Showing posts from 2008

It's time!

I'm in labour. Can't write much! Contractions are killing me. Next post should be about baby in a few days!!


Soon, very soon...

Today was spent having tests galore.

In the morning was fetal monitoring, so we got to listen to baby’s heartbeat and see when I was having contractions etc as a paper was printed out with squiggly lines. It turns out baby is NOT stressed, which is good since this was a ‘non-stress test’ we were taking! Baby was active and movement was just as it should be.

But my blood pressure was slightly high – which seemed strange given I’ve never once had high blood pressure before…and even yesterday when our midwife checked, it was fine. The nurse at the hospital agreed it was most likely just because I was in the hospital and it was stressing me out a bit.

But nevertheless, after we left the hospital and they called my midwife and told her the results of my test, she requested I go back to the hospital and have blood work done. So off we went back for that…then it was time to go for my ultrasound, which instead of conveniently being at the hospital, was at a clinic in Chinatown.

Then we had to…

Soon I hope...

Our midwife came over this morning – I’m another cm dilated so I’m at 3cm. It’s a good sign that I’m another cm along after 3 days, at least I’m not still in the exact same place as before! But the wait continues. Tomorrow morning we go for a non-stress test to check on baby, then in the afternoon we have an ultrasound booked. Then, if all looks good, on Wed morning I can drink the concoction (herbal inducer). Hopefully I go into labour naturally before all of this happens, but at least we’re working toward getting things happening if it doesn’t happen on its own in the meantime.

The exam has left me uncomfortable again, with more cramping – but it’s good because it most likely is contractions I’m having. I told the midwife what I felt on Friday after the exam and she said it sounded like labour contractions to her – it’s just that we want them to keep going and get stronger, not die off and stop altogether like what’s been happening!

I’m anxious and a bit sad at how long all of t…

To keep my mind off my lack of labour…

1. What did you do in 2008 that you'd never done before?
Got pregnant!

2. Did you keep your New Years' resolutions and will you make more for next year?
I both did and didn’t keep my new years’ resolutions from this past year. I wanted to write more in terms of fiction, but getting pregnant meant wanting to document my reality – and I do think I did a fair job with that, so for now I’m content. As for next year, I just want to focus on my new baby and be the best mom to him or her that I can.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Well, I had hoped to by now but I am definitely hoping I do before the year is out!!

4. Did anyone close to you die?
No one I was really close to, no, thank goodness.

5. What countries did you visit?
If I went anywhere this year I’m currently drawing a blank! I think I’ve pretty much been around here, between Vancouver and the island, this year.

6. What would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008?
Well, I WILL have my baby, and that’s all that m…

I wish, but no...

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!! I am officially insane.

OK I'm not, I'm doing absolutely everything I can to REMAIN CALM. Because that's the best way to get baby here! Stress can keep baby inside so I'm c-a-l-m. If I tell myself that enough times MAYBE I will actually start to believe it.


Why oh why do I have to have such a comfy cozy safe haven of a uterus?! Perhaps if I'd had a more uncomfortable one baby would have wanted to come out of it sooner. But oh no, he or she just loves to float around in there and dig those pesky little toes deeper and deeper into my ribs! I tell ya. Baby is something else!!

My midwife is coming over tomorrow to do another exam so we'll see if I'm any further dilated. She can also do a procedure which HURTS but will help to open my cervix a bit more and could help get labour going a bit sooner. We'll also discuss the herbal concoction for induction I guess - if it comes to that. I hope baby starts throu…

Well, baby remains cozy in mama’s belly =S

When will this ever end?!

We’re hoping tomorrow (today) will be the day. But who knows…I’m beside myself.

And things have gone from bad to worse with James’ family. It’s total insanity. The fact that people are doing this at such an inopportune time…the stress James is going through – I can’t stand it. I’m upset enough that I have to deal with this stress with baby when I should be relaxing and focusing on my last moments of pregnancy – but what really bothers me most is seeing how it all affects James. He is so not deserving of any of it and given that he is such a level guy all the time, I hate seeing how upset he is. He might look cool and collected but I know him and I know he’s hurting inside. I really foresaw our last days/moments before baby being ones of reflection and taking care of one another and being as stress-free as possible, but unfortunately these people just can’t let up or let other people be happy. Their own misery (one person’s in particular) always has to g…

The wait continues!

Last night I had a few more (mild) contractions. My parents came over for a visit in the evening and then my bro and s-i-l joined us. I think everyone just wanted to see me to know I was OK – they are all so anxious about baby and I think about me having to go through labour! I was having some mild cramping at that point but nothing major. I woke up a few times in the night last night to what I believe were small contractions but I haven’t had any so far this morning. Most likely it was that my cervix was aggravated by the exam yesterday and that’s what caused all the cramping. All good signs though – each time that happens it IS helping to get that cervix open!! So hopefully today things will continue to progress. I’m trying to be patient…but it’s not easy!

I need to try to do things today to keep my mind off the birth, although I don’t really know how I’m supposed to do that.

As for the m-i-l situation…she was very cold to James on the phone, has isolated herself where she…

At least there's been progress!

We had a midwife appointment today. I’m feeling a bit better about our progress…I was so worried she’d do the exam and tell me my cervix was still completely closed up, but not the case! My cervix is 2cm dilated so far. Which is a big change from last week since I was so closed up. And it sounds like all my aches and pains have been normal – baby’s head is further engaged into my pelvis. So he or she IS getting ready to make a grand entrance, it’s just a matter of when that will be!

We’re hoping the exam will have also helped to open my cervix a little more. It’s so painful having it checked out though, which worries me since I know it’s NOTHING compared to what labour is going to feel like. I honestly don’t know if I’m going to be able to do this without drugs…But we’ll see! I’ll do my best!

It’s kind of good we didn’t deliver yesterday – as it turns out the only other woman our midwife is dealing with right now who’s due around this time delivered yesterday! So if it had been…

I can’t believe Christmas day is over!

And still no baby…though at least this means baby doesn’t have to share his or her day with the baby Jesus – lol.

James couldn’t sleep last night – I guess the combo of excitement for Christmas and being anxious about baby was too much for him. So he got up just after 6am. Given all my aches and pains and constant need to use the bathroom, I woke up when he did and got up too. We ended up exchanging our gifts to each other before 7 in the morning!

James got me season 1 of The Jetsons (which I mentioned a while back I wanted) and something I’ve been wanting for absolute AGES – an RCMP apron! LOL It’s absolutely hilarious and awesome all rolled into one. It actually looks like a Mountie uniform, but as an apron. I love it!

I got James season 1 of 21 Jump Street and a miniature Guitar Hero (pocket size) as well as some little things, like Turkish Delight, some chocolates, and an apple corer (which makes sense even though it sounds weird!)

Neither of us had slept much so we went back t…

No news...

No baby yet!

Still waiting! Stubborn little thing :P

Merry Christmas, all the same!

A Christmas baby?? Maybe...

The pains are getting stronger and I’ve had some tightening that goes away after about 10-20 seconds…although generally it’s a more constant ache (especially when I walk around) so I’m not sure if I’ve had any actual contractions yet. It’s so hard to know when you’ve never experienced them before! What pain means what?

But I can definitely tell baby is moving, and in a much different way from the usual movements of just listing from side to side or kicking. I’m feeling everything lower down and getting sharp sudden jabs in my pelvis area. I want to say I’d be surprised if things didn’t start happening soon, though I know things can always change and I could have baby inside me for a while yet. I just don’t know…

I am at a point now though where I don’t even mind if baby has to share his or her birthday with Christmas day. Sure in some ways it sucks but in all honesty I want this baby OUT and if it means coming out on Xmas, so be it. Lets face it, this is going to be one spoiled b…


Sorry to disappoint - trust me, I am the most disappointed of all!!

Still waiting...I'm so frustrated. I was up almost all last night, sobbing uncontrollably and just sitting there feeling glum. It hasn't been a fun time.

Now I've got a really sore lower back and my pelvis area is extremely sore. It hurts a lot to get up and walk around - I have to hold baby up a bit. So obviously he or she has really dropped down but it doesn't seem like he or she is fully ready because I'm STILL contraction-less!

I'm pretty much beside myself.

Anyway, Merry Christmas...It doesn't feel like Xmas to me but hopefully baby will become an Xmas miracle for us =) Please send positive vibes - I'm ready for baby to be born even if the birthdate is the 25th!

Will keep you all posted =)

Still with the waiting...

Baby’s continuing on with the stubbornness. I’m not impressed!

I’ve been feeling a heaviness in my pelvis area that I wasn’t feeling before – but how much is that me wanting to feel something different, and how much has actually changed?! That I don’t know. Baby has the hiccups right now. Hasn’t been having them much recently – in fact activity has been at an all time low. Still movements each day enough not to worry that something’s wrong, but much different from before. It HAS to be soon, it just HAS to…

But it’s very frustrating not knowing when and all this waiting and wondering. KNOWING that any time I could start feeling contractions but yet still not knowing what to expect because I HAVEN’T HAD ANY YET.

Gawd, having a baby – or NOT having a baby yet – is exhausting!!! =P

And it’s snowing again and we’re supposed to get another 10-20 cm tonight apparently. Great timing!

It doesn’t feel like Xmas Eve to me at all. I feel like Xmas is still so far off. I can’t even really th…

An (almost) overdue vent...

It’s 5:15pm on baby’s due date and STILL nothing.

I’ve tried everything I can think of, I even went over to my parents’ hotel and because it’s slushy and icy walking outside, I paced the lobby back and forth a bunch of times to get a good walk in. When I came home I put music on and tried to dance baby out of me but that didn’t cause a stir either. I had a spicy drink…nothing. There’s nothing I can do but wait. And it’s killing me.

And James’ mom arrived and expected him to go meet her to take her bags to the place she’s staying…despite that I really didn’t want to be alone. My parents offered to come over and stay with me but it’s James that I feel should be by my side right now. If labour starts HE is the one who should be here! For crying out loud! But off he went to meet up with his mom. Which I guess was the better alternative to her coming over here tonight since I am not at all up for a visit where I’d have to put on a happy face, since I am truly not happy at this point…

Due date

Well it's baby's due date but it seems to me he or she is being stubborn and likes the warm comforts of mommy's belly and doesn't want to come out and bare the cold of winter!

Who knows, it could happen suddenly. Right??

But so far, nothing. Nada.

Am I mentally stable?

No, at this point insanity has taken over.

Couple the waiting game with the fact that my m-i-l arrives this afternoon from Halifax for 2 weeks...

Sorry, I shouldn't say that...but there has been some tension over the past few days with her and James' brother and I'm concerned about how much that stuff will rub off on us while she's here. We have a long history of issues and I just can't deal with any issues right now. I'm doing my best to remain calm about the whole thing. I was just really hoping baby would be a few days early so we'd be able to get settled to some degree before her arrival and I wouldn't be so freaked out about EVERYTHING!

I did have more period-like cra…

Nope, nada...

Still nothing. I don't want to talk about it. I'm just waiting. There's nothing else I can do. I can't sleep, and last night I found myself just pacing back and forth between the kitchen and living room in the middle of the night. I threw up too - most likely just from nerves.

I'm trying to stay calm for baby's sake! I'm just so anxious - I want him or her here NOW!!

But so far I haven't had any more signs that it's going to be happening right away. Tomorrow is our due date so we'll see what happens...

Constant butterflies...

James is watching a movie but I can’t concentrate. I told him, “I have to go write something on my blog, or people are going to be thinking I’ve given birth today!” LOL

Yeah, still no baby. Am I bummed about that? YES!! I SO wanted baby to be born today. But oh well, he or she is in control, so what can I do?! And it’s not like we’re past our due date so I know I should have more patience =P

Today was fairly low-key, seeing as its been snowing a blizzard since last night. We NEVER get this kind of weather around here – and now, when we need to know we’ll easily be able to get to the hospital when need be, it’s insane weather out there. Baby is going to have quite the birth story to listen to over the years! We’re supposed to (apparently) get another 30 cm of snow by tomorrow, which is waaaay too much given we already have a fair bit.

We did go over to the hotel for a little while to see my parents today, but just for a while. I wouldn’t want to walk there alone, I had to h…

Will today be the day?...

Still no sign of baby…But I am REALLY hoping it’s going to be tomorrow – or should I say today now that it’s after midnight (so, the 21st). The first doctor I went to, my old family dr in Nanaimo, said his prediction was the 21st. He didn’t try to chart out my due date based on anything, it was just his guess. All the other doctors and midwives had to use charts to try to figure out when I’d be due and they were all saying Dec 14 or 15…the ultrasound of course is meant to be the most accurate – the 23rd – and the 21st is closest to that date. So I am just hopeful that it’s going to be THE day and the first doctor will be proven to be right!!!!!!!!!!!! Cross your fingers for me!!!

Today was mostly spent just relaxing. I felt SO tired this morning. In the afternoon I got together with my mom for a short while, then came home for a bit, and my parents both came over for dinner. My dad is FINALLY here for the rest of the holidays! After dinner my parents and I went over to my bro …

Getting closer...

I had my midwife appt today – I’m hoping the last one, although there’s one booked for the 26th should I go past my due date…something I desperately hope doesn’t happen…

Baby’s head is fully engaged now! So that’s a good sign…and apparently the period cramping feelings I’ve been having are a good sign that things are progressing. My cervix is still fully closed, although that doesn’t necessarily mean anything…

Baby’s heartbeat was as strong as ever and everything seems good – now it’s just dealing with the wait. I’ve been having a LOT of very heavy pushes down tonight and stabbing pains in my bladder area more and more so hopefully that means baby is going to want to come out VERY soon. Like as in this weekend would be really nice (baby, are you listening?!)

I am so freaking ready I can’t stand it.

My dad is on his way over tomorrow so I feel like baby can come any time now and it would be good – everyone would be here who needs to be.

I spent most of the day with my mom again today. …

Everyone's waiting for baby!

Spent the day with my mom. We had brunch with my grandma and uncle at the hotel. After that we went and had a hot drink and then spent most of the afternoon in my mom’s room. Watched some TV (Party of 5!) and then I fell asleep. I actually slept for about an hour, sprawled out on the couch covered in fleece blankets =) It was good for me, I needed it. I kept waking myself up snoring though, which is crazy because I am NOT a snorer! It’s pregnancy-related, I’m sure of it!

Had a bite of supper with my mom and hung out at our apartment for a while, spent a bit of time with James before heading back to the hotel. My mom and I spent some time at the lounge and chatted. Its been nice having this quality time together.

I’m so uncomfortable though. More and more all the time. Lots of period-like cramps, a pressing down feeling, tightness. Baby’s arrival is imminent. At least that’s how I’m feeling. I am so ready and actually starting to feel slightly desperate to get things starte…

I keep dreaming that I’m scaling walls and hiking impossible terrain.

Nothing but anxiety now. And excitement. I hate waiting around for things. I know it’s good to be able to just go with it as to when things happen – what will be will be, blah blah…but…At this stage waiting longer just doesn’t seem fair! I don’t even have anything to read about – I got so used to checking out the weekly updates of ‘what’s happening’ during this stage of pregnancy. Now even those are just filler, because there’s nothing left. Baby might pack on a little more fat, and yes his or her immune system can continue to build up, but beyond that baby’s just wasting time in there! Just keeping all warm bundled up in utero not realizing that the rest of us out here are so anxious to meet him or her! Come on out baby! We want to play!!

To pass some time...

Are you dating anyone currently?
My husband is my date to most, if not all, events =)

Has anyone ever called you perfect before?
James has =)

What song is stuck in your head?
Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays by Nsync!

Someone knocks on your window at 2 am, who do you want it to be?
No one – given we’re on the 9th floor I’d be a bit frightened to have someone knocking on the window!

Are your eyes the same color as your mom's or dad's?
Same as both since they both have blue eyes, but probably closer in hue to my mom’s!

Has anyone ever told you you have pretty eyes?

What makes you laugh?
All the silly things that James says!

What did you do today?
Hung out with my mom and tried to relax.

Do you think too much or too little?
I’d say waaaay too much!

Where's the shirt from that you're wearing?
Motherhood Maternity, and it’s a nursing nightgown, not a shirt!

Are there things you can't live without?
If people count as ‘things’ I would say my family! I can’t live without love either, b…

Still waiting...

My mood improved for most of the day. I got together with my mom. I had a really yummy Eggnog latte (NOT from Starbucks – I don’t like theirs) and we had lunch together. When we arrived at the restaurant I told my mom I had to go to the bathroom, which was true but I also wanted to go buy her a necklace she had been admiring in the display window of the gift shop. So I went there first and got it, then used the bathroom…So by the time I got back to the restaurant she was a little antsy, wondering what took me so long since I never take long to go use the toilet! She was envisioning me doubled over in the bathroom in labour – lol. This whole waiting game is getting to everyone!!

I gave my mom the necklace and then she knew what had taken me so long. She loved it and it looks so nice on her. I told her to think of it as a gift from me AND baby =)

It was quite the winter wonderland out there today. We couldn’t venture out anywhere because it was just too miserable out with all th…

Anxious much?

I’m feeling really emotional now. I had a horrible sleep last night and I’m just uncomfortable and antsy and I CAN’T TAKE THIS ANYMORE!

When the jabs in my bladder were really getting to me, I suddenly got this strong desire to do some last minute nesting. I hate the idea of there being even the slightest mess when ‘it’s time’ so I’ve been trying to keep things as tidy as possible. Part of my reasoning is not wanting to come home from the hospital to any mess, since I won’t feel like cleaning at that point. But another reason is that most likely we’ll be giving our keys to my parents so they can drop by if they need to – either to pick things up that I may have forgotten to take with me, or to maybe feed the cats (although I’ll fill their bowls up before we go so they’re fine on their own for a few days anyway). Even though my parents know we keep a clean house anyway and would never judge my tidiness given they know what I’m like! But still, it’s just the type of person I am, I …

Baby's quilt!

Finally, after going on and on and on...and on...about it - baby's cross stitch quilt is not only completed but it successfully made it through its first wash without any thread dyes bleeding and ruining the whole thing! =)

I am soooo happy with it...The pictures don't do it justice - but there was a LOT of intricate detail involved and I love the way it came together. It's not often I do a project that I feel so thrilled about, but this took a LOT of hours - I would honestly say close to if not 100 hours of stitching, I'm not kidding!
I think the Panda is my favourite...
And now I must go because baby is pressing SO hard on my bladder I feel like it's going to explode...It's getting more and more intense...

I'm glad I finished the quilt when I did because I think baby's going to be here soon!! =)

If these bladder jabs are killing me, what's labour going to do??!!!!!

Today I met up with my mom for a coffee. I enjoy a Chai Latte at Christmas time! For some reason I think of it as a seasonal drink, even though I know it doesn’t have to be.

We hung out for most of the day, came back to the apartment for a late lunch. After which my mom went back to the hotel and I had a short nap and got a bit of laundry done. I met up with her again in time to also get together with my aunt and uncle, then James arrived, then my bro and s-i-l. It was nice to have a family get-together like that! We just hung out at the hotel lounge and had some drinks and food and talked. It was fun! I feel like it’s a good time to be maximizing the social times like this since once baby’s here we won’t be frequenting lounges!

Baby was fairly active today, mostly just sort of rolling from left to right. I had a bit of period-like cramping while we were out and then as soon as we got up to leave I started feeling the pushing on my bladder feeling again. It comes and goes but …

Sleep is a thing of the past…

We are down to the last week of counting down! JUST ONE WEEK!!

I am officially insane from the anticipation =)

I had another horrible sleep last night. Come on baby, I’ve given up on trying to catch some zzz’s before your arrival – hurry up and let me know it’s time!

I’ve been emailing back and forth with the couple from our prenatal class who gave birth a week and a half ago to a beautiful baby boy. I guess thinking about their little one got into my head and last night I had a dream about them. It was so strange because (in the dream) I was reading this message from the mom and she was talking about the baby as if it were a girl, but I knew it was supposed to be a boy. As I read further I found out what had happened: they had indeed given birth to a boy, but he had morphed into a girl! Basically she was sitting there watching him sleep when all of a sudden his body contracted much like the uterus does during a labour contraction and he turned into a baby girl who they called Eil…

Another late night...

Last night we had my parents and bro and s-i-l over. I made a yummy pizza dip (which I meant to post the recipe for ages back but didn’t…and still won’t because I’m too lazy at this point but one day I will!) I also popped some hor d'oeuvres in the oven. At this point it’s got to be easy to prepare or I can’t do it! Not that my family even expects me to be doing anything like that but it’s nice to put some snacks out when people are over!

I just wish we had a bit of a bigger place. Our living room is so small and when we have more than 2 people over it feels crammed and seating is an issue. One day we’ll have a bigger layout! We’ll have to, because baby won’t fit here for very long. Baby doesn’t even have a closet for crying out loud! Not sure what we were thinking when we moved here, especially since we KNEW we wanted to start a family in the relatively near future once we moved last time…If only we knew we’d be pregnant within about 3 weeks of moving in – HA! It was pla…

Baby’s still in there…for now!

I’ve been having a lot of period-like cramping and I’ve been feeling baby pressing on my bladder more and more. When I saw my parents today my mom said baby has definitely dropped since she saw me last because the top part of my belly is down farther than before and the rest looks more filled out.

I am feeling so anxious now. I feel like it could happen any time. Of course, it could still take another few weeks even though our due date is in a week and a half. One never knows! But I just feel so ready and like it’s going to be soon for some reason, but I guess I don’t really know that for sure. Wishful thinking, maybe?!

Because it’s going to happen soon no matter what, I think part of me is just so completely wrought up about it that I’m maybe thinking I am showing more signs of it than I am?! The cramping might be Braxton Hicks, or it might be that I am creating tension there because of how freaked out I feel when I get to thinking about all of this unfolding.

It’s a very crazy t…

Where does the time go?! I can't believe it's December 14th already.

I really should be sleeping, given I didn’t get to sleep till around 3am and I got up at 6:30…I really should try to get as much rest as I can while I can! But it’s so much easier said than done.

First of all, I started having some really bad pains last night. Basically it’s baby moving on down, because it’s stabbing pains in my bladder from time to time. The midwife said at my last appt that it’s normal to feel that as baby is pushing on my bladder as he or she makes his or her way further into my pelvis. So I am thinking baby is dropped, or dropping more and more. Which is a good sign that he or she will be on the way soon – although we all know that’s the case anyway given our due date is right around the corner!

I am tempted to start wanting baby out ASAP now that my parents are going to be on their way over (today). My dad’s only here overnight but my mom is staying on till the new year (in Vancouver, not actually at our apartment since it’s so small). Of course, if baby is …

A few pics...

I've been so neglectful of posting pictures lately. I don't know why that is...I guess I haven't been taking as many. Once baby is here I'll have 10 million of him or her though! LOL are a few...

This one was taken a week ago. My belly isn't a whole lot bigger since then. Well, maybe it's possible baby is still gaining half a pound a week, or so I'm told! But while it feels a bit fuller I don't think I'm looking TOO much bigger. I'll get James to take a few pics of me this weekend and we'll know for sure ;)

I love this shirt though, 'Kicking 24/7' - how true, how true!! All up into my ribs these days :)

Last Sunday we took our stroller out for a test run, just to make sure we could finagle it ok. It's a bit cumbersome so we needed to know if it would work for us. My grandma bought it for us from her neighbour so it's second hand but in very good condition. It's one of the most expensive ones o…

Come on baby, show me a sign!

Woke up this morning to snow, although it never stuck – just some wet flakes coming down. James decided to work from home to avoid having to bike in it as he’d have got drenched if he did. Not that he isn’t used to getting soaked on his way to work – this is Vancouver, after all! But I was happy to know he’d be staying home for the day. It means he can be done work a little earlier and I won’t be sitting here waiting for him to get home! That might make me sound pathetic but I do sort of wait around since I’m starving usually by the time he’s getting off work and I’m forever waiting for him to get home so we can EAT! lol

I had to go for my midwife appointment this morning. I so did not want to venture out in the weather – which by this time had turned to heavy rain. And wind. I was crossing the street and the wind blew my umbrella inside out – and I have a fairly sturdy umbrella! Luckily it didn’t break – I would be needing it for the rest of my trip!

My appt went well. I fee…