Showing posts from May, 2007

Get Well, Get Well Soon, We Want You To Get Well

I’ve had a splitting headache since Saturday night.It just won’t quit.Then yesterday afternoon it was joined by a sore throat, and by this morning I woke up with a stuffy nose.So it would seem I now have a full fledged cold.I’ve since started getting that achy all-I-want-to-do-is-sleep-but-I-can’t-because-I-feel-too-wretched feeling.I tried napping this afternoon but to no avail, because when I rolled onto my left side my right nostril would plug right up, and when I moved onto my right side my left nostril would do the same.I can’t STAND that!Either be plugged together or don’t be plugged at all, I say. Luckily my job is flexible enough that I can work from home when I need/want to.I usually try to give my manager more notice than the day of, but she doesn’t really seem to mind either way.So I’ve decided I really can’t complain about the nature of my job.Sure, it’s not directly related to my interests, sure I know I could be doing a lot better (actually, that’s an understatement).…

Pictures go with last post

In no particular order...

All from yesterday, some showing the birds eating (from my last post), a lot of heron pics (including their nests in Stanley Park) and other random ones =)

It's Sunday, what can I say?

Yesterday we visited the yacht again that we’re getting married on. I am SO excited! We both are. Two months from today is our big day and we CAN’T WAIT!!

We also enjoyed a nice walk through Lost Lagoon yesterday. There were all these birds – mostly seagulls, one crow, and a duck – who had discovered a pile of seeds that someone had dumped there for them. Thing was, the male seagull was hording it and would scare away all the others as they tried to get in there to eat. It angered me so much that the male wasn’t even letting his female counterparts get fed. I tried telling him that they bare the children so he’d better be nice to them, but he wasn’t listening.

So finally I walked over there and asserted my authority over him. As soon as I’d get close he’d give me this sort of sideways glance and hop away from the feed. I scooped up a handful of it and took it a little ways down and dropped it to make two piles so it would be harder for him to hord. My plan worked, after a minu…

Warning: this post includes LOST spoilers!

Listening to Matt Good’s new song Can’t Get Shot In The Back If You Don’t Run. Not surprisingly it’s sad, but good nonetheless. I can’t wait till his new album Hospital Music comes out this summer.

I worked from home today so at lunch time James and I went for a short walk to English Bay. It was the perfect day for a stroll along the beach! Maybe could have been a degree or so warmer, but still t-shirt weather. Beautiful! I love being able to spend a bit of time with James in the afternoon too, like old times. I took some pictures along the way…Enjoy!

These flowers were so bizarre but pretty!

And LOST last night…omg…what can I say, except IT’S ALREADY KILLING ME TO KNOW THAT THE SHOW’S NOT ON AGAIN TILL EARLY 2008!!!!! Looks like we’re seeing into the future now, and I want more!!

Spoilers to follow, so if you’re a LOSTIE but haven’t caught the finale, don’t read on…

What a series of events! I’m finding myself feeling badly for Sawyer, despite what he did (such as killing Tom). I…

Get LOST...I am!!

Two part season finale of LOST starts in 1.5 hours!!


We FINALLY got our passports in the mail today, it ONLY took two and a half months. Now we can rest easy knowing we will be able to fly to our honeymoon destination in August!


Now that we have our birth certificates back, I can go and pick up (or should I say pay $100 for – but it’ll be worth it!!) our marriage license. Slowly but surely all the pieces of the puzzle are being put together!


I’m going to start working from home more often starting next week. It helps with the mundaneness of the job to be able to take frequent breaks, although I know that’s going to make the work day ultimately last a lot longer. I guess it’s a fair trade off though. I will be able to putter about and get things done and work in between. I’m still going into the office at least a few days a week though, as I’ve made friends there and still want to be a part of the ‘group.’ I keep telling myself when I get down in the dumps about how crappy…

My two cents

Last night I finished reading Tuesday’s with Morrie, by Mitch Albom. If you have not read this book, I urge you to pick up a copy and read it NOW! Well, finish reading my blog post first, and THEN go out and buy this book!! =)

The fact that it’s a true story makes it all the more inspiring. I loved it. And it’s the kind of book that you could sit down and read in a couple of hours. It was sad to realize the story was over when I got to the last page. BUT I still have The 5 People You Meet in Heaven to read, so I can rest easy knowing I have more Mitch Albom to indulge in =) (BTW, For One More Day is another amazing read, if you’re into Mitch Albom’s work. That book was my introduction to him, and now –as you can see – I am hooked!)

However, I’m going to read something different before I get into the next MA book. My next read is called Lost Souls, by Michael Collins. It’s a book I picked somewhat at random while perusing Book Warehouse some months ago but have yet to start re…


Stolen from Claire :)

Q. What is your salad dressing of choice?
A: Vegetarian Caesar dressing – my mom makes it best!

Q. What is your favorite fast food restaurant?
A. Baguette Time. It’s ‘fast’ but healthy and sooo delicious (the bocconcini baguette is the BEST, the brie is a close second…) Oooh I want one now!

Q. What is your favorite sit-down restaurant?
A. Probably SalaThai on Burrard. I love the atmosphere, the food is yummy, and I have fond memories of the place (James proposed to me there!)

Q. On average, what size tip do you leave at a restaurant?
A. Usually 10-15%

Q. What food could you eat every day for two weeks and not get sick off of?
A. Welsh Currant Cakes for a snack…I think I honestly could eat the above mentioned bocconcini baguette every day for 2 weeks too!! Mmmm!!

Q. What are your pizza toppings of choice?
A. Pineapple, feta cheese, tomato, sometimes banana peppers

Q. What do you like to put on your toast?
A. Becel and jam, sometimes peanut butter

Q. What is your favorite t…

For the love of sharks

Flipping through the March 2007 issue of National Geographic, I came across an article on sharks, particularly those that reside in the waters surrounding the Bahamas.

The article discusses the fact that sharks found in abundance a few decades ago are now endangered, and one major factor in their near extinction has to do with human greed.

Apparently shark fins are in high demand. They contain near tasteless cartilage ribbons or ‘noodles’ that are a costly ingredient in shark-fin soup. Up to 73 million sharks die each year for their fins, which command over $300 a pound in Asian markets.

The thing that really got to me while reading the article was this:

The trade is illegal and cruelly wasteful – finners often slice off the fins and throw the sharks back to starve, drown, or be eaten alive – but it continues to grow.

Now, while I’m not a particularly huge fan of the place, there’s a restaurant in Vancouver called House of Noodles, or HON’s. I can’t seem to eat Chinese food without my t…

With this ring, I thee wed

Last night James and I went out and bought our wedding bands. We’re so excited! We had looked a little while back but wanted to wait till closer to the time (and when we’d saved up the money) to actually buy them. Mine is a thin white gold band with a row of diamonds. I was planning on getting one with just 3 small diamonds but the one with more diamonds was actually cheaper than the other. AND it matched perfectly with my engagement ring, whereas the other one didn’t. So I was thrilled to bits with what I picked out! And the store we got them from has a guarantee that none of their diamonds are conflict diamonds, so we were relieved to know there were no ‘blood diamonds’ involved. I would have liked to have got Canadian diamonds, but oh my god they are not feasible unless you’ve got tons of money to throw around! And really, who cares about the quality and so on? I mean, we got nice diamonds but even if they were totally fake, I would have no idea either way. We did learn …

This time I lose but I know one day I’ll win, One day I’ll win…


Sometimes I wish that I could turn my life on and off like a light switch.

There are moments, like this one, where I wish it was in off mode. I find myself in moods so low that I think to myself, If I was dead I wouldn’t have to deal with this sinking feeling. I wouldn’t have to carry on living out this stupid fucking charade.

I can’t handle the rage, the pain of the hurt and the deep, deep sadness. I want it to end end end. I want to know the emptiness that is my lack of existence.

Yet, more often than feeling this way, I find myself waking up with a start in the middle of the night thinking about how one day I really will cease to exist. I am disturbed by the very thought. I am one of those people that actually loses sleep thinking about death. Most of the time, the idea of it sends chills up and down my spine. I don’t want to be gone forever. I don’t want to lose myself to death. I don’t want to face the inevitable.

So hypocritical am I.

I just HATE feeling so god damned mi…

Like as if you care

A= Available~ No.
B= Best Friend~ James.
C= Cake or pie~ Cake, but pie will do in a pinch!
D= Drink of choice~ Iced tea (Nestea or Lipton’s, Canadian sweetened style)
E= Essential item you use everyday~ I can’t choose just ONE essential item! If I had to, I guess I’d pick deodorant, because, well, you know.
F= Favorite color~ Blue.
G= Gummy bears or worms~ Aren’t they kind of the same thing? I prefer Swedish Berries to either of these…
H= Hometown~ Nanaimo, BC, Canada.
I= Indulgences~ Welsh Currant Cakes, chocolate, shows like Gilmore Girls (which I still haven’t seen the last episode of!!)…
J= January or February~ February. My birthday is the 5th!
K= Kids and Names~ We want to have 2…we have the girl’s name picked out but we’re still deciding on the boy’s.
L= Life is incomplete without?~ Love.
M= Marriage date~ July 27, 2007. Two months and 10 days away!!
N= Number of siblings~ An older bro.
O= Oranges or apples~ Apples – and I LOVE apple juice, especially organic apple cider!
P= Phobias or Fe…

Crazy Ivan IV

We met on the internet when I was 16. We chatted on occasion and sent banter back and forth through email. It was all very sweet and innocent – never did I feel that he was out for an internet romance or anything of a ‘cyber sexual’ nature. He was funny and interesting and creative and every time my inbox showed a message from him, I smiled.

This went on for some time, and eventually we agreed that it would make sense to take things to the next step – that being ‘the phone call.’ It’s strange getting to know a person through email only, it seemed only natural that we get to hear one another speak. So we exchanged numbers, and one day soon after the phone rang and it was him on the other end of the line.

He told me that he’d asked his dad if it would be alright to call (he lived in Fredericton and I lived in Nanaimo, so of course it was long distance) and that his dad had said yes, as long as he wasn’t too long. So we talked for maybe ten minutes, mostly just smiling to each other …

Jann Arden Concert

Last night my mom and I went to The Centre and saw Jann Arden.

What a fantastic show! It started off with J.P. Hoe, who at first I wasn’t sure about but by the end of his set, I was thinking I should go out and buy his CD. He was sort of like John Mayer (his earlier stuff anyway) but with his own originality and less pop-like. He has a great voice and plays a really mean guitar!

And Jann Arden was incredible. It’s not often an artist can not only sound as good as they do on CD, but BETTER. That woman has talent. And she’s so freaking hilarious! She had the whole audience in stitches a number of times throughout her performance.

I didn’t think I knew that much of her stuff but out of the whole concert, there was maybe one song I wasn’t familiar with. And I love the songs she sang from her new album, Uncover Me. She puts a great spin on old hit songs.

She’s also very inspiring in her overall message about how to live your life. She’s very free-spirited and makes you think about…


Whatever you do, NEVER EVER even so much as CONSIDER getting Canadian Springs water. They are such a horrible company to deal with. There is no consistency in what they tell you, their customer service is deplorable, they will rip you off and make it near impossible to cut off all ties with them. An AWFUL company to deal with, so don't put yourself through the headache like we have. There are plenty of good water companies out there I'm sure. We're getting Culligan water from Safeway now and it's way cheaper and tastes every bit as good - and there is no shitty service to deal with, we can just fill it up ourselves whenever we feel like.

Canadian Springs is literally one of THE WORST companies I have ever done business with. Just putting the warning out there because THEY ARE NOT WORTH IT.

It helps to keep at it

Currently (finally) reading Tuesdays with Morrie. What a great book! I’m at about the half way point. So good, it’s hard to put it down. And knowing it’s based on a true story makes it all the more inspiring.

Watch Empire of the Sun. I was very pleasantly surprised.

I am working at being more mindful. For a while I was practicing mindfulness regularly. It was easy then, because I was taking a course on the topic and had to do weekly exercises in awareness for marks. I didn’t let what I learned completely slip from my mind when the course was over, but I found it easy to sink back into old habits. Habits of forgetting to live in the moment, of holding onto grudges, of seeing the world as black and white. Not that I’m not still guilty of this – there are always going to be times where it’s impossible to see the sky for the clouds - but I’m working at remembering my place in all of it.

It can be really trying for a person that just wants a few answers in life. For a person wh…

What's the flaming use?

I wonder sometimes why things happen when they do. Not that we are necessarily ever better equipped to deal with certain things, but I do think there are more and less opportune times for certain things to happen.


I just found out that I did not make it to the next step with a govt job I applied for ages ago. I wrote an exam for it, it was for a branch of the govt that deals with Indian Residential Schools Resolution issues. It would have perfectly fit with my degree and would have been something I’d be interested in and happy to be a part of. But alas, I was not as good as other candidates according to my test results.




Maybe I am just not as aggressive, maybe it is self esteem issues that hurt me. I want to be successful and I KNOW I am a hard worker, yet things don’t seem to work out for me when it comes to jobs.


I am not happy where I currently am, yet I lack the confidence to believe I can find something better.


I sometimes just want to sink into a hole and ne…

Well wouldn't you know it

You Are the Middle Finger
A bit fragile and dependent on your friends, you're not nearly as hostile as you seem.
You are balanced, easy to get along with, and quite serious.
However, you can get angry and fed up with those around you. And you aren't afraid to show it!

You get along well with: The Index Finger

Stay away from: The PinkyWhat Finger Are You?

Tell me there's something more...

Don’t tell me I’m ‘just average’ That’s just rudeAnd uncalled forNot to mention Totally Ridiculous.You knowI go with good intentions, And I continually fight off my desire to completely give up
But at the end of each day, the same feeling returnsI think to myself, What did I do today?What was it for?WILL I EVER HAVE A JOB I ACTUALLY EVEN REMOTELY ENJOY?I want to say there is a glimmer of hope within me, but some days I’m just not so sure.And I know, I know, we can’t all be so lucky as to have jobs we’re all cheery about and eager to get up in the morning for.But come on, can’t I ever get a break?I’m so sick and tired of feeling like I’m treading water…working hard but never actually getting closer to shore.

Random stuff I wrote last night...

I’m all over the place.

I’m thinking about things from all aspects of my life all the time. While I work at compartmentalizing one thing, another thing pops up that must be filed. Just like the state of my surroundings. I love all my stuff but a part of me also wants to be less attached to so much.

I want to go through it all and weed out what I don’t require.

Will I succeed?


When I see someone sitting on the sidewalk asking for change and then I go into the liquor store where I’m getting something I obviously don’t really NEED and then I walk back past that same person and they can see what I got and I have to go on like I didn’t just do something wrong. I feel sort of guilty in those moments.


Tonight when James and I were out for a walk, we passed by two men who looked to be homeless. They asked us if we could spare some pennies and we both said, “No, sorry.” As we continued on, I heard the one guy say to the other, “Well hey, at least they ANSWERED me!”

I know exactly what th…

Curiosity killed the cat...

And it ruined Coronation Street for me…I’m still going to watch it of course but I couldn’t help but peak at some news about story lines waaaay into the future and now I feel like I know too much. The show is actually roughly 8 months ahead from what’s being aired in Canada right now. So naturally the internet is riddled with information about the current status of people’s affairs on the show. And affairs they are! My god, the series of events that happens over the next while is something else…Most of it I’m not entirely surprised by, although part of me wishes I didn’t know as much as I do. I just couldn’t stop reading, and each word got etched on my brain so that I won’t be able to forget what I know as it all unfolds…

And YouTube allowed me to even WATCH some of the goings on of the future episodes. God, I really have a problem, don’t I? This amount of CS obsession cannot be healthy…

A constant reminder that anything could happen

I dreamt that I woke up in the morning to a big black cloud hovering in the sky. Only upon further inspection, I realized it was not a regular rain cloud, but a thick cloud of black smoke. Looking closer, I saw that an apartment building across the way from ours was literally GONE. It had burnt to a crisp and just a shell of the building remained.

Thinking about the fact that all those people had lost everything while I slept made me wonder what I would do if put in that situation. All of these reflections occurred in my dream, although they were very much real.

I tell you, these building fires we’ve been having are really getting to me.

And wouldn’t you know, a few hours later I woke to the sound of fire trucks barreling down the street. Not toward our building, thank goodness, but knowing that someone else was in need of them didn’t make it seem that much better.

A series of events

It has been an interesting week so far.

Over the weekend I spent a lot of quality time with my mom, who came over to help with more wedding planning stuff. We got the flowers sorted, which takes a huge load off our minds! I’m going to make a few changes to what we ordered but at least we’ve got the person booked for that, and she’s going to help set up the decorations too. We’re going very simple on the flowers – I will have a pretty bouquet with blue hydrangeas and white lilies, there will be a mini bouquet for throwing, and beyond that there will just be corsages and boutonnieres. The table arrangements are going to include flower petals, but they’re fake, and other stuff that will create a sort of ‘theme.’ It’s on a yacht and I just didn’t see the point in going crazy spending money on a million flowers. We’re going for ‘simple elegance.’

On Tuesday the highlight of my day was meeting Trevor Linden from the Vancouver Canucks. I’m not even a hockey fan really, but I found mys…