit. It was nice given how infrequently we ever get together.

When they left James went and had a nap while I went out and got a few groceries. I wish we lived closer to a produce store.

Tonight I worked on my cross stitch and half watched a few Star Trek NG episodes with James. Basically the idea was to just sort of veg and hang out, not really do much. Oh, except for put together baby’s bassinet, which James did. It’s a bit cumbersome looking but also very cute, I think baby will find it very cozy in there beside our bed =)

I made a yummy pizza dip for our supper, I’ll post the recipe as soon as I’ve uploaded the picture I took of it =) It’s so easy to make and sooo tasty and not entirely unhealthy…

I’m so freaking tired, WHY CAN’T I SLEEP?????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I’m going to go try again.



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