Tonight I printed out all our wedding thank you cards. All we need are our pictures and then we’re going to pick out a really nice one of the two of us and print those out and attach them to the front. I feel good having a big portion of the job taken care of. I actually really enjoy writing out cards. I even felt myself getting choked up after I read the one I wrote to the staff of the yacht we were married on! I am so sentimental these days, weddings will do that to you I guess!
Jackass (that’s my new name for a certain someone) is such an a-hole that he wouldn’t do us one tiny little favour in order to help us get our pictures, which HAVE arrived but clearly are in the wrong hands. I am so mad I could spit. Spit fire in his face that is. Or worse. I am so freaking angry at him that it’s as beyond funny as it could get. I have always agreed with the notion of doing unto others as you would wish them to do unto you. And while I plan on continuing to uphold that value for the most part, it’s going to be a major challenge for me to think that way with regards to Jackass. I sometimes wonder if I’m coming to the point of no return with him. He has pulled so many stunts over the years and I am thinking of just letting go. I have no choice but to have contact but it has to be minimal unless he basically becomes a different person. It’s sad it has to be that way because things could be so much better than what they are. But why would I make an effort when all I’ve ever gotten was abuse? And that’s honestly what it is. I’m tired of seeing him constantly get away with his ridiculous, childish behaviour. It makes me want to throw up in my mouth.
It’s funny (not really, but…), he called me poison once right to my face (along with a slew of other really nasty things) right out on the sidewalk on Davie Street – literally everyone on the street turned to stare at the spectacle he was making of himself, and, unfortunately, of me. I will never forget all he said to me that day. He has said many terrible things to me over the years but that day beat all. What’s funny (not really, but…) is that HE is the one who is toxic to pretty much everyone he comes into contact with. He can be like a cameleon and you’d think he could get along with absolutely everyone. But when it comes right down to it, you can see right through him and everything he does is for number one. He only thinks about himself, he has made that quite clear. And tonight confirmed it for the last time for me. Once I have my precious pictures I am going to take a deep breath and let him go.
On a happier note…other than that scandal I am actually quite happy at the moment. I’d been feeling restless and strange for days and last night it came to me that it probably had something to do with the full moon. I really believe in the power of the moon’s effects. Truly. I have seen evidence of it on many a full moon day! It has to be more than coincidence. And my body is quite sensitive right now so I just know that the moon was affecting me badly. Hopefully now I’ll be able to rest easier.
As I tried to go to sleep the other day for a bit of nap (which I wasn’t successful at, but whatever), I got to thinking about my place in the universe and I could envision this vast amount of space all around me, going on forever, and then the earth and me on it laying there on my bed and it felt so bizarre. I realized how tiny and insignificant I am and yet that made me feel more content somehow.
Life is so bizarrely fascinating!