Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Pregnancy Questionnaire II

A friend from high school just gave birth to a beautiful baby girl through the night last night. I’m so excited for her and her husband! Baby came a week late so they were really getting anxious for her arrival. I just feel thrilled to bits! Makes me even more excited for our own baby’s arrival.

Just 12 more weeks to go and our little one will be here!! I’m hoping we don’t go a week past our due date though…I’m soooo hoping for a little early. So maybe between 10 and 11 weeks to go?! I don’t want baby to be TOO premature but a week or two before Christmas would be nice, rather than risking delivery right on Xmas day! If it happens, it happens but…it would be so sweet for baby to have his or her ‘first Christmas’ at just a few days old =)

Now to do the questionnaire again that I did at 20 weeks…I would say most answers have changed!

How far along? 28 weeks exactly.

Total weight gain/loss: I can’t say 100% how much I’ve gained since I don’t know my pre-pregnancy weight, but I would say I’ve gained about 20 pounds so far. I imagine I will gain a total of about 30 pounds before delivery, though it’s just a guess. It freaks me out somewhat but on the other hand, it’s completely normal and it would probably be more of a worry if I wasn’t gaining at all. I will do my best once baby is here to shed the weight back off! In the meantime, I’m preggers, so it’s all good…

Maternity clothes? Is there anything else?! I tried putting on a t-shirt I wore before pregnancy but it was NOT comfortable. Plus, with the belly, everything rides up in the front if it’s not designed to cover it. I love my maternity clothes though, I’ve got some great pieces and soooo comfortable. Although lately, when I’m at home, I prefer to just schlep around in my nightgown…

Stretch marks? No…I still expect them to come near the end of pregnancy but so far nothing. I do have a patch of spider veins showing on my left side though, and I don’t imagine they’ll ever go away, but oh well, what can ya do?!

Sleep: What’s that? And yes, I know it’s only going to get worse. I do better having an afternoon nap, I tend to get good rest for about an hour or two. But at night it’s nearly impossible for me to get to sleep so I haven’t been catching as many zzz’s as I would like.

Best moment this week: Resting James’ hand on my belly and him feeling a series of kicks and movements. I love being able to share them with him!

Have you told family and friends? Haha, if I hadn’t, I think they’d probably be able to guess…

Movement: Every day – I would worry if I didn’t feel movements throughout the day. Baby has been a little bit quieter yesterday and today so far (though I’ve still felt plenty) but generally baby likes to play in the morning, here and there throughout the afternoon, and stays up late at night!

Food cravings: Really, not a whole lot. I still crave sweets maybe more than I should…I don’t always indulge but I do like sweets! I do have cravings but nothing bizarre, just normal things that anyone could crave, really. I don’t have anything specific in mind at the moment.

Anything making you queasy or sick: I’m down to 2 Diclectin per day, with no sickness. Yay!! I’m afraid to wean myself further, although I’ll have to as time marches on since I obviously can’t take the pills once baby is here. But the pills do help – I haven’t thrown up for probably about 3 weeks, and the last time I was sick it was just once so really, not so bad.

Have you started to show yet: This must have been written for those at the beginning of pregnancy! Yes, my uterus is about the size of a basketball so I’m definitely showing!

Leakage: At 20 weeks I was afraid to even fathom what that meant. Yes, I have now experienced leakage, I think it first happened about 3 weeks ago or so. It comes from the nipples and is called Colostrum. It’s basically a liquid that is rich in immune factors, and something baby will eat during its first few feedings. It’s just tiny droplets that ‘leak’ out from time to time, but I do notice it. It’s a strange feeling but you get used to it! It will happen any time too, there’s no rhyme nor reason for it. Well I guess there is a reason: my body is preparing to feed baby!

Gender prediction: Everyone who HAS made a prediction has said girl, but I still don’t know myself. Could go either way!

Labor Signs: Nope, baby is content to be in mama’s tummy a while longer yet =)

Belly Button in or out? It’s still in but it’s getting much closer to popping now. I had the innest inny you could find so it’s taking a while to creep its way out but it’s going to pop, it’s just a matter of time now!

Wedding rings on or off? Still on, I have been so lucky. I haven’t had any swelling whatsoever, not in my hands, feet, face – I feel very fortunate!

Happy or Moody most of the time? Happy. I get the occasional bout of the blahs but for the most part, I feel great. The aches and pains get to me at times – and the fact that there seems to be less and less I can do each week with my growing gut…I took for granted how easily I could manoeuvre myself around before! But in terms of my actual moods, I’d say pretty positive for the most part.

Weekly Wisdom: Look after yourself and don’t push yourself past your limits – you need to store and save energy for labour, even if it does still seem far off. So just do what you can and let other people pick up the slack! Trust me, doing TOO much actually causes a set back and you’ll be more tired than you already thought you were. It’s not worth it!

Milestones: We are very close to the 30 week mark. I’m hoping baby stays put for a few more months since obviously further development is healthiest before birth. BUT it feels like a milestone knowing that if baby had to be born right now, he or she would have an amazing chance for survival already. It eases my mind a bit to know how strong baby already is!

Sunday, September 28, 2008

Meet Marley!

Marley is the newest addition to our family. He is a macaw parrot who enjoys holding full length conversations. He coos when you pet his back, and gives you a kiss when you rub his beak. He likes to eat crackers and asks to be fed on a regular basis.

We hadn't intended on adopting an animal right before having a baby, but as soon as we met Marley we fell in love. He's a sweetheart, and even gets along famously with our cats - which is a real bonus!Marley is one of a kind in our eyes...though he could be yours as well! For just $49.99 at Toys R Us, he's a steal! ;)

Some pregnancy humour...

As you can see from the image above, baby doesn't have as much space in there as he or she once did to move around! Still, baby does seem to move about...but it's no wonder I see my belly poking out when it happens. I'm getting punched and kicked a lot these days, and when I woke up this morning I think baby might have had the hiccups. He or she is about 35 centimetres long now and weighs over 2 pounds. Baby's getting BIG! And so is Mommy, but that's another story...

Here's a little pregnancy humour I found while searching the web:

I especially love these ones...Of course I'd kindly ask for a seat on the bus - which I've had to do numerous times now. But really, when you're fairly largely pregnant one would think you wouldn't HAVE to ask, that someone would be kind enough to give up their seat before you'd have to...So I can identify with the second image here (lol)

Saturday, September 27, 2008

and so we run

I have this horrible nagging feeling but I can’t put my finger on what’s causing it. I don’t actually have anything to feel depressed about, yet I am feeling kind of down in the dumps. Not all the time – most of the day I’ll feel just fine. But in the evenings, the past 2 nights anyway, I’ve really been feeling rather blah.

I attributed it at first to maybe the transition of leaving Nanaimo after being there almost 2 weeks and returning to my Vancouver home. I always feel a bit torn when I leave my parents, even though there are obviously reasons I want to be back in Vancouver, most importantly to be with James…I guess I just sometimes wish we (me and my parents) didn’t have the ocean’s distance separating us because then it wouldn’t be an issue as to when I’d next get to visit my family.

That’s why I figured I had that nagging feeling last night – because I’d just got back and hadn’t adjusted to my new routine yet. But I had it again tonight, so what gives?

We went out to a place in Gastown with James’ work cronies tonight and I had a good time while we were out. It was an interesting group of people, a few of which I was just meeting for the first time. The venue we chose was disappointing – verrrrry uncomfortable seating for a pregnant woman, and for everyone else for that matter! And the food wasn’t the greatest…it was VERY noisy in there. But we still had a good time hanging out. James and I walked home after and it was very mild out – actually I was sweating quite a bit but that was probably hormonal more than the actual weather. It was nice though, no rain which made me happy! And I tend to enjoy a night time stroll with James. It was good to move around after sitting so uncomfortably for a few hours. When we got home we watched a show and I was feeling okay and then I just sighed deeply and realized I really wasn’t ok at all.

I just can’t pinpoint what it is. Maybe it’s just hormones and because they’re all wonky and ragey I can’t help but go through a spurt of unhappiness here and there. I really haven’t had many mood swings at all through the pregnancy, nothing more than what I would be like at my ‘normal’. So maybe it’s at this stage, rather than early on, that I am feeling a hint of the moodiness so often associated with pregnancy? I really can’t be sure. But I guess that seems the most likely scenario, given that I really don’t have anything in particular to be so sad about.

I feel like I could cry at the drop of a hat. Even last night when I was on the bus heading home from the ferry, I started thinking random sentimental thoughts out of nowhere and had to refrain from letting any tears fall. I didn’t cry but I felt like I could have so easily. A few times at home I have just started crying – not a lot but even just a few tears and I feel as though I’m hurting inside when I really shouldn’t be. The feeling passes and I move on but its been looming lately…

I am really very happy in so many ways, in most ways. I’m excited and anxious (anxious in a good way!) for baby’s arrival and in the meantime, I do love being pregnant because it just feels so magical and amazing and important. I love loving my baby already and I feel great about starting a family with James, I really do believe we’re ready for it. I really shouldn’t have to worry about much else…although I guess that’s easier said than done – given I am the type to worry about a lot of things. I worry a lot about the state of the world and the people who could and will affect my baby’s life and not necessarily for the better…Although I do realize that as wonderful as I expect my baby’s life with be, life is filled with both ups and downs and I can’t really shelter them completely from the bad – and I’d be doing them a disservice if I did. Still, I can’t help but have some worries…

I think life is sometimes very overwhelming, or at the very least seems it…and maybe I am concerned about how that fact will affect me when it’s not just me I have to be concerned for, but my baby. In fact, I am already experiencing that a bit – I am a protective mama bear already and would do anything for my baby and feel I have to protect myself a lot more in order to be able to protect my child…If anything, though, really, this is probably a fairly positive thing because it gives me a sense of purpose that I didn’t have in the same way before. A sense of urgency to do the right thing. Whatever that may be…

Anyway, I am just rambling on, trying to collect my thoughts as I go along. Wishing I was asleep but instead I am awake thinking about everything and yet nothing. Maybe some things never change!

At any rate, I need something to look forward to. And I don’t mean in just less than 3 months time since obviously I DO have BABY to look forward to (!!!), but I need something to look forward to tomorrow or Sunday – something for the weekend to keep me feeling cheery. I just haven’t figured out yet what it should be…

Tomorrow we’re going to do a bit more organization in the nursery, and the nesting will probably help ease my sorrows a bit. I feel ridiculous even saying that, I SHOULD NOT HAVE SORROWS! I really just want to focus on my happiness, not let any doom or gloom get me down. Why do I let things affect me so much?! I wish sometimes that I could be one of those people who is unphased by just about everything. But then I guess I wouldn’t be myself at all if I was like that.

Probably I’m just overtired from being pregnant and that’s what’s causing all of this unease. The past few days I’ve been experiencing a baby growth spurt and I think my uterus stretching is getting to me a bit, since it can be fairly uncomfortable at times. My back is aching off and on, and the aching goes right down into my rear end muscles at times, which makes finding a comfortable seat impossible! I get gassy and that makes my belly even more uncomfortable…I have to pee every 5 seconds and when I walk anywhere, even if I literally JUST peed I feel as though I need to go the whole time I’m walking, as if I have a full bladder even though it’s empty, just because of the way baby rests on it. All these factors and more make me very tired yet often unable to get a good rest, so I’m sure my moodiness is in part due to being tired and needing to let my body just do its thing so baby can grow – yet still needing to do all the usual everyday things like work and chores and errands but without the gumption to really get it all done. It’s a tiresome job carrying a baby, but also so rewarding I know – and I wouldn’t change where I’m at for the world! I know I’m biased but I have this strong sense that this particular baby was given to us for a reason…I am not the least bit religious yet I just feel like THIS baby was meant to be and is so precious to me…I have to just focus on that and remember why my body is killing me – it’s for a very good purpose! Eventually all the aches and pains will go away and I’ll have my little bundle of joy to love and cuddle. I so look forward to that! I feel like crying just thinking about it. Here we go again! Although I’m talking about tears of joy here, so it’s all good =P

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

27 weeks

Not having cable at home, I’m not accustomed to being bombarded with commercial after commercial every 2 minutes. When I’m by myself at my parents’ house, as I’ve been for the past week and a half, I sometimes put the TV on just to have the noise in the background – makes me feel a little less alone. But I’m more than ready to shut the damn thing off and be done with it. I’m so sick of all the commercials, but most especially the fact that the same commercials are played over and over and over, and yes, you guessed it OVER again. I am so sick of the same songs and stupid punch lines. How do people manage to watch TV on a regular basis without feeling compelled to smash the screen or throw the whole unit out the window?

Not to mention the pathetic lack-of-quality shows that are on these days. I don’t understand how cable can be so damned expensive when there’s really nothing much of value on EVER.

Oh well, my cross stitch has been keeping me very busy! I feel so domesticated =) Actually, I’ve really been enjoying it. It’s a form of nesting, I suppose, and a form of art, really. Not that I came up with the design but it really is fun to see the colours coming together to form the pattern someone else created! I’m enjoying it, at any rate.

My parents are coming home tomorrow so my dog and house sitting duties are drawing to a close. I’m a bit relieved, though it hasn’t been so bad being here. I lived here for 10 years of my life so it’s not like it doesn’t feel like home! It’s relaxing and quiet and home to me. I’ve just missed James a lot, and our kitty cats, and my usual routine. Even though the dogs are very old and the world ‘senile’ comes to mind, with one in particular anyway…I still enjoyed spending some time with them. Aside from Thanksgiving, I won’t be travelling here a whole lot more as I become more pregnant and closer to my due date, since I really do want to deliver baby in Vancouver – and especially with James there beside me. So it’s good to get some quality time in now, while I’m able to.

It’s strange thinking about all the ways my life is going to change once baby is here. I probably can’t even imagine each and every way – I just have my own interpretation of what it’s going to be like and it will probably be a lot more than that. But I would think it’s going to change pretty completely. It’s great, it’s a change I’m ready to take on, but it’s going to be an adjustment for sure. So many things to think about and try to get my head around in the next few months…Maybe I’m feeling slightly overwhelmed, though mostly I’m just doing what I can to go with the flow.

I’ve been going to bed so late these days with working on the quilt, I really need to catch up on some zzz’s. I think I will go to bed now – it’s a bit sad when 12:30am feels like I’m going to bed early!

OH! How could I forget – the new David Usher album came out today – by fluke I heard about it so of course rushed out and bought a copy right away. It’s excellent, as all his work is. I love David Usher. At this point in time, he is my #1 favourite musician. Matthew Good’s voice is tops on my list, but there’s something about David Usher that puts him in the top spot for me these days. If you’re a fan, you’ve got to get his latest CD – it does not disappoint!

Monday, September 22, 2008

Life is good

Its been a long day. Getting together with someone who has a toxic personality is never easy. I just don’t understand why a person who’s got a great life with minimal stress, is really quite healthy and has everything going for her would enjoy so much to dwell on misery. Why do some people thrive on negativity? Hearing stories about ancient history in our lives that is better left in the past can be trying at the best of times. Talking about mindless crap that serves no other purpose than to feel bad just feels like a waste. While pregnant I find it even harder to take. I need to focus on good things, on being positive and happy. I hate it when a person tries to bring me down with them, even if it’s sub-conscious. This particular person means well, it’s just who she is. But that doesn’t make it any easier to accept.

I did some cleaning this afternoon. Nothing too strenuous – vacuuming and mopping the floor pretty much did me in so I didn’t want to over do it. Baby makes me tired easily. But it was starting to smell a bit doggy in here, given the 2 resident spaniels. I’ve got everything smelling clean and fresh now though – I washed their bedding, tidied up and sprayed some wonderful scents around the house. It’s amazing what a bit of clean up can do to brighten one’s mood. I will say, though, that I’m happy to live in a relatively small apartment and not a big 4 bedroom house the majority of the time. As much as we do need more space than what we have, it’s so much easier to upkeep a small place!

I had vegetarian chilli and garlic bread for supper tonight – thanks to my mom for making and freezing the chilli for me before she and my dad went on their vacation! It was so good and felt really healthy. Baby kicked up a storm a few minutes into it, which makes me think he or she was noticing the bit of spice (though it was made mild so as to help me avoid getting heartburn from it – and so far so good, amazingly – given I have heartburn about 23 out of 24 hours a day most of the time…)

Things are going well. As of tomorrow, baby is at 27 full weeks. Time really does seem to be going a lot faster now. Only 13 weeks till baby is HERE! It seems surreal. I still can’t quite believe it! Even though in some ways it feels like I’ve been pregnant for a year already, in others it seems scary that I don’t have much longer to ‘prepare’ for baby’s arrival. Although I’d say we’re pretty well set and in fact, if baby came home tomorrow we’d have pretty much everything we need to take care of him or her! Still, it’s the psychological preparation…For the most part I’m ready big time because I’m so anxious to shower my baby with love. But omg…I’m about to be a MOM! It seems so crazy! But also so amazingly wonderful! Having a baby is a miracle, and the most incredible thing I will ever have done. Nothing has ever made me feel as happy and content as being pregnant and knowing I’m going to be having a baby with the love of my life. It’s hard to explain but it’s just such a wonderful time. I just keep thinking how this particular baby was/is meant to be and how special that is – how special each individual person is because they were brought here for their own reason. And I just feel thrilled to bits that we’re bringing this sweet little life into the world.

I’m just going to focus on that, on my own happiness and the well-being of baby. I have to let go of the depressive nature of people who feed off their own misery. Misery that isn’t even warranted. Completely unnecessary, in fact. I just don’t understand some people, but I guess it takes all kinds…and at least these people remind the rest of us of what we don’t want to end up like – so we can take measures to prevent ourselves from becoming one of those people that no one really wants to spend time with because they’re so depressing! Life is short, so why not focus on the enjoyable?

Saturday, September 20, 2008

Lazy Saturday

I love having time to relax over the weekend.

I woke up to the dogs whining at 9am – reminding me that they have their breakfast and Emma gets her pill (for doggy epilepsy) around that time. So I got up, fed them and made sure they’d done their business, then went back to bed. I got a really bad headache last night and it wasn’t gone so I thought it would be smart to try continuing to sleep it off.

I fell asleep much quicker than I normally seem to be able to. Maybe it’s because James was there in bed beside me (he got here last night) – it’s so much warmer and cosier when he’s there! I slept till almost 11:30 – the latest I’ve got up in a VERY long time. It felt great to get the amount of sleep my body needed, rather than forcing myself to stay up from an early hour because of work. My headache is pretty much gone now too.

When I woke up, I touched my belly and felt a really hard spot on my right side (near my belly button). As soon as I touched it, baby started pounding at me! I don’t know what I touched but he or she must have felt the need to fight back! It was amazing, my belly was poking in and out really fast for I would say about 10 punches =)

I got up and had a bowl of cereal with half a banana while I waited for the kettle to boil for tea. Since then I’ve been relaxing, sipping tea, and chatting with James since he got up. He had a sore tummy through the night (we’re a right pair!) and had even more of a lie-in than I did.

We have a few things planned for the day but nothing that’s forcing us out of our pyjamas too early! It’s so nice to just lounge around and not worry about things that need to get done. We only have so much more time to just be selfish and lazy so we have to take advantage while we can!

Maybe I’ll work on my cross stitch for a while. James was impressed with how far I got with it this past week! I’m starting on the middle (main) portion of it now so it’s going to be exciting to see it all come together.

Friday, September 19, 2008

300th post

I am officially in my third trimester, now that baby is in his or her 27th week of development. WOW! I can’t believe I’ve made it this far – its felt like forever, I’m so happy time is ticking on.

Baby is now perfectly formed, but growing in leaps and bounds! This week, baby is developing his or her retinas so their eyes can receive light and translate images – not that there’s a whole lot to see in the uterus! At almost 15 inches long, baby weighs over 2 pounds now!

Today I had to go for a glucose test. Well, I didn’t have to, but I chose to. Basically the purpose is to make sure I haven’t developed gestational diabetes, which can lead to a high birth weight baby, which can cause some complications during labour and possibly later on. I highly doubt I will find out I have it, since I don’t have any symptoms. But I figured just to be on the safe side, I may as well take the test.

After drinking a very sweet tasting orange pop type drink, I had to sit at the lab for an hour and wait, after which time I had some blood drawn. They were also checking my haemoglobin levels again – which at the beginning of pregnancy were at a great level, so we’ll see how I’m doing some months later. I’ll find out the results at my next midwife appointment, in early October.

While sitting there for an hour, I got through a chunk of the book I’m currently reading, titled Raising Vegetarian Children. I haven’t been reading as much lately as I’d like to because I’m so focused on my cross stitch quilt project for baby. It’s actually going really well, and while it’s still going to pose some challenges I’m sure, it hasn’t been nearly as difficult as I thought it would be. It’s very time consuming though – I have been staying up fairly late working on it and maybe not getting quite as much sleep as I could use in order to work on it for a few hours each day. It’s a slow process just because of the intricate design – and I want to do the best job I can so I can’t rush through. It’s fun though, I find it relaxing and I feel a sense of accomplishment as I see all the colours coming together. I’m glad I chose this particular project for baby!

Tomorrow James is heading over to spend the weekend with me. So far the week has gone by fairly quickly but I’m looking forward to the weekend and having my hubby here to spend time with. Hopefully it doesn’t rain the whole weekend, although if it does it wouldn’t hurt to rent some movies and cozy up on the couch. I’ve been feeling really tired lately, so a quiet relaxing weekend sounds good to me!

Sunday, September 14, 2008

Quilt crazy

I’m on my own for 5 days now. It makes me feel a little lonely thinking about it, but I have a lot to do to keep me busy. I have work, of course, but I’ve also got some projects on the go. The main thing I need to get working on is the quilt that I am making for baby. It’s going to be a major challenge for me…It’s a cross stitch quilt with a fair bit of detail – especially for someone who’s never done cross stitch in her life!

My mom is great at sewing and can do various types of needlework etc, so naturally before I was born she made me all sorts of things (blankets, pillows, even wall hangings) that I enjoyed as a child and have held onto for their sentimental value. I wanted to be able to do the same thing for my baby. The hitch? I can’t sew, don’t have a sewing machine, and haven’t done any sort of needlework to speak of! So what to do?!

James and I went to the craft store last weekend to see what we could find that I might be able to do. We both loved the pattern of this particular quilt and I decided I would put my patience to the test and do my best to work through it. I was able to get a bib project on sale for just a few dollars to work on for practice. I made a few mistakes but I’m glad I did it on the bib that really didn’t matter, as opposed to the quilt. My mom gave me a few pointers and now I think I’m on my way to making something cute for baby!

This is what the end result is meant to look like…we will see how close my version gets to this image! =)

I don’t know if I’ll be able to complete the project in time for baby’s arrival but if I get started right away I might be able to do it. I think it’ll be a good project for me to work on as the weather gets colder and my belly gets bigger. I’m going to be slowing down even more than I already have, so it’s something that will keep me busy and doing something that feels important, since it means a lot to me to make something for our little one.

Saturday, September 13, 2008

I need my baby sleep!

After a really long (3 hour) walk around the Stanley Park seawall a few days ago with my aunt, I was left completely wiped. Such a long walk hadn’t been planned – I was thinking we’d be out for a half hour or thereabouts, so I of course didn’t take any water with me and wasn’t wearing appropriate shoes (just my usual summer flip flops). Not a good idea. When not pregnant I think I could have handled it better, but with a 6 month belly I was really feeling it by the end. Especially in my back…ok, and also in my legs, feet, belly, you name it! I’m in decent shape, I do walk a fair bit in general, but I have to start paying more attention to my limitations.

I was zonked, but due to my large mid section I can no longer find comfortable sleeping positions. Ever. So I was like a zombie just sitting there, not able to do much of anything yet not able to sleep either. I do sleep, it just takes me a reeeally long time to fall asleep, and then I wake up about 30 times through the night trying to readjust my position (and fight of pesky leg cramps that creep up on me when I end up sleeping on my back – which is apparently not so good for circulation, hence the leg cramps).

The next day I had some traveling to do since I’m dog sitting for the next week and a bit. I’ve been feeling more tired than usual ever since – ever since the walk, the getting ready to leave for a while, the traveling even though it didn’t take super long, and just well, from being pregnant I guess. I’m not tired OF being pregnant, I just mean that baby’s sucking most of my energy from me! I’m doing well, just noticing a bit of an increase in fatigue. I guess I should start getting used to it! It’s likely to get a lot worse before it gets better, through the rest of the pregnancy as I (and baby) continue to grow and then of course once baby is here – there won’t be a whole lot of time for rest!

Oh well, what can ya do…Now I’m dog/house sitting for a while. James is here with me for the weekends that I’m here so I’m just on my own during the week. I’m fine on my own obviously, it’s just that sometimes I get so tired or feel so uncomfortable that it can be hard to cook and take proper care of myself so I just have to make sure I do what I can to eat right and rest and not let myself get sick. I think I’ll be fine though.

Lately I am hungry ALL the time and I’ve been eating A LOT. Seriously, I will eat a big meal that not so long ago would have either made me sick or feel gross from eating too much…but now I just feel satisfied from it, and could probably eat again about 20 minutes later! I’m doing my best not to totally over do it and pig out too much since really I know I only need about an extra 300 calories per day, which is NOTHING really…But sometimes it’s hard because I just feel so ravenous, I feel like I MUST eat NOW or ELSE! Sometimes I allow myself to give in because lets face it, pregnancy is a time when you can really get away with indulging yourself more than ever, I mean, if not now, when?! And if I gain a few extra pounds from that, well so be it, it’s not the end of the world. But I do want to be healthy as well so I can’t give in aaaall the time! Baby loves food though, I get grumpy kicks and bumps when I’m really hungry (when I truly haven’t eaten and should) and when I’ve eaten something baby finds interesting, I get somersaults and punches that tell me he or she is happy to be getting fed. I like getting to decide what baby’s thinking, whether or not they’re happy about the situation. LOL Hey, I’m the only one that can speak for him or her right now so the best I can do is assume their patterns and likes and dislikes! =)

Last night I went to bed so exhausted – I was feeling it and I was being told by everyone that I looked it – so I figured I’d drift off to sleep fairly quickly. And I may have if baby hadn’t decided to kick and squirm up a storm for close to an hour. At first I was laying on my left side (apparently the best side for circulation, yet whenever I am on my left side baby seems to act up). Well, baby decided I should move – I was getting beat up by little limbs on the left side of my belly near the bed. I figure it’s because I’m wishing I could sleep on my tummy still like I used to, so even though I’m still mostly on my side I’m pressing too much of my belly down onto the bed and baby doesn’t like it. Usually when I switch to the other side, baby either calms down or starts up kicking on the other side by the bed. Well, this time he or she decided to stay on the left side despite that I was now on my right side and I was getting all sorts of crazy movements happening. It felt almost like they were moving their body around and it was poking out of my side, rather than being kicks or punches. It was a really bizarre feeling. I love feeling baby moving around, although sometimes when I’m trying to sleep…!!! I do love it though, it really is incredible, both feeling the movements and lifting my shirt to watch my belly being poked about from the inside!

I feel like I have to take short naps when I can in order to make up for the loss of sleep I’m getting through the night…but even naps are few and far between…

Anyway, today we went to Babies R Us because they were having a bit of a sale. A lot of what I ended up getting wasn’t actually on sale, but the prices were still very reasonable. And a few things, like a baby thermometer and little wash cloths were on special. We just got practical things: change pad cover, fitted sheet for the bassinet, bibs…I wanted to get a few clothes but I didn’t see anything there I had to have. Maybe at Zellers or Sears, where they have really good prices on cute baby wear. We’re going to need some little sleepers and things to keep baby warm through the winter since we’ll be right into winter time when he or she arrives. I mainly want to stick with buying newborn outfits for now though so that when we know if it’s a boy or a girl we can start getting appropriate clothing for when they get bigger – rather than having to get everything in yellow or green to stay neutral!

I love shopping for baby, looking at things and imagining dressing him or her up in the cute little outfits! It’s amazing how little babies are and how tiny their little clothes are – if only they could stay that small for longer than they do! Maybe not forever, but I have a feeling baby’s going to grow up way too fast for my liking =P

I know I go on and on about baby this, baby that pretty much all the time these days on my blog. I do have other things going on to some degree but my life is very much revolving around being pregnant and preparing for our little one. It’s what excites me the most and it’s what consumes me given that my body reminds me all the time that baby is getting ready to make his or her big appearance in just a few more months. It has been the most incredible experience of my life and aside from getting to witness their little personality and get to know them as an individual over the years, I don’t see how anything else in this world could top this for me. I am overjoyed!

Tuesday, September 09, 2008

25 weeks

Today marks 25 full weeks. The weeks are finally starting to go by a little quicker than before. This week coming up, baby’s little eyelids will separate and they will be able to actually see for the first time. Not that they’ll have a whole lot to feast their eyes on in the womb, but still, it’s kind of cute to imagine little baby floating around in there, blinking their eyes and looking about! Baby’s toenails have all grown in by now, fat is being built up under their loose skin, and brain tissue and neurons continue to develop at a rapid pace. Hair will be (or is) growing on his or her head, and baby has the ability to move their head from side to side. No wonder I’m feeling so much bobbing around! Last night baby was so active, I lifted my nightgown and James and I watched baby poking out of my belly and back in. We can’t see actual hands and feet imprints yet, but lots of pushing around! The movements are feeling a lot stronger for me – I have a feeling baby’s going to hurt me on occasion with his or her hard kicks and punches, but I know it goes with the territory =)

Week 26 is the last week of my second trimester so it feels like a sort of milestone getting through this next week. It’s all very exciting!!

Monday, September 08, 2008

End of summer pic post: Part II

(Back tracking a bit from the last post...) On Saturday we went to the farmer's market and got a few goodies: yummy hummus, cheese stuffed olives, organic cherry tomatoes and organic apples. After James got his hair cut, we came home and had some of our market foods with some chips (and I had some carrot cake – Mmmm!) and then I had to have a rest. I got a terrible migraine-type headache on Friday that hadn’t quit, and since we had plans for the evening I wanted to try to sleep it off for the afternoon.

After a few hours sleep, I got up in time to get ready. I still had the headache, though it wasn’t as bad and subsided part way through the night. M&N came over just after 5 to see our nursery (they were impressed with how different the space looks from when it was the office!) and off we went to Capstone Tea for cheese fondue.

It was delicious! I looooove fondue. I also had a strawberry smoothie that was sooo good, really hit the spot. From there we made our way up to the 42nd floor of the Empire Landmark Hotel to the Cloud 9 restaurant. M&N had got me a $50 gift certificate for my birthday in February that I’d yet to use so we decided to go there to spin and drink! Cloud 9 is a revolving restaurant, so you can imagine the 360 degree view of Vancouver – it’s absolutely breathtaking. Since the restaurant is super pricey and not at all vegetarian friendly, we opted for the lounge. When we started out we were looking out at our old building in the west end, then made our way around to Coal Harbour side and saw a view of our new place. It was fun going full circle, even catching a beautiful sunset. It was incredible, the way the sun turned so red and deep orange. It was the perfect night for spin and drink!

Of course, I was just drinking pink lemonade and water but that’s ok! James had a Tom Collins, a spicy Caesar, and I think 2 Paralyzers! He was drinking for 2 =) M&N shared a bottle of wine and then had beer and other drinks – everyone was having a good time (even me, sans alcohol!) We shared some spring rolls and yam fries (the only veggie options!) and were there for a good 3 hours I would say…Oh and there was live entertainment, a guy on piano. He even played a few songs from Beauty and the Beast, which seems weird but it worked (especially considering it’s my favourite Disney movie!) and James and my song, Everything by Michael Buble.

When we came home, despite having such a great time, I was feeling extremely depressed. The feelings came on rather suddenly and I felt like I was in the true depths of despair. (Can you tell I’ve been reading Anne of Green Gables lately?!) I don’t know what it was – everything had gone well, we’d had a great night, there was no reason for me to feel so down. But I guess every now and then the hormones really take over. I have rarely had any sort of mood swings during this pregnancy so far, so I guess I’ve been lucky. I wasn’t angry or anything but just felt so down and didn’t feel like talking or doing much of anything. We decided to call it a night after not too long and of course James fell asleep instantly, whereas I had a lot of trouble and tossed and turned. I finally got up because baby was kicking so much, and sat up for an hour or so – soon enough it was after 2am and I was exhausted. But even when I got back into bed, baby wouldn’t stop moving about and I found it impossible to sleep. I would say I got maybe 3 hours of decent sleep in total through the night – the rest of the time I was trying to get comfortable and move so baby would stop pushing about but nothing would stop him or her from keeping me awake! Not sure why but baby was feeling quite energetic that night.

Anyway, here are some of the pics I took from Cloud 9:

And this, in my opinion, is the best sculpture in Vancouver, I absolutely love it! It's on Georgia Street. The picture doesn't do it justice, but it's incredible. It looks like a hologram and I swear I could just stand there and stare at it for hours and contemplate!

End of summer pic post: Part I

On Sunday we went for a picnic by the rose garden in Stanley Park. It was the perfect day for an end of summer picnic, and such a beautiful location.

This is the only picture I took of the actual 'rose garden' itself, as they were sort of at the end of their blooming period and there were so many other pretty flowers and greenery to enjoy...

Lots of succulents!
Me and my big baby belly :)

It was so serene, I felt so relaxed sitting there in the shade...
These Canada Geese were very vocal about wanting to sample our picnic treats!

Friday, September 05, 2008

Yay, it's the weekend!

I got my hair cut yesterday and I am LOVING it. It’s just past my shoulders, I guess you could say collar bone length. I got similar highlights as last time, though she added more of the vibrant red. I love it! It feels so light and airy, I honestly don’t know that I’d want to grow it very long again. It feels soooo much better without all that bulk.

I had an appointment this afternoon with my midwife. Since we switched clinics partway through the pregnancy, this was only the second time I met the midwife who will (most likely) be delivering our baby. I felt comfortable with her the first time we met but this time I felt even more so. I am so glad we went the route of midwifery. I can’t stress enough how much I recommend it over a regular doctor (unless of course you have a doctor that you already have a relationship with, which is hard to come by in Vancouver!) She just makes me feel so at home and comfortable and cared for. It’s amazing and really follows suite with the whole ‘restorative justice’ mindset that I love so much. Not that it’s a matter of justice here, but you know, along the lines of a peace-building model of care. Just as our traditional justice system is riddled with problems, so is our traditional model of medicine, as far as I’m concerned. Whereas midwives are caring, gentle, and have time to spend with their clients in a way that traditional doctors simply don’t. I found out too that many doctors are not on a salary, so they get paid more the more patients they see in a day – so I now understand the ‘one question only’ policy at most walk-in clinics, since they’re maximizing how many patients they can see per hour. For them, it’s quantity not quality, but with midwives it’s the opposite – and it really shows in the level of care they’re able to offer.

I would be lying if I said I wasn’t worried about the delivery aspect of pregnancy. I think about it and push it to the back of my mind – I’ll deal with that later. Well, later is really starting to creep up on me! With just 3 months and a bit to go, we’re getting close to a stage where we (I) really need to start giving it more thought and get over my fears. I’m confident I’ll be able to do it, it’s just a bit scary to think about…

But it’s all part of the process, and if it means I get to meet baby finally, well, I’m all for it!! It’s like all the interesting changes I’ve been going through in the last 24 ½ weeks. All the new little things that happen week by week, it’s bizarre but incredible!

According to my appointment, my uterus is right where it should be, sitting at about 24 ½ centimetres, and baby’s heartbeat has dropped from 160 bpm to 150, which is normal as he or she gets bigger. All is going well and I am doing my best not to worry because I’m certain baby is in there developing away as he or she should be!

Thursday, September 04, 2008

The gift of life

A few people my parents have known forever have died in the past few weeks. One was about 8 years their senior, but the other was only 2 years older than them. I think they (especially my mom) are having a hard time dealing with these deaths because it hits so close to home when it’s people in your relative age group. One was a heart attack, and the other I suspect was the same though I don’t know for sure. I find it hard to deal with also, just because it forces me to remember that my loved ones aren’t invincible. I don’t know what I would do if I lost one of my parents, anytime – but especially right now. I hope they are both around to meet not only their first grandchild, but their second (should we decide to have another down the road!) I didn’t get to meet my grandfather on my dad’s side because he died of a heart attack about 5 years before I was born. I hate the idea of my kids not knowing my parents because I know they’ll be the most loving, wonderful grandparents ever!

When people die so suddenly like these people my parents knew, it reminds us how precious life is and how we have to enjoy each moment that we’re here. The most recent death was a person whose kids I went to school with and they’re the same age as my brother and me. I hate to think what they must be going through dealing with the loss of their dad right now. I feel so fortunate to have both my parents in my life, and I hope they live for many, many, MANY more years.

Thinking about all this also made me give James more hugs and kisses when he got home from work today, because I don’t want for a second to take him – and our time together - for granted!

I worry about death and dying sometimes, especially now that we have a little one on the way. I want to be able to protect them from the pain that death can cause, though I know inevitably I won’t be able to do that for them. I feel like my own life is that much more valuable now because I need to make sure I’m here for my child as long as I can be. I hate knowing they will one day have to suffer from loss. However, I know we made the right decision to bring another life into the world, because as much as there are painful times there is so much pleasure and beauty in the world too. And I want to teach baby to look on the bright side and see the good that is out there and focus on that. Even though I have a pessimistic side, I am so grateful to have been given the gift of life myself, and I am so excited to be giving that gift to someone else!

Wednesday, September 03, 2008

Categorized as Miscellaneous

I’ve been on a real Anne of Green Gables kick recently.

I’m craving carrot cake, reeeally bad. But I always seem to want what I can’t have…or at least find – we looked for some tonight at the store but it was not to be.

All my cravings so far have been dessert-like items…Interesting…!

I’m getting my hair cut on Thursday and I can hardly wait, because it is thick like a lion’s mane! Hair doesn’t fall out much during pregnancy, or at least as of the last few weeks it has stopped shedding – so it just gets bigger and bigger. Can’t wait to get it thinned out!

I’m trying to look at them in a positive light but our cats are sadly really getting on my nerves lately…One in particular…I am calling her “Rody the Rodent” and she actually comes to me when I call her by her new name! I think it’s just the hormones and the fact that they keep bugging at baby’s nursery…I’m trying to have patience with them but it wears thin at times. I love them dearly but…I need space or something.

Heath Ledger was a very creepy Joker in The Dark Knight – watch it.

I’m tired of having to go to the bathroom every 5 seconds.

Tonight James told me I already look like I’m ready to pop. This is the only time he can get away with saying such things to me! Thing is, I’m going to be waaay bigger in the weeks to come, as hard as that is to imagine!

I’m hoping the contractor will be able to shed some light as to why we’re getting cigarette smoke in our suite when we’re supposed to be separated by concrete from our neighbour. He’s coming in tomorrow to fill any holes – I just hope he finds something so we can rid ourselves of this problem once and for all.

I hope they don’t realize we have rats…er, I mean cats (ha ha) when they’re in here…I’ll have them ‘hiding’ in the bedroom, I just hope they don’t make any noise!

We will have some new additions for baby’s nursery as of tomorrow.

Tuesday was 24 full weeks – we’re getting there!!

It’s almost 12:30 in the morning and I have to be up in 7 hours…given it takes me ages to fall asleep and I toss and turn a lot through the night, that’s not leaving me with many hours of rest…

I wish it was still the weekend.

Monday, September 01, 2008

Smoking should be banned from apartment buildings, period.

Yesterday morning I was at my wits end with our apartment smelling of cigarette smoke. I decided to once and for all send an email to the building managers about it. We have an online system for doing such things (a ‘resident login’ where you can post things etc) so I went ahead and sent the message. Basically asking them what the policy is on smoking in the building, what can be done about the smell in our suite – the fact that we would NOT have moved here had we known it would be like this, and that we refuse to spend more on air purifiers and fresheners when we’ve already spent literally into the hundreds of dollars on such items. Blah blah blah…It was a fairly short, to the point message but I felt like I got out everything I needed to.

Within 15 minutes of hitting ‘send’ the phone rang and it was one of the managers! How’s that for speedy service?! He said that the policy is people can smoke inside their suites, just not in the common areas, so there isn’t a whole lot that can be done…other than putting a weather strip thing on the outside of our front door so hopefully less smoke will get in that way, and a contractor will come in sometime this next week to check the vents and pipe areas in our kitchen to see if there’s a hole. He said he doesn’t see how it could come through the kitchen like that when there’s a concrete wall between us but we know for a fact 100% that it’s happening, since we smell it strongest in that area and all our windows are closed when it happens so it HAS to be coming from SOMEWHERE inside!

He was able to confirm our belief that it’s our direct next door neighbour. She’s apparently been living there since the building opened 5-6 years ago and has been smoking inside that entire time. I’m beginning to wonder – is that why the last tenants left? Maybe they got sick of smelling smoke all the time…It makes me wonder, too, if perhaps she’s had other complaints against her in the past because the manager was all too quick to mention her smoking habits…and when we approached her about 2 months ago in the hallway (just asking her if she knew who smoked on our floor because it was reeking in our suite all the time) she all too quickly said it wasn’t her. She was very convincing in telling us she thought it was someone down the hall, but I had my suspicions about her when for the next 3 days straight there wasn’t so much as a hint of smoke in our place. Coincidence, or did someone have a guilty conscience when I said the smoke smell was literally making me feel sick??!

After a few days of her guilt she obviously couldn’t curb her addiction enough to take it outside – we started smelling it again. It just makes me so mad that she couldn’t ‘fess up, or at the very least not try to blame someone else for it. Its been her all along. Hopefully the contractor will find some sort of hole and fill it and our apartment won’t smell anymore. That would be the most glorious thing ever!

As a side note, can you imagine what HER suite must smell like if she’s in there smoking all the time?? If ours smells as it does at times, I don’t know how she doesn’t suffocate herself in her own home. And she’s only around our age too…I have a feeling she’s going to be riddled with health problems in her future if she doesn’t stop smoking soon. But that’s HER problem – I just don’t think it’s fair that WE are at risk of health problems too because of her disgusting habit…

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